*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

ScorpioBeauty09 said:
I guess lol but what do you mean by hot spots?
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fun spots? Are you looking for black men? If so I recommend the Mixology stuff, and any of the black professional group happy hours (East Bay Black professionals, YBB), Sushi Sundays. Basically casual settings where people just show up and kick it. Anything that's billed as a networking event usually doesn't work. My friends do a Saturday per month at Lake Merritt, lots of men there. Now the non-blacks I can't be sure.
 
RoundEyedGirl504 said:
fun spots? Are you looking for black men? If so I recommend the Mixology stuff, and any of the black professional group happy hours (East Bay Black professionals, YBB), Sushi Sundays. Basically casual settings where people just show up and kick it. Anything that's billed as a networking event usually doesn't work. My friends do a Saturday per month at Lake Merritt, lots of men there. Now the non-blacks I can't be sure.
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I'm open to anyone not white. :look: Thanks for the info.
 
RoundEyedGirl504 said:
fun spots? Are you looking for black men? If so I recommend the Mixology stuff, and any of the black professional group happy hours (East Bay Black professionals, YBB), Sushi Sundays. Basically casual settings where people just show up and kick it. Anything that's billed as a networking event usually doesn't work. My friends do a Saturday per month at Lake Merritt, lots of men there. Now the non-blacks I can't be sure.
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I read somewhere that men don't like to be told how to date/what to do, which is why they are no-shows to events that are obviously billed for meeting chicks.

I stop frequenting speed dating events for that reason.
 
qchelle said:
Anyone know any good happy hour spots near union station?
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H Street has quite a few bars and restaurants. Smith Commons is Black owned. I've only been for brunch, but they do happy hour, and I believe they have a rooftop deck. Red Rocks also has a rooftop bar. I went after dinner once and the inside felt clubbish but the bar on the roof was cool. There are other places on H but I can't remember the names. It's about 10 minutes from union station, driving.

Oh, there's a beer garden too on H that is massive on the inside. I like their outdoor area too.
 
He really just pissed me off.

So you know we didn't talk for almost 2 weeks & you start blowing up my phone. So day 1 talking we cool nothing heavy, just catching up. Day 2 I'm like so what's up with us and he tells me I need to get my sh*t together. I'm like what? He's like 1 day you don't wanna talk to me, you won't answer my calls or texts, & you say leave you alone, but now you wanna know what's up with us "Get it together"

Why would he switch it up on me, I only got distant because he acted like he couldn't answer my calls or texts & his didn't appreciate me. Now he like talk to me when you know what you want. This game is getting old cause I want him he knows that but he is playing games with me.
 
sgold04 said:
H Street has quite a few bars and restaurants. Smith Commons is Black owned. I've only been for brunch, but they do happy hour, and I believe they have a rooftop deck. Red Rocks also has a rooftop bar. I went after dinner once and the inside felt clubbish but the bar on the roof was cool. There are other places on H but I can't remember the names. It's about 10 minutes from union station, driving.

Oh, there's a beer garden too on H that is massive on the inside. I like their outdoor area too.
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Thank you! I went with a friend. We decided on red rocks. Loved the vibe! And the food was good, too.

I don't think I'd ever been to H street. I must say, I do not like those damn street cars!!
 
qchelle said:
Thank you! I went with a friend. We decided on red rocks. Loved the vibe! And the food was good, too.

I don't think I'd ever been to H street. I must say, I do not like those damn street cars!!
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Yay! I'm glad you liked it. I lived in Northeast so I was on H street all the time. I miss DC :(

Everyone hates those damn street cars, such a waste of money and space.
 
Man this dating stuff is rough.... But my pimp hand is strong *slap, slap*

I have thrown back 99% of my catches in the last 6ish weeks.
The few I did consider- one turned out to be married- I sent his wife proof her husband was cheating via Facebook once I found out. Another (after I told him that I am not seeking sex) proceeded to tell me he is too big to handle so that is why he hasn't gotten in a relationship, complete with picture. The d!ck was big but WTF- NO! The third- wanted to ask intimate questions, even after I told him- I am not f@cking until I am ready because I really wanted to get to know someone.

These men are bold. Especially that married one. According to the Facebook post- he was married in April. We met early August.
 
@hopeful
Your absolutely right. I can't get my heart to feel that way but my brain knows what's up. Uggh just sucks when you genuinely love & want someone and they can't act right?


hopeful said:
@ms.tatiana
I'd just leave him be. Just keep it light and let him initiate "relationship" talk or move on. He either appreciates you or he doesn't. You can't convince him to or get him to by ignoring him. And you don't deserve to be talked to like that.
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ms.tatiana said:
@hopeful
Your absolutely right. I can't get my heart to feel that way but my brain knows what's up. Uggh just sucks when you genuinely love & want someone and they can't act right?
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Re the bolded. Really important lesson for women to learn is to not love someone who doesn't love you back. Just don't give your precious heart or body away to someone undeserving, unworthy, and who hasn't expressed genuine love for you. Also, men sweep you off your feet in the beginning so that you keep trying to get back to that loving feeling again. They NEVER go back to treating you that way again, especially for any length of time. It was never about loving you, but a tactic to get their way. So, avoid letting anyone sweep you off your feet -- your feet should always be on solid ground so that you can make good choices and be in control of yourself. That sweeping off the feet is him overpowering you emotionally.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
MY COusin just posted a video of himself at the gym with Aldis Hodges fine self :drunk: I need him to stop playing and make a love connection between us :look:. I'll cut off all my prospects for that fine specimen
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Did you put your request in the prayer circle thread :look:? You might wanna mosey on over there and add it.

Crossing my fingers for you :yep:
 
ScorpioLove said:
Too many weddings this weekend. .. I need to get my mind right. Don't know what it is about weddings that make you want to really find the right one to do that with too.
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Really? It's the opposite for me right now. I have one in September and I really don't wanna go. It's on a Friday. White and Hispanic. I'm going with my mother (friend of her side of the family) and I reeeeaaallly don't feel like dressing up. And from the bs I had to listen to for the past 2 years as they were planning it, I don't wanna get anywhere NEAR that bouquet.

200w.gif


Maybe my IUD is finally kicking in but men annoy the fluck out of me right now. I'm cool with us chilling and being friends but dating? Romance? Naw. I've been like this before though so I'm sure I'll change my mind soon enough. Im just enjoying the wave while it lasts.

Eta: or maybe I'm finally growing up? Becoming bitter/numb like I've wanted to be for a while now? I ended things with the Engineer and it was easy. Usually I would be a mess. Crying. Analyzing what went wrong, what did I do wrong. Spirling into "IM UNLOVEABLE. IM HIDEOUS. etc." Like in a serious depression. But nothing of the sort. I may not be a LHCF unicorn but damn it I'm fabulous lmao.

I'm only really upset because of the potential earning of his job. Oh and the fact that I put in effort to look cute when I could have been sleeping. Otherwise meh. Maybe it's because didn't really like him.
 
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sgold04 said:
:giggle:

I love my home state, but the dating game for non-mixxxxxed Black girls is rough.
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You ain't never lied. I was thinking for a while to go visit my dad in the south and try to scoop one there but I highly doubt he'll let me out of his sight long enough to do so let alone do anything else.
 
@hopeful
Uggh your telling me stuff I already know & refuse to believe. How could he not love me when he says it, but doesn't show it? I'm really just feeling like old age makes me settle but I shouldn't think that way. Thank you for your words kind words and advice.

hopeful said:
Re the bolded. Really important lesson for women to learn is to not love someone who doesn't love you back. Just don't give your precious heart or body away to someone undeserving, unworthy, and who hasn't expressed genuine love for you. Also, men sweep you off your feet in the beginning so that you keep trying to get back to that loving feeling again. They NEVER go back to treating you that way again, especially for any length of time. It was never about loving you, but a tactic to get their way. So, avoid letting anyone sweep you off your feet -- your feet should always be on solid ground so that you can make good choices and be in control of yourself. That sweeping off the feet is him overpowering you emotionally.
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ms.tatiana said:
@hopeful
Uggh your telling me stuff I already know & refuse to believe. How could he not love me when he says it, but doesn't show it? I'm really just feeling like old age makes me settle but I shouldn't think that way. Thank you for your words kind words and advice.
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You are welcome. Words mean nothing if he doesn't show it and feel it, and if you don't feel safe and loved. Words simply aren't enough. It's like believing a fairytale. And you can't convince or teach a man to love you. I'm sorry. You are already easy to love and beautiful :yep:. Do you know that? Do you believe that?
 
aviddiva77 said:
Really? It's the opposite for me right now. I have one in September and I really don't wanna go. It's on a Friday. White and Hispanic. I'm going with my mother (friend of her side of the family) and I reeeeaaallly don't feel like dressing up. And from the bs I had to listen to for the past 2 years as they were planning it, I don't wanna get anywhere NEAR that bouquet.

200w.gif


Maybe my IUD is finally kicking in but men annoy the fluck out of me right now. I'm cool with us chilling and being friends but dating? Romance? Naw. I've been like this before though so I'm sure I'll change my mind soon enough. Im just enjoying the wave while it lasts.

Eta: or maybe I'm finally growing up? Becoming bitter/numb like I've wanted to be for a while now? I ended things with the Engineer and it was easy. Usually I would be a mess. Crying. Analyzing what went wrong, what did I do wrong. Spirling into "IM UNLOVEABLE. IM HIDEOUS. etc." Like in a serious depression. But nothing of the sort. I may not be a LHCF unicorn but damn it I'm fabulous lmao.

I'm only really upset because of the potential earning of his job. Oh and the fact that I put in effort to look cute when I could have been sleeping. Otherwise meh. Maybe it's because didn't really like him.
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I just feel like I'm in a good place to meet someone on my level, not just material wealth either. Seeing that just made me actually want to spend time with the right ones not just anyone who acts right.

Far as engineers go, I'm always surrounded by them since I'm often the only girl on engineering teams. Think that's why I got so jaded in the first place. I wasn't bitter but definitely was not open to love. I'm doing well for my self and it would be fun having a partner in crime.
 
Sigh... send a ton of messages back and forth to this guy then he says he's Indian... how terrible would it be to stop replying after that.
 
I got a lot of attention yesterday :look:

I went to a picnic and had planned my outfit a whole two weeks in advance. I knew there was a chance for alot of cuties to be there so I planned accordingly. I wanted to wear a dress even though I was going to sit on a blanket (also my choice) but that didn't work out. I wore a strapless peplum/tube top and short shorts. I felt really feminine.

There's one guy who's been eyeing me at some meetup events. Yesterday, as I was getting up, I caught him staring at me hard. Maybe he thought a titty was gonna fall out? I could literally see the lust in his eyes :perplexed:. I've seen this before but I am not used to it on a regular basis. Usually it's from a creep or from someone I'm actually boinking...but not an acquaintance in broad daylight. :lol:

Maybe he's a creep? :look:

Later that night I went out to celebrate a friend's birthday. I didn't want to go at first because I already had a ticket for the MJ tribute dance party and that only happens once a year. I ended up meeting with my friends anyway, mostly because who was gonna be there :look:. There's a cutie named **bob who is a friend of two of my friends and he was going to be in tow. He is alot of fun to be around. He is also so damned sexy. Nice smile, great personality. I love being around him. Don't get excited y'all...he has a girl :drunk:. They are in an open relationship, but still.

So he comes late to the club and we start chatting as soon as he gets there. Then in mid convo he grabs my had and takes me to the middle of the dance floor. We've met and danced once before , but this time he was mad aggressive with it :lol:. It wasn't just grinding either. We actually danced together and ****...the way people used to do...but we did some grinding too. I was all over that. :yep:

I am trying to figure out how to add him to my stable of (fwb) potentials. Since he's friendly with everybody I get the idea that he's just "nice" and not necessarily in to me. Which could work out in a casual thing. I told him we should hang out and made him put his number in my phone..but now I'm not sure I want to use it. :lachen:

Yes, I did say I am ISO of a serious relationship, but I think it is in my best interest to keep men in orbit for serious and non serious dating.

**Fake name used just in case, ya know.
 
ScorpioLove said:
I just feel like I'm in a good place to meet someone on my level, not just material wealth either. Seeing that just made me actually want to spend time with the right ones not just anyone who acts right.

Far as engineers go, I'm always surrounded by them since I'm often the only girl on engineering teams. Think that's why I got so jaded in the first place. I wasn't bitter but definitely was not open to love. I'm doing well for my self and it would be fun having a partner in crime.
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What do you mean? Like listening to their dating stories?
 
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sgold04 said:
I'm pretty content in my singleness right now.

But I need to live in a dual income household.

I think I'll spend a lot of time running near the medical center.
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I could've written this. For the first time in a while, I couldn't care less about men, dating, trying to be booed up, etc and I'm completely content. But I want to save my money while spending his. :(
 
sgold04 said:
I'm pretty content in my singleness right now.

But I need to live in a dual income household.

I think I'll spend a lot of time running near the medical center.
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gimbap said:
I could've written this. For the first time in a while, I couldn't care less about men, dating, trying to be booed up, etc and I'm completely content. But I want to save my money while spending his. :(
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:yep: I literally want a boyfriend just so he can pay my rent/spend his money.

I used to feel really bad for my guy friend paying for me. I don't anymore lol. And with the Engineer he paid for everything and I didn't feel any guilt either. I liked it :look:
 
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