*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

sgold04 said:
Yep I'm in Houston, and yes I'd say it's cliquish. After 5/6 months I've been invited to audition for two cliques, but I'm not sure if I want to join. I've also met some great people from one of my travel groups but they are ALWAYS gone. They aren't natives either so most of them are planning out of state moves soon.
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Oh wow. I saw a video by Joulzy (sp?) and she mentioned the same things you stated. Also, my friend recently moved there and he said everything was so spread out and there's not many cultural things going on just shopping & awesome restaurants lol. Everyone tells me it's the place to be if you're single. Idk, it seems like places such as ATL or DC are easier to be social in.
 
Always~Wear~Joy said:
Oh wow. I saw a video by Joulzy (sp?) and she mentioned the same things you stated. Also, my friend recently moved there and he said everything was so spread out and there's not many cultural things going on just shopping & awesome restaurants lol. Everyone tells me it's the place to be if you're single. Idk, it seems like places such as ATL or DC are easier to be social in.
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The bolded is accurate af lol. I don't dislike Houston, I think it's where I need to be right now to rebuild financially after grad school, but it doesn't live up to the hype. The people are friendly and polite (even a lot of the YTs), but there is virtually nothing that interests me socially lol. I love a good happy hour and great food, but I'd love a wider variety of events/activities. I work with about 3 ladies who are super cool, but they live at least 30 minutes away (and still within the city of Houston), and honestly, ain't none of us trying to drive that far to kick it lol. My younger cousin liked it here, so maybe it's good for the mid-20s crowd. My social and dating life in DC was leaps and bounds ahead of my life here, I'd be boo'd up if I didn't leave. One of the dudes in my travel group (a naija engineer who has been here for 10 years) said "Texas is where happiness, progressive and intellectual minds come to die". I was like, "Dayam homie!" He stays because he makes a crap load of money in the oil industry, but this man is traveling out of town AT LEAST 70% of the month.

Having said all that, I'm hoping that there are a lot of things to do, but that I just don't know about them yet because I'm not part of a clique. I've asked natives what to do and they don't have any recs beyond restaurants.
 
keyawarren said:
Yoga was interesting. (see post 19482 :look:).

I was the only person in class. He stayed (shirtless and) in teacher mode the whole time. Although, I didn't really expect him not to.
He got up close to make adjustments on my body, which was cool, however, he had cigarette breath. Not severe, as if he just smoked, just smoker's breath in general. Smoking is a turn off for me.

His body is solid tho. Just solid. I'm not a fan of muscles, and I realized it's the gym manufactured ones that idc for. However, men who are naturally muscular due to activity (being a coach, or construction worker, or cus he's just built that way) is my type.

Anyway, the class was all good until I got to "fixed firm" pose. He was telling me to lay back with my hips down and my chest up. I felt self conscious about that for some reason. It's probably because my body was in a vulnerable state? :spinning:

Umm, nothing special happened. I think I'd have sex with him if offered. He's good looking and I really like his vibe.
(*he has not offered sex nor has he given me signs of interest. This is just a reach :lol: )

I'm going to be a regular to see what kind of results I can get.
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So I was at the bar last night with my yoga teacher...

After dance class, two of my classmates wanted to go to the bar downstairs for dranks and wings. I initially told them no. I was dead set on going straight home. We ran into the fine ass yoga teacher on the way out, so I turn to the girls and tell them, "I'm going to invite him to go with y'all". So I called him over, asked him, and he agreed...I totally changed my mind after that. I decided to be a perv and tag along :look: . My friends continued to beg me to come with, so I agreed. They have no idea that I came because of him.

Anyway, he's cool, but too young. He's 23. I'm 33 :cry3:. I can't even see myself hitting on his young self.

:bah:
 
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keyawarren said:
So I was at the bar last night with my yoga teacher...

After dance class, two of my classmates wanted to go to the bar downstairs for dranks and wings. I initially told them no. I was dead set on going straight home. We ran into the fine ass yoga teacher on the way out, so I turn to the girls and tell them, "I'm going to invite him to go with y'all". So I called him over, asked him, and he agreed...I totally changed my mind after that. I decided to be a perv and tag along :look: . My friends continued to beg me to come with, so I agreed. They have no idea that I came because of him.

Anyway, he's cool, but too young. He's 23. I'm 33 :cry3:. I can't even see myself hitting on his young self.

:bah:
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I am so mad that you won't let yourself taste that young tenderoni lol.
 
So it seems that I'm noticing a trend in the guys that tend to be attracted to me.

1) Passive Types: My exes have all been like this. They all had long time crushes on me but when in the relationship not as much effort was put in to getting to know me as I thought. I will admit my own distance and lack of trust (due to seeing the tumultuous relationships in my family) did not help things at all. All of the relationships ended amicably at least.

2) The "come on too fast, too strong" types: These guys been around ever since I could remember but they seem to be getting more numerous in the past few years. Some of the more memorable examples are
  1. One who was trying to get all the sexual favors within a couple of days of talking...and on the d*** school bus too!
  2. One who told me he loved me after our first phone chat (I mentioned this dude a long time ago in this thread)
  3. One who figured it was okay to tell me how much he liked me after about a week (also couldn't understand why I was saying no to hanging out when I was dead tired, I also mentioned this dude a long time ago). And this one still won't get the hint
  4. One who is really interested in marriage. Granted he is African and of marrying age, but he brought it up pretty quickly in one our conversations. Unlike the other three, he isn't pushy and he respects that I'm not ready (I'm not as mature as he sees me). He's a great guy on paper I'm just hesitant to start something know I'm not marriage material yet and he is clearly in the mindset of "the next girl I seriously date would be someone I can hopefully take to the altar"
I've been pretty good at politely declining their advances, and most (minus #3) took the hint and backed off.
The one common thing I see as a trend between the two types is the fact that they seem (at least in my opinion) more interested in getting "to claim me and have a relationship title" than anything. I find it odd because I'm a really shy, aloof, introverted, and independent (not in the aggressive "I don't need a man type", but just not afraid to go it alone for long periods of time and I'm never really "looking" for man) young woman and I'm trying to figure out what it is that attracts the passive or "too strong, too fast" types to me. I'm trying to figure out what I might need to work on in my own life to limit these types as I realize I'm partially to blame.
 
*when you dont wanna date other but you just may have to*

kyhWEGa.gif
 
Met a guy through some frat yesterday at a football game. He's handsome so he gets the juices flowing. Not sure what he's working with yet upstairs :/ He's quiet but there could be some depth. I told him about my travels and he said he would love to go backpacking with me. I don't travel with just anyone, but that's a bonus because it shows he's open to trying new things (he doesn't travel much currently)
 
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Had to set my young bull straight. He was all on my line telling me he missed me & wanted to see me which didn't really move me cuz he's been inconsistent which is why I removed myself from his presence.

So I told him I was free last night and he says he'll call me when he gets home, ok cool. He actually does and says come through but not but 5 minutes later texts me saying he has to run to a family get together real quick but it'll only be an hour:rolleyes: but he'll call me as soon as he was leaving and had the nerve to say "Answer your phone" ***** who is you???

That was at 8:30 & I didn't hear anything else from him the rest of the night. I've been sweet & nice...admittedly too nice but I had to tell him about himself. To his credit he took responsibility & apologized & said he knows he has his work cut out for him now but I'm over it, time to find new peen.
 
Some guys I went to college with reached out to me on IG including one that I think had a crush on me towards the end. We haven't even been out a decade and these guys are starting to age... :look: Keep in mind most of them are white/white Latino. I love my melanin! :afro:

I randomly found a dating app called Meeting Mindful and created a profile to see who I'd be matched with. I know I look young but some of these menz are younger than me but look waaaayyy older. I found 2 men I'd be interested in getting to know which is a miracle. One is kinda far away and the other has a potential deal breaker. Liked the one that looks far away. Let's see.
 
I love our pseudo deep convos. We had a good one today. They always make me feel happy :love:

We know each others phone passcodes. And I know his iPads's.....I should control myself :look: lol nah, nah, I'm good :look:

I've started asking him for 'just because' cash :lol: Small sums to start lol. So far so good.

I start my new job tomorrow!!! I'll have increased my salary by 45% from my last job and by 105% since graduating 4yrs ago! Stoked! Babe starts his new job tomorrow, too lol. He'll have increased his salary by 45% from his last job, too! :lol: He always made more than me, but now he makes about $20k more. So not fair lol. But don't worry...I will be asking him for WAY more just because cash in the new year :look:

We had dinner at his moms house this weekend. She asked me for my number and told me what color to wear to her wedding lol (she's getting married in April). She asked me to write a list of 3 things I want for Christmas and she'll pick 1 and get it for me :)

Woah it's almost 2017! Crazy...
 
Neomorph said:
So it seems that I'm noticing a trend in the guys that tend to be attracted to me.

1) Passive Types: My exes have all been like this. They all had long time crushes on me but when in the relationship not as much effort was put in to getting to know me as I thought. I will admit my own distance and lack of trust (due to seeing the tumultuous relationships in my family) did not help things at all. All of the relationships ended amicably at least.

2) The "come on too fast, too strong" types: These guys been around ever since I could remember but they seem to be getting more numerous in the past few years.
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I could have written this.
More along the passive type lines. I have been described as an alpha female, but that's out of necessity. I don't want to be in charge, but dudes are so damned laid back and nonchalant these days. No nothing, planning, consistency, drive, nothing.

New dude is trying to sew it up so hard. But in a positive way. He's very different, country as hell and we have the best conversations and laugh like crazy. A few small things would have made me jet in my previous life, but they really are kind of trivial. The other day he asked me if I told my kids about him. Uh, no man. I don't roll like that. If I told my kids about everyone I met they would be googly eyed. I don't do that. You gotta be pretty special/long term for me to even think about mentioning you to my children. Plus they aren't little. My "babies" are 23, 18 and 13. They don't care.. :lachen:

So um last night....almost fell into something. Glad I called it off. I don't want to get caught up. But um he got a


10sdugo_th.png
:naughtycouch:
 
I been talking to this one dude I met online for a while who stay out of town, but I'm not really feeling him. I feel like it's a high possibility he unattractive in real life.

Anyways, he mentions to me today he's going to be in town today. My response, "oh okay." So then he goes on to say, "don't worry I won't intrude on your personal life."

:rolleyes: Baby I wasn't worried. I make time for who I want, when I want, and it's not your behind today.

And y'all I stopped talking to that ninja who asked me for a pic right off jump cause then his behind tried to get sexual. Like even if I was just looking for a hook up how you just jump to this off bat? It's too much my love. Wayyyyyy too much.
 
qchelle said:
Woah it's almost 2017! Crazy...
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I.JUST.HAD.THIS.SAME.THOUGHT....
I need to get working on my 2017 goals-
New job (in the works, should have an offer soon)...
Take and pass CFE certification - first half of 2017
Start CMA certification - second half of 2017
Find 2 more clients to add to the roster.
I keep thinking about taking LSAT in 2018-19 but then I snap out of it- I am doing too much.
Even if I could do it all- still too much.
Tax Attorney though - start up a little firm-Management Accounting on one side/ Tax Advice and Practice on the other, hire some people to work for me....
I am dreaming too much. I will put that on the 5 year plan... I need to focus on getting married so the love life is stable while I pursue the moon and the stars.
crlsweetie912 said:
I could have written this.
More along the passive type lines. I have been described as an alpha female, but that's out of necessity. I don't want to be in charge, but dudes are so damned laid back and nonchalant these days. No nothing, planning, consistency, drive, nothing.
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I COMPLETELY agree- most of them are like that about life period. Not just relationships.... Ask them where they see themselves in 5 years--- I hear the standard (married, kids, house, etc)... five years later- they still in the same spot.
 
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movingforward said:
Friend hosted a male stripper party. My first time going......I feel some type of way getting hot and bothered but can't do anything about it.
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I went to one of the RHO of whoever's toy party with my SIL a few years back that had male strippers. Never again. At least not with her.
One lifted me up on his shoulders. I prayed for him lmao.

What do y'all get out of it? It's like a museum. You can look but not touch and that makes me angry lol.
 
aviddiva77 said:
Thanks.

We are still together...for now. I'm trying to be patient but I am not a wall chipper. Nor do I want to be one.
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Hmmm. So my bestie got his flashlight out and showed me that I'm not giving Jack a chance. That every time he does something positive towards me I find something anything negative to pick at/get mad at him for. He says I'm self-sabotaging. He's not wrong but I guess Jack isn't the only one with walls built.

I want more attention point blank. Old PFB keeps hitting me up on snapchat and I keep allowing it because I like the attention. Even he told me to be patient with Jack. But then again, I may shrivel/hate when he does so. I've had guys do it in the past when trying to smash and it turned me off so quick. The texts, the phone calls. It would drive me nuts BUT I would feel. Well wanted. And I think that's the biggest issue. I don't feel wanted by him and I'm not sure how to convey that to him without sounding needy/clingy.

But my bestie is right. I can't be mad at him for something I haven't asked him to improve on yet.
 
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