Daeuiel
Cosplay Champ
Why did I find this message in my inbox this morning?
erplexed
His profile is blank. Hot mess...
LOL you found it so you could have a good laugh and share with others! Thank you!
***Online Dating Support Thread***
- Thread starter JollyGal
- Start date
LOL you found it so you could have a good laugh and share with others! Thank you!
JollyGal
Well-Known Member
Why did I find this message in my inbox this morning?
His profile is blank. Hot mess...
I think you should go for it girl. The amount of effort he put into this message is mind blowing.
SMH
Next!!!!! He can go and try that with another girl. Lets see who falls for grammatical errors and no picture. I can understand why women do not want to have pictures on websites but if he sent that to you from an online dating website why did he join?
You're too smart to fall for that.
JollyGal
Well-Known Member
You're good. Caution is essential when it comes to online dating. If a man cannot deal with you being careful then he is not worth your time is he?
The fact that he was interested in you after 7 months of no show on the webcam AND he still met you means that he likes you... a lot.
Airport? Uh-oh you have inspired me
Kacie
Well-Known Member
I need advice ladies. I'm at the halfway point of my 3 month match sub.
*When a guy gives you their number after a series of emails....do you call them?*
I'm assuming they may do this to give the lady privacy. It's kinda a silly question as I think about it...I don't want them with my number initially....it's just weird that I make first contact. How do you ladies handle this?
*When a guy gives you their number after a series of emails....do you call them?*
I'm assuming they may do this to give the lady privacy. It's kinda a silly question as I think about it...I don't want them with my number initially....it's just weird that I make first contact. How do you ladies handle this?
Daeuiel
Cosplay Champ
It depends on how I feel about the guy so far. If I like him and would consider dating him, I'll call him but I'll use *67, then dial 1 area code and the guy's number. That way if he turns out to be a psycho, he won't be able to harass me over the phone.
If the guy is angry when you call and displays any negative emotions because you didn't give him your number, either deliberately or accidentally by calling, well there's a red flag...
BLESSED1
New Member
i've been doing online dating off and on for the last 5yrs. i've met more good guys then bad thankfully, and i too see it as online meeting instead of online dating.
i recently went back on match, i blogged about my experiences so far but def will be checking into this thread.
a friend of mine went to alot of weddings this past summer and said 90% of them were for couples that met online, so I figure there's some hope for me
i recently went back on match, i blogged about my experiences so far but def will be checking into this thread.
a friend of mine went to alot of weddings this past summer and said 90% of them were for couples that met online, so I figure there's some hope for me
hrtbndr21
New Member
Google Voice is an option if you're not comfortable with giving out your number just yet but want him to be able to contact you. You can pick a new number to use with your phone. Calls and texts are forwarded directly to your handset. When you call them through Google your Google Voice number will show up on the caller ID. It's a pain but it beats having to change your number when some weirdo won't stop calling and texting at 2 and 3 a.m. meh. Whether or not you disclose that you are using Google Voice is up to you.
CurlyMoo
Well-Known Member
You're good. Caution is essential when it comes to online dating. If a man cannot deal with you being careful then he is not worth your time is he?
The fact that he was interested in you after 7 months of no show on the webcam AND he still met you means that he likes you... a lot.
Airport? Uh-oh you have inspired me
Yessss. He is/was very patient, it was worth the wait. Truthfuly, we first met and started chatting in a chatroom of a dating website in November. We exchanged emails maybe a few months after that and he sent me his personal website. However, we didn't really start private instant messaging until March. Then things took off.
Meeting at the airport like that was amazing, nerve racking and almost fairytale like. I was so nervous, I put on my big hat and he was like I can't see your face. LOL In fact the entire time was something out of a movie, highly romantic. We are planning our next vacation together.......
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CurlyMoo
Well-Known Member
Well, do what's comfortable for you. I gave him my number just a week before we were to meet in person and he called me private. LOL I was like all this time we talk and you call me private?
I really just wanted to hear his voice in my ear, to give me a better read on him and to give me reasurance about the trip. For the most part it was not needed because we skyped each other. Which is a free service from skype to skype. We both have webcams with microphones so we were able to not only see each other but talk to each other. If either of you don't have privacy at home you can get a headset with microphone so that no one can hear your conversation. Skype is a free download. Good luck!
Here is the website: www.skype.com
starfish
Well-Known Member
I like online dating/meeting. I recently had to kick a man, an old man y'all, to the curb. Email correspondence was going great. I gave him my number. Then the first and last red flags happened. First red flag: Referred to himself in the third person by another name in one of his emails. When I asked him about it he said he sometimes plays with a children's group. I looked up the group. Bunch of adults dressed up like Candy Kids or Yo Gabba Gabba performing for children. He kept talking in third person, using that stage name. Weird and then I wished I hadn't given him my number. It made me get that uneasy feeling in my guts. He called when I wasn't available, and called, and called, and texted, and called and said 'he's worried about me' after 6 hours of me not responding.
Bye!
One great match emailed me, I emailed back, he emailed me very excited about me and the match and when i got back to him a day and a half later he had closed the match. ???? I was disappointed because we had alot in common, but oh well. Next!
I've met more fantastic guys online than not though. I'm dating two guys that I met online who are great. One is local, one is in SoCal and travels up here for work or just to see me. With both of these dudes they are geeky and chivalrous and great communicators and they make me laugh. One is black and the other is white. I'm such a tech heaux that I need to date the white dude long enough to visit him in SoCal so I can watch Lord of the Rings in Blu-Ray when it comes out on his 52" plasma screen tv. Don't judge me.
ETA: I used a service called PrivacyStar on my cell phone to block calls. Privacystar.com or you can download it if you have an Android phone or blackberry)
Bye!
One great match emailed me, I emailed back, he emailed me very excited about me and the match and when i got back to him a day and a half later he had closed the match. ???? I was disappointed because we had alot in common, but oh well. Next!
I've met more fantastic guys online than not though. I'm dating two guys that I met online who are great. One is local, one is in SoCal and travels up here for work or just to see me. With both of these dudes they are geeky and chivalrous and great communicators and they make me laugh. One is black and the other is white. I'm such a tech heaux that I need to date the white dude long enough to visit him in SoCal so I can watch Lord of the Rings in Blu-Ray when it comes out on his 52" plasma screen tv. Don't judge me.
ETA: I used a service called PrivacyStar on my cell phone to block calls. Privacystar.com or you can download it if you have an Android phone or blackberry)
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runwaydream
Well-Known Member
starfish
Well-Known Member
eHarmony and Match.
LovelyNaps26
Well-Known Member
I am in the very early stages of communicating with someone I met through an online dating service. In the case of long distance it seem that a month seems about right for the amount of time you might want to wait before meeting. If you communicate with someone for a month and have little desire to meet them then you might want to re-evaluate the potential of the relationship. I imagine that in situation where distance isn't a factor at most two weeks or consistent calls/emails should be enough before you sense if the person is a prospect/ not insane.
I'd also recommend doing some background check work. I do this early on. It could be as simple as searching for the person in Google or Facebook. Knowing that the person's name shows up somewhere and that you may actually be able to verify his photo is helpful. You can also pay for online background check services for things like criminal record and address. General information about address may show up which is helpful b/c you can validate that the person actually lives where he says he does.
It may seem OCD but there are some crazies and in order for you to move ahead in the relationship you need to at least trust that basic aspects of the person are true.
UPDATE: I met the guy Labor Day weekend. It went VERY well
. We are now officially dating and he has plans to move here before the year is over in order to start a graduate degree in January. I've met his best friend and his friend's wife who lives up north so at least there is someone to vouch for his character. So far this situation surpasses any expectation I had of online dating... or any guy to be honest. Of course, the true mark of success is if he puts a ring on it. But I do think the internet (when used wisely) is a good space to connect with people. Once the relationship takes off then I feel like it's just like any other relationship. Still, I won't be totally fine telling acquaintances (family and friends already know) that we met online until i can introduce him as my fiance. Happy dating ladies!
LovelyNaps26
Well-Known Member
^^^ i guess it depends on the site. on e harmony, i said what i was passionate in (youth, mentoring). i said that the most important quality was that the man love God.
in eharmony there are qualities that you select from a list provided that also completes the other part of the profile. also you have to mention the most important person in your life and the 5 things you can't live without. it's a little but you can weed people out pretty quickly with just that.
in eharmony there are qualities that you select from a list provided that also completes the other part of the profile. also you have to mention the most important person in your life and the 5 things you can't live without. it's a little but you can weed people out pretty quickly with just that.
Daeuiel
Cosplay Champ
Here's mine, it used to have a different header, 'you just hit the jackpot' (that's a quote from Amazing Spiderman xD) and other than the relationship stuff & wanting to be friends only that I added when I met my SO, that's exactly what it said while I was looking. Nothing more, nothing less. I let my pic speak for itself, any guy who wanted to know more than I wrote could message me
Daeuiel
Cosplay Champ
I have never made a profile that was longer than 3 sentences, if that. I post one picture, and I email none. As long as that one pic shows that you are cute and in shape. Does not need to be provocative. If you really like a guy, and he has sent multiple pics of himself, then you might feel comfortable enough to send another one of yourself, but don't go sending pics without getting his first. You don't need to worry about snagging a guy, they need to be worried about getting your attention, because you're a lovely young woman who will get plenty of messages to sort through, as long as you have a photo up, and a short intro about what you like to do for fun.
JollyGal
Well-Known Member
Hi Kacie,
IMHO
I would get a separate phone number and send him that one in reply to his number. I believe the man should make the contact... not you.
JollyGal
Well-Known Member
I have never made a profile that was longer than 3 sentences, if that. I post one picture, and I email none. As long as that one pic shows that you are cute and in shape. Does not need to be provocative. If you really like a guy, and he has sent multiple pics of himself, then you might feel comfortable enough to send another one of yourself, but don't go sending pics without getting his first. You don't need to worry about snagging a guy, they need to be worried about getting your attention, because you're a lovely young woman who will get plenty of messages to sort through, as long as you have a photo up, and a short intro about what you like to do for fun.
Thank you so much.
You're right. 3 sentences is enough. If they want to know more they can send me a MESSAGE... I know better than to respond to winks or likes.
About photos...I agree with you. A guy sent me his photo after a series of emails... I sent one back. He then requested another because "i'm so ridiculously pretty" *roll eyes* and I sent a different pic like a silly moo and he never got back to me. I was devastated for a week but got over it.
Currently talking to two men online using a private social networking website. Both guys contacted me first. One is moving to London for his new job and the other has lived here for most of his life. Both are the usual type of men that I am attracted to. They seem like ok guys but I'm not going to get too attached. But I sure am giddy
they are hot. haha.
JollyGal
Well-Known Member
Here's mine, it used to have a different header, 'you just hit the jackpot' (that's a quote from Amazing Spiderman xD) and other than the relationship stuff & wanting to be friends only that I added when I met my SO, that's exactly what it said while I was looking. Nothing more, nothing less. I let my pic speak for itself, any guy who wanted to know more than I wrote could message me
This is a lovely profile. I like what you said in your profile. It's challenging and intriguing to anyone who is interested in you.
I like your way of thinking
Daeuiel
Cosplay Champ
Thank you! Yep, I got a lot of messages from that site. All you need from your profile is to let the guys who find you attractive know you are available. Then when you get the messages, you can weed out the ones who can't spell, the ones who are obviously just looking to herp someone up, and whatever other sleazy herbs are out there. I found 3 out of many who were good enough to date LOL
runwaydream
Well-Known Member
I have never made a profile that was longer than 3 sentences, if that. I post one picture, and I email none. As long as that one pic shows that you are cute and in shape. Does not need to be provocative. If you really like a guy, and he has sent multiple pics of himself, then you might feel comfortable enough to send another one of yourself, but don't go sending pics without getting his first. You don't need to worry about snagging a guy, they need to be worried about getting your attention, because you're a lovely young woman who will get plenty of messages to sort through, as long as you have a photo up, and a short intro about what you like to do for fun.
maybe im missing something. if you dont write anything about urself then why would prospective suitors contact you? just bc of your looks? that means thats all he cares about then. maybe theres a point that im not getting. but i dont see why you dont write much about yourself.
Daeuiel
Cosplay Champ
LOL, I totally understand what you mean. But I'm thinking like a guy, and this is what my SO and other guys I know said. If you have a 3 paragraph profile, most guys are not going to read all that, even the 'nice ones' who 'want to get to know you'. I am being serious with you. All you need is a little something about what you like, and let some of your personality shine through your words and how you say them.
It's not based purely on looks, but if a guy doesn't like my looks, or if I don't like his, then we're not going to be able to date. It's better to be up front about that initial attraction, whether it exists or not. Then we can talk about who we are as people, and whether we have common interests and would get along well as a couple.
In my opinion, it's better to do it this way, than to spend who knows how many messages really liking someone and getting along well, then he sends a photo and you'd rather be alone than have to look at that face. Or even worse, you get along well and then you send him yours, and he stops talking to you. This happened to my friend so many times.
I told her to just shorten her profile (it was EPIC) and put up a picture, (she had none) that way you only get guys who already are attracted to you, and want to know more, instead of the ones that read your long *** profile and walk on by. Just the way I do it, there's no one true way but it works for me
JollyGal
Well-Known Member
^
You're right. My friends have told me that men are visual and want to browse the profile pick up a few key words and look at your picture. Putting a lot of information on your profile takes the fun out of asking questions.
I just got my copy of the rules for online dating and it says everything that Daeuiel mentioned. The profile should be short and sweet. You only need one recent profile picture and it should not be a professional one.
I think the general idea is to be mysterious so that the men who really want to know you will make the contact and get the ball rolling
You're right. My friends have told me that men are visual and want to browse the profile pick up a few key words and look at your picture. Putting a lot of information on your profile takes the fun out of asking questions.
I just got my copy of the rules for online dating and it says everything that Daeuiel mentioned. The profile should be short and sweet. You only need one recent profile picture and it should not be a professional one.
I think the general idea is to be mysterious so that the men who really want to know you will make the contact and get the ball rolling
Daeuiel
Cosplay Champ
The funny thing is, a lot of guys will see a long profile and think the girl talks too much, when in reality the shy girls feel like they have to put a lot so they do and give the complete wrong impression.
And yeah, the less you put, the more you have to say later.
I've never read that book, I hope it's helpful. It's weird how some say it's mysterious to have a short profile. I thought it was to the point, at least in my case. I like things that are 'non-traditional' for women to like (science fiction & comic books), and it's a big part of who I am. I love to read and I couldn't be with a man who didn't. I'm very flexible on the other things, but...once a gorgeous man who I was good friends with, was chatting with me. I asked him what the last good book he read was. He said he didn't read books. Sometimes magazines. Yeah...we never went out, I just can't.
runwaydream
Well-Known Member
Daeuiel
Cosplay Champ
Match is one that you have to pay to use, right? If you use Match or another paid dating service, why? What do you like about, what are the positives and negatives? This question is for everyone, what is the good thing about paying for an online dating service?
Duchesse
Well-Known Member
I made match and eharmony profiles...but haven't paid for them yet! Match, so far I have several unread emails/winks, and I'm curious to see what they say. Eharmony, there's a few guys who messaged me who seem interesting, but I can't see their pics yet so....
I'll be paying both this weekend, I'm so curious to see what will happen. I'll def post some updates when I do.
I'll be paying both this weekend, I'm so curious to see what will happen. I'll def post some updates when I do.
