Paying Bills And Marriage
- Thread starter NOEChic
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TopShelf
Sewing & Growing Gamma Gal
I see this a couple of ways. On the one hand she is saving way more than she would have been had she been paying all of her bills on her own, so she still benefits from this "boyfriend budget". Also just because you are in a household that generates more money does not mean that you need to spend more especially if you live with a man who will most likely foot the bill for all if not most joint activities.
I see plenty of wives throw money away just because they know that there is always more to come. My sister runs up her cards every year and every year her husband uses his income tax to pay them off. They pay the bills jointly but she ALWAYS has more debt.
I see plenty of wives throw money away just because they know that there is always more to come. My sister runs up her cards every year and every year her husband uses his income tax to pay them off. They pay the bills jointly but she ALWAYS has more debt.
CandiceC
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Ah, gotcha. It's moreso the "tone" he's setting for the hypothetical marriage.
That's what I'm thinking too. While the plan isn't bad if they both agree, I mainly don't like the tone. Not from a guy. I can do a break down on DH's income all day if I want. Is that hypocritical? Lol.
momi
Well-Known Member
We agreed early on that I would be the primary caregiver for the children so we built a lifestyle based on his income alone.
Initially I was making relatively good money so we stashed it away while I was working and used it to supplement his income after I left the workplace.
When I do work outside the home it is generally for brief periods of time and that money is used for extras.
We have a very tight budget admittedly but thanks to The Lord we do just fine - private school and all.
TopShelf
Sewing & Growing Gamma Gal
It is.....but most people are going to agree with you
Priss Pot
Makeup + Bench Pressing
This is very flawed thinking on the wife's part, and I've seen women even on here suggest that they be able to throw away their money as long as the husband is paying for everything. Even if your husband is paying for majority of the expenses, it would still benefit the wife to be smart with her money. Yes, you can buy some things you like, but what happens if a major expense occurs (a family member dies, and you need to fly your whole family across the country to the funeral) or your home water heater needs to be replaced, etc? Half the money you were throwing away could have been put towards savings for those emergency type situations.
Brwnbeauti
Well-Known Member
I wonder if he will bust those household chores down the middle also?
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Priss Pot
Makeup + Bench Pressing
OT: Funny you mention this, as DH and I were having a funny debate the other day about his salary. Clearly he thought he was making about $10,000 less than what he was really making. I'm like dude, how you gonna argue with me about YOUR salary; I have your offer letter and supplemental paperwork saved on my computer....I know everything about your salary, benefits package, and initial bonuses.
MD_Lady
Well-Known Member
Thank you. People love to
about how other folks should run their relationships, but if they knew half as much as they thought they did, their advice would begin and end with the bold.
BEAUTYU2U
Well-Known Member
Dang, sounds like when my aunt didn't know her age but my uncle did. They actually argued about it.
FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
Thank you. People love to
No the advice is more so "watch out for the miserly, nickel and diming men". I don't think any woman should have to deal with that mess.
CandiceC
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Right. I'm always doing various side jobs for extra income. I wish a man would come running after me with a notebook asking me how much I'm making so he can recalculate the savings/discretionary chart.
BEAUTYU2U
Well-Known Member
Right. I'm always doing various side jobs for extra income. I wish a man would come running after me with a notebook asking me how much I'm making so he can recalculate the savings/discretionary chart.
Why did I just get a mental picture?This. Just had a recently married friend complain that she didn't realize her DH had so much debt. Now she's torn between putting everything in a community pot or having him pay off his old debts before they consolidate their money. People really need to talk about all aspects of finances before they jump the broom.
TopShelf
Sewing & Growing Gamma Gal
So a woman should not be expected to assist with the bills?
NOEChic
I may not always be right, but I'm never wrong.
Why are you talking bad about people and their marriage and the way they choose to do things in their marriage? Who are you?
I know a couple that is on 16 yrs of marriage. They do the 50/50 thing
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TopShelf
Sewing & Growing Gamma Gal
One of my sisters found out her husband had 40k in debt when they went to buy their first home. When i asked her how she didn't know, she said that she doesn't inquire about finances as long as he pays what he's supposed to pay. Needless to day the home purchase was put on halt until a later date
BEAUTYU2U
Well-Known Member
Yeah I'm not sure about this. It's preferred but hmmm, I'm not sure about the entitlement. You're still a grown woman
Marriage is not the candy store.
TopShelf
Sewing & Growing Gamma Gal
Yeah I'm not sure about this. It's preferred but hmmm, I'm not sure about the entitlement. You're still a grown woman
Lmfaooooooo.......seriously!
FemmeCreole
Island Gyal
very hypocritical
this
Thank you. People love to
and this
I see a lot of unreasonable women in this thread.
Anyways, people need to do what works for them.
As for the OP, The budget set forth seems very workable and it seems like she stands to benefit more from it anyways.
FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
Yeah I'm not sure about this. It's preferred but hmmm, I'm not sure about the entitlement. You're still a grown woman
Let me put my business out for two seconds, I'm dating a guy that makes about 3x my salary and I don't want for anything (already).. I mean I just mentioned over lunch on Sunday how I had a $255 traffic ticket that I had to pay and he gave me the money at the end of our date. He said he doesn't want me stressing about stuff and that I'm such a worry wart.
I ain't eeeeeen his girlfriend
menina
Believing the book of Revelations
There's a difference between assisting and paying half of the bills IMO. It also depends on which bills like big/small, necessity/extra, etc.
If it's 50/50 financially I might as well be single. I'm not as extreme as him contributing 100 and me 0, I will help, but it's not in the plans for me to provide that way.
LiftedUp
Well-Known Member
Thank you. People love to
The OP though was asking for personal opinion on the relationship so I believe most stuck to that point.
It goes to show that ideals regarding finances in a marriage differ and that's okay. In the important thing is that both parties are on the same page. I know that I will not be happy in the situation described.
TopShelf
Sewing & Growing Gamma Gal
Paying half of any bill is very different from paying the entire thing. But you are more than entitled to your POV.
I get the vibe that many women on the board feel like ," why get married if i have to pay bills". but wouldn't you have to pay bills if you lived alone?
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BEAUTYU2U
Well-Known Member
Let me put my business out for two seconds, I'm dating a guy that makes about 3x my salary and I don't want for anything (already).. I mean I just mentioned over lunch on Sunday how I had a $255 traffic ticket that I had to pay and he gave me the money at the end of our date. He said he doesn't want me stressing about stuff and that I'm such a worry wart.
I ain't eeeeeen his girlfriend
I need that Michelle O thumbs up gif
Yeah, stick with him a while.SincerelyJane
New Member
She's not paying half though
Honestly she's getting a pretty good deal. He makes almost twice what she does.
She'll be able to maintain a much more comfortable lifestyle than she would be able to afford on her own. I don't know, these people are weird. I can't see myself being upset if I had less play money than my husband. Especially if he's bringing more home. That's my husband, he's going to spending a lot of his money on me anyway. Does she think he's going to let her go without? Sounds like there are some trust issues here. It's just very odd.
robot.
New Member
Quoting for more responses. I've always wondered the same thing.
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