Paying Bills And Marriage

[DarkJoy]

I can't believe this "discussion" is still ongoing after 3 days... how many ways can people state the same thing before giving up?

 

[littlegoldmittens]

I'm late to the party. Cliff notes?

But in response to the OP all I will say is...couldn't be me .
A man should provide, I'm not with this whole going Dutch for life nickel and diming nonsense. I would never marry a man who is so pressed about what I bring to the table. If he's counting on my income he needs to count me out, I can live fine by myself.

 

[HanaKuroi]

I'm late to the party. Cliff notes?

But in response to the OP all I will say is...couldn't be me .
A man should provide, I'm not with this whole going Dutch for life nickel and diming nonsense. I would never marry a man who is so pressed about what I bring to the table. If he's counting on my income he needs to count me out, I can live fine by myself.

I didn't follow this thread at all. I don't know any married couples that do this. A couple of years ago a woman mentioned something about how she didn't have money left to buy something (small i can't remember) and how she had to pay half of all bills. Her salary wasn't even half of his. He would buy all sorts of expensive stuff for himself. It was odd. All I know is they aren't married now.

You deposit your checks and pay the bills. Buy what you need. Tithe. Save what you should. Invest. Spend what you can afford. Marriage isn't a roommate with benefits lifestyle.

The wife should eat Top Ramen and the husband should be eating filet mignon? Why even get married? Such nonsense. What if you marry a rich man?

What happened to what is mine is yours ?

I don't know any married couples that do this, that is what roomies and "living together" folks do.

One thing I am sure about, this nonsense is the man's idea.

I see too many women working 2 jobs supporting a lazy, too good to work a manual labor job, "man". Talking about he's a rapper. Or he is going to "school".

 

[IslandMummy]

I'm late to the party. Cliff notes?

Dude in the OP is a miser (sorry Beauty ) and his girlfriend should not marry him because she's already unhappy with that set up and it is not going to change

We have three camps present in this thread:

Those who know he's bloody miser: General consensus "Ain't nobody got time for that!"

Those who think this is fair: He makes more, he should be able to set the budget according to what's "fair", he is not her daddy and she should not be upset at the current set up. She needs to get a better job

Those for shucks and giggles

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I don't know if she needs a better job but her only gripe is spending money, not the entire set up itself. I'm just getting immature vibes from that. On his part too.

 

[intellectualuva]

The part of my quote that is cut off states that there is nothing wrong with a woman who works and contributes her pay. Absolutely nothing. What I said was that there IS something wrong with a man who wants more for himself than for his wife and if that is an insult, I'm sorry.

I would have more respect for the man in the OP if they had the percentage agreement and they BOTH got $400 dollars a month- what is so wrong with that??

I think calliope was very clear and her statement wasn't insulting at all, even to women who are the primary breadwinners. Even if your husband makes half what you make, this doesn't imply that he puts his needs before the family's or wife. I think this is all she is saying...either way...I love this thread. It got me through a very hard weekend.

You didnt ask me but My opinion would be that you should not live a lifestyle at your max income level regardless of who is the breadwinner.

Yes and Yes!!!

Well can they come down some to a happy medium? For instance if I make 100k on my own, I probably live a particular lifestyle. If I marry a man making half that, I would not be inclined to downgrade how I live so dramatically. So with his income we'd be able to save more even if we live on a 75k budget and save, invest the other 75k

I think its possible and probably suggested a few time to, even as a single woman, to not live anywhere near the top of your income even if/when you make 100K. Things happen. I'd like to be prepared in case I ever have to take job earning significantly less.

LOL@ the recap. Thats pretty much it.

I can't speak for anyone, but I put some studying aside to read this entire thing. Its been rather calm around here. I love lively debates.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I pay half of the rent and electricity. He pays cable and half of rent. He makes more than I do and pays for all dates and little stuff around the house like light bulbs paper towels patio furniture and etc. I really don't think it's fair for a man to pay allllll the bills even though its sounds nice from the girl point of view. What's the point of being smart getting a good job that pays 75000 plus and having to take care of another besides my child. I'm all for providing but when I think about this I think of him getting my car fixed, washed every Sunday, buying things for the house before I need them, driving me around, giving our house physical security, making sure I'm not any any harm's way and etc. I can pay bills on my own.

 

[HanaKuroi]

I pay half of the rent and electricity. He pays cable and half of rent. He makes more than I do and pays for all dates and little stuff around the house like light bulbs paper towels patio furniture and etc. I really don't think it's fair for a man to pay allllll the bills even though its sounds nice from the girl point of view. What's the point of being smart getting a good job that pays 75000 plus and having to take care of another besides my child. I'm all for providing but when I think about this I think of him getting my car fixed, washed every Sunday, buying things for the house before I need them, driving me around, giving our house physical security, making sure I'm not any any harm's way and etc. I can pay bills on my own.

But I don't understand what you mean by on your own.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I pay half of the rent and electricity. He pays cable and half of rent. He makes more than I do and pays for all dates and little stuff around the house like light bulbs paper towels patio furniture and etc. I really don't think it's fair for a man to pay allllll the bills even though its sounds nice from the girl point of view. What's the point of being smart getting a good job that pays 75000 plus and having to take care of another besides my child. I'm all for providing but when I think about this I think of him getting my car fixed, washed every Sunday, buying things for the house before I need them, driving me around, giving our house physical security, making sure I'm not any any harm's way and etc. I can pay bills on my own.

It's so amazing how time changes things. I totally don't think like this any more

 

[sunnieb]

It's so amazing how time changes things. I totally don't think like this any more

GOOD!

 

[Kookookiwi]

It's so amazing how time changes things. I totally don't think like this any more

I read your first post before checking the date and was like ?!!?. This don't sound like PrissiSippi. Good for you.

 

[giigii613]

I think what he is describing is fair if she agreed to paying the bills this way. If her only problem is that she has less play money than he does, not really seeing how this is any different than the way things are now. He earns more so he has more.

Once they get married, as her husband and as the higher earner he will probably pay for most recreational things they do anyway. That entire $300 could be in her pocket every month.

Keep in mind, I am basing this on the fact that going by what he is describing she is fine with everything else except the leftover money after all other expenses are paid.

^^I'm all for him paying more if she can manage to get it but this is what I was thinking when the play money was mentioned.


Update: I didn't know how old this post was please ignore my comment and quote.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I read your first post before checking the date and was like ?!!?. This don't sound like PrissiSippi. Good for you.

I bumped this up because I saw a thread on Facebook and the men were arguing if they have to pay a woman's whole mortgage/rent they wouldn't be in a relationship. They said they shouldn't be required to pay the whole bill by themselves. It would be different if they offered but they shouldn't HAVE to do it because what does she work for? And I mean this was a doctor, physical therapist, and two teachers (men) talking.

I was looking like whaaaaa?! If you want me to play wifey I will! Manage your appointments, cook your bills, run your house, take care of the kids, and maybe even work too...but you're gonna come on with it as well. Pay these bills bruh! It's a lot of sacrifice the woman gives in being a wife.

 

[sunnieb]

Exactly @PrissiSippi! That's why a good husband wants to spoil his wife.

She's happy and spreads that happiness throughout the household. Grown men understand this concept.

ETA: just like most advice on men won't work with jerks, the spoiled wife, happy life advice doesn't work with selfish, narcissistic women. IJS.