ms.tatiana
Well-Known Member
I tell people all the time he is handsome. Going to the concert this Sunday and I have backstage passes, I wanna see him up close too.
*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*
- Thread starter DarkJoy
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KiSseS03
Well-Known Member
This guy turned out to be a total F*ckboy.
We had been flirting at several orientation events, he was overly charming which I'm always leery about. He even briefly kissed me last Saturday. I put a stop to it, because our classmates were there but the way he was all in my ear I know that he would have taken me home in a minute.
Anyway, last night I was out socializing with my classmates and he was there with some of the people in his year. As I was dancing and talking to him, a girl in his class, who: 1) I've met; 2) has been super sweet to me thus far; and 3) who comes from the same small town as ME, was looking at us.
He turns to me and says, I love that girl (referring to the girl that was staring). I was like, huh? Are you dating her?
He then tells me, no, because he's not ready to give up dancing with beautiful girls like me yet. I was like
and walked away.I later spoke to the girl, and she tells me that they're in a relationship and she has no issues with him dancing with other women. That poor girl, she either doesn't know or doesn't care that he's out there kissing other people (and probably more!) and not even claiming her. All I could think of was the "Men Don't Love Women Like You" book, she's wasting her youth and beauty as a Placeholder.
I dodged a bullet!
On another note, I had a great time despite those early shenanigans. I gave my number to two potentials, so we shall see
UniquelyDivine
Well-Known Member
He reallyyyyyy is handsome, cheekbones popping and those crispy locks. You're going to have a blast!!!!
movingforward13
I do what I want...
So DMV- tell me, why don't your men have vehicles. Yes, I understand Metro- but this isn't New York. Metro shuts off at some point.
Plus- what do you do when you want to go somewhere? Uber is expensive.
Forgive me- I didn't grow up in a metro area do I don't understand how people don't drive. Me and my Timmeh are best friends. Am I cutting off potentials because they don't drive and want me to come to them for dates in DC... And I refuse???
I tried it once and the guy thought I was his personal chauffeur.
Plus- what do you do when you want to go somewhere? Uber is expensive.
Forgive me- I didn't grow up in a metro area do I don't understand how people don't drive. Me and my Timmeh are best friends. Am I cutting off potentials because they don't drive and want me to come to them for dates in DC... And I refuse???
I tried it once and the guy thought I was his personal chauffeur.
qchelle
Well-Known Member
I knowwwww. I met quite a few dudes who didn't have cars, living in dc. I asked the dmv ladies here, and a couple of them said lots of the guys they met DID have cars. So then I stopped giving non car having guys chances lol. And I started meeting guys who did have cars, too!
qchelle
Well-Known Member
I have another question. If your dude made a goal of his/accomplishment that's worth celebrating. And yall were gonna see each other soon. But you had things that you needed done at your house, things that you wanted him to pick up and bring before he got there. Basically, you had some light 'work' for him, as per usual 
Would you wait until the accomplishment thing is old news? You know? Like a 'his time to shine' thing. Or would you not care and ask for everything anyway?
The person in question is leaning towards asking for everything anyway But thought she'd get opinions anyway.
Eta: oh nevermind. This is dumb. I'm getting everything lmao. I'll just be extra nice to him lmaooo.
Would you wait until the accomplishment thing is old news? You know? Like a 'his time to shine' thing. Or would you not care and ask for everything anyway? The person in question is leaning towards asking for everything anyway
But thought she'd get opinions anyway.Eta: oh nevermind. This is dumb. I'm getting everything lmao. I'll just be extra nice to him lmaooo.
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HappyMadison
Kanye's Surrogate
Two faux pas. Using a coworker as a placeholder. Sleeping with said coworker, because the peen is good. I am sipping too. 'Cuse me.
He just mentioned taking my son to play with his nephew and how I want someone who won't play any games. I am guessing that is him.
He is okay. Corny, most of the time. Not the least bit suave like the type I normally go for. Those 00 aloof types...the playgirl. Hmm. He will not wear me down.
He just mentioned taking my son to play with his nephew and how I want someone who won't play any games. I am guessing that is him.
He is okay. Corny, most of the time. Not the least bit suave like the type I normally go for. Those 00 aloof types...the playgirl. Hmm. He will not wear me down.
HappyMadison
Kanye's Surrogate
I am going back to my 00s...I cannot. Not in my nature
No car = scrub (in my book)
I'm a native Washingtonian and "the Metro" has never and will never be on par with NYCs system.
DC has never had a "no car" culture for people over 22 years old. Any man who tells you otherwise is lying and most likely broke.
C@ssandr@
formerly known as "keyawarren"
I've been smiling at dudes and making eye contact. It feels nice, but im getting approached by the men that I'm not interested in. It would seem silly to tell them that I have a man after I eye flirted with them smh.
How are y'all doing this effectively?
How are y'all doing this effectively?
movingforward13
I do what I want...
I would have agreed with you, but a friend (that I went to middle school with) doesn't have a car either. Neither does any of her roommates (girls). And these ladies have GOOD paying jobs- Masters and PhD educated, working in their fields. I asked her why no car and she said she didn't feel the need to get one. Parking it somewhere was just another bill, besides the car note, insurance, taxes, etc. Same with paying high a$$ DC rent when I asked her why get a roommate.
Cutting down the excess helped her pay off her MBA quicker and save money.
Not knocking DC living- because it seemed even the 30+ year old white folks I worked with lived with roommates and didn't have a car but I couldn't do it. I guess that is why I live in the outskirts. I make a pretty nice salary but I am still tight every month. I pay over $17K a year in rent but I don't have roommates and I have my Timmeh, so I guess that is the trade off.
C@ssandr@
formerly known as "keyawarren"
The rules aren't the same when it comes to women, imo.
That's what I was just coming in to say.
Having guaranteed and reliable transportation is a measure of masculinity. Women aren't expected to have a car - men are.
WhoIAm
Well-Known Member
I went out with a group of women a while ago. The first one got there and sat at the bar while waiting for the group. She was chatting with a much older yt guy . When we were heading to her table, he offered her to buy her and the rest of us drinks. She declined. I asked her why, she said because she was married. I tripped out, hard. I took it as the man was thanking her for her company at the bar. She thought it was something else. It's a f***ing drink.
Don't be rude. Take the drink, smile and say thank you and KIM.
sgold04
Well-Known Member
I don't smile and make eye contact toward men I have no interest in when I'm out and about. What's the purpose of this? Men interpret any sign of friendliness as flirting/lust (in my experience) so I'm careful to not give off those vibes unless I want to be approached my that man.
movingforward13
I do what I want...
Why is that? I mean, we teach our daughters to be self sufficient and not to need a man incase he leaves her.
I am going to teach my son not to pursue a woman who wasn't self sufficient before they met. Yes, I want him to be the head of the house and etc. but I feel that the woman he marries should know what it is like to fend for herself, be a partner, and contribute. If he decides to completely take care of her after marriage- that is his business but he wouldn't be a smart man to pick up a woman who has nothing when he meets her, my opinion.
We demand equality but stop when the rules don't benefit us (generally speaking), such as the military draft and dating...
Interesting. I never thought of it that way, but then again I always lived in areas where cars were necessary. It wasn't a sex thing, it was tied to what makes sense and what gave better opportunities.
I am learning that in DMV this is what made sense out here. My white coworkers are 30+, two are even married and they all have roommates and no vehicle. I am just not use to this set up because I lived in a non- Metro area for 30+ years- hence my vent above.
C@ssandr@
formerly known as "keyawarren"
So far its been good til the dude opens his mouth. Sigh.
The guy I met yesterday is a "music producer", that used to work in construction
Fortunately, he asked me to put his number in his phone instead of the other way around...so I can just delete it now, lol.
You can't compare White culture to Black culture in the DMV.
A black working married couple is NOT finna have roommates and then not have a car on top of it
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sgold04
Well-Known Member
So far its been good til the dude opens his mouth. Sigh.
The guy I met yesterday is a "music producer", that used to work in construction
Fortunately, he asked me to put his number in his phone instead of the other way around...so I can just delete it now, lol.
Music producer.....I'm focusing on being choosey instead of being chosen, if I see someone that strikes my fancy, I let em know it. Other than that, nope. Now in group settings I smile more and engage with men I'm not interested in, but that's just my personality in general. I had to cut that stuff out on the streets though.
C@ssandr@
formerly known as "keyawarren"
I'm focusing on being choosey instead of being chosen, if I see someone that strikes my fancy, I let em know it. Other than that, nope. Now in group settings I smile more and engage with men I'm not interested in, but that's just my personality in general. I had to cut that stuff out on the streets though.
Makes sense. I'm learning as I go along. After meeting that dude yesterday I realized that I have to refine the process.
movingforward13
I do what I want...
This may be a good discussion for another post.
I have talked about this with men on other forums and they feel it is messed up how it is OK for women to live at home with their parents, not have cars, not have an education and still expect a man to take care of them, pursue them, etc. But if a man was living at home to save money, or didn't have a vehicle, he wouldn't get any play.
A lot of them have now reverted to the "Can you give what you are demanding" mantra. I am seeing that on the dating profiles.
I personally will not date a man with no vehicle or doesn't live on his own but my reasons are more logistic based. If you never lived on your own- do you know how to pay bills and budget. I think one (man or woman) also needs that "quiet" so they can appreciate it before marriage.
I live on the outskirts of DC- so if a man wants to date me, he would need a vehicle to see me. I don't go into DC much and I will not be making most of the trips.
If I lived inside DC, maybe I would relax on the car stance because he could get to me easier and driving in DC is horrible so I wouldn't expect it any way.
sgold04
Well-Known Member
I agree. Every man I dated in DC had a car. It was the white folks who rode bikes and used the metro as their main source of transport. The metro system isn't that extensive to get by without it, especially if you want to leave the city at all. I'd only date a man without a car in NYC.You can't compare White culture to Black culture in the DMV.
A black working married couple is NOT finna have roommates and then not have a car on top of it
The men who are crying about women not being equal but expecting more are bums and that rule only apply to the bum chicks that they are mad they have to settle for (in their eyes).
They don't expect anything from the women they truly want to be with.
movingforward13
I do what I want...
Guess so.... But I did point that out for a reason.You can't compare White culture to Black culture in the DMV.
A black working married couple is NOT finna have roommates and then not have a car on top of it
Black people tend live in more poverty than the other races. A black family is like 300 years behind a white family in terms of wealth.
I think our thought processes have something to do with it. Rather than thinking how can we save money (roommates/no car, etc.), we don't. Our daughters are out the house by 18, sometimes having her own family before she is fully educated, married, with a career (or a husband that has a career) whereas our white, Asian, Indian counterparts are fairing much better.
I know that isn't the sole reason- but it seems to be a contributing factor.
movingforward13
I do what I want...
movingforward13
I do what I want...
Too funny.And once I started nixing guys who didn't have cars, and meeting ones with them....the ones who did would tell me that they don't like dating women without cars!
So far I have met 4 without cars. Gave one a chance- that didn't end too well. Told the other 3 that I didn't want to go any further because not having a car complicated things.
All the men outside DC have cars. Maybe it is a rent thing- the higher your rent, the less likely you will have a vehicle. I dunno. But DC rent ain't cheap.
qchelle
Well-Known Member
Well. I'm in Atlanta with 2 friends. They're single single and actively looking to mingle. We were at this bar last night and these 2 guys came and sat near us and we started talking. 1 of the guys kept ****ing talking to me. Hes a sniper in the military and had a really stoic demeanor lol. Well they invited us to this house party. And of course my friends wanted to go. I didn't, but I didn't say that lol. So we went. In this strange man's car. I don't know why I hang out with these friends. I must don't value my life lol. I told them I'm not coming on the Atlanta trip next year. Cuz this ain't my scene.
sgold04
Well-Known Member
Black families are 300 years behind white families for a reason. Gov't policies that lifted white families out of poverty and created generational wealth (the homestead act, GI bills, etc) were off limits to blacks. Choosing to live solo and owning a car are not responsible for the gap. Also, Indians are allowed to come here on high level visas, they ain't starting from the bottom, and Asians are not a homogenous, high achieving group like the media would have us think. I come from a city with a large, POOR Asian community (Vietnamese and Cambodian) that struggles with the same issues as poor black communities (gangs, drugs, etc).
If we look at black folks in poverty, they are living with cousins, aunts, parents, grandparents, etc.
For middle class folks, there's a difference between living with people to save money and pay off debt, and living with people cuz you're a bum. I personally (LHCF may think differently) had no issue dating a man with roommates in DC, the ones I dated were saving for houses (one is closing on a house now). We also have to add to the mix that our economic opportunities are based on geography, so while I'd love to live with family for a year, my family doesn't live where the high paying jobs are in my career. If I stayed home in my town in Cali, I'd probably have a couple kids and a decent job in the school district with a mediocre wage, but one that made no impact on kids lives.
Also, because of economic and racial segregation: for many whites, well-to-do Asians, and Indians, living at home means living in good neighborhoods, but that's not necessarily the case for black folks.
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