*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

TrulyBlessed said:
So what’s the etiquette when people message you on dating apps? There’s no way I’m responding to everyone. I messaged a few people of interest back so do you just ignore the others and delete them?

Nice selections so far. eHarmony definitely puts a lot of work into the compatibility algorithm.
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Yeah I only answer messages that interest me. Everyone else gets ignored and deleted. There's usually too many guys to go through to be replying to every old body. Plus I don't want to give anyone false hope.
 
Welp young buck finally showed his true colors. I had suspected he may be a narcissist and I believe I just inflicted a narcissistic injury. I voiced my concerns about all this texting, few calls with no hanging out even though we’re practically neighbors. I told him I’m ok with just being friends to take the pressure off dating if he’s not comfortable and that I still wanted to see him in person. I was friendly and light hearted yet honest in my text. He responded he’s busy with personal business goals and is setting his boundaries, said he can schedule a call with me for an hour on Thursday, and that we can see each other in person in March for my birthday. This fool is crazy and mean. He’s done!

So the commitment phobe case study ended in a narcissist case study except I’m not sticking around for that. I already know how dangerous and damaging they are.
 
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TrulyBlessed said:
Welp young buck finally showed his true colors. I had suspected he may be a narcissist and I believe I just inflicted a narcissistic injury. I voiced my concerns about all this texting, few calls with no hanging out even though we’re practically neighbors. I told him I’m ok with just being friends to take the pressure off dating if he’s not comfortable and that I still wanted to see him in person. I was friendly and light hearted yet honest in my text. He responded he’s busy with personal business goals and is setting his boundaries, said he can schedule a call with me for an hour on Thursday, and that we can see each other in person in March for my birthday. This fool is crazy and mean. He’s done!

So the commitment phobe case study ended in a narcissist case study except I’m not sticking around for that. I already know how dangerous and damaging they are.
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I would go beyond that he is not mature on so many levels. He isn’t mentally able to maneuver. I would block and act as tho he doesn’t exist even if I passed him on the streets. Manipulator and push pull just gross me from men. Your too pretty for that.
 
@Plushottie Staying single is looking mighty tempting! I see why people say dating is rough now and my usual happy go lucky self is not built for this lol.

You ever have fun butterflies in your stomach when you have a crush on someone. I had those for him in the beginning but the past week it has turned into constant chest anxiety and I have never experienced that with someone I’ve dated. I knew it was red flags trying to say danger ahead but I was waiting for a blatant sign. Well now that I see the crazy I’m good. One thing I know how to do is leave when I finally get a huge warning sign. That’s why phone calls and in person contact is important. With all this texting it’s been hard to get to know the real him and that has probably been his strategy all along. He also despised being asked getting to know you questions. I hope this helps someone.

I’ll leave out the details but I also suspected that he may be bisexual. I was waiting for the right time to ask but never got to it.
 
@TrulyBlessed I have been in that position and it stings a bit. I’m glad you know how to bail because he wasn’t deserving of your brilliance not a crumb. Dating isn’t hard people who lack the proper mental growth who pose as eligible dating partners are.
If you want love don’t hide behind safety of being single, continue to mingle, be hyper discriminate and may the best qualified man win.
 
decided to take a mental health day from work tomorrow. We may or may not have a snow day friday....

i'll be returning to school part-time in the fall taking online classes. Kinda excited, but nervous and cautious. Re-starting my prereqs for nursing after last summer had me SHOOK after i ended up failing microbiology. Maybe I should start off taking statistics and slowly ease into the rest of my 7 classes.

I need to really be using up all my PTO. Especially once I get my new job. Doing a hair-related no-buy for february.

Trying not to stress about school too much but I also don't want to overwork myself.
 
So in these crazy times I’m seeing through negro social media that there’s a new unwritten rule among men that they expect a woman to sleep with them by the 3rd date (trash and obviously women must be going along with this for it to become a thing). They feel paying for dates means sex. They also claim dates without sex is friendship. This is sad and long gone are the days where men would be honored to take a woman out and get to know her without expectations or pressure. Do you ladies go 50/50 so these hound dogs can chill out (although they still may try) or do you stick with tradition and allow him to pay/invest and just shoot him down if he tries to sleep with you?
 
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@TrulyBlessed pay for a what???!!! My presence cost money far more than a dinner date. The objective of a woman is to be hyper discriminate w men. I wouldn’t entertain anyone who thinks a lil meal holds anything near a exchange w me. I use to be heavy on Twitter and followed a lot of ladies of the night and even did a book club w them. I will just say I know their views aren’t held here but I identified with their view highly. Men who know just indiscriminately have relations appear weak and unstable to me.
 
I shoot them down 100%. I don't have time for that with these men out here. I don't even feel safe enough to think about dating someone. This has happened to me many times as a teenager and especially off and on in my 20s. I had a similar convo with a guy that I was interested in, a few years ago before I graduated from college. He told me if he was dating a girl that he wouldn't consider it a relationship if sex didn't happen within the first 3 months. I told him I would never date anyone who felt that they were that entitled to even insinuate that just because we went out on a date, that I somehow owe them anything sex related. We haven't spoken in years and are no longer friends.
 
@CoiledOrchids
I had a relative spout that nonsense. Ladies please be careful out here. I’m not celibate for religious reasons. I have come to understand that nothing positive or longstanding is gained from having sexual relationships outside of marriage. I’m not about playing the game or risking my life for it either. Some folks feel because they didn’t do much in their youth, they may have missed out on something.. Well all you missed out on was a wet behind.
 
Anyone ever dated a guy who battles depression. He takes meds and sees a therapist weekly which is great but I don’t know what I would be getting myself into.
 
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