Non-Virgins who stayed celibate until marriage

menina said:
well dang yall i bumped this thread for encouragement and come back to these horror stories.:spinning: i'm sorry about your past experiences and hope that you get partners who want to make you happy in all areas of the relationship. :bighug:

i do believe there are ways to avoid that and get an idea of how your partner will treat you by how he treats you outside of the bedroom. since the actual the literal act isn't rocket science, most times it's the chemistry (emotional/physical) that's off.
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I completely agree.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
Hang in there. It's doable. I did it. Don't put yourself in compromising situations. The *right* guy for you won't have a problem with it.
 
Enyo said:
Actually, my ex was overally nice to me before we got married. Afterwards, he'd complain about little things like picking me up from work which was only 10 minutes to our house. He tried to get me to ride the bus late at night. :ohwell:

As for his limp noddle, that was caused by medications he took. It had nothing to do with chemistry.
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ouch so he became selfish all the time :angeldevi i hate that.

i also understand some people can flip the switch on us which is out of our control and not what we deserve. i guess all we can do is try to see them in as many situations as possible, and hope they 'show themselves' sooner than later.
 
I'm hanging in there. I've only been celibate since february and so far it's going well. But I don't have any real prospects in my life right now so I'm sure that when I do, that's when the real test will come...
 
A good friend did this with her now husband. They met in college (forgot which year) and she decided to be celibate until marriage. They were long distance for a while due to grad school. They married a while ago, I think 10 years now and 3 kids later.
 
Today make 14 months post coloring. I'm very happy and each day seems to actually get easier.
 
About to give *this* up...

Been celibate for almost 2 years, dateless for 6 and haven't experienced non-familiar/non-platonic touch for 2 years as well...

I need affection...
 
I'm still here, just made the 10 month mark. That's big for me...a year will here before you know it.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
AnjelLuvsUBabe said:
@tinkat, I love your ending line thats apart of every post, I assume you post from a phone.. Lol
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Lol. Yeah I post from my phone for the most part. I love that quote too, its from a book I read.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
I was celibate back in the day for religious reasons and then at other times just because I wanted a break (those moments were shorter.) I will say that when I didn't think about being celibate, it was easy. I occupied myself with other things and built some really good friendships with men in the meantime.

I'm not doing it again, but, IMO, it's easier when you don't let it be something that's torturing you and you remember the reasons why you're doing it. And, if you are dedicated to celibacy, remember that it will be HARD. Expect it to be.
 
Hey lilanie

I'm 26 years old and since I was 19 I've abstained from sex for 6 yrs, with a year of sex (2010) after taking on a "I'm giving up on this" attitude. So I understand, trust me. Let me just remind you that giving up won't give you the affection that you truly desire. I'm sure you don't want affection for a moment but a lifetime and giving up now likely won't fill what you deem is a void. Ask God to fill your needs and trust that He will.

Ladies, one other thing that has helped me is when I realized that celibacy is a form of fasting. I am surrendering something that I *love* for a season (while I am unmarried) to draw closer to God and to allow Him to strengthen my spirit and our relationship. When I took my eyes off of the calendar, my desires or possible opinions of others and placed my eyes on God, it completely transformed how I viewed this season of my life.
 
It's refreshing to read this thread and the testimonies of those currently waited or have waited!

This is my life and I know how hard it can be while dating. I am a single Christian and love God and my desire had grown to not kissing or having sex until I am married. God desires for us to live a pure and righteous life before Him... so I'm confident that He will also provide a mate that will walk that walk with us.

There's no need to compromise...(been there, done that and wasn't worth it AT ALL)
... I have never been with a man other than kissing and heavy petting before completely deciding to raise my standards.

Not putting yourself in compromising situations definitely helps and being honest with the individual about your decision. If they are not willing to wait then it's only confirmation that they are NOT the one...#goodbye!

Removing sex from the equation raises your value. Not everyone will appreciate that, but the RIGHT ONE will.
 
My SO and I have been abstaining for more than 2 months now. We had lots of sex in the beginning, but we are religious and started to believe that it was negatively affecting our relationship, among other things. Even though it has only been more than 2 months, we have no doubt we can wait until we are married. We have had challenging moments but it hasn't (yet) been as bad as I thought it would be.
 
Are there any ladies that waited until marriage and it was a complete disaster?? This is for anyone that has not posted upthread.
 
Celibate ladies please get regular massages. No, not that kind:)...
I mean decent, professional massages, at least once a month but more often if you can swing it.
The human body needs affectionate touch to fully thrive both mentally, emotionally & physically. A great massage should help you relax, relieve stress and promote well- being. It may not be the same as loving contact with a SO but it really does help. Try it and see. It could be even just a back and neck one, head massage, feet, any and all are good.
 
my husband and I were sexually before marriage. we then rededicated our lives to God and were celibate for nearly 2 years before we got married and we lived together. it was hard especially for me we almost messed up once but other than that we got through it
 
I'm proud to say we are still happily together and still abstaining. We have made it this far through prayer, Bible reading, determination to do the right thing for the good of our relationship and a desire to please God. So far, so good.
Good luck to everyone else. We can do this! :-)
 
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