*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

I had sex with the wrong person. UGH. Now I have to wait to have sex with the person I want to. If he even still wants to have sex with me. Then again if I eant to have sex with him so badly maybe I have feelings for him. It maybe it's because the person I did have sex with didn't satisfy me and I'm jumping ship. Not my fault he had a small peen and lasted like 3 minutes.
 
aviddiva77 said:
I had sex with the wrong person. UGH. Now I have to wait to have sex with the person I want to. If he even still wants to have sex with me. Then again if I eant to have sex with him so badly maybe I have feelings for him. It maybe it's because the person I did have sex with didn't satisfy me and I'm jumping ship. Not my fault he had a small peen and lasted like 3 minutes.
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So youre not a virgin anymore?!?!?!!
 
aviddiva77 said:
I had sex with the wrong person. UGH. Now I have to wait to have sex with the person I want to. If he even still wants to have sex with me. Then again if I eant to have sex with him so badly maybe I have feelings for him. It maybe it's because the person I did have sex with didn't satisfy me and I'm jumping ship. Not my fault he had a small peen and lasted like 3 minutes.
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Um excuse me? You did what?

tumblr_mfvm0084kc1qbbb7uo2_250.gif
 
movingforward13 said:
And he cancelled. Some family emergency happened and he had to take a rain check. Then he proceeds to screen shot the text messages of what is going on to show as proof. Says he will make it up to me (make what up- we were just meeting up for a drink).

But it is ok- I got some great news today. A former coworker left the government and started working for himself (government contracts). He has been doing well and we kept in contact from time to time. Well he hit me up today and said he is working on 3 contracts and he would like me to be his accountant for those contracts. Since I will soon have my license, he is more than happy to compensate me with far more than I would have asked. So now my mind is on money.... If everything works out and he is granted the contracts, next year will be a very great year financially for us.
Later for love?
Click to expand...
Sounds like great news and opportunity! Just take every moment as it comes - live in it. Enjoy the ride!

"Every moment, if it is genuinely inside you, brings what you need." Rumi
 
As requested by @aviddiva77 I have an update

Brad and I are dating. I've been involved with Brad for a few months but we dtr'd sometime in late August or early September. This came after 2 major events.

1.)I started talking to PJ again. I really liked him. He had all the qualities that I thought I wanted. Literally everything. But something didn't feel comfortable. Maybe it's just that he was still relatively new in my life. I was still talking to and fcking Brad on a regular basis. I tell Brad everything and he didn't like that I was still talking to PJ. He wouldn't say "I'm jealous" but I could tell.

Brad and I have talked about being together in a relationship but both of us were hesitant because I have a history of not being a good girlfriend and he has zero experience. I'm just selfish really. We both agreed that we would like to be exclusive. One day I decided I was going to break it off with PJ and he was like ok cool and that broke my heart. He said that if you do this the chances of us being together again is 5%. When he said that every fiber of my being wanted to back pedal on that statement. I just like options. So after I said that I took it back but I already told Brad I was gonna do it. Then when I came home Brad came over and he was livid when he found out I went back on my word and gave me an ultimatum: Either you leave him alone or I'm taking myself out of this situation permanently. I'm never talking to you again. When he said that my heart dropped out of my chest because he's not only my lover but he was my close friend before and I don't have many friends in real life. I keep a small circle because I can't keep up with the nonsense. So basically Brad had me call PJ right there at my house and break it off permanently. That was one of the hardest things I think I've ever had to do. Then this nig.ga has the nerve to tell me "I'm not ready for a relationship right now" I'm sorry what? So I cursed his ass out. FU.CK you mean?? I go through that for you and you hit me with this shi.t?? Anyway. I straightened that out real quick.

2.) My mom walked in on us about to get it in. Real talk. So I live in a house that my mom owns. She lives on the south side, I live on the north side. 50 miles apart. She usually comes to check up on me on sunday but this was wednesday. Caught me all the way off guard. She didn't know about Brad, or any of the guys I've been seeing actually. So she yelled it out, got it out of her system. She asked Brad if we were dating and he said yes (though he didn't tell me this) Afterward she said she liked him. So later that day we dtr'd and now we're together.

It's been a great few weeks. Sex is great. Snuggles are nice. He's supportive of most things I wan to do. He's probably the voice of reason when I get off track. Very sweet and funny.

Here is what I don't like.

He's a Libra...
He's lazy, unmotivated, however he just got a job after quitting his last job in March. He was one lazy **** between march and august.
He does not have a drivers license but he parents have a truck for him when he does get it. He doesn't go to school even thought his dad is a veteran and with that he could probably go to some of the better state school with very little debt but won't even do his core college classes no matter how much I ask. We had our first real argument over that. He wants me to believe in him that he's got it under control. Idk man. He likes art. I tell him don't make that your major because he doesn't like being told what to draw or paint but he is very talented.

I think it's just something about being with someone you've known for half your life. It's very comfortable. Or maybe it's just because this relationship developed so naturally. I didn't go out looking for it, it kinda found me. Dude from around the way, literally. Insert LLCool J around the way girl.
=
Here's the thing.
Brad does not like that guys from my past keep hitting me up for unspeakable favors. I fee bad because I never cut it off with them and they don't know what's going on and I don't have the balls to tell them.
Like Mel.
I think I talked about this but Mel and I used to work together. I wasn't feeling him but he always wanted me so we reconnected on social media and we ended up at his house and I left around 2am. That was so uncomfortable for me but I pushed through it. We did not have sex but...yea. I told him that I didn't want a relationship and I just wanted someone to vibe with and I just let him think I wanted to vibe with him which is a hell no. So he doesn't know I'm with Brad now.

And then Dee who is this older guy I met on POF (27) he wants to kitty so bad it's kinda crazy. I told him I'm the kind of person who needs space which I am but he'll text me and I straight up will not respond out of fatigue. I can't deal with peple hitting me up so frequently. I just need to block them that's what I need to do.

Oh and also, Brad is no longer a stranger to the box. He's well acquainted.

Wow that was long but there it is.

Happy @aviddiva77 ?
 
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girlonfire said:
As requested by @aviddiva77 I have an update

Brad and I are dating. I've been involved with Brad for a few months but we dtr'd sometime in late August or early September. This came after 2 major events.

1.)I started talking to PJ again. I really liked him. He had all the qualities that I thought I wanted. Literally everything. But something didn't feel comfortable. Maybe it's just that he was still relatively new in my life. I was still talking to and fcking Brad on a regular basis. I tell Brad everything and he didn't like that I was still talking to PJ. He wouldn't say "I'm jealous" but I could tell.

Brad and I have talked about being together in a relationship but both of us were hesitant because I have a history of not being a good girlfriend and he has zero experience. I'm just selfish really. We both agreed that we would like to be exclusive. One day I decided I was going to break it off with PJ and he was like ok cool and that broke my heart. He said that if you do this the chances of us being together again is 5%. When he said that every fiber of my being wanted to back pedal on that statement. I just like options. So after I said that I took it back but I already told Brad I was gonna do it. Then when I came home Brad came over and he was livid when he found out I went back on my word and gave me an ultimatum: Either you leave him alone or I'm taking myself out of this situation permanently. I'm never talking to you again. When he said that my heart dropped out of my chest because he's not only my lover but he was my close friend before and I don't have many friends in real life. I keep a small circle because I can't keep up with the nonsense. So basically Brad had me call PJ right there at my house and break it off permanently. That was one of the hardest things I think I've ever had to do. Then this nig.ga has the nerve to tell me "I'm not ready for a relationship right now" I'm sorry what? So I cursed his ass out. FU.CK you mean?? I go through that for you and you hit me with this shi.t?? Anyway. I straightened that out real quick.

2.) My mom walked in on us about to get it in. Real talk. So I live in a house that my mom owns. She lives on the south side, I live on the north side. 50 miles apart. She usually comes to check up on me on sunday but this was wednesday. Caught me all the way off guard. She didn't know about Brad, or any of the guys I've been seeing actually. So she yelled it out, got it out of her system. She asked Brad if we were dating and he said yes (though he didn't tell me this) Afterward she said she liked him. So later that day we dtr'd and now we're together.

It's been a great few weeks. Sex is great. Snuggles are nice. He's supportive of most things I wan to do. He's probably the voice of reason when I get off track. Very sweet and funny.

Here is what I don't like.

He's a Libra...
He's lazy, unmotivated, however he just got a job after quitting his last job in March. He was one lazy **** between march and august.
He does not have a drivers license but he parents have a truck for him when he does get it. He doesn't go to school even thought his dad is a veteran and with that he could probably go to some of the better state school with very little debt but won't even do his core college classes no matter how much I ask. We had our first real argument over that. He wants me to believe in him that he's got it under control. Idk man. He likes art. I tell him don't make that your major because he doesn't like being told what to draw or paint but he is very talented.

I think it's just something about being with someone you've known for half your life. It's very comfortable. Or maybe it's just because this relationship developed so naturally. I didn't go out looking for it, it kinda found me. Dude from around the way, literally. Insert LLCool J around the way girl.
=
Here's the thing.
Brad does not like that guys from my past keep hitting me up for unspeakable favors. I fee bad because I never cut it off with them and they don't know what's going on and I don't have the balls to tell them.
Like Mel.
I think I talked about this but Mel and I used to work together. I wasn't feeling him but he always wanted me so we reconnected on social media and we ended up at his house and I left around 2am. That was so uncomfortable for me but I pushed through it. We did not have sex but...yea. I told him that I didn't want a relationship and I just wanted someone to vibe with and I just let him think I wanted to vibe with him which is a hell no. So he doesn't know I'm with Brad now.

And then Dee who is this older guy I met on POF (27) he wants to kitty so bad it's kinda crazy. I told him I'm the kind of person who needs space which I am but he'll text me and I straight up will not respond out of fatigue. I can't deal with peple hitting me up so frequently. I just need to block them that's what I need to do.

Oh and also, Brad is no longer a stranger to the box. He's well acquainted.

Wow that was long but there it is.

Happy @aviddiva77 ?
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VERY! Thank you m'lady. You know I love you and just want to make sure you're ok :hug2::kiss:
 
OMG, another rant....

Romain or whatever his name is from Houston hits me up talking about send him a picture a guy he met at the bar said he knew me & that me & this guy had been sleeping together. Now clearly I knew this was a complete lie & because me & my sister were watching power this extra bit of entertainment gave us a good laugh. This boy is so childish. How did I let him in, ughhh I shall make better choices in my love life. I whole heartedly regret getting with him whyyyy

IMG_0275.PNG IMG_0276.PNG
 
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What is the point of being in a relationship for yall?

I am finding that I truly don't know. I don't need any help doing anything..not from a non family member at least. It's nice that someone is around and cares...but again, I have friends and family. Sex? I can have sex whenever.

To grow with someone? That doesn't really interest me, cuz I'm growing and will continue to do so by myself.

I have a remote control app on my phone. I have taken to turning the volumes on TVs up really loudly in random public places and running out :rofl: it is so much fun!!! Highly reccomended!

Ive also started farting in public, whenever I need to fart :lachen: I think people do this already lol, but I used to be one of those people who cared and had decorum. Not anymore! :lachen:
 
qchelle said:
What is the point of being in a relationship for yall?

I am finding that I truly don't know. I don't need any help doing anything..not from a non family member at least. It's nice that someone is around and cares...but again, I have friends and family. Sex? I can have sex whenever.

To grow with someone? That doesn't really interest me, cuz I'm growing and will continue to do so by myself.

I have a remote control app on my phone. I have taken to turning the volumes on TVs up really loudly in random public places and running out :rofl: it is so much fun!!! Highly reccomended!

Ive also started farting in public, whenever I need to fart :lachen: I think people do this already lol, but I used to be one of those people who cared and had decorum. Not anymore! :lachen:
Click to expand...

For me, it's because I value companionship and I want to have a family. I love my friends and we hang out all the time, but that's a different relationship than the one I have with my boyfriend.

I choose not to have sex with someone I'm not in a serious relationship with, so that would be out of the question.

I want children and won't bring them into this world without married, loving parents. I know anything can happen, but it's important to me.

Plus I want to get married. I always have. I can't do that if I'm not in a relationship.
 
qchelle said:
What is the point of being in a relationship for yall?

I am finding that I truly don't know. I don't need any help doing anything..not from a non family member at least. It's nice that someone is around and cares...but again, I have friends and family. Sex? I can have sex whenever.

To grow with someone? That doesn't really interest me, cuz I'm growing and will continue to do so by myself.
Click to expand...

Because studies have shown that children do better in a two parent household :look: and I would hopefully get sex when I wanted it. And I get someone to do all the hard ish I have to do myself: put stuff together, kill spiders, take my car to the shop, put air in my tires, lift heavy things. Oh and all that love crap I guess...:look: but seriously mostly that study and doing the hard ish.
qchelle said:
I have a remote control app on my phone. I have taken to turning the volumes on TVs up really loudly in random public places and running out :rofl: it is so much fun!!! Highly reccomended!

Ive also started farting in public, whenever I need to fart :lachen: I think people do this already lol, but I used to be one of those people who cared and had decorum. Not anymore! :lachen:
Click to expand...
You started off so dang serious only to end with public farting. Lawd. That's grandma status. They don't give a fluck when they fart. Just having people pass out on the cereal aisle.
 
toaster said:
For me, it's because I value companionship and I want to have a family. I love my friends and we hang out all the time, but that's a different relationship than the one I have with my boyfriend.

I choose not to have sex with someone I'm not in a serious relationship with, so that would be out of the question.

I want children and won't bring them into this world without married, loving parents. I know anything can happen, but it's important to me.

Plus I want to get married. I always have. I can't do that if I'm not in a relationship.
Click to expand...

Thanks for responding!

Hmmm. I don't think I place a high value on companionship. I always find it weird when people say "I want a family"/"i want to start a family". I'm like don't you have/belong to a family already? Lol (Not talking to just you, just in general)

I've never been interested in having children...like it would be great if I had them and great if I didn't.

And then I've never cared about getting married either.
 
qchelle said:
Thanks for responding!

Hmmm. I don't think I place a high value on companionship. I always find it weird when people say "I want a family"/"i want to start a family". I'm like don't you have/belong to a family already? Lol (Not talking to just you, just in general)

I've never been interested in having children...like it would be great if I had them and great if I didn't.

And then I've never cared about getting married either.
Click to expand...

I get it. I love my family. But as my grandparents got older and started passing away I saw how my mother and her siblings relied on the family they created (husbands, wives, children) and how difficult it was for my aunt who doesn't have that.

The only reason we have families is because people chose to be together and procreate.

Maybe think of a relationship as adding a bonus member to your family?
 
I was in the Small Talk thread and I realized that I don't let people get to know me in dating or everyday life. I ask TONS of questions and follow up questions. It might be because I'm nosy. Or it might be because I sense that they don't WANT to know me so why bother (If they dont ask they're not interested). Or it could be that I don't want them to get to know me. Vulnerability issue.

I think I've had so many times where I've taken a chance and opened up and it was either used against me or they didn't care, so I stopped. Has anyone struggled with this and overcame it?
 
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Dposh167 said:
So this month will be a year since my ex of 6 years (who cheated on me with some girl from instagram :rolleyes:) and I broke up. It feels good to be out that relationship. I can comfortably say that NOW. I had all of his social media blocked from computer for the last year. But I thought I'd be nosy and see what's up with him. I see he is not in a relationship but is now looking for a wife o_Oo_O. Of course he would be looking for a wife now. :rolleyes:. Good luck to the woman who gets you. Glad i dodged the bullet.

I've been dating this new guy I met from okc for 9 months now. Yes 9 months lol. We met not too soon after I broke up my heart was still broken. He understood I wasn't in a place to jump into another relationship and told me to take my time getting back to "me". It honestly took a whole year to get back to "me" and I can say that now I'd be ready to explore a relationship. Still not pressed to be a girlfriend right now tho. He isn't pressuring me tho. I've never dated someone unofficially this long before so it feels weird. But I'm not ready to jump into another relationship just yet. He says he isn't going anywhere and we have something special that is worth the wait. Hmmm
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Good for you. I would not be surprised however if when you are actually ready for a relationship, it won't be with the person you're dating right now.
 
Browndilocks said:
Good for you. I would not be surprised however if when you are actually ready for a relationship, it won't be with the person you're dating right now.
Click to expand...
Idk. It could be. He checks off a lot of qualities I like. I thought I was gonna marry my ex of 6 years and look how that turned out. So my mind is open to all possibilities now
 
Ok y'all my head done got big.... Need to pull myself back down to Earth. I finished my last CPA exam *yay* and finished up the paperwork process for my license...

So now I am looking around dating wise. On the dating websites two guys asked me what a CPA even was in the conversation of what do you do. They both thought it was a nurse.
I was a bit offended-
A. Google- come across like you have SOME knowledge;
B. CPAs rank up there with professional licenses like JDs and MDs.... So please DON'T.
Maybe my head just too big right now- but still.

If there is a guy I am interested in, I learn about him. Google his interests and learn something so I can ask intelligent questions about it. I swear I told one of them "I am a Certified Public Accountant" and his response "Oh so that means you are some sort of an accountant right?"
BLOCKED'T

Cuffing season must be real- I am getting a lot of responses now to my profiles. Mainly men I wouldn't even look twice at. But I am vetting each one to make sure the no is a solid no. I have thrown away diamonds before.... Diamonds that are married now.

My "homeboy" W (the one of 10 years) hit me up to congratulate me on passing my exams. He wants to take me out on 10/1. I just realized that is in 3 days. He is telling me how awesome I am, smart, beautiful, etc. and that he is so proud of me. I said thanks but I am like where was all this when you knew I wanted to date you. I haven't changed. I am still me. Whatever.

Lee came by to see us again. Spent some time with us playing games. My son gave him a hug and kiss on Lee's way out. That shocked the both of us- but now I am like can Lee be "Uncle Lee" because I am dating. I already messed up by letting them get so close but at the end of the day, my son can use all the male figures he can get. I don't know any one in DC besides Lee. Lee still has it for me though- he isn't happy about me dating. He still has a piece of my heart- maybe we could do something later. He is bringing his daughter over to meet my son this weekend. They are the same age so I will do a project with them.

Gonna keep doing me in this dating pool, especially now since I am done with studying. Taking a much well needed break before I start my next certification. I have a haunted house to go to, a skating rink to ice skate in, and a Christmas tree to decorate. Most of these are GREAT date ideas.
 
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