Paying Bills And Marriage
- Thread starter NOEChic
- Start date
Ipanema
Well-Known Member
Interesting thread. It probably would have gone better on a different type of board where there are less unicorns. Personally, I think a woman should have her own money in an account that only she has access to whether the husband pays all of the expenses or not. That is all I have to say.
Priss Pot
Makeup + Bench Pressing
I don't think a middle class living is unicorn. However, I think the unicorn comments stem from the attitudes that certain posters (in general) give off, as if their stuff (cause we can't say the fake s-word) don't stank.
I honestly don't have a problem with most ladies' opinions on either side, but it's the snark in a lot of comments that throws people off. You can talk about your living arrangement without putting the next one down. That goes for anything in life, really.
Southernbella.
Well-Known Member
I miss Zaynab.
I love her but I got a kick out of people on the other side of the debate saying they wished she were here.
We all know what she would say and how she would say it. Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF
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NOEChic
I may not always be right, but I'm never wrong.
So he gotta pay for everything and then put what's leftover in savings while she lives the high life with all her money?
I miss Zaynab.
Where did she go? Just got tired and taking a break or not coming back?
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
I love her but I got a kick out of people on the other side of the debate saying they wished she were here.
Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF
That surprised me too.
She would be no kind of understanding about this arrangement. not at all. I posted her reaction to the thread, if she were here it's pretty clear how she'd react.
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Southernbella.
Well-Known Member
I see her on Facebook... she seems pretty busy. I don't know if she's coming back.
Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF
Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF
natura87
Well-Known Member
SincerelyJane
New Member
I feel like people are trying to draw distinctions where there are none. At the end of the day, there's no difference btwn contributing to bills vs contributing to savings. How are people going to say it's just "us" and "our money" but then turn around and say "my money" doesn't go towards bills. I think couples do that to maintain the appearance of traditional gender roles, while other people can just call a spade a spade.
And if you're working and not contributing any of the money you make, whether its savings or otherwise, to your household income I find it odd that you're intentionally withholding your money from the benefit of your family, and I question your priorities.
And if you're working and not contributing any of the money you make, whether its savings or otherwise, to your household income I find it odd that you're intentionally withholding your money from the benefit of your family, and I question your priorities.
From which of my comments did you get the impression this is what I would be advocating?
Honey Bee
Well-Known Member
Shade all up and through this post. Is this what we were referring to?SincerelyJane
New Member
Lol but am I wrong though? I'm just being honest. I don't know that these ladies understand what they're implying. Why sequester your income away from the benefit of your family? That is questionable behavior and if your husband is just gonna sit and let it ride then he's probably not very bright.
And yes, that was shade
What is the shade? I missed it.
Brwnbeauti
Well-Known Member
Mods please don't move
Scenerio (Not me I jacked this from somewhere else)
Me and my girlfriend have some disagreements in how to split bills IF we were to get married. The way I think bills should be split is in the ratio of the incomes. She takes home $3100/month and I take home $6200/month. So, if our joint expenses hypothetically would be $3500/month then this is the way I would do it. 50% of each paycheck would go to savings (this %tage would be adjusted later depending future expenses - kids etc.)
Her contribution to bills: $1150 (around 33%), to savings: $1550, remainder: $400
My contribution to bills: $2350 (67%), to savings: $3100, remainder: $750
The remainder is a discretionary expense for each person to spend on their personal interests/hobbies etc. Now, she takes offense to the fact that I get to have $750 in spending money and she gets only $400. She says it should be equal regardless of who makes more or less IF we were to be married.
What do you guys think? I have many more hobbies than she does.
Yes he is paying a larger percent of the household bills- BUT isn't she contributing a larger percentage of her check to the household accounts?
Math people figure that out.
I teach English.
SincerelyJane
New Member
That's probably a good thing.
Brwnbeauti
Well-Known Member
I see what you're saying and I don't disagree. I believe in one pot so who pays what is not extremely relevant to me personally.
I just don't like this guy's attitude. He's too concerned about her paying "her share". I just don't see marriage that way and I couldn't deal with that. It may be semantics but...don't ever come to me with a breakdown of what I'm supposed to be paying for.
Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF
I feel like keeping a roof over a woman's head is a man's responsibility. Women do it all by themselves all the time but I'm sure he's asking her to move in, and later to marry him. And anyway, a man gotta pay bills just like a woman, I feel like dude in the op tryna come up, actually based on the numbers he comes up more than the chick- especially if they're talking separate savings, especially if she moves in with him and they are splitting his usual bills.
I just can't do % because shoots 10% of the bills could be 40% of a paycheck, just depends on where a woman works, where the man works, and advancement opportunities, which statistically favor men. Plus you shouldn't start anything you can't keep up.
Brwnbeauti
Well-Known Member
What u tryna say!!!
I'm good at counting my money- and dh's, not hypothetical posts.
Brwnbeauti
Well-Known Member
Yes!!!!!!!!
SincerelyJane
New Member
I mean you already see some of that, as any household with a household income >$250K pays the same in taxes. 250K is way different than $1 million. For me it would depend on what the flat percentage was. Everyone has to pay taxes, whether you like it or not. So if the flat tax rate is not significantly different from the tax rate that lower income are already paying then what would be the difference?
Your scenario also doesn't take wealth distribution into account. In the US the 1% are terrible with sharing their wealth with the rest of the 99%. That's not the case in the OP. He's sharing his income and also improving her standard of living.
Brwnbeauti
Well-Known Member
How is he coming up wheb she makes half of what he does?
If they're splitting what he has been paying he's coming up.
Edit: when women move with men, men's expenses usually drop- they eat out less because women cook, they go out less in general because there is a woman home- and it's no longer acceptable. Adding one person doesn't make your household bills much higher.
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SophieDulce
Well-Known Member
Lol I'm starting to think you're really a man!!!!!
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Honey Bee
Well-Known Member
Honey Bee
Well-Known Member
SincerelyJane, Some men are proud to be able to provide for their women and do so happily.Lol but am I wrong though? I'm just being honest. I don't know that these ladies understand what they're implying. Why sequester your income away from the benefit of your family? That is questionable behavior and if your husband is just gonna sit and let it ride then he's probably not very bright.
And yes, that was shade
That was only light shade, slightly cloudy, you might say.
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