*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

GraceJones said:
Things are almost looking up for me. I found a new job. I really want to open up and meet friends but it’s hard for me.

I want to meet a guy but I don’t think I have the capacity or the bandwidth. I don’t know when I will. It’s so hard to be hopeful in this. How do you meet people to date? Anyway, I’ll let it go.

I spoke to Friend B about the fall out I had with Friend A I spoke about previously. I purposely did not mention the names of my friend when I told my story and Friend B mentioned Friend A and told me she had the same exact experience with her. That made me feel a little bit better that it wasn’t just me.

I want to open up and meet friends but it’s so hard. I really want to work on my mental health and be more positive. Idk how to meet new people. I tried meet up groups for years since I met college and I always find myself in drama. I never really make any real connections. Just people I hang out with. I feel like people go to meetups to date and compete for guys attention. Where else do you meet friends?

I’m in junior league but I haven’t made friends with anyone yet. I asked one girl for coffee, so I’ll see how that goes. When I’m in group settings with the ladies it’s really hard to talk and open up. I’m better in small spaces. I want to but I’m so afraid to get hurt again. I’ve been hurt by a lot of people these past two years. I feel so fragile, like I can’t take another disappointment. It’s given me a lack of faith in people.
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@GraceJones I'm working on making friends too but i'm having the most difficult time. I feel nervous about approaching people.
 
@Bette Davis Eyes when is the comedy show happening because eye deserve front seats for your standup!

Meeting people isn’t easy as most aren’t comfy and it’s hard connecting with a mask/facade. If you feel you work better in small then own it and flow. One big lesson over the yrs is I had to remove my mask so that folks understood who I am so if you ain’t into it bet. It was hard because of the illusion I had of what I must be was on a pedalstool which only suffocated me. It took yrs to get why but I owned my part in my issues. Yes it was a maladaptive coping but if I want real I must be. I also accepted I won’t be close to most and I’m a lot which most can’t really quite get but I’m old and kinda don’t care. I bore easily and am annoyed yet unbothered most times lol.
 
yaya24 said:
OK so I officially have my spring roster.

4 guys.. started the "recruiting" process late February.

Zero plans on sleeping with any of them. Just enjoying the ride.

Let the best man win.
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Well I'm down to 1 from 4.. lol.
I'm going to be open to meeting more..


The Eliminated 3::

1 guy made disparaging comments about women on Sunday. He was speaking about a woman he's dated in the past.. and how women think that bc they have a vagina they deserve the world..

gross.

1 has been giving off major playboy vibes and I do not have time to understand if I'm right. I'm trusting my intuition.

1 guy-- he's really cool, but one of my girlfriends expressed in a round about way how she's in love with him. They've known each other for 10+ years.
I just met the guy..He's a stranger... & I cherish the friendship enough to leave him alone. He says he sees her as a sister. Exiting before any further weirdness ensues.
 
@Plushottie LOL , The thoughts that roll thru my head

I want to take this crochet out and attempt to install different hair myself but the way my hands have been set up to cut my hair 4 times over the past years to the scalp, I cant take the chance!!!!
 
Bette Davis Eyes said:
@Plushottie LOL , The thoughts that roll thru my head

I want to take this crochet out and attempt to install different hair myself but the way my hands have been set up to cut my hair 4 times over the past years to the scalp, I cant take the chance!!!!
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You need Terry Crews to pop out and look at you when you're tempted to cut your hair lol
 
One of the complex relationships is with my bio father. I wasn’t raised with him I found him on google when I was graduating hs. I cut him off when I went down in 2017. Hadn’t seen anything until Christmas 23’. Now he wants to meet up and I initially was going to fly out but there is nothing in me that wants to. I only like to fly first class and stay at nice hotels and it’s just doesn’t excite me to spend. Part of me just wants to send a text explaining I have moved on and good bye. I don’t think I desire connection anymore with anyone unless it’s about money. I think being solo for multiple decades has made it where the desire to connect isn’t reality nor obtainable.
At one point I wanted to be like others now I’m like I’m good. It’s a rare gift to find people who I actually connect with im not like most and it’s annoying now to try and to appeal. Sometimes you long for something for so long the taste of it passes.
 
I feel you @ the sometimes you long for something so long the taste of it passes.

I have so much family across the US and speak to only 1 on a semi regular basis.

I was told a death bed secret from my mother’s best friend that shook up everything when she passed. Now I’m just like oh well.

Told a skate friend today. Happiness is a choice. Choose what makes you happy. There’s only one life we get to live. Regret is a bitter pill.

@Plushottie
 
I even sat up this morning like am I scared of connection but there was a peace that hit me when I finally was tired of looking at flights I really don’t want to go. Growth is so wild, I use to do so much to be seen and to have what others get naturally but it’s like after you cook a big meal it may be good but it’s like I’m good I feel that’s what has happened emotionally geez even writing this is giving emphanies.
@Bette Davis Eyes
 
Plushottie said:
Very true @lavaflow99. It’s hard because there is so much programming in the minds of people that if I am not in a relationship I’m nothing esp for women and even more if they are trying to outrun being unconventional.
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It is lovely being in a place where you don’t give a :censored: what people think.

5 stars. Highly recommended. Won’t happen overnight but can happen :clap:
 
lavaflow99 said:
It is lovely being in a place where you don’t give a :censored: what people think.

5 stars. Highly recommended. Won’t happen overnight but can happen :clap:
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It’s like I have seen in the past on social how folks try to belittle folks esp women and hyper on those society doesn’t deem desirable at the messages like if your single your ugly, go do x to be seen or no one is perfect. I had one dude yes he was black say oh well if you hit 35 single your must be defective.
I have moments but then see things and it grieves my soul like yuck.
 
I’m finally seeing the psychiatrist tomorrow. I want to ask him if I have Asperger’s/Autism and I want to see if I can get in meds.

Hopefully, he can prescribe me something. I work so much I don’t do anything “fun”. I’m so tired from working during the week that I usually just sleep.

I guess I’ve been hurt so much by “friends” and other people I’ve just lost faith and stay alone. How do you find joy or fulfillment?

I really don’t know what things to do other than work and go home.
 
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