*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

movingforward13 said:
Probably. I am sure that you have had many men try you....
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Which is why I stopped telling them I'm a virgin. Or seeing it as something that makes me more attractive to men.

But like blood in the water to a shark they can smell it. Usually if I talk openly about sex, it masks it but then they think I'm DTF.
 
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qchelle said:
We had a small 'fight'. A 'tiff', really. We both did something that caused something to not go as planned. My behavior wasn't the best :look: but it was better than it could have been :look: :) :yep: :lol: and he responded....not great. Understandably.

He took it upon himself to address it asap and omg he handled it like such a maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan :drool:

I told him I'd like him to get a few things to make my experience even more comfy at his home :) His house is fully furnished and wonderful...but it still looks like a single man lives there lol. Which is fine, but..yea lol. I asked him to get a coffee maker, too, so he can stop having to go out and get me coffee in the mornings :look: He refers to his house as "the house" :look: so, I'm like okay, cool :look: I would never refer to my house as "the house" to him, or anyone lmao. So, his wording is interesting to me.

He brought up a couple vacay spots for the fall/winter he'd looked in to. After I mentioned them to him. Glad he's listening lol.
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Tee hee! What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine too.
 
crlsweetie912 said:
if you have to think this hard about is he worth it HELL NO. Why would you even consider it? Why have you been a virgin all these years.....:drunk::drunk::drunk::drunk::drunk::drunk:
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Because I couldn't find someone who was willing to take an STD test and wear a condom :look:

This guy at my last job asked me to be FWB but refused to wear condoms or get tested. Had he I would have given it up. And he lived right down the street from me?
 
aviddiva77 said:
Which is why I stopped telling them I'm a virgin. Or seeing it as something that makes me more attractive to men.

But like blood in the water to a shark they can smell it. Usually if I talk openly about sex, it masks it but then they think I'm DTF.
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This is SO interesting to me. How old are you? I wonder if being a virgin becomes more of a hindrance the older you get, I don't know any to get the 411 elsewhere, but your story is certainly intriguing.
 
RoundEyedGirl504 said:
This is SO interesting to me. How old are you? I wonder if being a virgin becomes more of a hindrance the older you get, I don't know any to get the 411 elsewhere, but your story is certainly intriguing.
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I know you aren't talking to me lol but I have a good friend that's about to turn 31 & she's still a virgin as well, ,she's had men RUN for the hills because they either 1.think she'll never have sex with them or 2. Assume she'll immediately expect something serious from the encounter. So I definitely think it can be a hinderance in some ways if you're trying to get rid of it & get it over with.
 
RoundEyedGirl504 said:
This is SO interesting to me. How old are you? I wonder if being a virgin becomes more of a hindrance the older you get, I don't know any to get the 411 elsewhere, but your story is certainly intriguing.
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I am 26. I think it is. For ME I kind of feel stunted.
UniquelyDivine said:
I know you aren't talking to me lol but I have a good friend that's about to turn 31 & she's still a virgin as well, ,she's had men RUN for the hills because they either 1.think she'll never have sex with them or 2. Assume she'll immediately expect something serious from the encounter. So I definitely think it can be a hinderance in some ways if you're trying to get rid of it & get it over with.
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:yep: I've gotten that as well.
 
SuchaLady said:
Yes. Virginity is viewed very oddly around here :lol: but I don't see this being problematic in real life.

I love you @aviddiva77 but I also feel that a lot of your problems are self induced :giggle:
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Right, don't view virginity as a badge of superiority or a liability. It's neither of those- it's just a choice or a circumstance. And any guy better be happy with the woman he gets virgin or not damnit :lol:
@aviddiva77 dont worry so much about it.
 
sharifeh said:
@aviddiva77 it's none of their business- don't volunteer that information- the right guy won't care imo
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I stopped a while ago. If they ask I'll say it, but otherwise I just let them think whatever. In the situation I mentioned before (with men thinking I'm DTF) I just tell them I'm not interested in a sex only relationship and that usually takes care of it.
SuchaLady said:
Yes. Virginity is viewed very oddly around here :lol: but I don't see this being problematic in real life.

I love you @aviddiva77 but I also feel that a lot of your problems are self induced :giggle:
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I actually had a very hard time with how the women view virginity on this board. Freak/weird/something wrong with them etc. When in real life Ive been constantly told what @sharifeh said "the right guy won't care." Which is half right. I have yet to run into a man who didn't care (either being really excited or wanting to run) but doesn't mean they don't exist. But I feel like that saying is kind of "fairy-tale"-ish. And is part of how I got to this point in the first place.

But I know that my problems are self inflicted. I have a problem with thinking. Especially circular/spiral thinking. I also have literally no training on men. No feminine wiles. Nothing. Just "stay in school boys will come later." My mom didn't deem it necessary to teach me and my dad was too sick and then too busy doing whatever to show me. So I'm really learning through trial and error.
sharifeh said:
Right, don't view virginity as a badge of superiority or a liability. It's neither of those- it's just a choice or a circumstance. And any guy better be happy with the woman he gets virgin or not damnit :lol:
@aviddiva77 dont worry so much about it.
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Not worrying about it is how I got here in the first place LOL.
 
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aviddiva77 said:
I stopped a while ago. If they ask I'll say it, but otherwise I just let them think whatever. In the situation I mentioned before (with men thinking I'm DTF) I just tell them I'm not interested in a sex only relationship and that usually takes care of it.
I actually had a very hard time with how the women view virginity on this board. Freak/weird/something wrong with them etc. When in real life Ive been constantly told what @sharifeh said "the right guy won't care." Which is half right. I have yet to run into a man who didn't care (either being really excited or wanting to run) but doesn't mean they don't exist. But I feel like that saying is kind of "fairy-tale"-ish. And is part of how I got to this point in the first place.
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I am *new* to the board but really? I think it is very admirable that you waited. I personally didn't have a choice being molested at a young age- and that set off a chain of reaction of getting it on and popping WAYYYYYYY before I should have. To this day I am still dealing with the residual effects of that mentally. I wish I was in your shoes. Knowing what I know now- my first time would be with someone who gave a fluck about me and would make it special. And the way I hear males talk about women... nothing weird about it. Basically, I have heard that because a woman has already had sex, she is expected to have sex with EVERY man she dates. Many of them hate the celibacy/ abstinent decision a woman makes AFTER she has had sex because they are like you gave him some but now I have to wait? They are acting like it is a piece of candy instead of a connection that is made with someone - soul ties.

This is not to start a debate- because I don't share those views. What I do with my kitty kat is my business. Just saying what I have heard from the opposite sex - at work, in social settings, online (facebook groups) hell men I don't even know but somehow that topic came up and they shared their views. So I feel like you being a virgin have the upper hand. But that is just my thoughts- don't give it away to just anyone.
 
movingforward13 said:
I am *new* to the board but really? I think it is very admirable that you waited. I personally didn't have a choice being molested at a young age- and that set off a chain of reaction of getting it on and popping WAYYYYYYY before I should have. To this day I am still dealing with the residual effects of that mentally. I wish I was in your shoes. Knowing what I know now- my first time would be with someone who gave a fluck about me and would make it special. And the way I hear males talk about women... nothing weird about it. Basically, I have heard that because a woman has already had sex, she is expected to have sex with EVERY man she dates. Many of them hate the celibacy/ abstinent decision a woman makes AFTER she has had sex because they are like you gave him some but now I have to wait? They are acting like it is a piece of candy instead of a connection that is made with someone - soul ties.

This is not to start a debate- because I don't share those views. What I do with my kitty kat is my business. Just saying what I have heard from the opposite sex - at work, in social settings, online (facebook groups) hell men I don't even know but somehow that topic came up and they shared their views. So I feel like you being a virgin have the upper hand. But that is just my thoughts- don't give it away to just anyone.
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Oh yeah. There was a thread about it.

But I am so sorry that happened to you. That you weren't protected. *hugs*

And I've never heard that before so thank you for sharing what you have observed!
 
cocomochaa said:
So the universe had no objections and it looks like I'm flying to the States to spend Labour day weekend and some change with him...
I'm actually laughing to myself as I type this. What in the hell am I doing?!

We have a little routine down pat where we skype once a week and check in during the week. 7hours time difference is a b but he calls on the dot (i've usually slept through the first batch of ringing) and speaking to him early in the morning always brightens up my day.

Due to my emotional unavailability ( i crave for a relationship but true intimacy frightens me), him being far away is great. I have more control over the situation, my emotions and my expectations. I've always said I could never have a LDR but having looked at my dating history my ex's have always had high pressurised jobs requiring time away or long hours working. Them not being freely available gave structure to the relationship and managed my expectations.

I digress.

I'm so excited!!! Yet nervous! What if he doesn't think I'm pretty? What if he's a complete douch? What if I fall for him?

I'll be back with updates ...
.
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Counting down the days now and I cannot wait to see this man. He's planning things for us to do and making sure i'll have a great time. He said " i want you to do two things while you're here - have fun and receive" which warmed my heart. I have a tricky time receiving but I plan on letting that go and just taking in everything he gives.

Has anyone come across any threads similar to this situation?
 
Idk how we got on the topic, but we got to talking about the other people we were dating while we were dating each other. This is old news for us. But he said something new that surprised me: that he wasn't looking for a relationship when we met. Well, he said that he told the girl that he wasn't looking for a relationship. That he'd told her this when they first started dating and kept repeating it throughout their time together.

A while back we were talking about the big snow storm where the feds were off for a week? And what we were doing during. He'd said that the girl was over there the whole time and that..at this point I guess he knew he ain't like her like that...he basically locked himself in his room cuz he didn't wanted to be around her :lachen: and that they barely had sex the whole week :lachen: BECAUSE she was unwilling to have sex at all, is probably a major contributing factor to why he didn't feel like being around her...imo :lol:

Anyway. He was dating this girl since February (snow storm)! And he KNEW he didn't want anything serious with her. And, according to him, he told her that. Ok, I'll believe that.

I posted before that when we started dating, he would text me screenshots of their conversations...and how she would be talking to herself, trying to get him to answer lmaoooo. That's not funny. But it was hilarious! She really liked him! Like she thought they were headed down the path to a relationship! From the texts I saw. How sad! Then, when he finally ended things with her, according to him, she was upset! Like hello!

Both of their actions are interesting to me. Her, because he clearly didn't like you. Yall been dating for 4 months and he hasn't asked you to be official. He don't respond to your attempts at communication. This is clear and evident *face palm*. Him, because why are you wasting your time with someone you clearly don't like? I mean I know why lol but Omg that's insane!
 
I don't know if I've posted this. But the thread that got poofed yesterday ( nate/me talking too much lmao) reminded me of something new.

A while back, he asked me what my body count is. I said none of your business. He hemmed and hawed lol. Then I asked him lmao. He hemmed and hawed and actually gave me a tight range. THIS MAN IS A WHORE! Was my immediate thought. But then I thought about it some more. And if you start having sex as a teen, that's actually not unusual and is totally plausible lol. So ok.

The thread yesterday prompted me to ask him if he thought oral sex counted as sex. Yall. He said yea! Man please yall trippin :lachen: im glad I didn't tell him my body count, cuz what I would have said back then would've been a LIE :lol:
 
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qchelle said:
Idk how we got on the topic, but we got to talking about the other people we were dating while we were dating each other. This is old news for us. But he said something new that surprised me: that he wasn't looking for a relationship when we met. Well, he said that he told the girl that he wasn't looking for a relationship. That he'd told her this when they first started dating and kept repeating it throughout their time together.

A while back we were talking about the big snow storm where the feds were off for a week? And what we were doing during. He'd said that the girl was over there the whole time and that..at this point I guess he knew he ain't like her like that...he basically locked himself in his room cuz he didn't wanted to be around her :lachen: and that they barely had sex the whole week :lachen: BECAUSE she was unwilling to have sex at all, is probably a major contributing factor to why he didn't feel like being around her...imo :lol:

Anyway. He was dating this girl since February (snow storm)! And he KNEW he didn't want anything serious with her. And, according to him, he told her that. Ok, I'll believe that.

I posted before that when we started dating, he would text me screenshots of their conversations...and how she would be talking to herself, trying to get him to answer lmaoooo. That's not funny. But it was hilarious! She really liked him! Like she thought they were headed down the path to a relationship! From the texts I saw. How sad! Then, when he finally ended things with her, according to him, she was upset! Like hello!

Both of their actions are interesting to me. Her, because he clearly didn't like you. Yall been dating for 4 months and he hasn't asked you to be official. He don't respond to your attempts at communication. This is clear and evident *face palm*. Him, because why are you wasting your time with someone you clearly don't like? I mean I know why lol but Omg that's insane!
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Dang you are funny. You also sound like my bff. I hear her voice when I read your stories. :)
 
qchelle said:
I posted before that when we started dating, he would text me screenshots of their conversations...and how she would be talking to herself, trying to get him to answer lmaoooo. That's not funny. But it was hilarious! She really liked him! Like she thought they were headed down the path to a relationship! From the texts I saw. How sad! Then, when he finally ended things with her, according to him, she was upset! Like hello!
l!
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I don't understand people that do this , like do they think they'll eventually wear you down until you answer? If a ***** doesn't respond to me in a timely manner I''m ready to write them off :look: so I'll be damned if I continue to contact someone that is blatantly ignoring me!!!! I have someone in my inbox right now that's been talking to himself for weeks and I want to just shake him, like where is your pride bro?!
 
So I met a guy. We messed around. I already knew I didn't want to have sex with him, but his d**k found it's way out of his pants anyway. I politely declined.

It's interesting. A couple of years ago, I still wouldn't have had sex with him, but I would of felt really bad about it. This time I didn't care. I didn't lead him on, he just wanted to see how far he could get.

This post is really about how I'm pretty sure I want a commitment. Even in the heat of the moment I can't get turned on enough to go all the way with a dude if I'm just not with it.
 
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