*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

qchelle said:
My teeth look so much better even now! The gaps in my front and bottom teeth are almost gone :cry3: i have 2.5 more months to go. I can't wait to see the finished product.

He got on my nerves with his stupid attitude on Saturday. But he corrected himself and today was much better. He bought me this perfume I wanted. Well, I told him to buy it and he did lol.

I go to the gym when I'm over his house on the weekends. It be packed on Sunday mornings! 95%black. This is where the millennials be instead of church :lol: I pass by 2 churches on the way to the gym...parking lots be parched af. Go us lol. I mean for prioritizing the gym. Not for not going to church lol..I guess :look:

His mom asked me to be a hostess in her wedding and I said yes :) she asked me to spell my name so she wouldn't get it wrong (it's ghetto lol) and for my last name. Well, my last name is her last name for a few more months lol. So then she called SO back and asked him if we had gotten married :lachen: but then remembered my last name has always been this :lol:
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You did the smile direct club, right? I had braces before, and bonding, but my teeth have shifted since then. Debating whether to get them bonded again or try this
 
UniquelyDivine said:
I can say my life is totally different than what I thought it would be when I was with that man, but I'm exactly where I want to be as well and I wouldn't be here if I were with him, I would probably be miserable with a toddler and feeling trapped.
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Same here. My ex husband went through with the wedding and I found out two weeks after we got married that he was cheating. Long story short- we are now divorced, he is still with her and they are engaged. The whole thing was pretty painful but it changed my life tremendously. Unfortunately we have a child together so I still have to deal with him but generally speaking- my life has turned out much better since the divorce. If I stayed with him, I would have been some where in Philly miserable and pregnant for him while going through everything to see if he was still cheating. I definitely wouldn't have finished my studies as far as I have and would have been working a basic job. Complete opposite of what I have going on now.
 
qchelle said:
His mom asked me to be a hostess in her wedding and I said yes :) she asked me to spell my name so she wouldn't get it wrong (it's ghetto lol) and for my last name. Well, my last name is her last name for a few more months lol. So then she called SO back and asked him if we had gotten married :lachen: but then remembered my last name has always been this :lol:
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Too funny - isn't that awesome. You won't even have to change your name when y'all get married. Just continue on.
 
quirkydimples said:
I just blocked my first guy. Dude you are not the prize. I AM THE PRIZE! Blocked.
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Yessssss *high five*

Sad thing though- I have heard males say "I am getting tired of women who think they are the prize, I need to be won over too..."
I don't know where these "special" men come from. Maybe after they get a few more blocks- they will see they aren't the prize.
 
gimbap said:
You did the smile direct club, right? I had braces before, and bonding, but my teeth have shifted since then. Debating whether to get them bonded again or try this
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Yes. The aligners actually work! However, their customer service is very bad. I've had to call to tell them to ship my next set, even after they've taken the money out. There supposed to auto-ship when they take the money every month. Also, getting through to a rep could take hours if you don't call when they first open.

Another pro: they take payment through your fsa.

What is bonding?
 
qchelle said:
Yes. The aligners actually work! However, their customer service is very bad. I've had to call to tell them to ship my next set, even after they've taken the money out. There supposed to auto-ship when they take the money every month. Also, getting through to a rep could take hours if you don't call when they first open.

Another pro: they take payment through your fsa.

What is bonding?
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Bonding is when the dentist puts this tooth-colored compound on your teeth and uses this light to harden it, and it can close up any minor gaps. It's also used when someone chips a tooth. It's like a fake tooth piece, basically
 
movingforward13 said:
Same here. My ex husband went through with the wedding and I found out two weeks after we got married that he was cheating. Long story short- we are now divorced, he is still with her and they are engaged. The whole thing was pretty painful but it changed my life tremendously. Unfortunately we have a child together so I still have to deal with him but generally speaking- my life has turned out much better since the divorce. If I stayed with him, I would have been some where in Philly miserable and pregnant for him while going through everything to see if he was still cheating. I definitely wouldn't have finished my studies as far as I have and would have been working a basic job. Complete opposite of what I have going on now.
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Isn't it amazing how life works out???? I don't want to sound like a total hippie but the universe is a trip when you really sit back and think about it.... the things you THOUGHT you wanted can be exactly what were holding you back from the next level.

If someone had told me how we would've ended up I wouldn't have believed them, at lease not in the beginning anyways. Towards the end yes lol and that's sad because I probably still would've stayed and tried to defy the odds; at times I wish I could go back and hug that girl and tell her "you're going to be better for this".

And how trifling of him! Men really are gross sometimes :nono: they deserve each other.
 
Always~Wear~Joy said:
Hmmm Lol we may know each other :sekret:

Thanks for sharing your experience. You both dodged a bullet forward sure. :) Even though it was super embarrassing for her to cancel the wedding, it's better to have dealt with that instead of constant lies and staying with someone due to convenience.

I just hate how if you google my friend's ex name with the word wedding or girlfriend that her pic is still popping up with him. He's never posted anything about the new girl until the other day. Even his fans were shocked. It's just so weird.
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I've always wondered what that "other woman"is thinking in times like that.... I know most times they think they got a prize but I just don't see how someone with half a lick of sense could play that game with someone. I feel like you're setting yourself up for failure.

I remember after my fiancé and I broke up they used to play games with me on social media...posting memes and subliminals. I acted like neither of them existed but I would always hear about it because we had that same inner circle and that was always weird to me. In the past I may or may not have had a history of poppin off :freakout: :look: and I think he was searching for that validation and assurance that I was hurting and still fiending for him :laugh:

Sorry I know I'm rambling but it's funny to think about all this stuff now.

Your friend will look back on all this stuff and laugh one day, if she isn't already. Sending good vibes her way!!!!
 
rafikichick92 said:
My crush has been trying to set me up with one of our mutual acquaintances. Only thing is the guy is SUPER obnoxious. I'm trying to give him a chance to go beyond his initial presentation, but he just rubs me the wrong way. Too bad Crush thinks he is too young for me. Meanwhile, my personal trainer is trying to set me up with his cousin, and Crush is over here giving me Chick-fil-A calendars for no apparent reason. I love flirting with guys I know, so I just keep chatting up all three of them. My life!
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How much younger is your crush?
 
movingforward13 said:
Same here. My ex husband went through with the wedding and I found out two weeks after we got married that he was cheating. Long story short- we are now divorced, he is still with her and they are engaged. The whole thing was pretty painful but it changed my life tremendously. Unfortunately we have a child together so I still have to deal with him but generally speaking- my life has turned out much better since the divorce. If I stayed with him, I would have been some where in Philly miserable and pregnant for him while going through everything to see if he was still cheating. I definitely wouldn't have finished my studies as far as I have and would have been working a basic job. Complete opposite of what I have going on now.
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2 weeks? Damn. :nono:

I'm glad it all worked out for you, that must have been devastating.
 
MzLady78 said:
2 weeks? Damn. :nono:

I'm glad it all worked out for you, that must have been devastating.
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Very. Not being dramatic when I say this but if it weren't for the people who loved me.... I don't know where I would be. I lost so much weight (on top of what I lost for the wedding) and I couldn't eat, sleep or think. It was literally like someone died and I was in mourning.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
Isn't it amazing how life works out???? I don't want to sound like a total hippie but the universe is a trip when you really sit back and think about it.... the things you THOUGHT you wanted can be exactly what were holding you back from the next level.

And how trifling of him! Men really are gross sometimes :nono: they deserve each other.
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I firmly believe everything happens for a reason. But then I feel like I am Forrest Gump asking "What's my purpose mama," lol. Corny joke- I know.
That direction was "stolen" from me... from you. I think we best show how we recover by moving forward. Best revenge is living life well WITHOUT them.

As for her- well he is marrying up. She is a pediatrician, finishing her second resident year in NY. I partially think he proposed to her to make her move back to Philly when her last year is complete. This same man, after he did what he did, told me he "doesn't view marriage the same."
She is 10 years younger than him- she will learn.

UniquelyDivine said:
I've always wondered what that "other woman"is thinking in times like that.... I know most times they think they got a prize but I just don't see how someone with half a lick of sense could play that game with someone. I feel like you're setting yourself up for failure.

I remember after my fiancé and I broke up they used to play games with me on social media...posting memes and subliminals. I acted like neither of them existed but I would always hear about it...
... I think he was searching for that validation and assurance that I was hurting and still fiending for him :laugh:

Your friend will look back on all this stuff and laugh one day, if she isn't already. Sending good vibes her way!!!!
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A lot of times (in my opinion) they are probably thinking "my stuff is better than hers" or "he left me for her, I must be better" etc. That couldn't be farther than the truth in many cases. For example my ex-husband was asking me if he could spend the night at my house on two separate occasions before he revealed to me that he was engaged. I have gotten "I am sorry" and "I messed up" many times. But I am sure he is telling her that I am Satan's spawn.

Ignoring them and making them feel like they never existed, while living a better life than you had with them is like the ultimate f you. They want to know you are hurting off what they did. They want to know you are still stuck on them.

But I learned a valuable lesson from this. I will never deal with a man (knowingly) who hasn't 100% ended a prior relationship. I will not be a party that helps cause another woman pain.

Edited for typos
 
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movingforward13 said:
I firmly believe everything happens for a reason. But then I feel like I am Forrest Gump asking "What's my purpose mama," lol. Corny joke- I know.
That direction was "stolen" from me... from you. I think we best show how we recover by moving forward. Best revenge is living life well WITHOUT them.
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I think that's a better feeling than the alternative.. lost, hurting and feeling trapped, but I can certainly relate to that feeling! It's hard trying to figure it all out but who says we have to?
 
movingforward13 said:
I firmly believe everything happens for a reason. But then I feel like I am Forrest Gump asking "What's my purpose mama," lol. Corny joke- I know.
That direction was "stolen" from me... from you. I think we best show how we recover by moving forward. Best revenge is living life well WITHOUT them.

As for her- well he is marrying up. She is a pediatrician, finishing her second resident year in NY. I partially think he proposed to her to make her move back to Philly when her last year is complete. This same man, after he did what he did, told me he "doesn't view marriage the same."
She is 10 years younger than him- she will learn.


A lot of times (in my opinion) they are probably thinking "my stuff is better than hers" or "he left me for her, I must be better" etc. That couldn't be farther than the truth in many cases. For example my ex-husband was asking me if he could spend the night at my house on two separate occasions before he revealed her was engaged. I have gotten "I am sorry" and "I messed up" many times. But I am sure he is telling her that I am Satan's spawn.

.
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He is most certainty NOT marrying up, he sought out someone younger and impressionable for a reason. It is easier for them to build anew than it is for them to fix the issues and pain they've caused with us, they will all learn one day. The same things my ex was doing to me he was doing to her, I used to get updates from "friends" all the time when they would see him out with other women and all I could say was "tell her", she didn't know though so those same issues we went though weren't something he had to deal with. He was literally having his cake and eating it too.

You're right! That ego is sooo out of control, I was technically the other woman when I first met him (I was only 19..dont judge me :look:) but I remember how out of control my ego was. I thought it I was the baddest thing walking because he chose me over her but it didn't take long before he was doing the same mess to me so in the end that mess doesn't mean a thing. MDLYWLY really hit it on the head with that, our ego really hinders us. I'm glad I learned that lesson.
 
I swear, life is funny.

The dude that only got one date in before I told him "nah" has text me twice since then just to check on me.

Meanwhile, this MF I foolishly took up with again can't be bothered. I probably won't hear from him again, which is exactly how it needs to be anyway. I basically went off when it became clear that once again, he was trying to have me on the back burner, settling for crumbs. Nope, not this chick, not this time.
 
movingforward13 said:
Very. Not being dramatic when I say this but if it weren't for the people who loved me.... I don't know where I would be. I lost so much weight (on top of what I lost for the wedding) and I couldn't eat, sleep or think. It was literally like someone died and I was in mourning.
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I bet.

I really wish men who have no intention of being faithful would just not get married. I know quite a few, unfortunately, and it baffles me.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
He is most certainty NOT marrying up, he sought out someone younger and impressionable for a reason. It is easier for them to build anew than it is for them to fix the issues and pain they've caused with us, they will all learn one day.

You're right! That ego is sooo out of control, I was technically the other woman when I first met him (I was only 19..dont judge me :look:) but I remember how out of control my ego was. I thought it I was the baddest thing walking because he chose me over her but it didn't take long before he was doing the same mess to me so in the end that mess doesn't mean a thing. MDLYWLY really hit it on the head with that, our ego really hinders us. I'm glad I learned that lesson.
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I meant more like marrying someone who makes money. My ex is all about flash. When he feels horrible, he goes on a spending spree. He needs to show others how well he is doing. Loves outside validation. Unfortunately paying me over a stack a month in child support is hurting his pockets. He has a come up though- ole girl doesn't know what she got herself into- but when they are settled and nice and married.... they will be fighting over money. He has massive student loan debt and I imagine she does as well. He likes the finer things in life so they WILL be spending. More her money than his- he barely makes enough after paying student loans and child support.

Yeah ego is insane. And I know others on here don't believe it but I believe in karma. I dated a married man (unknowingly) when I was 24. I can imagine how much pain I caused that woman. She would call me looking for her husband. Never again. He is married or taken, I don't want him.
 
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movingforward13 said:
I meant more like marrying someone who makes money. My ex is all about flash. When he feels horrible, he goes on a spending spree. He needs to show others how well he is doing. Loves outside validation. Unfortunately paying me over a stack a month in child support is hurting his pockets. He has a come up though- ole girl doesn't know what she got herself into- but when they are settled and nice and married.... they will be fighting over money. He has massive student loan debt and I imagine she does as well. He likes the finer things in live so they WILL be spending. More her money than his- he barely makes enough after paying student loans and child support.

Yeah ego is insane. And I know others on here don't believe it but I believe in karma. I dated a married man (unknowingly) when I was 24. I can imagine how much pain I caused that woman. She would call me looking for her husband. Never again. He is married or taken, I don't want him.
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Is he a Leo? I swear this sounds like my ex :laugh: his wife is a little white girl from a rich family, I'm not sure what the heck he is doing nowadays but I do know that he has a felony on his record from running drugs after we broke up. A black man + a felony is never really a good mix when getting a good job.

I believe in karma as well, simple because I myself have been on the receiving end of it. You will get out what you put in that's why I'm careful to navigate through the world in a kind manner if I can. Exactly, I'm too selfish to share my man with anyone anyways so based off that alone I can't do it.
 
movingforward13 said:
Yessssss *high five*

Sad thing though- I have heard males say "I am getting tired of women who think they are the prize, I need to be won over too..."
I don't know where these "special" men come from. Maybe after they get a few more blocks- they will see they aren't the prize.
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If we as women worldwide all stuck to our guns and recognize we are the prize, these punk a$$ men would see the light and change their behavior after being single for months/years when they see they aren't the prize.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
Is he a Leo? I swear this sounds like my ex :laugh: his wife is a little white girl from a rich family
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Lmao Taurus.
Taurus men love the comforts of wealth. Usually they work for it themselves but my ex had an Aries mother and he was her ONLY son. So, due to her spoiling, he never got the hard working traits of the Taurus. If anything, he picked up her reckless spending habits.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
How much younger is your crush?
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Almost 7 years. I'm usually attracted to older guys and he looks and acts several years older than he is. I didn't find out how old he actually was until I had known him for several months. Unfortunately, we are at different stages in our lives, so it probably will never happen for us, but a girl can dream. While dating other guys, of course.
 
How funny is it that I just came into this thread complaining about not finding anyone I like and I bump into a new potential. So I'm at Eataly and I'm eyeing the fresh crab meat but taking my time picking one. I finally decide on one and here comes some fool out of nowhere and snatches up the one I want. So I turn around and tap him and say umm can I have that one please and you take another. He laughs and then says anything for a pretty lady. I just took my crab and walk away. Then he followed me to the cheese section and said he couldn't let me get away without giving me his number and it was up to me whether or not I called but he had to try. We chatted for a bit. He is not very good looking but he seems sweet and umm yeah he seems like the type to spoil so I might give it a go. I'll decide by the end of the week.
 
rafikichick92 said:
Almost 7 years. I'm usually attracted to older guys and he looks and acts several years older than he is. I didn't find out how old he actually was until I had known him for several months. Unfortunately, we are at different stages in our lives, so it probably will never happen for us, but a girl can dream. While dating other guys, of course.
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And aren't you like 24?
 
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