*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

NinasLongAmbition said:
Joined match yesterday, this can't be life. I have to do something about this single life
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wait, you don't like match????

I love it soo much!!! It's so much fun!

I feel like OKCupid is a gamble on quality but I've found match to be a sure thing on quality. I thought this the first time I briefly joined over a year ago and now that I've reactivated. I'm really impressed with the selection. My first date last year was kinda like a somewhat famous attorney who was fine as hell. This time around I've met some interesting good ones across the gamut including everything from real estate bigwig, some kinda respiratory doctor, a physiology/biology scientist, a whole lotttttttt of engineers and tech guys. And I'm pretty sure one guy in particular is a movie director.

Match is like you get what you pay for :yep:
 
barbiesocialite said:
wait, you don't like match????

I love it soo much!!! It's so much fun!

I feel like OKCupid is a gamble on quality but I've found match to be a sure thing on quality. I thought this the first time I briefly joined over a year ago and now that I've reactivated. I'm really impressed with the selection. My first date last year was kinda like a somewhat famous attorney who was fine as hell. This time around I've met some interesting good ones across the gamut including everything from real estate bigwig, some kinda respiratory doctor, a physiology/biology scientist, a whole lotttttttt of engineers and tech guys. And I'm pretty sure one guy in particular is a movie director.

Match is like you get what you pay for :yep:
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Nonono, I love match, definitely high quality men on there. I'm saying 'this can't be life' to my current situation being single and lonely sucks! I have a date lined up for tomorrow. I hope 2017 is the year of love for me
 
I joined Match and eHarmony in the 4th quarter of 2016. I miss having someone do things with; not looking for a long-term relationship or a bed buddy. My profile was very detailed about my desire to be "courted" and not have a pen pal or a fatty. I want someone local and someone that if there was a match, we could run /workout together. He would be fit and we could dine out with a focus on healthy eating.

The fatties ignored that as did those who lived in other states. Of those who WERE local,the first few connections yielded a black guy in his 60s who wanted to Netflix and chill; another black guy in his 50s with only half his teeth; and an overly nice white guy who was so needy I had to block him because he always wanted a response almost instantly.

I want to date, but I feel like the dating pool is lacking where I live based on my age. Lots of white guys are online I've noticed. eHarmony continues to match me with white guys. There has to be a way to trick the analytics. LOL

When I get ready for a real relationship, I want a Barack. But it doesn't seem like he's going to be online; I'll meet him while I'm out and about or because someone introduced us.

This is my first post in this thread and unfortunately, it's more of a "woe is me" post.

Here's to us all attaching ourselves to the right ones for us in 2017.
 
barbiesocialite said:
If you guys had to guess. what percentage of messages do you actually respond to? 40%

How long do you take to respond on average? 2 days

do you actually have the chance to respond to everyone youre interested in as fast as youd like? nope.

And lastly do you ever initiate sending him a message first? i did once, but only for playful banter about a common interest.
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theres nothing wrong with filtering out young men. I meet plenty of young men IRL, online dating gives me my best audience for older guys.
when i was on POF and using Tinder.. i looked at occupation and if they had a college degree. Tinder was filtered 29+
 
NinasLongAmbition said:
Nonono, I love match, definitely high quality men on there. I'm saying 'this can't be life' to my current situation being single and lonely sucks! I have a date lined up for tomorrow. I hope 2017 is the year of love for me
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awwww I dont doubt youll find a guy in no time. :bighug:

It seems like most people that do online dating are looking for genuine companionship like you. which kinda makes me feel bad for being annoyed when they try to suck up all my time by wanting to see and talk to me all the time. in 2017, I think my goal should be to work on that :look:
 
At peace. And it's kinda scary.. like I never wanted to get to a point where I would be indifferent about men but that's exactly where I am. I just don't care anymore.
I am so cut throat these days. My favorite word is "nah". Favorite saying is "oh aight." I don't see any need in having one around. Like I give zero f***s. And instead of being sad, it's like a weight has lifted from my chest. Not my shoulders, but my chest..it was that heavy.
I go out every week, I'm traveling, I'm social. No unnecessary man related stress. The next man (if there is one) will have to enhance what I already got going on. Not take away from it.
 
SuchMagnificance said:
At peace. And it's kinda scary.. like I never wanted to get to a point where I would be indifferent about men but that's exactly where I am. I just don't care anymore.
I am so cut throat these days. My favorite word is "nah". Favorite saying is "oh aight." I don't see any need in having one around. Like I give zero f***s. And instead of being sad, it's like a weight has lifted from my chest. Not my shoulders, but my chest..it was that heavy.
I go out every week, I'm traveling, I'm social. No unnecessary man related stress. The next man (if there is one) will have to enhance what I already got going on. Not take away from it.
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All this all day everyday. Ithe would be nice to meet my forever husband but... whatever. There's so much going on right now and the focus is heavily my family and wealth building.
 
SuchMagnificance said:
At peace. And it's kinda scary.. like I never wanted to get to a point where I would be indifferent about men but that's exactly where I am. I just don't care anymore.
I am so cut throat these days. My favorite word is "nah". Favorite saying is "oh aight." I don't see any need in having one around. Like I give zero f***s. And instead of being sad, it's like a weight has lifted from my chest. Not my shoulders, but my chest..it was that heavy.
I go out every week, I'm traveling, I'm social. No unnecessary man related stress. The next man (if there is one) will have to enhance what I already got going on. Not take away from it.
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:yep:

Dude from my date is already acting a little flaky and I'm like "ninja, you just don't know". I'm out of fuggs to give and will block you and keep it moving in a heartbeat. I have things I want to accomplish this year and I'm not here for anything or anything one that is going to be a negative distraction.
 
SuchMagnificance said:
At peace. And it's kinda scary.. like I never wanted to get to a point where I would be indifferent about men but that's exactly where I am. I just don't care anymore.
I am so cut throat these days. My favorite word is "nah". Favorite saying is "oh aight." I don't see any need in having one around. Like I give zero f***s. And instead of being sad, it's like a weight has lifted from my chest. Not my shoulders, but my chest..it was that heavy.
I go out every week, I'm traveling, I'm social. No unnecessary man related stress. The next man (if there is one) will have to enhance what I already got going on. Not take away from it.
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Let the church say AMEN!!
 
You guys want to hear something crazy?

So I've been talking to this white military scientist guy. He'said actually Puerto Rican and White but looks lily white.

Anyway, he said that he regularly gets crazy messages from white women asking him why his race doesn't say white and if he's ashamed to be white.

What the hell?!

:huh:

Btw: it says he's both white nd latino
 
deediamante said:
I now feel like that unicorn you ladies speak of. I have read about it but didn't think it would happened to me. :lachen:

He paid for and filled up my gas tank when we were out and about last night!! :toocool:
He is saying and doing ALL the right things. Putting MDLWLY to practice helped with the vetting process over the past 3 months and he passed all the tests. I will probably be hanging up my bachelorette/ho card shortly. :giggle:
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DarkJoy said:
so... give us the deets with examples of what tests you put to him.

and congrats !
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No specific tests but more so me sitting back, observing his behavior and asking tough questions. And it was me more so trying to follow the ways of MDLWLY (ie. first Spartaning up, then progressing through the dating steps) to keep the train on the track. :spinning: And he didn't seem fazed and he was patient cuz I was moving mighty slow even for my fast standards.:lachen: He is consistent. He is all about making me happy and says so all the time. He follows through with plans or things he says (something I wasn't used to AT ALL). He pays for everything and doesn't seem bothered when the bill is crazy high (I peeked at one bill once and it was almost $200 :eek:). And he says I am spoiling him when I feel like I ain't doing a darn thing beside gracing him with my presence. :)

I had planned a bday trip (booked in Sept, bday is in Jan) before we met which was SUPPOSED to be my yearly solo trip. But after we started hanging out in October, in November I mentioned it to him in passing as a invite but didn't think much of it. Next thing I know he bought a flight ticket :shocked: and ish got real. December is when things took off and we just had "the talk" a couple of weeks and my ho card is put on ice :lachen:.
 
Yall I just got a calendar invite in order to set up a date.

This guy asked me if I "wanna meet up" every day this weekend and I don't believe in last minute dates, plus I had other plans so I declined. Today he asks again do I wanna meet up and I countered with a day that works for me and asked what he has in mind. This negro sent me a calendar invite.

I'm about to ghost on this dude. He is clearly not the one for me.
 
Miss_C said:
Yall I just got a calendar invite in order to set up a date.

This guy asked me if I "wanna meet up" every day this weekend and I don't believe in last minute dates, plus I had other plans so I declined. Today he asks again do I wanna meet up and I countered with a day that works for me and asked what he has in mind. This negro sent me a calendar invite.

I'm about to ghost on this dude. He is clearly not the one for me.
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Girl. Goodbye. This sounds just like something that would happen to me.

I promise I'm not laughing at you. :drunk:
 
So, you've text me first every day since we met with no problem.

We go out and now it's "you can't use your fingers?" Not once, but twice. What friggin' difference does it make who hits who first? And why is it an issue all of the sudden?

I really don't have the patience right now.
 
I think NASA guy can tell I am not interested. The texts have dwindled since we met Saturday. He said he would like to see me again so to let him know when I am free.
I am sure he is a great guy but I am NOT attracted to him.

Lee's father died this weekend. People change when a death hits the family. Now both his mother and father are gone, so I know he feels very alone. Especially since he was taking care of his dad. I feel sad and helpless that I can't do anything to make him feel better. So I told him I was there for him if he needed me and left him alone. That sounds so callous, but he is the type that likes to be left alone when something major is going on or he needs to work through his feelings. He works through it and eventually shows back up later. And I just feel weird about it all. I need some time to process it myself. I never had anyone die around me so I don't know the "right" thing to do.

Started my first week of work last week so I am keeping myself busy by going over my budget and tweaking it. Sacrifices now means I can play later.... After I obliterate this debt, I think it is time for a birthday trip to somebody's country.
 
Miss_C said:
Yall I just got a calendar invite in order to set up a date.

This guy asked me if I "wanna meet up" every day this weekend and I don't believe in last minute dates, plus I had other plans so I declined. Today he asks again do I wanna meet up and I countered with a day that works for me and asked what he has in mind. This negro sent me a calendar invite.

I'm about to ghost on this dude. He is clearly not the one for me.
Click to expand...

I actually like this. :lachen:
I tell everyone to send me a calendar invite.
 
Miss_C said:
Girl I couldn't believe it. Im new in this city and giving online dating an honest try but I am used to proper dating, not whatever bs he is trying to pull. I have never in all my years chile. This is ridiculous:lachen:
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Lol, I live by calendar invites right now! At least meet up with him in person. Trust me, I understand the frustration when dating disappointments are compounded, but I wouldn't disregard him over this one thing. Now if there are other issues, I understand
 
OneShinyface said:
I joined Match and eHarmony in the 4th quarter of 2016. I miss having someone do things with; not looking for a long-term relationship or a bed buddy. My profile was very detailed about my desire to be "courted" and not have a pen pal or a fatty. I want someone local and someone that if there was a match, we could run /workout together. He would be fit and we could dine out with a focus on healthy eating.

The fatties ignored that as did those who lived in other states. Of those who WERE local,the first few connections yielded a black guy in his 60s who wanted to Netflix and chill; another black guy in his 50s with only half his teeth; and an overly nice white guy who was so needy I had to block him because he always wanted a response almost instantly.

I want to date, but I feel like the dating pool is lacking where I live based on my age. Lots of white guys are online I've noticed. eHarmony continues to match me with white guys. There has to be a way to trick the analytics. LOL

When I get ready for a real relationship, I want a Barack. But it doesn't seem like he's going to be online; I'll meet him while I'm out and about or because someone introduced us.

This is my first post in this thread and unfortunately, it's more of a "woe is me" post.

Here's to us all attaching ourselves to the right ones for us in 2017.
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I'm with you. I didn't get any good matches for black men on Match.

I didn't renew my subscription. I check my matches every now and then. I see someone has messaged me but not sure if I'm gonna re-up so that I can see the message, in case it's another disappointment.
 
sgold04 said:
Lol, I live by calendar invites right now! At least meet up with him in person. Trust me, I understand the frustration when dating disappointments are compounded, but I wouldn't disregard him over this one thing. Now if there are other issues, I understand
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Girl I do too but if the bar on romance is set this low before we even meet I can't even imagine how low it will go in the future. I want to be married at least 10 years before we bust out the calendar invites :abducted: I told him I didn't think we saw eye to eye on relationships and faded to black.
 
Miss_C said:
Girl I do too but if the bar on romance is set this low before we even meet I can't even imagine how low it will go in the future. I want to be married at least 10 years before we bust out the calendar invites :abducted: I told him I didn't think we saw eye to eye on relationships and faded to black.
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Right! I actually have a physical planner. I enjoy organizing and scheduling things...unless it's romance. Is he gonna schedule sex too?! o_O

Me and you are right >>>here<<< on this.
 
LovinLea said:
A guy who "set his sights on me" talks to me and offended the :censored: out of me.

First he makes me sit there and listen to him talk about all he does to be a deadbeat father. He's talking about how women just have a baby to collect a check. I said so how long were y'all together? He said four years and that she's a nurse practitioner. You dumb idiot, that's not what a women does when she just has a baby to collect a check. This guy quotes dead beat loser 50 CENT. I told him 50's son hates him.

He pissed me off. She is always calling asking him for money and don't you wanna see your son. He's like no I'm focusing on me right now. He put all of his money in his business account and did something to make it look like he only makes $150 a week so she can't collect real child support. Then talks about some $60K watch that he's about to buy. He also buys the child expensive clothes and toys, not to make his child happy, but so that his son prefers his home to hers. He said he wants the child hate being with his mother because all of the good stuff will be at his house. He's about to franchise his business ($$$) and he wants to collect child support from her.

HERE is where I really get pissed off: After going on and on about her for 2 hours, he asks me about my baby father. I tell him I don't talk to him. He then says You need to get off that petty ***. What are you going to do...sit around and have 10 babies?

I'm so tired of every man, even men who are nowhere near to be dating prospects, nosing into my business with my daughter's father. I will not be answering any more questions about that.
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Ugh what a disgusting individual. Somebody needs to trick on him :look:
 
Miss_C said:
Girl I do too but if the bar on romance is set this low before we even meet I can't even imagine how low it will go in the future. I want to be married at least 10 years before we bust out the calendar invites :abducted: I told him I didn't think we saw eye to eye on relationships and faded to black.
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He wants to make sure you don't forget because he's so excited to see you :)

I kid. I'm just trying to be positive :drunk:
 
KiSseS03 said:
I am slowly building a roster à la Spartan! I have 2 first dates this weekend and one second meet-up with a guy that I've gone out with before (this meet-up does not qualify as a date in my book- so he'll still owe me a date after this!).

Date 1: Finance guy, he's in incredible shape, dresses amazingly, and via text seems very polite and respectful. I honestly don't know that much about him yet. We're going for drinks and appetizers tonight.

Date 2: "Woke" Law Student - this guy is a wildcard. I don't find him super attractive BUT he is so on my wavelength with regards to Black Lives Matter, music, social activism, the challenges of living in a pre-dom white area as a young and woke Black person. I feel like at the very least we'll have a great conversation. We're going for a coffee date after my exam tomorrow.

Date 3: On Sunday Engineering Student and I are going to meet up and do homework together. To me, this does not qualify as a date. Unfortunately my date card was full by the time that he asked so this is all that I have time for-- gotta get this degree. I still want to see him though so I agreed to a study "date"-- thus far he's the guy that I'm most interested in and I'm really excited to see him again.
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Ok updates on this.

Friday: Great date with Finance guy. He's not as tall in person as I expected but still had a little height on me even with my heels on. He sent me a really sweet message saying that "I really left an impression on him." He also told me I looked more beautiful in person which earned him some points lol! We're going out for dinner next week for steak... he's definitely a "meat" man. The first date place was my pick; a hipster spot in my neighborhood, I don't think he cared for the food but he obliged me haha! I'm not sure if there are sparks here but he's definitely worth seeing again because I had a good time.

Saturday: Went out to a wine bar with the law student because the coffee place was closed. I ended up being late because I'd had an exam earlier that day and took a nap... I realistically need a minimum of 75 minutes to get ready, so yeah I was late. He was seated when I got there and in the dimly lit room I found him more attractive than his pictures. We had a really great conversation, he made me laugh a lot, and I felt "charming" hah! We talked about some deeper political stuff but for the most part kept it really light and fun. So downside, at the end of the date when he stood up I realized that physically he just doesn't do it for me. I think he'd be cool to have as a friend if he's into it, but we'll see. If he asks me out again I'd probably go just to confirm that the physical attraction is/isn't there.

Sunday: Engineering student was hungover so we re-scheduled our second date. I was honestly incredibly annoyed with him for this. He apologized profusely but still this is red flag for me and major points were lost. We now have plans for an active date this Saturday, but this information has been added to his file :giggle:.

I have to say this whole vetting process is making me feel very powerful. My nerves before my dates are basically non-existent. I'm going in treating them like an interview. I'm still my fun, silly, girly self but I have this new inner dating confidence that I love and I think men are really drawn too.
 
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KiSseS03 said:
Ok updates on this.

Friday: Great date with Finance guy. He's not as tall in person as I expected but still had a little height on me even with my heels on. He sent me a really sweet message saying that "I really left an impression on him." He also told me I looked more beautiful in person which earned him some points lol! We're going out for dinner next week for steak... he's definitely a "meat" man. The first date place was my pic; a hipster spot in my neighborhood, I don't think he cared for the food but he obliged me haha! I'm not sure if there are sparks here but he's definitely worth seeing again because I had a good time.

Saturday: Went out to a wine bar with the law student because the coffee place was closed. I ended up being late because I'd had an exam earlier that date and took a nap... I realistically need a minimum of 75 minutes to get ready, so yeah I was late. He was seated when I got there and in the dimly lit room I found him more attractive than his pictures. We had a really great conversation, he made me laugh a lot, and I felt "charming" hah! We talked about some deeper political stuff but for the most part kept it really light and fun. So downside, at the end of the date when he stood up I realized that physically he just doesn't do it for me. I think he'd be cool to have as a friend if he's into it, but we'll see. If he asks me out again I'd probably go just to confirm that the physical attraction is/isn't there.

Sunday: Engineering student was hungover so we re-scheduled our second date. I was honestly incredibly annoyed with him for this. He apologized profusely but still this is red flag for me and major points were lost. We now have plans for an active date this Saturday, but this information has been added to his file :giggle:.

I have to say this whole vetting process is making me feel very powerful. My nerves before my dates are basically non-existent. I'm going in treating them like an interview. I'm still my fun, silly, girly self but I have this new inner dating confidence that I love and I think men are really drawn too.
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What is your vetting process? I'm trying to get a better feel for this after reading MDLWLY.
 
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