*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

Plushottie said:
This hit me to my core. I so see me in you. Making adult friends is an odd thing as many aren’t open or they are busy with the hustle and bustle of busing kids or marriage. Then if you don’t do things like clubs/drinking it can be limiting. In my early 30’s I I tried meetup’s and going to cute places but it never amounted to anything. I def masked a lot until I broke down and a group I was trying to mix with said I was beyond the support they could give but in the most elite way. So I’m close to 40 and friendless. I chat with a coworker virtually but know once I’m gone that’s gone too.

You have a light about you and your thriving. Continue to do what you enjoy, you deserve that as I know how depression robs you of the gift of light. If you ever need to chat/vent my dm’s are a safe space.
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thank you sis @Plushottie. I've been having a really rough time lately. I'll keep trying in hopes that one day i'll find some solid friends or at the very least 1-2 really good friendships that can stand the test of time.
 
CoiledOrchids said:
thank you. I'm still working on making friends but sometimes I feel stuck. I go out mostly to just have something to do to distract me from my feelings.

like, I'm not sure where to go to make friends anyway. How do childfree women like myself who are in their early 30s make friends? I don't smoke or drink and bars/clubs/lounges aren't places I'd wanna hang out.

I deal with major depression so I kinda have to hide how I feel at work and just put on a brave face to make it through the day. It's exhausting.
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meetups.com

Can search groups with your interests/likes/hobbies. they have everything.....hiking groups, fitness groups. ski groups, AA groups, vegan groups to name a few
 
CoiledOrchids said:
thank you sis @Plushottie. I've been having a really rough time lately. I'll keep trying in hopes that one day i'll find some solid friends or at the very least 1-2 really good friendships that can stand the test of time.
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I understand major and depression is so not fun it takes a lot of energy just to do basics then try to say oh I need to be upbeat and personable hard pass. I keep telling myself you have a closet of pretty things go out but I when you work and your solely responsible you take the energy have to do whats keeping you indoors.
 
@CoiledOrchids
Join a book club at the library
Join a bowling team
They have craft classes at Michaels
Go to the gym and join a class
Take a class at the local library
Go on Nextdoor and see if they have a walking club in your area.
I just joined a membership and they have a virtual meeting coming up for the profession I’m in.
Go volunteer for campaign or to help with voting/registration.
 
Plushottie said:
I understand major and depression is so not fun it takes a lot of energy just to do basics then try to say oh I need to be upbeat and personable hard pass. I keep telling myself you have a closet of pretty things go out but I when you work and your solely responsible you take the energy have to do whats keeping you indoors.
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I went to pick up some dinner and put on a cute outfit and I went to get some cleaning supplies and used my favorite lipgloss. I get dressed for work (I’m comfortable though) and I work from home. YOU don’t have to earn the right to wear your nice clothes and use your makeup! Your closet is getting more wear out of your clothes than you is not the business!! And if you are a Christian, you need to be ready when Jesus comes and knocks on your door! lol
 
Evolving78 said:
I went to pick up some dinner and put on a cute outfit and I went to get some cleaning supplies and used my favorite lipgloss. I get dressed for work (I’m comfortable though) and I work from home. YOU don’t have to earn the right to wear your nice clothes and use your makeup! Your closet is getting more wear out of your clothes than you is not the business!! And if you are a Christian, you need to be ready when Jesus comes and knocks on your door! lol
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If Jesus knocks on my door it will make the evening news because a lot conversations will be had with this ex observer. I up for work often that’s normal for me but going out is another thing which typically it’s gym time lol.
 
Evolving78 said:
I went to pick up some dinner and put on a cute outfit and I went to get some cleaning supplies and used my favorite lipgloss. I get dressed for work (I’m comfortable though) and I work from home. YOU don’t have to earn the right to wear your nice clothes and use your makeup! Your closet is getting more wear out of your clothes than you is not the business!! And if you are a Christian, you need to be ready when Jesus comes and knocks on your door! lol
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@Evolving78 you are
a woman after
my own heart.

You just reminded
me of one of
my favorite poems
and once I post
this I'ma get
off my lazy
butt and start
some major spring
cleaning. Won't be
caught looking cute
in a house that
is not giving
Jeramey's a run
for its money. IJS :lol:

#CleanlinessIsNextToGodliness
#SheReady :lachen:

So thanks @Evolving78
Evolving78 said:
Ya’ll really like being social! I avoid people as much as possible. lol
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We are such
kindred spirits. :grin:
 
PatDM'T said:
@Evolving78 you are
a woman after
my own heart.

You just reminded
me of one of
my favorite poems
and once I post
this I'ma get
off my lazy
butt and start
some major spring
cleaning. Won't be
caught looking cute
in a house that
is not giving
Jeramey's a run
for its money. IJS :lol:

#CleanlinessIsNextToGodliness
#SheReady :lachen:

So thanks @Evolving78


We are such
kindred spirits. :grin:
Click to expand...
I’m running some errands today and will put on some mascara! Gotta mask up today! Gotta get an oil change.
 
Super random thought while I was washing my makeup brushes. One of the most healing things is to be allowed to speak without others projections/solutions as I feel everyone can solve their own issues but the process often needs a safe space hate this term but it fits to freely speak/spiral/reheat things. I rarely speak from a seeking info but more of expression that as someone who has been exiled it’s a hard thing to do. In the field I’m going into in my level one intern, I listened to a lot of women and the biggest constant was thank you for hearing me. If I had something to hit a immediate need cool but just hearing them as a few said I’m who every one comes to so to give space for the rock to cry out is probably my mission in this life, because being emotional and energetic stoped up is what’s causing so many women so much illness.
 
@Evolving78
thanks so much for the suggestions. I actually love to read so checking out a book club is a must for me.
I do actually have a YMCA membership. I should probably start using it since I wanna get into shape.

I love being outside. I like going for walks by the waterfront. They have a bike trail too, which is perfect since I bought myself a bike last summer. I really wanna tone up my arms, legs and stomach. I guess i'm just scared to go and work out in a public setting. But I know I have to do something because I hate having to wear all these layers of clothes.
 
Last edited:
@Evolving78 yes being heard sometimes puts so much to bed. I will never forget one of my clients as an intern back in Nov saying I know you can’t do anything but you hearing me did. I almost teared up bc I get it on a deep level people feel like they can tell me things when that’s not what I desired.
 
I was listening to Lewis Howes' podcast last week & this particular episode featured the author of a book called -Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection by Charles Duhigg

I wrote this note down about listening when someone comes to you with a situation or venting etc.

"Ask if they want to be Helped Heard or Hugged"

That was really great advice...that I'm moving with.

& I plan on making that book my March read.
 
yaya24 said:
I was listening to Lewis Howes' podcast last week & this particular episode featured the author of a book called -Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection by Charles Duhigg

I wrote this note down about listening when someone comes to you with a situation or venting etc.

"Ask if they want to be Helped Heard or Hugged"

That was really great advice...that I'm moving with.

& I plan on making that book my March read.
Click to expand...
I love this and is such a skill that I’m implementing because of my grad program. Many are uncomfy with just being that they can’t hear others as it’s too activating.
 
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