*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

DarkJoy said:
I seem to be on a some type of streak with losers. Like... dudes with nothing to offer. Literally not a pot to piss in or window to throw it out of. After a couple conversations, it's apparent they can't even be fwb or fb (which I'm currently on the market for).

How these fools gonna be 40s to 50s with nothing to show for it? Some of them not even kids! Damn. Kids are easy to make! :lachen:

I would regroup and take a break but *** that. Life is short.

Moving right along...
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It's not you, this is the way it is. There are alot of losers out there. You will start to meet great guys. Give it time.
If not, then you'll need to start hanging in different places.
 
keish33 said:
I'm new to this dating multiple guys until one steps up, what do you tell the other one when one steps up and you agree to become exclusive?
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I become more unavailable to the others and in some instances, I am truthful. But I am not going exclusive until I am sure I like the person and can see it going somewhere. Most of my "exclusives" resulted in long term relationships- only had one that didn't.
 
My friend shared this quote for with me today, and it is so fitting for where I'm at in life:

"My alone feels so good, I'll only have you if you're sweeter than my solitude." - Warsan Shire

That quote is GOALS.

It's been a very stressful and busy week and tonight I went out for dinner with my girlfriend and now I'm home with candles lit, clean apartment, playing some magical black girl music and enjoying my own company. I'm slowly but surely getting to be ok with just being on my own; next step not only being ok with it, but loving my space.
 
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aviddiva77 said:
He gave me gas money! I am soooo confused. What did I do? How? Men just be giving money like this?

Anyway, why we have the good chats post sex I will never know. But man this is not good for me. I am so sore. But it feels sooo good. It's gonna be hard when he ends things.
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Girl..what you mean?!?!?! He SHOULD be doing that, gas money is the least he can do hell. and yes men give out money and freely at that :laugh: :gorgeous:
 
I swear my Daddy must think I'm an old maid or something y'all....this past month he has been in my ear about these two guys he ran across :rolleyes: One is the nephew of one of his old friends, he's heavy into the church and a virgin which is awesome don't get me wrong but ummmerah...... and the second is the son of one of his patients. I guess they got to talking about their kids and somehow he mentioned how he homeschooled us until High School and she said she did the same with her son and he too is a sweet, sensitive, virginal man.... are y'all catching on to this pattern yet?

FOR SOME REASON..my Daddy still thinks I'm a virgin and I've just been letting him live that lie, even my mama was like "Well hell..aint no point in telling him now" :rofl: I think it's awesome that those men have held out that long but I've been getting it poppin since 2005 and I'm currently spending my free time writing a dirty novel :giggle: what the hell am I going to do with a virginal man?!?!:angeldevil:
 
UniquelyDivine said:
I swear my Daddy must think I'm an old maid or something y'all....this past month he has been in my ear about these two guys he ran across :rolleyes: One is the nephew of one of his old friends, he's heavy into the church and a virgin which is awesome don't get me wrong but ummmerah...... and the second is the son of one of his patients. I guess they got to talking about their kids and somehow he mentioned how he homeschooled us until High School and she said she did the same with her son and he too is a sweet, sensitive, virginal man.... are y'all catching on to this pattern yet?

FOR SOME REASON..my Daddy still thinks I'm a virgin and I've just been letting him live that lie, even my mama was like "Well hell..aint no point in telling him now" :rofl: I think it's awesome that those men have held out that long but I've been getting it poppin since 2005 and I'm currently spending my free time writing a dirty novel :giggle: what the hell am I going to do with a virginal man?!?!:angeldevil:
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Corrupt him!!
 
UniquelyDivine said:
Girl..what you mean?!?!?! He SHOULD be doing that, gas money is the least he can do hell. and yes men give out money and freely at that :laugh: :gorgeous:
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I've never experienced this! I've never seen this in my life. I ALMOST said no and argued with him and I thought of y'all and took that money. And thanked him profusely :look: :sekret:

I asked him if the chemistry will last. He said no. It always fades and the couple has to know each other well enough and have enough in common to make the relationship last. Which is when most divorces occur.

He's cynical about marriage. I told him I was iffy about if I see us going there (which is the truth). He's somewhere in between. But yeah. He's meeting the besties on Saturday so we shall see.

I seriously think he's worried about me leaving him in the future for a black guy.
 
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UniquelyDivine said:
I swear my Daddy must think I'm an old maid or something y'all....this past month he has been in my ear about these two guys he ran across :rolleyes: One is the nephew of one of his old friends, he's heavy into the church and a virgin which is awesome don't get me wrong but ummmerah...... and the second is the son of one of his patients. I guess they got to talking about their kids and somehow he mentioned how he homeschooled us until High School and she said she did the same with her son and he too is a sweet, sensitive, virginal man.... are y'all catching on to this pattern yet?

FOR SOME REASON..my Daddy still thinks I'm a virgin and I've just been letting him live that lie, even my mama was like "Well hell..aint no point in telling him now" :rofl: I think it's awesome that those men have held out that long but I've been getting it poppin since 2005 and I'm currently spending my free time writing a dirty novel :giggle: what the hell am I going to do with a virginal man?!?!:angeldevil:
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Maybe they aren't really virgins either lol. :lachen:
 
The guy I slept with asked to meet me for lunch on Friday. I agreed, but I wasn't sure that I really wanted to meet up so I canceled on him.

He was telling me that his schedule is tight this weekend, but he will try to meet up with me at some point. Thing is, idc if we meet this weekend or not. I would like for the intensity of this *thing* to die down. We only had sex once, but I suspected that if we crossed that line he would be more attentive.

Anyway, I'm slowly spartaning up. Being present takes work. in the "Men Don't Love Women Like You" thread I mentioned how I tend to be into myself, so I'm not interested in eye ****ing guys, I usually just don't want to be bothered. I pick a time and a space/place to be social (I'm an introvert) so it's work for me to be open at the moment that I see a cutie. This is why I end up laying up with my placeholders too long.

However, fb situations work better for me. It only becomes an issue if we're incompatible but are doing the "dating" thing.
 
prettyinpurple said:
Maybe they aren't really virgins either lol. :lachen:
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They probably are lying.
My cousin had my aunt convinced that he was a Virgin. He eventually got a girl pregnant... so they explained it away as his "first time" and he didn't know what to do. :lachen:

My mom probably still thinks I'm virginal... personally she doesn't need to know the kind of sucking/****ing **** I'm on.
 
DarkJoy said:
Not directed at me but...

He's right in a way . the honeymoon period lasts maybe a year or 2? I find as I get older that honeymoon period is less than a year :lol:

He might just be a relationship realist....
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No he's right. A lot of people don't date long enough to get out of the honeymoon period so that the marriage can last. Or rather they don't build a good foundation early on in the dating process/marriage and thus when the rose colored glasses come off all hell breaks loose. So THAT I agree with.

However, that doesn't mean that marriage is bad or that it's not possible. It just takes work like any relationship and you need to makes sure you have more going for your relationship than just the physical /surface entities.

I think he's a bit jaded from his past girlfriends or maybe that's just how he is. And I need to figure out if I can handle that. I'm not in this to change opinions or save a ho lol.
 
Lee came over last night- impromptu "I want to see you" type. My son was dead tired and was sleep, so it was just me and Lee. Spent time talking and watching TV and ordered out for Chinese... we talked about our teens and 20s. He said his life really slowed down in the last couple of years. Wouldn't tell me his "wild ways" in the past but was harping on how much it slowed, since he reached his mid 30s. Gave me a kiss on the nose before he left. *warm and fuzzies in my heart*
 
aviddiva77 said:
However, that doesn't mean that marriage is bad or that it's not possible. It just takes work like any relationship and you need to makes sure you have more going for your relationship than just the physical /surface entities.

I think he's a bit jaded from his past girlfriends or maybe that's just how he is. And I need to figure out if I can handle that. I'm not in this to change opinions or save a ho lol.
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I wasn't there so don't know how he said it (body language, facial expressions, etc) but the way I read the words it just sounds matter of fact with a realistic view. Doesn't sound cynical. And, gratefully, definately isn't a fantasy Disney POV of romance and relationships. Sounds in the middle to me.
 
Met a potential last night. He introduced himself to me and shook my hand and was surprised by my firm handshake (I get that alot actually). He was like, "With a handshake like that, I know you've got to be a professional." So I told him what I do and he was like, "That's so cool! Tell me what the first 10 minutes of your day is like." I get the feeling we might be getting to know each other better in the future. :wink: I also saw my crush (SJ) but we didn't get to talk except in passing.
 
One of his friends called him the other day while we were together and he asked if he could pick up lol. I said sure. She was drunk and driving back home, so we all talked on speaker phone until she got home safely. lawd. I know the friend, I mean he's told me about her; they've been friends since 3rd grade. She was spilling all her drunk guts about him lol. It was funny :lol: She confirmed things about what he's said about his life. Good talk.

He says he hates coming to my house :lachen: the gas is too high out here, my house is too hot, the visitor parking sucks, the walk from the car to my door is too long (it is lmao), blah blah :lol:

He told me that 1 of his coworkers recommended a jeweler for rings. So he's talking to his coworkers (whom he hates! lmao) about this? wow.

I forwarded a focus group to him that he qualifies for (and I don't). I told him that I want half the money lol.

He told me he's the happiest he's ever been awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

He logged in to his e-mail account from my computer and didn't log out. Now, this nicca knows I'm nosey af. He calls me nosy all the time cuz I go through his mail and snoop around his house lmao. How he gon leave the damn e-mail open!? sigh. So yea when I went to gmail.com his e-mail popped up :cry3: and I had to make the hardest decision of my life to log out :cry3: I did do a quick swoop through tho of course :sekret: everything checked out :lachen:

Went on a job interview today. HATED it. Next.
 
rafikichick92 said:
Met a potential last night. He introduced himself to me and shook my hand and was surprised by my firm handshake (I get that alot actually). He was like, "With a handshake like that, I know you've got to be a professional." So I told him what I do and he was like, "That's so cool! Tell me what the first 10 minutes of your day is like." I get the feeling we might be getting to know each other better in the future. ;) I also saw my crush (SJ) but we didn't get to talk except in passing.
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What kinda job interview ish is this? :lol: I woulda looked at him so cockeyed :lol: He must be fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.
 
qchelle said:
What kinda job interview ish is this? :lol: I woulda looked at him so cockeyed :lol: He must be fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.
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Haha, it is a weird question but the way he asked it was very enthusiastic like he was super excited and interested to know, so it didn't come off AS strange as it sounds. He is pretty cute, though I think prefer SJ's personality. SJ is more of a beta while this guy (TC) seems like an alpha (I've never met him before, but I have seen him around) and alphas make me nervous for some reason. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing ...
 
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