Kurlee
Well-Known Member
i'm shocked that they did not talk about this before they got married
erplexed.
Paying Bills And Marriage
- Thread starter NOEChic
- Start date
erplexed.
menina
Believing the book of Revelations
Yes, but it's too close lol. Currently he's full time and I'm part time. If we were to get married tomorrow there would be a his account, a joint account, and my account, because we don't want to be breathing down each others necks about spending.
He would be responsible for most things anyway cause he makes more and I would probably just pay for smaller things.Those percentages in the OP are just weird to me.
This is how I see it, every woman will not be fortunate enough to have a husband that can afford 100% of the expenses and that's fine. I don't understand the distaste around here for egalitarian marriages. If you don't want one then don't get one but when it reaches the point to where I'm sitting there looking like why do I have you around again, I lived better single then it's time we have a talk
but when it reaches the point to where I'm sitting there looking like why do I have you around again, I lived better single then it's time we have a talk Right. I'm always doing various side jobs for extra income. I wish a man would come running after me with a notebook asking me how much I'm making so he can recalculate the savings/discretionary chart.
See this is me. I'm already planning to have no less than 10 rental properties constantly in rotation. That money is mine.
Ipanema
Well-Known Member
Mods please don't move
Scenerio (Not me I jacked this from somewhere else)
Me and my girlfriend have some disagreements in how to split bills IF we were to get married. The way I think bills should be split is in the ratio of the incomes. She takes home $3100/month and I take home $6200/month. So, if our joint expenses hypothetically would be $3500/month then this is the way I would do it. 50% of each paycheck would go to savings (this %tage would be adjusted later depending future expenses - kids etc.)
Her contribution to bills: $1150 (around 33%), to savings: $1550, remainder: $400
My contribution to bills: $2350 (67%), to savings: $3100, remainder: $750
The remainder is a discretionary expense for each person to spend on their personal interests/hobbies etc. Now, she takes offense to the fact that I get to have $750 in spending money and she gets only $400. She says it should be equal regardless of who makes more or less IF we were to be married.
What do you guys think? I have many more hobbies than she does.
He must have gotten this idea from Suze Orman because I heard her say this is how couples should split their money on her show.
MD_Lady
Well-Known Member
Agreed, but I believe the poster I was responding to was speaking on the broader issue of people giving their
about other people's relationships. Talking honestly about what works for (the general) you and your relationship isn't the problem, not respecting that someone else can be perfectly happy in a relationship with a different dynamic than yours is.
menina
Believing the book of Revelations
I see 'his money is our money, my money is my money' phrase coming into this discussion.
My only question with that is: Why exclude your (general) money out of the budget if everything is 'one'?
Also my question isn't directed towards those who don't have an income/SAH or those who are with a generous rich man. I wouldn't question a woman in those positions for not contributing to the budget.
I think that a working adult should contibute to the bills but I think that it is distasteful for a man to try to nickel and dime a woman much less his woman. If he knows that he is making thousands more than she is and the rent is one thousand or under, I dont get why he would not just go ahead and pay the rent. Or go ahead and pick up the cable bill with the extra sports channel package. etc. If I have a wife and I am making 10k and she is making 4k I would not expect her to pay as many bills as me. If I can pay all the bills and still have the equivalent of her take home pay in my pocket its ridiculous and beneath me to chase after her for her "half".
And to the person who said your man may not be able to pay the bills by himself...rework the budget so that it is a little more possible. I have a friend working at Mcdonald's as an assistant manager of 15 years
(I know) but she is completely able to support her girlfriend and will soon purchase a home for the two of them. If she can do it, it tells me that others just have budgets that are not in line with their incomes.
FemmeCreole
Island Gyal
Ok the both contribute 33% of their salary to bills. Obviously his dollar amount is still more than hers. Same with the savings. His dollar amount is more than hers but it goes in THEIR account so it's all theirs. She has a larger savings despited contributing the smaller amount. So after all bills and savings she still has $400 to blow. If they do things together I'm sure he's gonna use from his $700+ to spend on her.
What's the big deal?
What's the big deal?
BEAUTYU2U
Well-Known Member
He isn't prepared for her to possibly be a stay at home wife
They can still re-figure when that comes up.
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
They can still re-figure when that comes up.
and he's going to make sure she gets a job when the kids go to school bc he'll make sure to point out that she's laying around all day, using his money and not contributing.
We have to assume all of this because then there would be nothing to talk about
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
well if she's marrying this guy, most likely being a SAHM isnt in the works or even an option.'
He clearly expects her to work to earn her keep and that's all she's going to get. His words in the OP.
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BEAUTYU2U
Well-Known Member
Good point.Again, how should the budget be then? What does the alternative look like? Are we advocating he pays all the bills? She just does extras? What?
BEAUTYU2U
Well-Known Member
well if she's marrying this guy, most likely being a SAHM isnt in the works or even an option.'
He clearly expects her to work to earn her keep and that's all she's going to get. His words in the OP.
Ok, I re-read and he never said that
I think that was reading between the lines, not the actual lines.
doriannc
Well-Known Member
I'm confused. I know marriage is a partnership, but even the 2 parties have to contribute. What is the proposed budget that is LHCF approved? That he pay all the expenses and savings and she uses her money for play? Because resentment on his side will set in real quick.
Brwnbeauti
Well-Known Member
Idk. When I think about what a woman contributes to a home- cleaning, cooking, hosting, being friendly with dh co workers and their wives, AND having babies.... Shoots even if men pay all the bills they're still in the red.
Paying bills isn't the only way to contribute.
Paying bills isn't the only way to contribute.
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BEAUTYU2U
Well-Known Member
Eh, I expect him to clean, cook, and be an active father though. Now if he's paying everything ...
Southernbella.
Well-Known Member
Again, how should the budget be then? What does the alternative look like? Are we advocating he pays all the bills? She just does extras? What?
Both checks are direct deposited into the joint account. X amount goes to bills, X amount to savings/investments, X amount to private accounts if that's your thing, and X amount is mad money. No nickel and diming, no hair splitting, just our money being used for us.
Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF
BEAUTYU2U
Well-Known Member
Thanks. With this model, there would still be re-budgeting if she wanted to be a SAHM. It all seems quite logical to me.
Eh, I expect him to clean, cook, and be an active father though. Now if he's paying everything ...
That is another thing that could be different about peoples relationships and why people expect different things monetarily. I naturally always pick up the cooking and cleaning, typically because I don't think others can do them well enough for me
Brwnbeauti
Well-Known Member
That is another thing that could be different about peoples relationships and why people expect different things monetarily. I naturally always pick up the cooking and cleaning, typically because I don't think others can do them well enough for me
^^^ this is me.
When he does laundry Dh stay drying my bras- as a small breasted chick this makes me really sad because the padded ones that are realistic looking cost a pretty penny and drying them makes the cups curl.
I think most women expect their husbands to be active fathers
yardyspice
Well-Known Member
There is a logical reason a man should be prepared to completely support his wife -- a woman should have the option to stay home and raise her own children, she should be able to stay home if she's having a difficult pregnancy, (or be a SAHW if she wants.) If he's not prepared financially or emotionally to do these things, then he is just not ready for marriage.
brownb83
Well-Known Member
This!!!! Most men don't want to cook or clean once they get a wife.
Women sacrifice a lot in marriage I think that's he disconnect, some women feel like the financial extras are one of the main benefits.
Because you better believe if said wife slips on cooking & cleaning you will know it.
I'm not saying men don't sacrifice but IMO being a wife a GOOD wife takes a lot.
BEAUTYU2U
Well-Known Member
Absolutely, that's why I said they should re-figure in those cases. Work with what works for you.
Housing/bills/groceries/daily maintenance -one income. Other income used for savings, investments, holiday upgrades, and other discretionary spending.
yardyspice
Well-Known Member
What's so hard about that?
Dude's sitting there with a calculator. I wonder if she can only eat a certain percentage of food based on her income
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