*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

aviddiva77 said:
"Man I can't f****** believe I fell in love with you you are a f****** joke keep on f****** with that mother f****r watch b**** what's going to happen"
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Umm, just ignore it, or respond with "wrong person?".

That text isn't worth getting the police involved...unless maybe it was definitely for you.
 
Tory Lanez y'all. My friend's shoes were blocking. How are you going to wear heels to a concert. My toes were numb and I had on combat boots. We somehow made it to the front and that niggrum, Tory, took my sunglasses (I had in contacts and experience light sensitivity. He also ran my hand down his body. People thought I was part of the act. He got to "LUV" and I lost it. It was tew much... so, yeah, we married now lol...

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I am kinda glad the night went that way, because I feel my cousin who ditched me would have been on some hoe shiddd. That is why I am not upset. She was texting me during the concert saying she may come through. She asked if I ended up going alone. I told her to come through, but I invited my friend and we met another girl there. I only knew three TL songs. It's about the experience, the adventure.
She asked me if I met any dudes. I told her we weren't on that vibe. This white arse hole was pushing me trying to make his way to the front. He was taller than me so if I don’t want you in front of me he should have respected it. But he was pushing me until he made a place for himself and literally evaded my space. I was so shocked. He thought that was okay.

So this one song came on during the Mick Jenkins set and I started straight throwing elbows. I kid you not. The couple that was once standing next to got knocked over a little and I apologized, and they were like, no we understand. I got a couple good licks in. Then these black men from St. Louis stood around me and was like I dare you to touch her again, you won't try that mess with us. It felt good to have all those black guys protecting me.
 
KiSseS03 said:
I'm having a hard time "embracing the single life" now that summer is over and I'm back to my regular book life. I feel like I waste way too much time thinking about men and I don't want to let my emotions (and hormones) allow me to settle. It's only been 5 months, this is fine.
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I had a great, relaxing and regrouping weekend. It provided me with the chance to revisit WHY I need to embrace my singledom. I am making so much self love progress, and I feel so amazing in my skin, I am also able to uplift myself in situations that make me feel vulnerable. I have also just started the first phase of my dream career journey and I am enjoying the process. I'm happy to let school be my focus along with continuing to develop into my happiest and most authentic self.

I think this inner work is really important so I'm going to continue to selfishly focus on me and intentionally not date. I'm working on retraining my mind to accept that being single is not a scarlet letter lol, but a happy/freeing/possibility filled moment in time. My last two relationship were completely mediocre and I think a lot of it had to do with me not prioritizing ME, recognizing how valuable I am, and the value of my time. I never want that to happen again so being patient right now is the right move for me. I have also, over the past 3 months, been putting together a list of the qualities that I want in my husband; getting really clear on the important things like shared values, how I want to feel and love languages. So when I do decide that I'm open to love my vetting process will be rock solid.
 
whenever i speak about mr
usa people have said how happy i look. last week it dawned on me that i'm falling in love with him :(
and it looks as though everyone knew before i did!

me - i think i'm falling in love with mr usa
friend one - "omg!! i'm glad you realise now
me - wait what?! how do you know?!
friend one - because its obvious!

Gosh i miss him.
 
So I got some booty this weekend :sekret:

I've known him for yearsssss but he's younger than me so I've never really paid him any mind but the last 2-3 years he grew into manly fineness but I just always admired from afar and never thought much of it because I'm good friends with his family but I guess he's been telling his parents he's going to marry me :look:

We've flirted and texted for months but I mainly did it for entertainment purposes lol but he invited me over to show me his new house and we ended up watching Luke Cage & talking about social issues :laugh: next thing I knew this young thing had me hemmed up against the couch whispering nasty stuff in my ear while I pulled on his locs. A girl can only take so much :naughtycouch:
 
cocomochaa said:
whenever i speak about mr
usa people have said how happy i look. last week it dawned on me that i'm falling in love with him :(
and it looks as though everyone knew before i did!

me - i think i'm falling in love with mr usa
friend one - "omg!! i'm glad you realise now
me - wait what?! how do you know?!
friend one - because its obvious!

Gosh i miss him.
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How long have y'all been together?
 
Had a date today... First meet sort of thing. He was 10 minutes late. Not really my type. Super nerdy, has a PhD in something, good job, talks super educated.
I think he was a little intimidated by me. But intrigued enough to ask for a second date right in the middle of the first date. I don't mind making new friends but I think he wants to go further.

Awesome on paper but no chemistry. And I really wish I could find the chemistry. He is one of those guys looking for something serious.
 
And funny thing- there was a black guy our age listening to us talking. We left when he was leaving too- I think he was laughing at the arrangement because he could tell I wasn't interested in the guy but trying to be polite. He made small convo with me as we all exited and he smiled. It was weird.
 
I went to a sports bar yesterday for brunch and foozball. I was with some wicked-smart people from a group I'm apart of so we got into a heated but friendly debate about the origins of black bourgeoisie complacency. The main dude steering the convo is a doctor who just moved here, he's cute and really smart, and not the typical college educated but non-reflective "smart" guy I meet. I'm intrigued....

We exchanged numbers. We'll see what happens.

Another guy who was eavesdropping on our convo said I was intimidating. Not that s*** again....its annoying.
 
Phoenix14 said:
How long have y'all been together?
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are we even together? i dunno. Quick summary - we met 2 years ago in the clurb when i was on holiday to the states - nothing happened. fast forward to May this year we reconnect - start talking regularly, skyping, emailing you name it. I flew over in Sept and spent a week with him in his world and now...i'm seeing how it goes i guess. the distance is offputting but he's trying to show me that we can make it work. sigh
 
Went roller skating with a girl group and as I was leaving this guy stopped me. He said he saw me go in but I was moving so fast. I said stalker much? We had a good 20 minute conversation in the parking lot. He is okay. He is from Cali, super chill, works for the University.

Got the stamp of approval from the girls...idk. I told my sister I am not in the market for a boyfriend for a good six months. I need to perform some self care exercises.

He texted, and I quote, "Best song by Baby face is in my head when will I see you again?"

I replied, "womp, womp..." lol
 
Y'all... I need help. Well not really, I just need someone to act as my conscience.

I told this guy about a friend I wanted to see in Michigan.. he was generous enough to buy me a plane ticket since he was going there anyways. Well, we planned a mini weekend around it with a ton of fun things to do. Tbh, I was more excited about the trip than I was about him. He was being very generous with me (explicitly said he's never spent so much money on one girl).. whatever. In my opinion, he was doing the bare minimum.... I'm an expensive habit.

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So last week week, I met two of his friends (guy & girl). The guy was enjoying me, but the girl was kind of standoffish (IDGAF.. and I'm sure I showed it). She apparently told his close friends about how spoiled I seemed and it got back to his *best* friends, who happen to also be his ex-girlfriends. They end up talking to him and he divulges EVERYTHING he's done with and/or for me. Of course, they think that I'm taking advantage of him, that I'm a gold digger, spoiled *****.... but get this.. these *****es threaten violence against me. WTF?!! These grown bicthes are like 10 years older than I am.

He talks to me, with his tail between his legs.. talking about how embarrassed he feels. I try my best to look concerned about his feelings. Then he says, "Maybe you should meet with them, so they can know that you're not a gold digger."

0mK1W.gif


Boy, bye. We ain't on Jerry Springer. **** your ratchet ass friends. I start laughing in his face.. obviously this wasn't the reaction he was looking for. Argument ensued. I left, he text me letting me know that he can't cancel the ticket because all the information was sent to my email. Not his. (HA HA!)

So, i'm thinking about being petty and using the ticket anyways. I do want to see my friend... Lol.
 
silverbuttons said:
Y'all... I need help. Well not really, I just need someone to act as my conscience.

I told this guy about a friend I wanted to see in Michigan.. he was generous enough to buy me a plane ticket since he was going there anyways. Well, we planned a mini weekend around it with a ton of fun things to do. Tbh, I was more excited about the trip than I was about him. He was being very generous with me (explicitly said he's never spent so much money on one girl).. whatever. In my opinion, he was doing the bare minimum.... I'm an expensive habit.

tumblr_njtnfoqCKf1s64jz1o1_500.gif


So last week week, I met two of his friends (guy & girl). The guy was enjoying me, but the girl was kind of standoffish (IDGAF.. and I'm sure I showed it). She apparently told his close friends about how spoiled I seemed and it got back to his *best* friends, who happen to also be his ex-girlfriends. They end up talking to him and he divulges EVERYTHING he's done with and/or for me. Of course, they think that I'm taking advantage of him, that I'm a gold digger, spoiled *****.... but get this.. these *****es threaten violence against me. WTF?!! These grown bicthes are like 10 years older than I am.

He talks to me, with his tail between his legs.. talking about how embarrassed he feels. I try my best to look concerned about his feelings. Then he says, "Maybe you should meet with them, so they can know that you're not a gold digger."

0mK1W.gif


Boy, bye. We ain't on Jerry Springer. **** your ratchet ass friends. I start laughing in his face.. obviously this wasn't the reaction he was looking for. Argument ensued. I left, he text me letting me know that he can't cancel the ticket because all the information was sent to my email. Not his. (HA HA!)

So, i'm thinking about being petty and using the ticket anyways. I do want to see my friend... Lol.
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Use the ticket! Don't let it go to waste lol. That's a crazy story, they are his exes, why do they even care.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
What's stopping you from getting to this?
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Mostly my brother's bs that he has dragged me and my mother into. But I'm not really content in any aspect of my life right now, so I'm focusing on other things, so I can later focus on being happily single lol.

For instance, my job contract is up in March, so I'm looking for another, higher paying one and rent is going up $300 so we're looking for a new place but we can't afford anywhere else.

ETA: Oh yes. I also have a very bad habit of comparing my life to the life of my peers and feeling inadequate because they are so far ahead of me.
 
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aviddiva77 said:
Mostly my brother's bs that he has dragged me and my mother into. But I'm not really content in any aspect of my life right now, so I'm focusing on other things, so I can later focus on being happily single lol.

For instance, my job contract is up in March, so I'm looking for another, higher paying one and rent is going up $300 so we're looking for a new place but we can't afford anywhere else.

ETA: Oh yes. I also have a very bad habit of comparing my life to the life of my peers and feeling inadequate because they are so far ahead of me.
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Well see that's the thing...being in a relationship doesn't automatically equal happy just like being single doesn't automatically equal unhappiness, hell the unhappiest time of my life was when I had a dude. I've never enjoyed life so much until I became single but I know it can be hard being content with yourself when it feels like nothing is coming together or how you want it to be but just remember that your season and time is just that....YOURS.

You can't compare your life to anyone else's because lets keep it real...people only show off the things that they want us to see, they ain't telling you that they're deep in debt, don't get along with their family, bout to get evicted, car on its last leg etc etc. I used to have this same problem until I started focusing on how far I've come and not where I was, it helps to put things in perspective!
 
UniquelyDivine said:
Well see that's the thing...being in a relationship doesn't automatically equal happy just like being single doesn't automatically equal unhappiness, hell the unhappiest time of my life was when I had a dude. I've never enjoyed life so much until I became single but I know it can be hard being content with yourself when it feels like nothing is coming together or how you want it to be but just remember that your season and time is just that....YOURS.

You can't compare your life to anyone else's because lets keep it real...people only show off the things that they want us to see, they ain't telling you that they're deep in debt, don't get along with their family, bout to get evicted, car on its last leg etc etc. I used to have this same problem until I started focusing on how far I've come and not where I was, it helps to put things in perspective!
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I don't want to be in a relationship though. Ok scratch that lol. I do eventually but I know now is not the time. I dont have the time/energy/work it will take to grow a healthy one.

But I want to learn to be happy as a single woman for more than a week before I get into one. Cuz like you said a relationship doesn't always bring happiness. It can bring a lot of chaos, destruction, pain. But being content/happy with yourself I think is a first step to being ready for a relationship.

I'm slowly taking relationships off the pedestal I put them on.

That is very true. I need to remember that. Think icebergs.

I think its also because I KNOW I can do better and I have the potential. I know my goal and I'm trying to jump to M when I'm barely done with A.
 
aviddiva77 said:
I don't want to be in a relationship though. Ok scratch that lol. I do eventually but I know now is not the time. I dont have the time/energy/work it will take to grow a healthy one.

But I want to learn to be happy as a single woman for more than a week before I get into one. Cuz like you said a relationship doesn't always bring happiness. It can bring a lot of chaos, destruction, pain. But being content/happy with yourself I think is a first step to being ready for a relationship.

I'm slowly taking relationships off the pedestal I put them on.

That is very true. I need to remember that. Think icebergs.

I think its also because I KNOW I can do better and I have the potential. I know my goal and I'm trying to jump to M when I'm barely done with A.
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Yes girl relationships are nice and I have fond memories of my exes but they also terrorized me lol so take this time and enjoy being stress free without a ninja up under you and in the meantime have some fun! Take trips, go out, get your body right, hair poppin, skin, nails whatever. Be selfish AF lol

And I'll just say this...I've been EXACTLY where you are, feeling behind on life, knowing I could do better and feeling frustrated beyond measure and I'm not trying to sound like a know it all or tell you something you're already doing because I noticed you said you know your goals but setting goals really does help as cliche as it sounds.

Once I started setting clear and attainable goals for myself I started knocking ish out the park and I'm still not even HALFWAY to where I want to be but reaching some of those goals helped me to reach a level of content that I didn't have before.
 
periwinklepeach said:
Use the ticket! Don't let it go to waste lol. That's a crazy story, they are his exes, why do they even care.
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I want to.... but I think it will give him hope. I know for sure you can cancel a plane ticket with just the CC information and a name. So either he's misinformed or waiting to see what I will do. Ain't nobody have time for his game.

aviddiva77 said:
I am so envious of yall in here. Men buying you plane tickets, got young sexy thangs dikking you down, roller rink, and even just finding peace of mind with being single.

Thank you ladies for sharing your experiences: good and bad.
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Have fun with it!
I'm still trying to get into the groove of things as well. My dating style is still too nonchalant and dismissive... it's not really a good way to build a good relationship.
 
I wonder if I will ever be loyal. #ohwell.

silverbuttons said:
My dating style is still too nonchalant and dismissive... it's not really a good way to build a good relationship.
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it's not but you sure as hell benefit a lot. The more dismissive the better :look:. imo anyway...

I don't like other dude, please let him go. The fact that he even told on you to others on the lil he does then pretty much called you a gold digger by hiding behind his friends to say so. #Trashycoward.

Bet he's a cancer :look:
 
FelaShrine said:
I wonder if I will ever be loyal. #ohwell.

it's not but you sure as hell benefit a lot. The more dismissive the better :look:. imo anyway...

I don't like other dude, please let him go. The fact that he even told on you to others on the lil he does then pretty much called you a gold digger by hiding behind his friends to say so. #Trashycoward.

Bet he's a cancer :look:
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More dismissive is better? :giggle:
He's been blocked since that night. I don't need that foolishness. But that email from Delta... He was a pisces. Lol!

I'm getting ready for homecoming next week. :gorgeous:
 
So remember I'm dating an older guy (I'm 27 & he's 38) but this has been going on for 3 years now (we have be off lately but we went out Saturday night). But he put me on his IG & had the nerve to say why won't I put him on mine lol cause I'm single dude lol
 
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