*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

MzLady78 said:
Not relationship related, but I ended a 19 year long friendship this past weekend. I found out this person was hiding something from me, sat up in my face multiple times keeping this secret like it was nothing. Then when confronted told me I was overreacting. That is the part that really sent me over the edge and caused me to hang up on him and block his number. It's bad enough you were dead wrong, but then to try to dismiss my feelings about it? Nah, homie. I will never look at him the same, never trust him again, so therefore, he doesn't need to be in my life. I'm so hurt, disappointed and flat out pissed off. I'm done accepting treatment that's sub par to what I give out and tired of having my kindness mistaken for weakness. I hate that this person had to be the first casualty of 2017, but I'll live.
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So this gets even worse.

The secret he was hiding from me here pales in comparison to what I found out this week.

This ninja is married and had 2 more kids. He never told me any of this. I knew he was living with someone, but had no idea they'd ever gotten married. I actually asked him about this one day and he straight up lied to me and said he wasn't. I had no inkling about the kids.

When I asked him why, he said it was the risk he took to keep my friendship. Which makes no sense. The year he had his 2nd kid I was either with my ex or we had just broken up. The year he got married, I was in love with that last dude I was seeing. So why would him getting married and having more kids have ruined our friendship?

I am devastated and heartbroken. This was the one person that constant in my life, through all the other guys, and all the the BS. 19 years down the drain and for what? I know it's usually romantic losses that usually give you pause about trusting/letting people in, but IDK. I may never be the same after this.
 
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whosthatcurl said:
@MzLady78 Man that's terrible. And that's weird he would hide his marriage and two kids from you. Maybe he thought he had a chance?
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He was my ex bf. We did have periods right after we broke up where one of us wanted to try again but the other didn't. But we were way past all that by the time he had his 2nd child.

I'm so stunned, I can't even cry. Like, it hasn't even sunk in that we will likely never speak to each other again. We've never gone more than a few months without being in touch.
 
MzLady78 said:
So this gets even worse.

The secret he was hiding from me here pales in comparison to what I found out this week.

This ninja is married and had 2 more kids. He never told me any of this. I knew he was living with someone, but had no idea they'd ever gotten married. I actually asked him about this one day and he straight up lied to me and said he wasn't. I had no inkling about the kids.

When I asked him why, he said it was the risk he took to keep my friendship. Which makes no sense. They year he had his 2nd kid I was either with my ex or we had just broken up. They year he got married, I was in love with that last dude I was seeing. So why him getting married and having more kids have ruined our friendship?

I am devastated and heartbroken. This was the one person that constant in my life, through all the other guys, and all the the BS. 19 years down the drain and for what? I know it's usually romantic losses that usually give you pause about trusting/letting people in, but IDK. I may never be the same after this.
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Wow! I'm really sorry :( how did you even find out?
 
qchelle said:
Wow! I'm really sorry :( how did you even find out?
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I was having a convo about him with a mutual friend. They referred to his SO as his wife. So I'm like "wait, he's married?" They were like "yeah, with kids". I was only aware of his oldest daughter, he has 2 girls and a boy.

A quick FB search confirmed it. A pic on his page is her profile pic. Right there in black and white, same last name.
 
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MzLady78 said:
I was having a convo about him with a mutual friend. They referred to his SO as his wife. So I'm like "wait, he's married?" They were like "yeah, with kids". I was only aware of his oldest daughter, he has 2 girls and boys.

A quick FB search confirmed it. A pic on his page is her profile pic. Right there in black and white, same last name.
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Sorry to hear this. :bighug:
 
DarkJoy said:
ugh @MzLady78 there was no good reason for this fool to lie about that. none. its an insult to both you and his wife and kids!

from experience, sometimes the loss of a friend hurts as much or more than a lover. so I get it.

so sorry. feel free to vent here with your LHCF sisters!
:bighug:
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Thanks. I appreciate it.
 
MzLady78 said:
I was having a convo about him with a mutual friend. They referred to his SO as his wife. So I'm like "wait, he's married?" They were like "yeah, with kids". I was only aware of his oldest daughter, he has 2 girls and boys.

A quick FB search confirmed it. A pic on his page is her profile pic. Right there in black and white, same last name.
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This happened to a friend of mine. I'm sorry that happened to you sis. Take the time you need to heal.
 
crlsweetie912 said:
Dang....ninja lying for no reason. I'm so sorry sis. The only think I can think of is that he wanted to keep you in his back pocket in case it didn't work out. But 2 kids????????
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When I say I had ZERO clue he has other kids, I mean ZERO. Who TF does that?

silverbuttons said:
This happened to a friend of mine. I'm sorry that happened to you sis. Take the time you need to heal.
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SMH.

Thanks, I appreciate it.
 
crlsweetie912 said:
Dang....ninja lying for no reason. I'm so sorry sis. The only think I can think of is that he wanted to keep you in his back pocket in case it didn't work out. But 2 kids????????
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Yep, I agree. I found out a male friend had two kids and I was surprised, I asked him about them and he became defensive talking about he didn't have to tell me everything about his life. You don't have to tell me everything, but most people usually share with friends that they have kids...But he saw me as a romantic interest and felt hiding his children would increase his chances o_O How can I respect a man like that?
 
UniquelyDivine said:
I'm really really annoyed right now & trying to decide if I'm overreacting or not, but my best friend just sent me a text telling me how my ex just posted a picture of his brand-new baby, and how time flies, and how his whole goal was to get somebody barefoot and pregnant yada yada yada.


Now granted, we didn't end on a bad note, but I have no desire to get updates on his life. If it weren't for her telling me that I would have no idea what that man was doing. I don't care about him nor do I want him but that's not necessarily something I want to hear either, she did the first thing when he had his first kid too and I had to tell her I didn't care, so I'm really confused as to why she did it again
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I never understood why so called friends feel the need to take subliminal jabs like that. I remember I had a friend who after knowing how devastating my relationship was with this psycho, she called me to say how nice his engagement pictures were and how his fiancé has lighter skin than me. I was like WTF? Then I realized that it's because I was on the up & up and truly happy to be rid of that relationship, while she liked me more when I was miserable. She could only be my friend when things were going bad but as soon as I was my usual carefree self, she couldn't bare to be around me.
 
Browndilocks said:
I never understood why so called friends feel the need to take subliminal jabs like that. I remember I had a friend who after knowing how devastating my relationship was with this psycho, she called me to say how nice his engagement pictures were and how his fiancé has lighter skin than me. I was like WTF? Then I realized that it's because I was on the up & up and truly happy to be rid of that relationship, while she liked me more when I was miserable. She could only be my friend when things were going bad but as soon as I was my usual carefree self, she couldn't bare to be around me.
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I think you hit the nail on the head! Misery loves company, it's sad to admit that though but what other explanation is there?
 
sgold04 said:
What do you mean? I've had men fly me into their respective cities for dates, and I've been out of town and either met someone there and went on a date, or had a date planned before I got there as part of my itinerary.
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You answered correctly.

I have a date in Philly on Tuesday. He's flying me in to go to some 3 star Michelin restaurant.

And some guy wants me to fly to Indianapolis in the beginNing of February.
 
I requested some money for a Brazilian, got the money, still ain't got the Brazilian lol. I meant to do it this weekend, but it snowed. I may just buy some clothes or something :lol: He hasn't said anything about the non-Brazilian, soooo guess he doesn't care :look: lol

I'm thinking about working hard this year to put myself in a position to work for myself in 2018. I like my job, but I am not cut out for this 'having a boss' life. I've always really liked all of my jobs, but it's always that same thing. I should just accept it soon and start making changes.
 
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