***Online Dating Support Thread***

Daeuiel said:
:look: This is a personal preference, but I don't know if I'm comfortable dating a guy that can't afford to call me, or is so frugal he would rather email me than do so. (if he's grown/not in school/has a job etc). Repeatedly. That kind of behavior is still out of the realm of 'innocent' to me, because it reeks of an issue any woman who hopes to have a relationship with him would have to eventually deal with. Being frugal is one thing, but cheapness on that level would drive me insane. :nono: But of course, to each their own. :ohwell:
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All I can respond with is:

:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:
 
Daeuiel said:
Okay that is weird. Never had a guy do THAT before. I mean, I am trying to think of an innocent reason why a man might prefer to email a woman he has been on dates with already, and I can't. :perplexed
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Yeah me either usually once you exchange numbers that becomes the primary mode of communication. I'm hoping for "innocent" but prepared for "trifling."

CurlyMoo said:
It's cheaper.
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That reason might fly back in the day but this is the age of free night and weekend minutes. Oh and he has the new IPhone (that's operational he has used it in my presence). Even Metro PCS has free NW minutes!

Daeuiel said:
:look: This is a personal preference, but I don't know if I'm comfortable dating a guy that can't afford to call me, or is so frugal he would rather email me than do so. (if he's grown/not in school/has a job etc). Repeatedly. That kind of behavior is still out of the realm of 'innocent' to me, because it reeks of an issue any woman who hopes to have a relationship with him would have to eventually deal with. Being frugal is one thing, but cheapness on that level would drive me insane. :nono: But of course, to each their own. :ohwell:
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This guy is definitely not in school anymore. He has a stable career and seems to be doing pretty well for himself. I dunno maybe he's just not a "phone" person. It's just kind of odd trying to set up a date via email. The flag isn't red yet (light pink for now) but he's getting major side eye action for that.
 
I took off my pics from OKC and POF. Online Dating is freaking me out a bit with all the creepers that look at my page and some of them continuously, but won't send a message. And when they do send a message, it contains horrible grammar and punctuation or a creepy message. Now since I don't get approached so I'm focusing on attending social events. I just came from a social event last night, and I can't even begin to explain how much more fun it is interacting with people in real life and meeting people with common interests.
 
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^^^I just did the same w/my match. I saw some of the people who had me on their favorites, but never sent me a message and I got weirded out. My profiles hidden now indefinitely...
 
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OK guys so i signed up for 3 months on Match.com. First I want to say it took a lot for me to do it. I"m really shy but some of my friends have had success with it.

It's been about 2 weeks and I've received about 40 emails and about 35 winks. Ok so out of all of those men, there are NONE that I'm physically attracted to. :perplexed:ohwell: Most are in their 40's and look so much older. I'm in my late 30's so 40's for my mate is fine but lawd they just look OLD. I'm just not attracted to any of them?!?!? Anyone else have this problem?
 
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dodie said:
OK guys so i signed up for 3 months on Match.com. First I want to say it took a lot for me to do it. I"m really shy but some of my friends have had success with it.

It's been about 2 weeks and I've received about 40 emails and about 35 winks. Ok so out of all of those men, there are NONE that I'm physically attracted to. :perplexed:ohwell: Most are in their 40's and look so much older. I'm in my late 30's so 40's for my mate is fine but lawd they just look OLD. I'm just not attracted to any of them?!?!? Anyone else have this problem?
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I had this problem too. I think it just comes with the territory. Many of the men on these online dating sites are not attractive.
 
Lushcoils I understand where you're coming from but online dating can be a positive experience. Have you thought about attending events hosted by the websites that you're on?

You meet weird guys every where. The only pro with online dating is that you have very little chance of bumping into weirdies IRL.
 
sunhun said:
Lushcoils I understand where you're coming from but online dating can be a positive experience. Have you thought about attending events hosted by the websites that you're on?

You meet weird guys every where. The only pro with online dating is that you have very little chance of bumping into weirdies IRL.
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I don't think it's for me. I've been doing it for 3 years, and guys would just look at my page continuously and not send me messages even when I sent them one. I'm just getting freaked out thinking of what they are doing with my pictures since they are not messaging me. But if guys message you, good luck!
 
I decided to take my profiles down. I kept getting contacted by weird people (one looked like an adult version of Chucky), men out of my age range, and guys that were just lame.

I am going to go the conventional route and see how it works. I went on my 1st blind date EVER and it was actually cool.
 
ArrrBeee said:
I decided to take my profiles down. I kept getting contacted by weird people (one looked like an adult version of Chucky), men out of my age range, and guys that were just lame.

I am going to go the conventional route and see how it works. I went on my 1st blind date EVER and it was actually cool.
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That cracked me up! :lachen: I had this one guy who looked exactly like Peter Griffin from Family Guy...glasses with beady eyes and all!

I finally joined Eharmpny..I'm actually quite pleased with a some of my matches and started communicating with a few. We'll see what happens when I start meeting folks in the flesh though. That always changed things.
 
ArrrBeee said:
I decided to take my profiles down. I kept getting contacted by weird people (one looked like an adult version of Chucky), men out of my age range, and guys that were just lame.

I am going to go the conventional route and see how it works. I went on my 1st blind date EVER and it was actually cool.
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Me too. I just swore off online dating and all my friends jaws literally dropped when I told them since I've been doing it for 5yrs

My plan is to utilize the That Girl technique anyways and go out with a wingwoman, see & be seen, be approachable & see how many guys I meet that way

I remember one summer I hit the Entrepeneur section of barnes & noble ever sat afternoon and I was like a kid in a candy store with all the fine men I saw. I didn't have the nerve to approach any of them tho

I'm not knocking online dating tho, I'm just saying after 5yrs off & on i'm quitting this game
 
Okay, so I briefly exchanged communications with this guy months ago (it was a free weekend on eharm), I became a paid member a week ago.

So when I recently subscribed and was able to see the pics, I saw his profile and was like, mmmm..he's pretty cute/successful/seems smart/blahblah. So I write a quick mail to see if he's still a member, and if so, if he wants to continue the communication.

He wrote back and said he's about to go on vacation abroad, but will be back on xyz date, and gave me his phone number and said I can give him a call if I'd like. We've never had any type of convo outside of the little guided stuff and that was awhile (in august)back. I told him I'd give him a ring later (though I feel very odd about calling and prob wont) and gave him my email. Is this strange? I have a tendency to overanalyze.
 
ArrrBeee said:
I decided to take my profiles down. I kept getting contacted by weird people (one looked like an adult version of Chucky), men out of my age range, and guys that were just lame.

I am going to go the conventional route and see how it works. I went on my 1st blind date EVER and it was actually cool.
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LOL. same thing happened to me. Just weird guys and I wasn't physically attracted to anyone. A lot of them were just too casual for my liking.
 
Duchesse said:
That cracked me up! :lachen: I had this one guy who looked exactly like Peter Griffin from Family Guy...glasses with beady eyes and all!

.
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lmao!

I got a dude who hit me up talking about he was in his twenties but no lie he looked to be about 90. He was asking me if black women like white men (NOT the first time Ive gotten messages asking me that as if Im the spokesperson for what black women like) and wondering why he wasnt getting many responses back. I really wanted to tell him to do better for his picture.

My cousin is on Zoosk and told me about this guy's profile that had many spelling errors. He wrote that a date with him would consist of shampain, rose pedals and finally....... dissert. According to him he is smart and in school.....smh
 
i just recently created a profile on OkCupid and i've gotten a few messages but i'm not sure how to proceed.

if you don't find them attractive or you're turn off by their profile should you just a) ignore them b) tell them you aren't interested or c)be polite and entertain them. C is clearly a waste of time but i don't want to be a *****.
 
I ignore messages by guys I don't find attractive (or if their profile indicates we would be a bad match). I started out trying to answer each one thanking them for the message/greeting and politely declining and boy did I get some ugly responses! I was like forget that..I don't need to waste anymore time explaining to these dudes I'm not interested! Now I just ignore.
 
ArrrBeee said:
I decided to take my profiles down. I kept getting contacted by weird people (one looked like an adult version of Chucky), men out of my age range, and guys that were just lame.

I am going to go the conventional route and see how it works. I went on my 1st blind date EVER and it was actually cool.
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I took a couple of weeks to think about this online dating deal. I think that I just got freaked out by the weirdos and people who seem like they wanted to just sleep with me.

Don't know if this always works, but what I did was cancelled my 1 month membership on eharmony. Logged off for 2 weeks and then went back. They sent me an email with a GREATLY reduced fee for 6 months. I will at least give it the full 7 months and then make a decision. Who knows, maybe I'll find Mr. Right.
 
for the PP that said she got freaked out when she saw guys continually looking at her profile but never saying anything. i thought of you the other day. while i was on pof i realized i do the exact same thing while browsing. sometimes its bc i'm not sure if i had clicked on that profile yet, sometimes it cause i couldnt remember why i didnt msg them or why i wasn't interested, and other times it's mindless...i'm just randomly clicking profiles w.o thinking about what i'm doing... so don't take it personal or take it as him being a creeper.
cause i realized i must've clicked on the same profile half a dozen to a dozen times for all the yrs i've been on pof. and im not stealin anyone's pic. lol

eta: also if you change your profile pic the person might think you're a diff person and didnt realize they already saw your profile
 
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It's been an interesting weekend so far. Got a message from a nice gentleman and we have been corresponding back and forth over the past week via messages. We finally exchanged numbers and have talked a total of 6 hours via phone this entire weekend. Found we have lots of stuff in common and the conversations have just been flowing. He is about 7 years older and appears to have his head on straight and knows exactly what he wants. He admitted to me up front he is not interested in just casually dating a whole bunch of women. He is actively dating with a goal of a having a long term relationship that leads to marriage. We have plans to go out next weekend. Getting kinda excited about our date but not having any expectations. Just want to have fun and continue to get to know him.
 
OK guys so I am new to online dating and it took a LOT of nerve to get on match.com. NOw that I'm on it, I'm not sure what the process is. DO you email first, then phone calls THEN meet up w/ the person. I had someone that wanted to meet RIGHT away, and I just wasn't too comfortable with that. I mean, we never even talked ont the phone, just a couple of emails. I thought it was kind of strange or am I being too paranoid?
 
^^^ no. im always uncomfortable w. guys who wanna meet too quickly. esp when they get upset if you tell them you wanna get to kno them first
 
Yeah, he did get an attitude when I told him I was new to this and needed some time to get to know him. I didn't like that.
 
Whats up with these fuzzy/blurry *** pics on some of the profiles Ive been seeing. Im on POF and this guy sends me a message and the pics are terrible...Im like dang, do I have to ask you to send me new/better pics?:nono: Ugghh..
 
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