Doing things based on what I find appealing/desirable is truly a different era vs doing in hopes that I may be appeasing to others. It’s sad to think how much wasted effort was made in thought and being. The constant rejection of self by self is so damaging. I feel most don’t know what they desire as reflecting is shunned in this reality.
 
@GraceJones I may be way off base but your perception and reality are off balance. Your beauty is important but shouldn’t but I understand how hard it is to separate the 2. For a long time me being grossly overweight and the jacked society expectations made life hard. Until you change your view you will continue to drown.
I am not an advocate for meds but if it’s destroying your day to day I would look into it and get the lowest dose possibly because you will have to tapper off.
I will say this again most can’t have deep connection because that vulnerable and not on trend with the world.
 
This is more of a vent vs solution. I so need to change up things. Observing self from an impartial view I don’t go out aside the gym and can be in my place for days. This isn’t healthy to me and part of me knows it’s a coping thing but another is like your wasting years by not going out. My current location is cute but it’s like I’m waiting for some invite to go out but that’s not going to occur as I’m not connected. I’m looking to do a weekend trip in April but I don’t like spending but yet have a closet ready lol.
My bio father who I have met in person once wanted to see me and I’m like I can come to you but I’m kinda like meh he is in Cali and I know myself cheap isn’t going to suit me. Things like this really amp my neurodiverse traits that embarrass me. It’s like ok if I’m going to be single for my life can I not have these issues.
 
@Bette Davis Eyes i have been told about cruises and my nerves just won’t allow that. Most go to tropical places and I’m not drawn to those. Then illnesses on a boat just doesn’t hit. I do need to figure out some out of country experience somewhere cold lol.
 
Life carries on in the people I meet.
In everyone that's out on the street
In all the dogs and cats
In the flies and rats
In the rot and the rust
In the ashes and the dust
Life carries on and on and on and on
Just the car that we ride in
The home we reside in
The face that we hide in
The way we are tied in.
As life carries on and on and on


Did I dream this belief?
Or did I believe the dream?
Now I will find relief.
I grieve.
 
So feel the shift of womanly life happening and it leaves me with so many thoughts. As this shift happens the desire of being seen starts to fade more prob why the desire to try and be like others and socialize escapes me. All I do/wear is for self. There was a time where I did so much against self in order to be normal to do so much yet to still have the undesirable outcome is wild but as one ages one must chose to evolve or dissolve.
 
I don’t know if his page is public
 
yall I need some advice.

I'm currently working full time/ taking 3 credit hours at community college. I want to gain healthcare experience since I am trying to finish up my nursing school prereqs. I have 5 more classes to take.

I have applied to nearby hospitals and clinics in anything from CNA to account clerk typist.
I currently work in education but I'm not a teacher. I have a bachelors degree in Sociology; Liberal Arts w/social science concentration AA degree and a Human Services Certification.

I definitely need a higher paying job. That goes without saying.

My question is:

do I just keep my current job and cash flow community college? I will be working my current job this summer full time while doing 1 online class.

or

look for a new job without any healthcare experience

I do have decent savings but I don't want to touch it.
 
yall I need some advice.

I'm currently working full time/ taking 3 credit hours at community college. I want to gain healthcare experience since I am trying to finish up my nursing school prereqs. I have 5 more classes to take.

I have applied to nearby hospitals and clinics in anything from CNA to account clerk typist.
I currently work in education but I'm not a teacher. I have a bachelors degree in Sociology; Liberal Arts w/social science concentration AA degree and a Human Services Certification.

I definitely need a higher paying job. That goes without saying.

My question is:

do I just keep my current job and cash flow community college? I will be working my current job this summer full time while doing 1 online class.

or

look for a new job without any healthcare experience

I do have decent savings but I don't want to touch it.
This is just my personal thought you will get some experience once in nursing but to make life easier more money is key. So I’m currently in grad school and wouldn’t even desire to gain experience in my new field until it’s paid as having to not be extra stressed about money while in school is life.
 
This is just my personal thought you will get some experience once in nursing but to make life easier more money is key. So I’m currently in grad school and wouldn’t even desire to gain experience in my new field until it’s paid as having to not be extra stressed about money while in school is life.
yes definitely applying to any civil service office jobs as well. I need the higher income. I can keep the same budget and increase savings. There's tons of places nearby and lots of hospitals within walking distance.

I need life to be easier though. Then I won't feel so stressed.
 
yes definitely applying to any civil service office jobs as well. I need the higher income. I can keep the same budget and increase savings. There's tons of places nearby and lots of hospitals within walking distance.

I need life to be easier though. Then I won't feel so stressed.
Like if you get more money you can ensure your good which helps as you study. It’s a major key for me esp because I have no one.
 
yall I need some advice.

I'm currently working full time/ taking 3 credit hours at community college. I want to gain healthcare experience since I am trying to finish up my nursing school prereqs. I have 5 more classes to take.

I have applied to nearby hospitals and clinics in anything from CNA to account clerk typist.
I currently work in education but I'm not a teacher. I have a bachelors degree in Sociology; Liberal Arts w/social science concentration AA degree and a Human Services Certification.

I definitely need a higher paying job. That goes without saying.

My question is:

do I just keep my current job and cash flow community college? I will be working my current job this summer full time while doing 1 online class.

or

look for a new job without any healthcare experience

I do have decent savings but I don't want to touch it.
If you are looking for higher paying job, get the job. You don't need healthcare experience for nursing school. That experience will be a-plenty when the time comes.
 
If you are looking for higher paying job, get the job. You don't need healthcare experience for nursing school. That experience will be a-plenty when the time comes.
thank you! I was worried I'd be at a disadvantage if I didn't have any healthcare experience.

I'm gonna find myself a higher paid job. I've been putting in applications but I'll keep applying everyday until I find something good.
 
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