*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

[Plushottie]

i would like to also be with someone somewhat tall and athletic (shortest is 5'10" as i am taller than that). but how does a person become happy?

i feel like time just flew past me... how did i get to this age with no prospects? the way this is looking, i'll probably have a geriatric pregnanc

Happiness is simply but depends on the person. As someone who has been deathly depressed being able to appreciate my growth makes me giddy. When it comes to physical I’m a lot less rigid like I would prefer a non midget lol but if he can provide the life I desire then we can make this shake.
If your baby focused then I get the hyper physical focus because looks. I may be wrong but I pick up this pressure that may be self imposed which blocks you from enjoying the moment and def can be offputting to men.

 

[GraceJones]

Happiness is simply but depends on the person. As someone who has been deathly depressed being able to appreciate my growth makes me giddy. When it comes to physical I’m a lot less rigid like I would prefer a non midget lol but if he can provide the life I desire then we can make this shake.
If your baby focused then I get the hyper physical focus because looks. I may be wrong but I pick up this pressure that may be self imposed which blocks you from enjoying the moment and def can be offputting to men.

yes that is my personality, i put a lot of pressure on myself when it comes to my goals. I also feel a lot of shame because I have such poor luck in being about to attract someone. It’s one of my wounds from childhood. I never really had attention as a young girl from boys either. Always struggled with this

 

[Plushottie]

yes that is my personality, i put a lot of pressure on myself when it comes to my goals. I also feel a lot of shame because I have such poor luck in being about to attract someone. It’s one of my wounds from childhood. I never really had attention as a young girl from boys either. Always struggled with this

I’m all for focus on goals but some stuff like relationships is out of your hands. You have invested in making yourself the best possible now you have to let things flow. I so understand the lack of male attention it can definitely make you feel a bit insecure. Know what you want is within reach and wants you. See this delay as a blessing as when things come it will be worth it. Also try not become bitter.

 

[TrulyBlessed]

Nowadays they purpose of dating is to remind yourself of why you’re better off single lol

 

[PatDM'T]

Nowadays they purpose of dating is to remind yourself of why you’re better off single lol

Indeed. There is
a reason there
is a trend
of more and more
men being single.
Ladies are tired
of their bull.
Hence the need
for those cults
like Incel Groups
and Manospheres
aka "woe is me"
Pity Parties.

 

[ItsMeLilLucky]

@yaya24 He tried to manip-u-dip (manipulate) you and I'm glad you saw his true colors.

@GraceJones I don't know know what your belief system is, but from the small portion I read, you're doing all the right things, and a part of me thinks some stuff could be happening in the spirit realm that's causing the delay. Keep doing the work, physically, mentally, and spiritually.

 

[ItsMeLilLucky]

Why do people keep wishing kids on me. Wish babies on the people who really want them, cause not me

 

[PatDM'T]

Why do people keep wishing kids on me. Wish babies on the people who really want them, cause not me

You reminded me
of this video

 

[ItsMeLilLucky]

@PatDM'T I basically agree with everything she said EXCEPT I acknowledge my feelings of jealousy lol. I don't wish kids on people who don't want them, nor do I try to convince people to have them. I am brutally honest about my experiences. She's right, I love my honey bun to life but motherhood SUCKED because I had to do EVERYTHING by myself. Now the kid is in high school dealing with new issues *huuuge sigh* Honestly, if I had a support system, I probably would've had two or more kids. I like(d) kids. But as it stands, with the experience I have had, I never want to do this again, especially since I'm older now and don't want to start over. I am scarred lbs.

 

[Evolving78]

Why do people keep wishing kids on me. Wish babies on the people who really want them, cause not me

Girl, sounds like they are trying to put a curse on you! Who wishes that on somebody?!?

 

[Evolving78]

When the board had a single mother thread, it was a bunch of married mothers in there complaining and venting about the stuff they go through. People need to start being honest. If someone is wishing motherhood on you, they don’t mean you well!

 

[PatDM'T]

When the board had a single mother thread, it was a bunch of married mothers in there complaining and venting about the stuff they go through. People need to start being honest. If someone is wishing motherhood on you, they don’t mean you well!

My friend was
married when her
son was young
and her husband
was very hands on.
She loves her
son dearly and
would kill for
him no question, but
even she shared
@ItsMeLilLucky's
sentiments years ago
and told me
she could never
have another kid
on purpose. She
is probably the
only mom I know
IRL who does
not sugarcoat motherhood.

I appreciate your
honesty @ItsMeLilLucky
I am a cat mom
(Hey it
is the same thing
to me; stop hating)
and I love
my cat to death
but even he
drives me crazy
sometimes, but I
would not give
him up for
the world...yet
I know I don't
want another.

 

[ItsMeLilLucky]

My friend was
married when her
son was young
and her husband
was very hands on.
She loves her
son dearly and
would kill for
him no question, but
even she shared
@ItsMeLilLucky's
sentiments years ago
and told me
she could never
have another kid
on purpose. She
is probably the
only mom I know
IRL who does
not sugarcoat motherhood.

I appreciate your
honesty @ItsMeLilLucky
I am a cat mom
(Hey it
is the same thing
to me; stop hating)
and I love
my cat to death
but even he
drives me crazy
sometimes, but I
would not give
him up for
the world...yet
I know I don't
want another.

I'm a cat mom as well lol no judgments. If something, God-forbid happens to her I don't think I'd get another cat. But who knows *shrugs* I'm less sure of animals than of kids

 

[lavaflow99]

 

[PatDM'T]

I'm a cat mom as well lol no judgments. If something, God-forbid happens to her I don't think I'd get another cat. But who knows *shrugs* I'm less sure of animals than of kids

You and I
are so >here<

I so get
the last line.

 

[Evolving78]

I think we are seeing the aftermath of the pandemic and the aftermath of these babies conceived and birthed during the pandemic too.

 

[TrulyBlessed]

I’ve been coming across this rhetoric below lately and I agree with it. This is pertaining to those who are looking for marriage. Thoughts?

After a certain age the boyfriend/girlfriend title is childish and pointless. A relationship is just a fancy form of a situationship. You are single until you’re married.

 

[Plushottie]

I don’t like to call any form of partnership if it’s truly sacred less than because sadly marriage has some negative pr that alimony just doesn’t soothe. But the one sided stuff now that’s not for anyone’s benefit even the person who may be getting as long run will be of no deep work.
I believe the person I end up w will be a divorcee or civil union ex and hopefully the relationship will leave them stronger.

 

[yaya24]

I don’t like to call any form of partnership if it’s truly sacred less than because sadly marriage has some negative pr that alimony just doesn’t soothe. But the one sided stuff now that’s not for anyone’s benefit even the person who may be getting as long run will be of no deep work.
I believe the person I end up w will be a divorcee or civil union ex and hopefully the relationship will leave them stronger.

Thats what I was going for.

My ex fiance was married for 10 years & then I met him 4 years post his divorce.

They MUST do the inner work between marriages or you end up with a dud...and pick right back up at some of the characteristics of WHY they got divorced in the first place.

I'm going to be 39 yrs old mid October.

I don't know when I will be open to dating again, but in the mean time I'm all in on ME. I'll be hitting the gym at least 2xs a week (rejoined Orange Theory last week) + doing some at home workouts, going back to therapy in October, hanging out with all the girlfriends, traveling (already have 2 trips all set), and focusing on being a better version of myself.

I'm pretty sure I saw that my ex fiance already started re-following one of his ex situationships (from after his divorce) on IG..and a bunch of other Dallas women (he probably used to see before me).

Men can really know how to disappoint..lol.

 

[Sosoothing]

Thats what I was going for.

My ex fiance was married for 10 years & then I met him 4 years post his divorce.

They MUST do the inner work between marriages or you end up with a dud...and pick right back up at some of the characteristics of WHY they got divorced in the first place.

I'm going to be 39 yrs old mid October.

I don't know when I will be open to dating again, but in the mean time I'm all in on ME. I'll be hitting the gym at least 2xs a week (rejoined Orange Theory last week) + doing some at home workouts, going back to therapy in October, hanging out with all the girlfriends, traveling (already have 2 trips all set), and focusing on being a better version of myself.

I'm pretty sure I saw that my ex fiance already started re-following one of his ex situationships (from after his divorce) on IG..and a bunch of other Dallas women (he probably used to see before me).

Men can really know how to disappoint..lol.

This is the kind of man you should feel sorry for. He clearly has things within himself he needs to work on and heal. It doesn't feel great right now but in due time, you already know you'll be just fine (hug) .

 

[yaya24]

This is the kind of man you should feel sorry for. He clearly has things within himself he needs to work on and heal. It doesn't feel great right now but in due time, you already know you'll be just fine (hug) .

Thanks sis

 

[ItsMeLilLucky]

@yaya24 My birthday is in October too! Actually mid Oct as well, and I have a lot of work to do as well lol. I have taken dating off the table right now because there's a lot on my plate as of this moment, but I trust God will set me in front of who I need be in front of when the time is right just like He did with Ruth.

 

[yaya24]

@yaya24 My birthday is in October too! Actually mid Oct as well, and I have a lot of work to do as well lol. I have taken dating off the table right now because there's a lot on my plate as of this moment, but I trust God will set me in front of who I need be in front of when the time is right just like He did with Ruth.

Hey Libra sis
Mine is 10/14..

I usually like to do solo self-care on my bday.. I've never been a big birthday person (its the introvert in me). I'm just happy to be healthy, have a sound mind and ALIVE.
When the "milestone" birthdays come- I'm open to doing more.

How do you like to celebrate?

men are literally EVERYWHERE... figuring out the quality ones-- thats the fun part *rolls eyes*

When the time is right I'll give one a chance again lol.

 

[ItsMeLilLucky]

@yaya24 You dodged a bullet but that was still sucky. People shouldn't be allowed to date until they got some counseling.

 

[Plushottie]

Thats what I was going for.

My ex fiance was married for 10 years & then I met him 4 years post his divorce.

They MUST do the inner work between marriages or you end up with a dud...and pick right back up at some of the characteristics of WHY they got divorced in the first place.

I'm going to be 39 yrs old mid October.

I don't know when I will be open to dating again, but in the mean time I'm all in on ME. I'll be hitting the gym at least 2xs a week (rejoined Orange Theory last week) + doing some at home workouts, going back to therapy in October, hanging out with all the girlfriends, traveling (already have 2 trips all set), and focusing on being a better version of myself.

I'm pretty sure I saw that my ex fiance already started re-following one of his ex situationships (from after his divorce) on IG..and a bunch of other Dallas women (he probably used to see before me).

Men can really know how to disappoint..lol.

Your smart and very grounded. It’s like at my age I know getting a never married no kids man may be a stretch but the inner work and reflection is mandatory I will not be subjected to marital hazing.

 

[PatDM'T]

 

[ItsMeLilLucky]

Hey Libra sis
Mine is 10/14..

I usually like to do solo self-care on my bday.. I've never been a big birthday person (its the introvert in me). I'm just happy to be healthy, have a sound mind and ALIVE.
When the "milestone" birthdays come- I'm open to doing more.

How do you like to celebrate?

men are literally EVERYWHERE... figuring out the quality ones-- thats the fun part *rolls eyes*

When the time is right I'll give one a chance again lol.

Mine is 10/20!
I usually have a rough time on my birthday and it's rainy most of the time so this year I'm gonna do some self care and probably go out to eat, because my kid's birthday is literally the following week I asked God to hide me from everyone that's not my husband, and to cover my eyes to anyone who's not my husband. I did tell Him I do like complements though

 

[lavaflow99]

Brian Bartoe on Instagram: "Am I right? #dating #damaged #over40 #terrible #single #forlife #brianbtoe"

63K likes, 3,194 comments - brian_btoe on June 24, 2023: "Am I right? #dating #damaged #over40 #terrible #single #forlife #brianbtoe".

www.instagram.com

Sigh....

 

[TrulyBlessed]

Just found out a guy who’s been in my DMs for a while doesn’t have a car. Satan get thee behind.

 

[GraceJones]

I'm really struggling. I'm shocked as to how I ended up in this position. I did all the things that people say you should. I spent such a large amount of money trying to improve my appearance and on dating coaches. Like literally thousands of dollars. I worked on my low self-esteem in therapy. I really, really put effort towards this and it all slipped away from me. I just don't understand why men don't even take an initial interest in me.

I've tried to mitigate some of my desires and expectations. The men that I really liked didn't seem interested, so I just adjusted to the ones that did. People say have high standards, but what if nobody you meet ever matches them?

When I was young I had this really beautiful dream that I would lose my virginity to the man I married. That seemed unrealistic so I just decided to lose it to a man that I loved. Never fell in love, so I decided I would just lose it to my first boyfriend. Could barely find a man that would ask me out more than 3x. I was a virgin up until my late 20s. I just decided to lose it to a guy I went out with a few times and he ended up treating me awfully.

I didn't date for about 2 years after that. I met this recent guy. He was the first guy I actually dated for more than a few weeks. He was much kinder and gentler to me than the first, but still saw me inconsistently. He eventually told me that he decided he didn't want to see me anymore because he wanted someone else. I'm about to be in my mid-30s without ever having a serious relationship in my life. I feel so much shame. I'm doubtful if I will ever have children now that I am so old and never had success with dating.

I'm trying not to become bitter but I cry about this every day. I'm a such a loss and I wonder how this dating concept managed to evade me. How do some women get so much attention?