**shacking Random Thoughts**

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Honey Bee

Honey Bee

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We don't have one so I thought, why not?

Let's use this place to talk about *how* to do this shacking up thing.

Are you shacking while engaged?
Are you shacking indefinitely?
Are you shacking with babies?
Do you cook and clean and do laundry?

Basically, what are your boundaries? How far are you willing to let this thing go? :look:

Discuss!

eta: @Theresamonet, @mzpurp, @prettyinpurple
 
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I cook regularly but only clean when things start to bother me. :look: Lazy, yes, but also, I ain't wearing myself out. This is HIS apt, HIS mess, and it's up to him to either handle it or empower me to do so. We send out his laundry and the house stuff, mine is too delicate. We also have a nice Mexican lady who comes seasonally to clean whatever I'm unwilling to deal with. :yep: :look:

I only cook because I'm a bit of a foodie and I've turned him into one too, so I get points for something I was gonna do anyway. :lol:

My big rule for this is: no babies til marriage. We're very firm on that. :yep: Now when we're getting married? Who knows? We just started wanting kids, though, like it just came upon us, so maybe soon enough that I'll still be able to squeeze out one or two. :lol:

As more people post, I'll ask questions to move things along. Anybody else who wants to ask something, go on 'head!
 
If I didn't have kids I would shack with a SO. Once my youngest goes to college I will def be looking for some live in love :giggle:

I'm a traditional woman at heart and was a textbook traditional wife but if I shack it will be a modern relationship as far as the household is concerned :yep:
 
We have been shacking for 2 years. If I could go back in time, I would NOT have done it.

I'm planning now how to get rid of him.

Finances. He takes care of prob 60%. However I will be going back to FT nursing and I can handle that.

We both cook and clean. He does the deep cleaning and dishes. I do mine and kids laundry. I pick up a lot because spiders tend to hide in boxes and piles and I hate spiders.

Two kids...1 from previous relationship. He is an involved parent.
 
SO totally freaked out (over something that, to be fair, is pretty important), but somehow I managed to maintain zen-like calm, solve the problem, and graciously accept his apology. Relationships really do change you cuz young HB woulda cussed his tail out. And he knows it too, cuz he was like, 'I really want to thank you-- No. I really want to thank you...' :lol:

I'm not entirely selfless, though, I will be expecting a 'bonus'. :look: (He knows that too.)
 
I'm here for this!! I used to be Team No-Shack-Until-Engagement, until I got engaged and realized all of that traditional box fitting was a waste of my time. Now I'm extremely modern in my love relationships. I have no babies, so that isn't an issue. I do most of the laundry, until he realized he was better at it. We had been splitting it for a while (except towels and sheets, which I handled). I came home the other week to all of my clothes washed and folded/stacked....talk about happy!

We both cook, and I do any baking. We both clean, but he does most of the heavy lifting. He also handles all of the tech stuff around the house (which is a lot!) and anything that needs to be fixed or maintained on the house or autos.

I've found that by letting go of the traditional box (which for me was defined mostly by Baptist Church belief systems) it has given me space to have a more flowing, more happy relationship. I have boundaries, but they are a lot less rigid and defined than before.

@Honey Bee I'm excited about the news on wanting the babies!! I can have 1-2 babies and be good also, 3 seems scary to me.
 
fuchsiastar said:
I'm excited about the news on wanting the babies!! I can have 1-2 babies and be good also, 3 seems scary to me.
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I'm not gon' lie, actually pushing them out myself sounds crazy to me. :look: Like, wow. But. We have good genes and grandmamas that need grandbabies, so I guess I need to get over my existential fear of being ripped in two. I'm working on it. :look:

But we always planned to adopt anyway. Having our own is just a bit of vanity.
 
idk why people are so anti-shacking. i would never not live with a man first that i expected to marry.

i guess people think it would be too hard to move on if things didn't work out? not me. let too much time pass, im having "the talk" and moving on with my life same as if we didn't live together.
 
I'm not shacking up at the moment but I see it in the future, I think lol! I actually wanted to because I had to move and it would've saved me a load of money but he backed out, so I moved out on my own. I'm interested in reading about ya'll experiences shaking up tho!
 
qchelle said:
He does a LOT. he does most of the 'stuff'. You can usually find me sitting or laying down somewhere, waiting for him to bring me something.
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:lol: Me too, I do what I'm 'supposed to do' around the house and not a drop more. Sometimes I feel really bad about it... but those feelings quickly pass. :look:

All that extra is the 'milk' he ain't paid for yet. That's why he's bringing *me* beverages and ish. :look:
 
qchelle said:
Have you guys had your parents visit? I guess this would be duhh if you've been there for a while, right? His parents have visited, mine haven't yet. I think they are coming this weekend :D
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My mother visits pretty regular, so do his people. In fact, I think those are the only guests we've had here. (We tend to meet our friends out somewhere.) I go all out for his family, though, because it reflects on him. My mother is just happy to see us, she don't care. :lol:
 
CaraWalker said:
idk why people are so anti-shacking. i would never not live with a man first that i expected to marry.

i guess people think it would be too hard to move on if things didn't work out? not me. let too much time pass, im having "the talk" and moving on with my life same as if we didn't live together.
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I agree with this whole post. I think it's tied into the 'don't worry about boys until marriage' thing. :rolleyes: Which is silly, cuz how would you even recognize a good marriage partner if you have no experience with the opposite sex? :spinning: People getting set up to fail.
 
Honey Bee said:
Start a thread and tell us all about it. :yep:
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I'm sure yall have been here long enough to have seen the many threads on that. No thank you, I don't start threads, lol. Just had a comment on the speculation while browsing through.
 
Too afraid of shacking. The traditionalist in me is so rigid plus I'm paranoid that I'll be so sprung with the regular D everyday that I might be engaged for 10 yrs without realizing it. Since I know my weakness, the only way I can do it is 6 months before the wedding after the invitations have gone out.
 
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