Woman Examines Potential Risks for Women in a Society Shifting Away From Traditional Relationships

Interesting article on MSN today.

Woman Examines Potential Risks for Women in a Society Shifting Away From Traditional Relationships​


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In a time where traditional relationships are taking a backseat, content creator Ally Rooker explores into a pressing issue that is sparking both concern and controversy. In this clip, she sheds light on the growing unease among many women. This discomfort stems from a noticeable trend: men increasingly falling short of modern women's expectations in marriage and dating.

Rooker explores the worry that, as a reaction to this shift, some men might resort to extreme measures, such as violence or manipulative legislative actions. These tactics, she argues, could be aimed at making women more dependent on men, consequently diminishing their ability to be selective in their relationships. It's a topic that not only raises eyebrows but also crucial questions about the evolving dynamics of gender, power, and choice in today's society.
In the video, Rooker draws from an article by The Hill titled "Most young men are single. Most young women are not." to highlight a significant societal shift. The Hill's article reveals a stark disparity: over 60% of young men are single, nearly double the rate of single young women. This trend points to a breakdown in the social, romantic, and sexual lives of young American men, who are increasingly friendless, lonely, and disengaged from relationships.

The article highlights the profound social and emotional disconnect plaguing young men, a crisis that sometimes has tragic outcomes, such as a higher suicide rate among young men and their predominant role in the increasing incidents of mass shootings. This disconnection, according to experts, is a consequence of societal changes that have eroded traditional gender roles and patriarchal structures.

The shift towards gender parity has significantly altered relationship dynamics. Greg Matos, a psychologist, notes that young women, now more empowered and independent, are less inclined to settle for subpar relationships. The rise in "unpartnered" Americans, particularly among the young, has been further exacerbated by the pandemic.

The article also sheds light on the emotional challenges men face. Many young men are not only struggling in the dating scene but also in forming meaningful friendships. This is attributed to the traditional masculine ideal which often shuns emotional openness and empathy—qualities increasingly sought after by modern women.

Navigating the New Relationship Landscape​

As a seasoned relationship coach, my perspective is that the concerns highlighted by Ally Rooker regarding the potential backlash from men in response to societal shifts are valid and warrant serious consideration. Drawing parallels to situations like that of Elliot Rodger, it becomes evident that the feelings of marginalization and rejection in the dating scene can have dangerous repercussions. However, the solution lies not in urging women to lower their standards, but rather in encouraging men to undertake a more active journey of inner development.

Men would benefit greatly from cultivating self-awareness and relational skills that align better with the expectations of modern women. This development is crucial not just for their personal growth but also for fostering healthier and more satisfying relationships. By doing so, men can become partners that women actively desire to be with, rather than a choice made out of necessity.

Empathy and understanding towards the struggles men face in today's dating landscape are important. But it's equally essential to empower and encourage men to evolve. This evolution will not only improve their prospects in the dating scene but will also contribute to the overall health and happiness of relationships. When women meet men they genuinely want to be with, the dynamics of these relationships will naturally shift towards being more balanced and fulfilling
 
They need to get in a therapist's chair, read some books (and apply what they are learning), get around some solid MENtors and actually embrace what it means to evolve.... basically DO THE CONTINUOUS WORK.

When men go after highly paid/ high skilled jobs they FIGURE IT OUT by any means necessary.
 
The current outlook of dating is really fascinating. I wonder if something bigger is at play and this is all part of the plan of evolution. What was supposed to be a shift from dependence and abuse has now become no one desires there other and so much lack of growth on both men and women. I use to have very pure intentions and that love was good but now its like one can be seen as a fool to love at all. This may not make sense but it makes sense to me.
 
The current outlook of dating is really fascinating. I wonder if something bigger is at play and this is all part of the plan of evolution. What was supposed to be a shift from dependence and abuse has now become no one desires there other and so much lack of growth on both men and women. I use to have very pure intentions and that love was good but now its like one can be seen as a fool to love at all. This may not make sense but it makes sense to me.
I think it is showing how much dependency played a major factor. Now people need to learn how to actually be relational and not just attach themselves to others for the sake of survival.
 
The dialog from the 2nd woman = Facts on facts on facts.. also the comments section is filled with some cautionary tales.

 
The dialog from the 2nd woman = Facts on facts on facts.. also the comments section is filled with some cautionary tales.

I feel like there’s a medium somewhere between the two and that’s the main issue overall: ppl totally bypass the middle ground. It’s like everyone is on one side of an extreme or another, bc both of them - even though I lean more towards the second woman’s view - are giving the two “easy way” solutions of the situation.

There’s a way to acknowledge someone’s issues without completely dismissing them, and there’s also a way to hold someone accountable for their own personal development without completely enabling them. I just don't believe either cutting someone off altogether or enabling their mediocrity are the only two answers. Maybe the most convenient ones that require less thought & effort on everyone’s part, but def not the only.
 
I don’t have ig but based on the preview the creator of that page I have reservations but in this era it’s an all or nothing thing. Now if they are violent on any level it’s a no but people are mirrors and often is what pushes growth. I think sadly the ig fantasy pushed by the dating influencer just strokes the ego and everyone is to be a baddie or wealthy and if not your defective. Many good people will miss on good because of this unrealistic ideal.
 
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I fully believe that the perfect partner does not exist...none of us are perfect, right?

I also fully trust and believe that the boundaries and standards we set for ourselves in order to flourish in a relationship (no matter how rigid or loose those boundaries and standards) are what make us authentic.

We have to be honest about what we will and will not tolerate. That will set the tone of what is realistic in each of our own romantic (and platonic) relationships.

For some, compromise and working it out (even if this is not bearing fruit) works. For others walking away is the best course of action. I've learned that there is no right or wrong way to handle it. The question is what works for you? Life is life-ing.. Relationships are complex **especially when it comes to matters of the heart**

We each know what we can handle.

If my mental health or peace is shaken, I have to take a step back...
 
@Plushottie
Here is the link to view the the stitch I shared -

Ok now listening to that yea I need folks to all seek help. I agree with some things on the 2nd poster but the energy isn’t right it’s hostile. As a MSW to be I’m picky on how one talks about mental health but I do know some will weaponize a hang nail as an ailment lol. I believe who we entertain can be a reflection of our inner worlds esp if we haven’t done our own inner work. Like many don’t know what they want nor what is a boundary they just don’t want to look abnormal by not being intimate.

Me being single now 17 yrs I can reflect on my path and see evolution. Being pressed to fit in will always make a mockery of your life. I don’t blame women desiring companionship, a big head baby security but one has to look at self honestly with compassion is what you seek truly what you want and if so do I respect myself to walk if not. I know domestic violence well and how poor treatment of self makes you a great bet for more.
The first poster is that of the male centered focus I don’t align but get their drive which actually I extend a lot of compassion towards as it’s complex.
 
If he shows me that he's willing to put the work in while we're friends, then sure! He wasn't a bad guy by any means. His past relationships were super low maintenance. For instance, he told me that I was the first adult date he had ever been on. . . He's 36.
Ok, I love that you didn’t play about you. There sadly is a thing in this era where proper dates outside the home are not done and if it is it’s a huge ordeal for a chain restaurant lol. Many just chill out in a shared situation. Also many women have been told communicating needs is soft/weak so it’s easy for some to not have to put much effort because the standard is 6ft under.
 
Ok, I love that you didn’t play about you. There sadly is a thing in this era where proper dates outside the home are not done and if it is it’s a huge ordeal for a chain restaurant lol. Many just chill out in a shared situation. Also many women have been told communicating needs is soft/weak so it’s easy for some to not have to put much effort because the standard is 6ft under.
He's had 2 serious relationships and he lived with both. So he had easy access and never had to wine and dine a woman.

It's funny, going out to eat is so basic to me. I've had fantastic male friends and when we hung out, they always paid. How could expect less from a boyfriend??

Quality time is my love language. I want to go experience things with you. If you can't feed that, we're not going far.
 
He's had 2 serious relationships and he lived with both. So he had easy access and never had to wine and dine a woman.

It's funny, going out to eat is so basic to me. I've had fantastic male friends and when we hung out, they always paid. How could expect less from a boyfriend??

Quality time is my love language. I want to go experience things with you. If you can't feed that, we're not going far.
This makes me so happy for you. Many when in it if they have wanted a relationship would ignore this and their needs. Living with someone is a no for me unless married bc it’s easy to become roommates. Hopefully he wises up and sees I had the pinnacle of hotties and my laziness turned her off. Men don’t get for women to truly activate in polarity you must create structure and then she will become alive vibrantly.
Dinner dates are basic unless you’re flying me out for an experience lol. But many aren’t doing the basics. Being pressed has many byob for a date. The worse thing a man or masculine being can ever be really anyone but esp them is be cheap with me, grossed me out.
Gifts and act of service are my top they tie and everything else is on the ground. But knowing what you need is crucial and honoring that is refreshing to me, you made a comment in the health thread that a relationship would boost your fitness. I hope you do it for you with the same energy you have about this, I deserve the best nothing less.
 
This makes me so happy for you. Many when in it if they have wanted a relationship would ignore this and their needs. Living with someone is a no for me unless married bc it’s easy to become roommates.
Gifts and act of service are my top they tie and everything else is on the ground. But knowing what you need is crucial and honoring that is refreshing to me, you made a comment in the health thread that a relationship would boost your fitness. I hope you do it for you with the same energy you have about this, I deserve the best nothing less.
He actually asked me to move in with him, and I considered it. Thank goodness that didn't work out!!
I did say that in the health thread and it actually didn't motivate me one bit! Internal motivation is a whole thing and I've got to get some.
 
He actually asked me to move in with him, and I considered it. Thank goodness that didn't work out!!
I did say that in the health thread and it actually didn't motivate me one bit! Internal motivation is a whole thing and I've got to get some.
He must have bumped his head. I’m glad you moved with caution because unless it’s a i do it’s a no. I remember in my youth living with someone and when things went violent I had to sacrifice the little I had to get out.
Internal motivation for you to be what you want is all you need. Doing things from the external can be a starter but isn’t the sustainer.
 
He actually asked me to move in with him, and I considered it. Thank goodness that didn't work out!!
I did say that in the health thread and it actually didn't motivate me one bit! Internal motivation is a whole thing and I've got to get some.
I was just going to say, I bet he wanted to speed things along and ask to live together. He needs to learn how to date and court a woman. Playing live-in make-believe wife ain’t what you want.
 
He must have bumped his head. I’m glad you moved with caution because unless it’s a i do it’s a no. I remember in my youth living with someone and when things went violent I had to sacrifice the little I had to get out.
Internal motivation for you to be what you want is all you need. Doing things from the external can be a starter but isn’t the sustainer.
It takes a lot to get gone and stay gone. Good words of encouragement!!
 
It takes a lot to get gone and stay gone. Good words of encouragement!!
It is but thinking back esp as I was young 21, I just remember trying to be cordial and witnessing a very horrific path of answering machine messages that went from nice,annoyed to if I had be in person I would have been in the hospital. I had worked so hard against so much sabotage from family and him to get into college that I couldn’t give that away.
 
He actually asked me to move in with him, and I considered it. Thank goodness that didn't work out!!
I did say that in the health thread and it actually didn't motivate me one bit! Internal motivation is a whole thing and I've got to get some.
Thank you for sharing your story. It's a good reminder of some of the ways men try to rush a relationship to get their needs met, without having their partners interests fulfilled. You definitely dodged a bullet, and good for you for realizing his relationship patterns and seeing that he was trying to duplicate that with you.
 
When one door closes, another one opens!!!

Met this guy yesterday while out getting coffee and had a great first date. We already have date number 2 planned for this upcoming Saturday! He's like the complete opposite of the last guy I was dating which is so interesting.

I've never dated a Hispanic guy before, so that's going to be an adventure in of itself LOL!!!
 
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