*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

I met this guy at the post office the other day. Let's call him JW. JW and I were in line and he was being a little flirty, which was cute. After I took care of my business, I walked past him and gave him my number. He called immediately, I was busy and later that night he texted me and I responded.

So he text me this morning, so I went ahead and called him. I had a good conversation with him.

I liked that he was truthful.

Im not attracted to him, but I can definitely be physical with him. I know....makes no sense.
 
mochalocks said:
This guy sounds like the guy I had to give the deuces to recently.
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Smh. He said that all black women he comes across has the same problem. Reading books on relationships and love and painting dudes with the same brush, not giving guys a chance- whatever that means.
I firmly believe he was trying to get some @$$ and when he realized I wasn't f&cking, his Aries came out.
 
@movingforward13 These men are too common unfortunately. It's a good thing you found out early.

Question ladies: how do you respond to men who approach you only for sex? Specifically men you will interact with fairly frequently because you run in the same circles?

I received two late night (1am) messages (one phone call and one text--two different guys). I was sleep and my phone was on silent, but when I checked my phone in the morning I was disappointed. Now the text was just "you up?" And the guy who called didn't leave a message....but why else would they be contacting me at 1am? The thing is, I've never been overtly flirtatious with these guys, or even discussed sex, so I don't know what makes them think they could try me.
 
sgold04 said:
@movingforward13 These men are too common unfortunately. It's a good thing you found out early.

Question ladies: how do you respond to men who approach you only for sex? Specifically men you will interact with fairly frequently because you run in the same circles?

I received two late night (1am) messages (one phone call and one text--two different guys). I was sleep and my phone was on silent, but when I checked my phone in the morning I was disappointed. Now the text was just "you up?" And the guy who called didn't leave a message....but why else would they be contacting me at 1am? The thing is, I've never been overtly flirtatious with these guys, or even discussed sex, so I don't know what makes them think they could try me.
Click to expand...


If a man does/says something that gives me that idea then I call him out right away. If they say something borderline, trying to push the envelope I simply say "come again", "who are you talking to?", or a look will bring them back to reality.

Call me too late then I'll tell them "don't call me at heaux hours. You had all day to call but you waited until you did every trivial thing before you called me?" Mind you, it could be 11:00 pm, but I call out bs right away.

Yes, it's direct. Some may call it mean, but they're there to please you, not the other way around. I've never even received a dick pic, lol. I feel left out. But I take it as a good thing.

Men will fall in line or fall back if you let them know right away what you expect.
 
His bro and wifes baby shower was cute and short. Fun. Met more of his family. After the shower, he told me his grandma said to him...something like 'I don't mean to pry, but if yall decide to have kids someday, she would give me some good looking grandbabies, she's gorgeous!' lol thanks grams.

A lot of his bros friends were there. About 5 of his guy friends. All around 31yrs old. All black guys and all are married to black women. And all of them have infants/toddlers. That's cute lol.

We looked at more rings yesterday at Jared. Yo Jared gives fantastic customer service! I had jewelry on when we got there...they offered to clean it while we looked! Whaaaat!? They offered bottled water, hot chocolate, and cappuccino whaaaaat? We were incredulous the whole time lmao. The sales guy we ended up talking to was great! I still liked the rose gold, with some diamonds in the band. But I like the halo better than the 3 stone. I don't think I really looked at any halo styles the last time. And now, I want him to go to Jared anyway, due to the treatment we received lol.

He's paying for my Brazilians now. Good.

We stopped in H&M and Zara. I had never been to Zara before and I love it! #basic lol. I have got to go back soon!

Me and my mom are going to a wine festival in NJ next weekend :D
 
I had a great date on Friday. Kinda snapped me out of this dating apathy mode that I've been in for the past couple months. I almost bailed on the date on itself since I was feeling so flat. I made him meet me at a bar literally less than 10 min walk away from my house...I cycled and still managed to be late :look:. It was super easy being there with him and I stayed longer than expected. We're hanging out again tomorrow.
 
I really need to sit in a damn chair somewhere.
So I was out with family at dinner. Had a great time. Got the WYD text from an ex. We have major history, known each other for 20 years, but we were super young so we weren't in a relationship. I went clean off on his lack of anything, umph, sporadic calling. I told him to **** or git off the pot. Stop calling me if you don't really want anything.....that bs about what are you about to do? Negro if you want to see me just SAY IT! I always meet guys who are so damn wishy washy. Never any drive or urgency. They just flitter around, disappear, come back. FLUCK THAT ****. No more. I deleted and blocked half of my contact list. NO MORE! I gotta do this stuff differently. I'm too old for games.
 
I can't stop thinking about him and I'm trying my damest to not see him. But he wants to meet me/see me. He has said it twice! He's much older than me (but I looooove older men), and his kids are grown, so I guess...
Anyway, we'll see how long we can go without meeting, but it doesn't help that I keep talking to him and entaining his post, smh. I didn't want anything with anyone for a whole year, but he's so fine. Atleast we live in the same borough (no long distance) :p
 
He is handsome, he has a secret way about him, he is calm, says he loves me. That what we want right?

But where is my sex organ? He is so awkward talking about sex, I had to ask, we are eventually having sex right? He says he has to be here right now... ill advisable, but I am not convinced he won't just talk my ear off. I not used to a man not asking me to talk dirty, wear this and call them whatever. He stops before we take it there. I think he sees me as a Madonna, but right now, I am on whore stuff. I am not special, some guys keep you locked until they exhaust all options and see if you are the best or just a placeholder. He can be on some advance pimping.

I told him I have to make sure he is not swept up by the idea of me. He is idealistic and a dreamer. I am analytical. He asked me can he claim me and am I "dating?" Not currently. Just working in self and every other day, seeing Hotep. Does that really have to stop lol? He has a weapon. I just like studying it. I would love to draw it. This is the opposite. Bomb sex, decent conversation, dominate, certified f*boi. Cali hard to engage, lets me take the lead, IN EVERYTHING, haven't even seen his peen, but I having problems catching a sexual vibe. Hotep was spontaneous. I was chilling, told his butt to come over, then yeah.
 
So curiosity got the best of me and I called semi-famous...he's entertaining on the phone but I don't think I'm bout this life for several reasons. He told me he wanted to fly me out to his next show within ten minutes of us talking which I wasn't surprised by that, that's usually the end game when it comes to this but he said he doesn't pay for the plane tickets but will handle everything else. Eating, hotel, shopping etc. Boy....bye!
 
Oasis said:
how do you fly someone out and not pay for the tickets?! he's going to book the tickets for you with your credit card info?:lol:
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RIGHT?! My face screwed up so stankly when he said that :laugh:, talking bout I can't deal with a woman that can't afford a plane ticket.


ms.tatiana said:
@UniquelyDivine lol I hate those types men. Like you wanna see me I ain't that pressed, so not a dime should be coming out my pocket.
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I was genuinely shocked at his audacity, like I've been flown out before, first class at that, and he paid for every thing. Even the tacky ass keychains I bought folks as souvenirs so to say I'm not impressed is an understatement. If you're going to be an old unnatractive sugar daddy then you better have me sipping a free mimosa next to an old Jewish biddy in seat 1A.
 
Forgot to add....He's hella thirsty acting which is such a turn off to me. We spoke on the phone for about 1.5 hours and it was a cool convo, he's a comedian so I was thoughly amused and entertained. But then...he called me a few hours later at 11:00 which is past my bedtime so my phone was on Do Not Disturb...

200w.gif


THEN he called me again at 11:30 & text me at 1:00 talking bout "I called you"

giphy.gif

THEN I got a text this morning talking bout "No good morning? " I laughed it off then he said "Call Me" Ninja I'm at work, I don't have time to be chopping it up with your non ticket buying tail all day.
 
movingforward13 said:
Smh. He said that all black women he comes across has the same problem. Reading books on relationships and love and painting dudes with the same brush, not giving guys a chance- whatever that means.
I firmly believe he was trying to get some @$$ and when he realized I wasn't f&cking, his Aries came out.
Click to expand...
And he contacted me today after 2 days of me not speaking to him... asking me if I missed him. LMAO! wut???
I was like "If you wanted me to" then quickly changed the subject. I deleted him out my phone book but didn't block him so I was really confused when he hit me up. Temporary entertainment I guess.
 
sgold04 said:
@movingforward13 These men are too common unfortunately. It's a good thing you found out early.

Question ladies: how do you respond to men who approach you only for sex? Specifically men you will interact with fairly frequently because you run in the same circles?

I received two late night (1am) messages (one phone call and one text--two different guys). I was sleep and my phone was on silent, but when I checked my phone in the morning I was disappointed. Now the text was just "you up?" And the guy who called didn't leave a message....but why else would they be contacting me at 1am? The thing is, I've never been overtly flirtatious with these guys, or even discussed sex, so I don't know what makes them think they could try me.
Click to expand...

How disrespectful. Men can be something.
 
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HappyMadison said:
He is handsome, he has a secret way about him, he is calm, says he loves me. That what we want right?

But where is my sex organ? He is so awkward talking about sex, I had to ask, we are eventually having sex right? He says he has to be here right now... ill advisable, but I am not convinced he won't just talk my ear off. I not used to a man not asking me to talk dirty, wear this and call them whatever. He stops before we take it there. I think he sees me as a Madonna, but right now, I am on whore stuff. I am not special, some guys keep you locked until they exhaust all options and see if you are the best or just a placeholder. He can be on some advance pimping.

I told him I have to make sure he is not swept up by the idea of me. He is idealistic and a dreamer. I am analytical. He asked me can he claim me and am I "dating?" Not currently. Just working in self and every other day, seeing Hotep. Does that really have to stop lol? He has a weapon. I just like studying it. I would love to draw it. This is the opposite. Bomb sex, decent conversation, dominate, certified f*boi. Cali hard to engage, lets me take the lead, IN EVERYTHING, haven't even seen his peen, but I having problems catching a sexual vibe. Hotep was spontaneous. I was chilling, told his butt to come over, then yeah.
Click to expand...

What happened...I thought you were going to kick Hotep to the curb??!
 
I signed up for OKC since I have little desire to be social. I deleted it after 12 hours. I exchanged numbers with one guy because I knew I was deleting soon and he was the only one I was interested in getting to know more, but I'm not really interested
anymore. I don't even want to have a phone convo with him. (He hasn't done anything wrong.) He's not my usual type, but I was trying something different. He sends me these mundane texts all day and it's annoying (what are you cooking? Good morning. It's hot out here). I should at least have a phone convo I guess and attempt to get to know him before I write him off...,something about him doesn't sit right with me but I'm not sure what it is.
 
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CarmelCupcake said:
What happened...I thought you were going to kick Hotep to the curb??!
Click to expand...

He is not with his girl anymore. He keeps asking me on dates and wants to do things, like take my kid places. He invited me to a poetry slam last night. I suppose he doesn't want to lose his grip on me. Younger me used to find comfort from partners who said, "you're mine," because it appeals to my Taurean sense of security.

But this is not what out of life that started based on withheld information. It is such an incomplete experience. I deserve someone's full devotion so I put it under the lens of "having fun." But I was limiting myself when engaging with him. We occasionally talk, with his hating arse, but even that has to stop, so I am not having that voice that is looking out for its own self interest and is only beneficial sexually or intellectually. What about love?

Short answer: I moved on lol.
 
crlsweetie912 said:
I really need to sit in a damn chair somewhere.
So I was out with family at dinner. Had a great time. Got the WYD text from an ex. We have major history, known each other for 20 years, but we were super young so we weren't in a relationship. I went clean off on his lack of anything, umph, sporadic calling. I told him to **** or git off the pot. Stop calling me if you don't really want anything.....that bs about what are you about to do? Negro if you want to see me just SAY IT! I always meet guys who are so damn wishy washy. Never any drive or urgency. They just flitter around, disappear, come back. FLUCK THAT ****. No more. I deleted and blocked half of my contact list. NO MORE! I gotta do this stuff differently. I'm too old for games.
Click to expand...
So dude in this post has called me three times since Friday night (he is blocked) so then I went to check my text and I kid you not I have at least 10 texts from him. Like really dude. Any other time it would be weeks before he contacted me again. Now you blowing up my phone. Men really do love witches cause I read him 5 ways to Sunday. But I have not responded to any texts or messages.

I'm not living my life like that anymore waiting on other people. I'm done.
 
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