*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

DarkJoy said:
OTN, 2016 WAS a year of losers. i just kept attracting them: underemployed to unemployed to straight bum in my eyes. Black and white. The irony is in 2016 I became debt free and got a huge bump up in pay. This has been a phenomenal year careerwise, but the men's were polar opposite. geez *sucks teef*
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This will be me next year.
I am convinced- guys out here aren't as motivated as us women.
 
movingforward13 said:
This will be me next year.
I am convinced- guys out here aren't as motivated as us women.
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idk what it is. that thread in OT about the 9 mil unemployed men got me hot! it's all I been seeing! these 40 somethings that are both single and married seem to be really unmotivated. just shiftless. the single ones just be fckboys. it's gonna be a real push for me to find someone worthy to share my hardwork with (and vice versa). it's ridic.

ETA. I aint even touched the marrying down thread in OT. :pullhair:
 
I just got someone upset with me about their ex. Long story short, she's a friend of a friend & I don't know her well. I met her at a happy hour and there were about 6 of us kickin it. My friend told this girl about a brunch party that I was going to throw at my place this month and invited her. I was hospitalized and I'm still recovering so I had to cancel the party. The girl called me to see how I've been doing. Our convo quickly turned into how sad she is because her cheating bf cheated again and she's going to be alone on Christmas.

After we got off the phone she started sending me these long texts about how even though he hurt her, she's like a therapist to him and she's handling it the way God is telling her spirit to handle it. :rolleyes:

So I text back and told her that God is nowhere in that because yall aint married and he's fornicating behind your back anyway. The only thing God is allowing right now is for you to start off 2017 with a clean slate. Then I said if you've been with him for 7 years and he hasn't married you, he's not going to marry you. She argued that he wanted to get married this last time. Then I said he will leave you and probably marry someone else within 3 months cause he hasn't married you in 7 years. And he needs to go somewhere else and buy some daggone therapy.

Then she text me back saying "CORRECTION - I have only been with him for 5 1/2 years. You're young anyway and you act like you haven't been through anything. He's not scum and I am a great woman."

This woman is 50 years old.
 
DarkJoy said:
idk what it is. that thread in OT about the 9 mil unemployed men got me hot! it's all I been seeing! these 40 somethings that are both single and married seem to be really unmotivated. just shiftless. the single ones just be fckboys. it's gonna be a real push for me to find someone worthy to share my hardwork with (and vice versa). it's ridic.

ETA. I aint even touched the marrying down thread in OT. :pullhair:
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I need to venture to that thread. I agree with this. I have no idea what it is. It is like they get to a certain point and then it is like - OK I am good now.
Honestly- it could just be my circle too- most people I know are from work and the guys here--- they don't care now that they have a Government job.
I really need to start networking in DC and applying for memberships with places like NABA. I just haven't gotten around to it. I will though - 2017 I am doing something different. I want to have some people lined up in case Lee and I don't make it.
 
Ill be 26 next month and one of my biggest gripes with the forum is that the older crowd refuses to accept that careers are not as easy to come by as when they were younger. I have classmates that have very employable degrees but still had to do 2-3 rounds of internships with great companies to even get a full time job! So yes, you will have grown adults who range from still at home broke to not having much money at all. That is not the same as a 24 year old who hasnt even started school yet but is like "I got a master plan"
 
SuchaLady said:
Ill be 26 next month and one of my biggest gripes with the forum is that the older crowd refuses to accept that careers are not as easy to come by as when they were younger. I have classmates that have very employable degrees but still had to do 2-3 rounds of internships with great companies to even get a full time job! So yes, you will have grown adults who range from still at home broke to not having much money at all. That is not the same as a 24 year old who hasnt even started school yet but is like "I got a master plan"
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I'm 26 years old and while I totally agree - I'm still not dating those ninjas. 'Cause ya see the way my life set up... :laugh:

OAN: I've realized for a long time the reason I'm single is I choose to be single. I close myself off to good relationships and good men. I don't like feeling vulnerable, I push people away, and let's face it I'll say whatever.

I have to be more open and willing to give things a chance.....in 2017 cause ain't nobody got time for this in 2016.

I still ain't kissed dude yet. I'm not usually one to kiss and tell, but I'm going to have to report back on this one. I feel like if it's good though I may lose myself so I'm putting it off. Don't have time to be caught up over no man....in 2016.

Not enough days left in this year.
 
princess_z said:
I'm 26 years old and while I totally agree - I'm still not dating those ninjas. 'Cause ya see the way my life set up... :laugh:
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At this point, I dont really socialize with people still in school either because Ive been out from undergrad long enough so it doesnt happen often. My graduate school peers were either older than me or working already while going to school but I do think 23 is too young to be cutting people off because they are in college. Like are most 23 year olds not still in college? What am I missing?
 
SuchaLady said:
Ill be 26 next month and one of my biggest gripes with the forum is that the older crowd refuses to accept that careers are not as easy to come by as when they were younger. I have classmates that have very employable degrees but still had to do 2-3 rounds of internships with great companies to even get a full time job! So yes, you will have grown adults who range from still at home broke to not having much money at all. That is not the same as a 24 year old who hasnt even started school yet but is like "I got a master plan"
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I have no comment on this as I'm dating the 40s to early 50s crowd. a man old enough to be your parent better goddamn well have their **** together. I'm going to be ruthless on this one.

if i can be married 20 years, divorced and dragging a kid around and came out 5x BETTER afterwards? Barring disabilites, multiple deaths, etc a man that could have millennial aged kids better be doing something. shoot. **** these broke they whole life men. I am so through!!!!!
 
toaster said:
@silverbuttons what did he do before grad school? What kind of program is it? What are his employment options afterward? How much debt is he incurring?

Dating someone getting his MBA from Wharton is different than someone getting a PhD in English from a Blank State Valley University.
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Lol.

He's not incurring any debt.. PhD in international relations. Before that he had a congressional aide job. From his resume and connections.. the odds of him getting a great position is high.

But that's a lot of years to struggle through. :cry3:
 
SuchaLady said:
At this point, I dont really socialize with people still in school either because Ive been out from undergrad long enough so it doesnt happen often. My graduate school peers were either older than me or working already while going to school but I do think 23 is too young to be cutting people off because they are in college. Like are most 23 year olds not still in college? What am I missing?
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I guess it depends where you are at 23. I was more lenient at 23 than I am now. But I really wasn't taking things seriously at 23. Like I wasn't going to marry any of those ninjas. I don't even think I was in a relationship with anyone at that time. I was just living life.

BUT I was pretty firm on the you had to have a car, your own place, and money thing. Where I live public transit isn't a reliable way of getting around and I'm not about to be picking you up / dropping you off for these dates or to hook up so that's a no go.

There's uber now, but I still couldn't see dating someone who didn't have a car. Car, place, money have always been my basics..
 
SuchaLady said:
Ill be 26 next month and one of my biggest gripes with the forum is that the older crowd refuses to accept that careers are not as easy to come by as when they were younger. I have classmates that have very employable degrees but still had to do 2-3 rounds of internships with great companies to even get a full time job! So yes, you will have grown adults who range from still at home broke to not having much money at all. That is not the same as a 24 year old who hasnt even started school yet but is like "I got a master plan"
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So I agree with this- and I understand. But at 32+, guys I date should be settled. If they aren't, that just means they weren't handling business when they were 25. (Men I am dating are in the 33- 39 range).

ETA: I saw the age thing after I made this comment so I think we all agree more or less.
DarkJoy said:
I have no comment on this as I'm dating the 40s to early 50s crowd. a man old enough to be your parent better goddamn well have their **** together. I'm going to be ruthless on this one.

if i can be married 20 years, divorced and dragging a kid around and came out 5x BETTER afterwards? Barring disabilites, multiple deaths, etc a man that could have millennial aged kids better be doing something. shoot. **** these broke they whole life men. I am so through!!!!!
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My thoughts
 
Since 19 I've been dating old men. The worst part is that I'm in grad school too.. :lachen::lachen:

I know I should be more lenient, but I would be lying if I said I wouldn't miss the little things. Like a nice steak instead of Moe's burrito bowls.

SuchaLady said:
At this point, I dont really socialize with people still in school either because Ive been out from undergrad long enough so it doesnt happen often. My graduate school peers were either older than me or working already while going to school but I do think 23 is too young to be cutting people off because they are in college. Like are most 23 year olds not still in college? What am I missing?
Click to expand...
 
silverbuttons said:
Since 19 I've been dating old men. The worst part is that I'm in grad school too.. :lachen::lachen:

I know I should be more lenient, but I would be lying if I said I wouldn't miss the little things. Like a nice steak instead of Moe's burrito bowls.
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I remember once when I was 21 I went out to dinner with this dude and when the check came this bunk waiter put it sort of between the two of us (like he couldn't tell we was on a date).

So I slide it over to dude cause who not about to pay for dinner is me and he says, "I don't have any money."

I have NEVER laughed so hard in my life. I laughed until I cried. I almost fell out my chair laughing cause I'm thinking who df this ninja think I am? I didn't even bring my wallet in this place with me because why? I'm on a date with his black behind.

I was smooth about to excuse myself to freshen up and walk straight out and never talk to his behind again when he finally pulls out a bill.

I don't care how old or young I am if you can't buy me dinner it's just not going to work and ion go to cheap places.
 
I just got asked out by a guy that has serious potential. He's in his final year of medicine, Black, well-spoken, attractive and he wasted no time asking me out on a date - I like that. He's older than my usual, but that may be a good thing- I need to stop with the Tenderonis lol! I'm travelling at the moment but told him he could take me on a date when I get back next week. I'm really looking forward to it.
 
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So, I think my supervisor is cute no big thing I'd never push up on him, plus I found out he likes other (non-black) women. Today was our Christmas party we went bowling and of course alcohol was involved. Another supervisor was totally drunk like throwing up in a trash can & sleeping sitting up drunk. But before he got that drunk he was inappropriate with a few girls grabbing their butts & he even tried to kiss me before he passed out.

I bring it to my supervisor's attention like he needs to go home you take him & you talk about it in the morning before we get back to work cause with social media everyone took pictures & videos. My supervisor is like I wanna stay out of it but I'll take him home. So he gets him in the car and a fellow co-worker starts talking to him so as I'm leaving I see him and her hugged up and kissing and I'm like wow I'm getting on him to tell the other guy about being inappropriate & he's out here in the open kissing one of his employees (she's white) so he sees me leave and calls me like you didn't say bye I'm like yeah 3 a crowd I'm surprised you noticed I left. He was like we will talk tomorrow I said yeah we will & you probably won't like what I have to say.

I wanna tell him that I think less of him. I wouldn't take him as the type to sleep with or mess around with his employees & that I lost a lot of respect for him. Or I could just say nothing & continue to do my job.
 
Another woman I know just got married. Her man resents her for making more money than him. She has another promotion coming up next month and last time she got promoted- they got into a fight. He said it emasculates him.

Currently she pays a majority of the bills and pays about $2K a month in private student loans. Her balance is $250K. She wants to have a baby soon... waiting for that to implode.
 
So last night I was on the phone with a new prospect. Tell me why he started to yell at me. This fool believes that the original Blacks hail from Israel and all this other hotep-ish crap. I'm just there like I'm not religious so stop telling me that I pray to the wrong God because I'm not praying period. He just kept talking about it. I think I'm gonna start avoiding him :( he's so cute and he has so much money :cry:
 
SlimPickinz said:
So last night I was on the phone with a new prospect. Tell me why he started to yell at me. This fool believes that the original Blacks hail from Israel and all this other hotep-ish crap. I'm just there like I'm not religious so stop telling me that I pray to the wrong God because I'm not praying period. He just kept talking about it. I think I'm gonna start avoiding him :( he's so cute and he has so much money :cry:
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Girl :sekret: you can't put up with his preaching just for a few weeks? Get some coins out of him strictly for the annoyance he has put you through.
 
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