**shacking Random Thoughts**

Status
Not open for further replies.
ScorpioLove said:
Would that assume the man isn't paying a good portion of the bills?
Click to expand...


No. Its stating the fact that the rent or mortgage and property all together is in the woman's name and that man is living in that woman's house on her property. That right there is some btcharseness.

A woman moving in is different. If its a serious relationship and he plans on staying put for a while her name can easily be added to the deed. But a man moving in with a woman? Chile. Laughs for days (or years lol). Coincidentally, a friend of a friend is in a lightweight situation similar. Its a mess. Man claims he has this, this and this. Whatever. We think he either has another situation somewhere else or is secretly broke......

But some women are on that feminist tip for their relationship so it works for them. My POV is the furthest from that.
 
Last edited:
barbiesocialite said:
No. Its stating the fact that the rent or mortgage and property all together is in the woman's name and that man is living in that woman's house on her property. That right there is some btcharseness.

A woman moving in is different. If its a serious relationship and he plans on staying put for a while her name can easily be added to the deed. But a man moving in with a woman? Chile. Laughs for days (or years lol). Coincidentally, a friend of a friend is in a lightweight situation similar. Its a mess. Man claims he has this, this and this. Whatever. We think he either has another situation somewhere else or is secretly broke......

But some women are on that feminist tip for their relationship so it works for them. My POV is the furthest from that.
Click to expand...

I was raised in a very traditional household so I guess I understand that. Just practical wise I can see it being tedious if a woman owns her own property furniture etc.

I had to do a 1000 mile move and I promised I would not put myself through that again.
 
barbiesocialite said:
No. Its stating the fact that the rent or mortgage and property all together is in the woman's name and that man is living in that woman's house on her property. That right there is some btcharseness.

A woman moving in is different. If its a serious relationship and he plans on staying put for a while her name can easily be added to the deed. But a man moving in with a woman? Chile. Laughs for days (or years lol). Coincidentally, a friend of a friend is in a lightweight situation similar. Its a mess. Man claims he has this, this and this. Whatever. We think he either has another situation somewhere else or is secretly broke......

But some women are on that feminist tip for their relationship so it works for them. My POV is the furthest from that.
Click to expand...


Welp.

We found put the truth, he's broke. Ninja stole her credit card......
 
How long did she know him for? I feel like finances must have never been discussed in that kind of situation. How was he living before he moved in?
 
ScorpioLove said:
How long did she know him for? I feel like finances must have never been discussed in that kind of situation. How was he living before he moved in?
Click to expand...


She's a doctor and hes allegedly a millionaire businessman. But we did research and found out his company is trouble with feds freezing assets. They've been dating for a little over 6 months.
 
I moved in to his condo once we got engaged and it's going really well. I wasn't budging on living together before I got this ring so he had a roommate for a while to make some extra money. He bought this place cash and that's one of the most attractive qualities to me-he's soooo savvy with money.

We're having a really good time, we love each other's company! He has been impressed with my cooking-I didn't really cook for him before. I'm having fun adding little random feminine touches to the place. I am considering getting a monthly cleaning service in 2018 cause I'm lowkey lazy :look:

As soon as the wedding is done, we will look for a townhouse or maybe just a regular single family home together. I'm also stacking for a rental in my name because well you know...always gotta have that plan B, right.
 
Y'all silent.

Let me just talk for a bit and then...hopefully y'all will talk for a bit? I know there must be a good amount of people living with a man who isn't their husband on the board. Maybe they just don't come into this forum. I know I just started frequenting this area.

ANYWAY, my story is that I met my boyfriend somewhat recently, and we fell hard and fast. I'm into astrology so I had our complete charts done and we are a literal perfect match. It's insane.

We live five+ hours away from each other and he was planning to move up here--I was planning on leaving this area before we met and told him not to do that, because then we'd both be miserable. I'm an attorney and my state doesn't have reciprocity with his state, and I'm not confident enough to take another Bar exam while working full time. So, he suggested we get a place where he lives so I can quit my job and study full-time.

Everyone around us is so excited. He's excited. I'm excited. I'm also terrified. I never thought I'd be the type of woman to quit a job and move for my relationship. I've never lived with a significant other before. All of this--the feelings, my reactions, his reactions--are really new for me.

I think what most shocks and excites me is that I never wanted to have children, and wasn't even sure I'd want to get married. When I lost my Dad a couple years back, I realized I needed to share my love and personality with people outside my family--not to brag, but I have a hell of a lot to offer and I never gave it fully, to anyone (outside of familial love). After losing Dad, I didn't say I definitely wanted to have kids and have marriage--just that it was on the table for me. Well, I want to marry him and have his children. First time I've felt that in life, and I'm in my thirties. And everything is going so smoothly. I'm a worrier so it's almost like I'm worrying about not being worried.

Did any of you guys quit your job when you moved in or at some point when you lived with your man, even if I was temporary? How did that affect you and your relationship? I know I still want a career and my unemployment will be temporary (by choice), but I never would've thought this would be my situation. I feel good now, but who knows how I'm gonna feel come April (when I move).

I'm not looking for advice, but I only have one in my real life that have been in this situation. Thoughts welcome.
 
Honey Bee said:
We don't have one so I thought, why not?

Let's use this place to talk about *how* to do this shacking up thing.

Are you shacking while engaged?
Are you shacking indefinitely?
Are you shacking with babies?
Do you cook and clean and do laundry?

Basically, what are your boundaries? How far are you willing to let this thing go? :look:

Discuss!

eta: @Theresamonet, @mzpurp, @prettyinpurple
Click to expand...
I’m shacking. Right now we’re domestic partners registered. We met 2.5 years ago and have been together since. I broke most of the rules but didn’t care because I was doing me after being newly single from separating from my ex-h. Things went beautifully fast and he wanted and chased me from the start, though I wasn’t looking for nothing serious right away.

If he proposes, that’s great, but if not I’m ok with that. We talked about it and we both want marriage. But I been married and divorced so I ain’t trippin. We want another house and he has excellent credit so my high student loans and low credit would efph that up if we got married right now. So maybe after we get this next house.

I’m far happier in this relationship than when I was married so...I have a daughter and he has three kids, one of whom lives with us. He does 99% of cooking, laundry, and is handy around the house. He pays all bills and I pay the mortgage. *meh* It works for me/us becsause it frees up over half my pay and I stack that up in my separate bank account very nicely every month. :look: We both work and have opposite shifts. We’re looking to have another baby of our own soon cuz I ain’t getting any younger.
 
Last edited:
GreenEyedJen said:
Y'all silent.

Let me just talk for a bit and then...hopefully y'all will talk for a bit? I know there must be a good amount of people living with a man who isn't their husband on the board. Maybe they just don't come into this forum. I know I just started frequenting this area.

ANYWAY, my story is that I met my boyfriend somewhat recently, and we fell hard and fast. I'm into astrology so I had our complete charts done and we are a literal perfect match. It's insane.

We live five+ hours away from each other and he was planning to move up here--I was planning on leaving this area before we met and told him not to do that, because then we'd both be miserable. I'm an attorney and my state doesn't have reciprocity with his state, and I'm not confident enough to take another Bar exam while working full time. So, he suggested we get a place where he lives so I can quit my job and study full-time.

Everyone around us is so excited. He's excited. I'm excited. I'm also terrified. I never thought I'd be the type of woman to quit a job and move for my relationship. I've never lived with a significant other before. All of this--the feelings, my reactions, his reactions--are really new for me.

I think what most shocks and excites me is that I never wanted to have children, and wasn't even sure I'd want to get married. When I lost my Dad a couple years back, I realized I needed to share my love and personality with people outside my family--not to brag, but I have a hell of a lot to offer and I never gave it fully, to anyone (outside of familial love). After losing Dad, I didn't say I definitely wanted to have kids and have marriage--just that it was on the table for me. Well, I want to marry him and have his children. First time I've felt that in life, and I'm in my thirties. And everything is going so smoothly. I'm a worrier so it's almost like I'm worrying about not being worried.

Did any of you guys quit your job when you moved in or at some point when you lived with your man, even if I was temporary? How did that affect you and your relationship? I know I still want a career and my unemployment will be temporary (by choice), but I never would've thought this would be my situation. I feel good now, but who knows how I'm gonna feel come April (when I move).

I'm not looking for advice, but I only have one in my real life that have been in this situation. Thoughts welcome.
Click to expand...
Hey girl. I can relate to things moving fast. We both fell fast and hard for each other. Our relationship is close to perfect for both of us and it’s a bit scary. I am woman whose always has my own ish.t so I would not be keen on moving somewhere with no job. My SO moved in with me because I was in the process of buying a house when we met. I’d be studying my arse off for that bar if I had to quit my current job cuz a bih need her coins. If he has it like that for you to quit, I would definitely chill and wait at least another six months to a year depending on how long y’all been together. Then if things still cool after some more time, I’d make the move with the condition that I pass the bar and work part time at first to keep my skills fresh and have my tuck away account. Then if things is still on point with homeboy, I would only quit my part time if I had kids.
 
I shacked briefly. I started off on my own floor in my own room. We just gave up cause he kept coming up there

I cleaned after myself
I did my own laundry
I had no kids in tow he had a teen in the home

BUT YALL KNOW ME I AIN'T PAY NAN BILL. NEVAH EVAH. HE ASKED ME TO CALL IN HIS PAYMENTS AND
I ASKED WHY HE WAS BEING MEAN TO ME. WHO BEEN CALLIN EM IN.
 
My DH and I started "shacking" before we got engaged. I hated it! I guess I had more traditional Judeo-Christian beliefs than I thought because it made me feel uncomfortable when discussing living arrangements with others. I have no idea why living arrangements were ever a topic of discussion, but I hated acknowledging it. However, it was great to save money, get to know my potential spouse better, blah, blah blah.

I do think you can open yourself up to some risky entanglements by shacking, though. If the relationship goes left, you can find yourself in small claims court. Bottom line: Would I ever want my daughters to shack? HELL TO THE NO!
 
Froreal3 said:
Hey girl. I can relate to things moving fast. We both fell fast and hard for each other. Our relationship is close to perfect for both of us and it’s a bit scary. I am woman whose always has my own ish.t so I would not be keen on moving somewhere with no job. My SO moved in with me because I was in the process of buying a house when we met. I’d be studying my arse off for that bar if I had to quit my current job cuz a bih need her coins. If he has it like that for you to quit, I would definitely chill and wait at least another six months to a year depending on how long y’all been together. Then if things still cool after some more time, I’d make the move with the condition that I pass the bar and work part time at first to keep my skills fresh and have my tuck away account. Then if things is still on point with homeboy, I would only quit my part time if I had kids.
Click to expand...

I feel you. You gotta study your ass off for the Bar anyway. Job or no job. Move or no move :laugh:

He's already got our new place and we're some of moving our stuff in this month (I'm moving my summer clothes and selling my second bedroom furniture, he's moving his stuff from his old place to our new one).

I'm not quitting work full time for longer than a year. I'm taking the exam in his state and then going back to work. I'm not interested in staying at home right now. We want to vacation, party, and stack paper before we have kids.

He assuaged my worries about being a burden this past weekend, plus my family met him and love him, so I'm feeling better about the situation. Thanks for the thoughts.
 
Welp, let me help keep this thread a live. I've been married and divorced twice. Meet the man of my dreams he is ok with not getting married and I am too. I don't ever plan on getting married again, it ruins good relationships.
 
gn1g said:
Welp, let me help keep this thread a live. I've been married and divorced twice. Meet the man of my dreams he is ok with not getting married and I am too. I don't ever plan on getting married again, it ruins good relationships.
Click to expand...
Damn! Say it ain’t so!!! Why sis?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT
  • Poll Poll
SHACKING up..... are you down?
2 3 4
Replies
117
Views
3K
BookGal84
BookGal84
A
Thoughts on Shacking?
Replies
11
Views
2K
Amante
A
Lucia
Getting married vs. Living Together
Replies
24
Views
607
Lucia
Lucia
movingforward13
What Happened?
2
Replies
56
Views
2K
movingforward13
movingforward13
T
The "Rules" girls
Replies
23
Views
757
caribeandiva
caribeandiva
Back
Top