*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

He said our meeting was a cute, non-conventional story versus meeting at a club or bar. I said my friend totally said the same thing. I found his Facebook. He is quite handsome. I have never dated "someone like me." Like if my thoughts are "in the air" I need a guy who is grounded. He seems to be a space case like me. I think it is part of my persona to be flighty, yet intellectually stimulating, like I have knowledge from old worlds and the new, but I don't think I can deal with a male version of myself lol, if that makes sense. And he is from Cali...I am cautious.
Hotep popped over. He apologized but that was for his own self interest. That is someone I really need to shake. He is just riddled with bad karma. Not saying he doesn't care about me in his own Hotep capacity, it is just not something I see for myself into. He said we work sexually and intelligently. I said I scam most men like that, because I have so much trivial knowledge, I am relatable.
I just did it on a dating site, this older guy was named Saad, I asked him if he was Persian. Turkish, we volley on the etymology of his name (means happy), bam! I am in there like swimwear. Interest piqued. But I also know when to tone it down and let men "teach me." They love it!

Anyways, cannot put it all on him because I am being permissive. His peen is quite big (Hotep) and it is very indulgent and hedonistic but it is not free. It attached to very heavy, very dark energy. Despite this "don't ask, don't tell" policy, open relationships are rarely balance and based in one partner's insecurity. Not saying all are, but in Austin, several of these alternative lifestyles have other motives. I don't fuqq with them.
 
I used Tinder while in Paris and went out on a date. He had Uber pick me up and take me to the restaurant and back to the hotel. I'd mention 2 days prior that I really wanted to find some West African food, so he took me to a West African restaurant. It was nice. Too bad he's in Paris and "usually only dates white girls" :rolleyes:

That experience made me miss dating. I think I'm going to start back.
 
I met a guy online but he lives in another state. I didn't take it seriously although we've been communicating for three months via telephone. I still was dating and seeing other people.

Surprisingly, I planned a trip to see a friend of mines and it wasn't too far from where he lived. We met up and he showed me around town, invited me to dinner with his family and was very sweet.

He is a great kisser but I wouldnt go further, which he respected.


Now Im wondering why I didnt get some...??
Chemistry and Attraction was there!!

I have some underlying issues I need to resolve.. maybe im EU

@frogkisses you have good insight, what do you think
 
I had a really interesting conversation today with two of my new classmates. They both follow Islam and practice what I can only describe as courtship. When a man is interested in them he expresses interest to the family at which time the family members vet him; following that introductions between the men and women are made only if the family feels that he would be a good match for their daughter. When a man shows interest in this way his intentions are to see if this woman may be his future wife. Ultimately it is the man and woman that determine whether or not they would like to pursue the relationship, but the family provides guidance. They also mentioned that the courtship process is less romantic and more about getting to know the person, their habits, their values and goals.

Now, I have no interest in religion or courtship really, but I really love the robustness of their vetting process. I like the idea of not only knowing a man's intentions upfront, but also allowing families/friends to size him up early on. One of the women expressed the idea that she believes the emotional ties should come later, after you have established shared values, goals, built respect, have a plan; etc. Reflecting on my own life, particularly my last relationship I jumped in way too soon (i.e. I was a girlfriend 3 weeks after meeting this man). I'm staying happily single for now, but I definitely want to incorporate a more, emotionally detached and rigorous vetting process in the future. It makes total sense to me.
 
So Cali called. OMG he is so random! He was talking about Sleepless in Seattle and Dirty Dancing. My lawd. Loves talking about his children, but it gets lonely I think he is looking for a surrogate. Too soon, mate. I am not in the mood for anything serious at the present. I am more "Butt Naked in Bedstuy" kinda girl, at the moment of course.
Talks circular, just like me...
 
qchelle said:
What's a nice outfit to wear to a baby shower in the fall?
Click to expand...

What's the weather like there? Is it is casual shower or a little dressier? I had on a cute fall outfit this past weekend, fitted olive green pants, a denim button up shirt with a smidge of titty showing and tied at the bottom with some brown ankle boots. I also think it's cute when people wear fitted midi dresses with a cardigan or chambray shirt over it or tie the shirt at your waist with some cute ankle boots.
 
gimbap said:
I used Tinder while in Paris and went out on a date. He had Uber pick me up and take me to the restaurant and back to the hotel. I'd mention 2 days prior that I really wanted to find some West African food, so he took me to a West African restaurant. It was nice. Too bad he's in Paris and "usually only dates white girls" :rolleyes:

That experience made me miss dating. I think I'm going to start back.
Click to expand...

He honestly said that to you? the *** were you supposed to do with that information? Olofo!
 
FelaShrine said:
He honestly said that to you? the *** were you supposed to do with that information? Olofo!
Click to expand...
Yep. Apparently he hadn't been on a date with a black woman in a long time, and we got on the subject of what it was like dating in our respective cities. He said that the pickings were slim in Paris re: black women and that his brother and most of his friends were dating/married to white women. He said it's hard to find an educated, open minded black woman in Paris that didn't wear weaves that he feels connected to and that if he were living in the US, it'd be different. Whatever. I was only in the country for a few days, it was a good time, and I wasn't expecting anything from the date.

Lately I'm more surprised when a black guy does exclusively date black women.

ETA: Last year I met a guy on OKC that told me the same thing on our first and only date
 
Random ass memory: I met a guy at homecoming last year. I was drankin, but I pictured a handsome chocolate man with an amazing body. We met up in DC (where we both lived) a few weeks later, and while his body was the same, he had a completely different face! I was soooo mad that I spent the time to look cute and he looked....not cute. He wasn't ugly, just not as I remembered.

Anyway, I'm mad all over again.

This playboy keeps messaging me. I like his personality but I know he just wants to cut. It's annoying me.
 
So *pops lips* Cali's son had his birthday. He was turning the same age as my kiddo and he was going to this amusement park near my home. He just seems so honest, with his dumb sounding self. He is not dumb, he is just so "Cali," laid back, sounding perpetually high, but he is not, just a "dude."
His daughter automatically attached to me and, yeah, she got me. She wanted me to pick her up. You can tell she is sorely missing a mother figure. I recognize her, because I did not have my mother around that young.
I am the "cool adult," meaning kids listen to me and trust and respect my decisions off the back. I am firm but fun. My son takes after my coolness. I just have a way with children, which is the reason why they exhaust me.

My problem, he moves entirely too fast. Don't try to hold my hands around the children. They just met me. YOU met me a handful of times. It is commendable you are parenting 100% by yourself. It is hard doing it at 85% for myself. But don't let the desire for a two parent household and loneliness cloud you. It weird having to be the person to say, "wait a minute." I still haven't worked out my feelings towards him, as in, I don't have any strong sexual feelings for him and that is really weird. He sent a text a couple of days ago saying, "love you already" and my head response was, "you're a weirdo." But I sent the side eye emoji instead.

Look he just sent me a text that said, "such a beautiful thing watching you mother." He is looking for a surrogate, right? And I spent a lot of money in therapy trying to find my identity outside the labels "wife" and "mother," I am still trying to figure ME out.

Hotep said I would get bored....
 
Well that was quick. He showed his colors really fast. Asking me to come over his apartment to play "video games". (I am a gamer chick but still we just met). I said no- but we got into deep discussions about life and relationships. I told him stuff I read about how men fall in love and everything else... And somehow that all gets turned around on me- I am following a rule book to relationships and I can't do that. I shouldn't wait to have sex if there is chemistry. I am driving men away from me because of my energy. When I asked him to explain this, he said my standards were too high.

So needless to say- with the amount of sex he discussed and his frustration that I wasn't easily swayed by his thoughts on how I should date (because I am going about it all wrong according to him) I won't be seeing him again. The nerve of me to have standards and not come over his house hours after meeting him.

And according to him, us women shouldn't expect black men to want marriage and families because of systematic racism. Men didn't grow up with their families because they were torn away by the slave owners so why do we think it is easy for them to want to be full time dads married to the mom. Fortunately so far, he has no kids (or so he says). Ironic thing- he claims to be waiting for marriage. Insert eyeroll smiley here.
 
He's playing along :look:

This weekend my friends and i went away. Sooo,Saturday night we were chillin' at a lounge/club all together. One of the guys in our group asked me to hold a personal item for a moment and then forgot about it. But I didn't :look: so I took it back to the hotel with me and sent him a sessy pic with it on my person :look:

I saw him the next morning, and I let him know that getting it back wont be easy. When it came time to ride back to the city he asked if I was carpooling with him (he knew damn well I wasn't, and now I realize he was gonna try to take me to his house after dropping his passengers off :lol: )

This mindfucking stuff is new to me. So I'm kinda experimenting here. But it feels quite natural so I'm gonna with it


And yes, I'd cuff him :look:

*I still have the item and I'm figuring out what I'm going to make him do to get it back.
 
movingforward13 said:
Well that was quick. He showed his colors really fast. Asking me to come over his apartment to play "video games". (I am a gamer chick but still we just met). I said no- but we got into deep discussions about life and relationships. I told him stuff I read about how men fall in love and everything else... And somehow that all gets turned around on me- I am following a rule book to relationships and I can't do that. I shouldn't wait to have sex if there is chemistry. I am driving men away from me because of my energy. When I asked him to explain this, he said my standards were too high.

So needless to say- with the amount of sex he discussed and his frustration that I wasn't easily swayed by his thoughts on how I should date (because I am going about it all wrong according to him) I won't be seeing him again. The nerve of me to have standards and not come over his house hours after meeting him.

And according to him, us women shouldn't expect black men to want marriage and families because of systematic racism. Men didn't grow up with their families because they were torn away by the slave owners so why do we think it is easy for them to want to be full time dads married to the mom. Fortunately so far, he has no kids (or so he says). Ironic thing- he claims to be waiting for marriage. Insert eyeroll smiley here.
Click to expand...


This guy sounds like the guy I had to give the deuces to recently.
 
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