barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
She's nuts for entertaining this. no ma'am. 
Paying Bills And Marriage
- Thread starter NOEChic
- Start date
FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
This reminds me why I'm not into flashy dudes..they see their interest and happiness as a priority. No sir, not me.
NOEChic
I may not always be right, but I'm never wrong.
Bc even if they put in even amounts into the bills and savings he will still have more play money left. Example bills = 3000 she makes 3000 he makes 6000. They both put in 1500 for bills, they both save 500, she is left with 500 and he has 4000. She would be salty as all get out.
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
I'm like female version of insecure flashy attractive dudes. I want my man as plain, boring and low-maintenance as possible. I'm always the most interesting and costly thing about him. The most important thing he should need to spend money on is me.
Fortunately for me, I'm cheap, stingy and self-entitled. Except with children. If there is another adult involved, I believe my money should be the last priority. I dont care if it's buying a slurpee at 7-11. I dont want to and dont believe in splitting ish with adults. Can't get with the drama. Doesnt matter who it is. Either one person is paying for everything or we will be doing nothing.
whit923
Well-Known Member
I do not like his way of thinking at all. Does not seem family oriented to me
He should be saying our family income will be $9300, bills x, savings x the remainder will be spent on each other. What is this "his and her" mentality from a husband and possible father?
Being fair should be not into play here. They are one (or should be) now. Anyway, she needs to check his controlling trait and somewhat selfish nature before agreeing to marry him. He seems like he would not even want her to stop working if she wanted to after children because it won't be "fair".
This. All day.
FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
I'm like female version of insecure flashy attractive dudes. I want my man as plain, boring and low-maintenance as possible. I'm always the most interesting and costly thing about him. The most important thing he should need to spend money on is me.
Fortunately for me, I'm cheap, stingy and self-entitled. Except with children. If there is another adult involved, I believe my money should be the last priority. I dont care if it's buying a slurpee at 7-11. I dont want to and dont believe in splitting ish with adults. Can't get with the drama. Doesnt matter who it is. Either one person is paying for everything or we will be doing nothing.
It's true though, I know many flashy dudes and I would never date them, always buying the hottest and latest and are always talking about how they want a chick that got her own..smh.
I have a friend who is married to a man who does very well and he is very low key, doesn't care about the latest/flyest for himself but spoils the HELL out of her. And I mean SPOIL.
Southernbella.
Well-Known Member
Yeah, I guess it seems fair, as in perfectly equal and proportionate. I don't think fairness is something to strive for in a marriage, particularly on the part of the husband , but I have a feeling she will see that sooner rather than later.
I would NEVER marry a "fair" man.
Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF
, but I have a feeling she will see that sooner rather than later.I would NEVER marry a "fair" man.
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Marriage isn't about fairness. There are so many different scenarios that can come up in life, it makes no sense to go into a marriage trying to keep everything 50/50 - with regards to finances or anything else. Someone is always doing more in some area, but it should all balance out in the long run. Trying to keep a day to day tally of who did what and who owes whom is a recipe for divorce.
SincerelyJane
New Member
Well. They're not married. I understand that husbands should be willing to sacrifice for their wives, and its clear that he's not ready to do that. I can relate. But that's why I'm not trying to get married right now
I don't know, I don't get the sense that he really wants to marry her lol. I can see all that "fairness" going out the window once he meets a woman who can inspire that level of devotion in him. This chick isn't the one.
I don't know, I don't get the sense that he really wants to marry her lol. I can see all that "fairness" going out the window once he meets a woman who can inspire that level of devotion in him. This chick isn't the one.
RocStar
Well-Known Member
Mods please don't move
Scenerio (Not me I jacked this from somewhere else)
Me and my girlfriend have some disagreements in how to split bills IF we were to get married. The way I think bills should be split is in the ratio of the incomes. She takes home $3100/month and I take home $6200/month. So, if our joint expenses hypothetically would be $3500/month then this is the way I would do it. 50% of each paycheck would go to savings (this %tage would be adjusted later depending future expenses - kids etc.)
Her contribution to bills: $1150 (around 33%), to savings: $1550, remainder: $400
My contribution to bills: $2350 (67%), to savings: $3100, remainder: $750
The remainder is a discretionary expense for each person to spend on their personal interests/hobbies etc. Now, she takes offense to the fact that I get to have $750 in spending money and she gets only $400. She says it should be equal regardless of who makes more or less IF we were to be married.
What do you guys think? I have many more hobbies than she does.
These two should NOT get married. Marriage is not 50/50 and thinking so will lead straight to divorce.
FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
Well. They're not married. I understand that husbands should be willing to sacrifice for their wives, and its clear that he's not ready to do that. I can relate. But that's why I'm not trying to get married right now
I don't know, I don't get the sense that he really wants to marry her lol. I can see all that "fairness" going out the window once he meets a woman who can inspire that level of devotion in him. This chick isn't the one.
Your last paragraph is gospel! You can tell even in the very beginning/dating phase (like that dude who stole his date's cellphone for her half of the date, smh).
curlicarib
Lovin'' All of Me
If she lives at home, yeah.
Priss Pot
Makeup + Bench Pressing
I think married couples should "split" (I hate that term) bills how they see fit, as long as both parties are contributing whether it be financially or taking care of the home. I don't like the tit for tat calculations either. I think couples should take care of each other. My DH takes care of all major expenses, especially since I'm in between jobs right now. The only thing I pay for is my phone bill and our crossfit memberships. When I do obtain a regular salary again, I'd still contribute financially to our savings and any extra that may be needed.
I think money is something that is best discussed between both parties and only objective outside opinions should be sought. There are so many factors that go into this that one person's opinion on what works for THEM might not work for the couple in question, especially since everyone's expenses and cost of living areas differ.
I think money is something that is best discussed between both parties and only objective outside opinions should be sought. There are so many factors that go into this that one person's opinion on what works for THEM might not work for the couple in question, especially since everyone's expenses and cost of living areas differ.
FelaShrine
Well-Known Member
She's nuts for entertaining this. no ma'am.
Im mad that he even knows her take home pay.
My father doesnt even know my mother's and they been married 32 years.
Hell with that
FelaShrine
Well-Known Member
but why his comment on "future children blah blah"
DigitalRain
Well-Known Member
Men looking for roommates with a side of sex these days.
I feel if a man can't afford a wife, stay single.
I feel if a man can't afford a wife, stay single.
momi
Well-Known Member
Men looking for roommates with a side of sex these days.
I feel if a man can't afford a wife, stay single.
Say that.
10
yardyspice
Well-Known Member
Men looking for roommates with a side of sex these days.
I feel if a man can't afford a wife, stay single.
Girl!
If a man isn't willing to be become one with you and lay down his life for you and your children, throw him back.
Also, there is no fairness in marriage because it is a partnership where at any time one person may be working harder for the family unit. These two are starting out like roommates who statistically have a higher divorce rate. IMO that is because there is a lack of commitment to the unit.
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ScorpioBeauty09
Well-Known Member
So many posts here I agree with. A big fat NO to this. No need to say why, you ladies covered it.
No need to say why, you ladies covered it.
Priss Pot
Makeup + Bench Pressing
I thought it was pretty fair
From an objective point of view, I can see it being fair, but he seems like the type to focus on exact numbers and percentages too much. That could pose problems in the future and cause unnecessary headaches and arguments. She isn't going to be your roommate, she's going to be your wife. I don't agree with 50/50, but I also understand that 2 incomes tend to make things easier than 1 and neither party should be stingy with helping if it comes down to where it's needed (provided we're talking about average joe's/jane's who aren't rich).
FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
Welp I hope this thread doesn't burst into flames..
LadyRaider
Well-Known Member
I think contribution to bills and savings should be proportionate to how much they make. I think the spending money should be exactly the same.
CandiceC
.
I thought it was pretty fair
I would automatically be apart of that $750.
BEAUTYU2U
Well-Known Member
Renewed1
Well-Known Member
True statement. I knew a couple who did the 50/50 split the first year of their marriage. I talked about them so bad to their faces it was unreal.
Marriage is about being one, which means, irregardless of the debt/income/savings. Everything is one.
If a couple can achieve this type of thinking in finances, it will (should) translate in every area of their marriage.
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