New Species Alert: The Passive Aggressive Man

[LadyChe]

Anything we can do to limit the population of whiny, passive aggressive man?

I'm so tired of meeting men who are outwardly successful and normal, but the second I tell them no (Like no I'm not coming over to your house, no you can't stay at mine, I'm busy that weekend, Let's reschedule) I get all this p*ssin and moanin.

"Well since you don't have any TIME for me"
"Well since I can't stay with you, I guess I'll just not book this flight"
"Well since you can't support me by rearranging your entire life for random event _____"
"Well since you didn't text/email/call me RIGHT back I guess you're sooooo busy"
"Well since you don't want me SLOBBIN you down in the restaurant, you MUST not like me"


I wish we could put tags on these types of men like birds so we could discover their patterns and eradicate the species.

 

[dlewis]

So do you mean to let me, you have a man and you're complaining?

I know, j/k

 

[reallynow]

LMAO at the title "New Species Alert" !!! Aint nothing new, spoiled arse men!

 

[MissYocairis]

Anything we can do to limit the population of whiny, passive aggressive man?

I'm so tired of meeting men who are outwardly successful and normal, but the second I tell them no (Like no I'm not coming over to your house, no you can't stay at mine, I'm busy that weekend, Let's reschedule) I get all this p*ssin and moanin.

"Well since you don't have any TIME for me"
"Well since I can't stay with you, I guess I'll just not book this flight"
"Well since you can't support me by rearranging your entire life for random event _____"
"Well since you didn't text/email/call me RIGHT back I guess you're sooooo busy"
"Well since you don't want me SLOBBIN you down in the restaurant, you MUST not like me"


I wish we could put tags on these types of men like birds so we could discover their patterns and eradicate the species.

I feel you girl. I can remember being like at men who were like, "CBC! You cain't CALL nobody?"
GROSS! GET A LIFE, MARY!

Too funny. I love my SO. He'd rather have teeth pulled than come across as clingy.

 

[Bublin]

My ex was/is passive aggressive.

I was scared of him - he always looked as though he was about to hit me or something else.

He was also always the victim and poo-poo'd anything i had to say.

A few times he called me some nasty names for no reason at all.

I'm glad he's out of my life but it took some doing as he would always beg and plead for me to take him back.

 

[shellatl]

I am so glad someone started this thread, I too am sick of it. It seems very prevelant in Atlanta.

Here are examples of this kind of behavior.

*FEAR OF DEPENDENCY - Unsure of his autonomy & afraid of being alone, he fights his dependency needs - usually by trying to control you.

*FEAR OF INTIMACY - Guarded & often mistrusful, he is reluctant to show his emotional fragility. He's often out of touch with his feelings, reflexively denying feelings he thinks will "trap" or reveal him, like love. He picks fights to create distance.

*FEAR OF COMPETITION - Feeling inadequate, he is unable to compete with other men in work and love. He may operate either as a self-sabotaging wimp with a pattern of failure, or he'll be the tyrant, setting himself up as unassailable and perfect, needing to eliminate any threat to his power.

*OBSTRUCTIONISM - Just tell a p/a man what you want, no matter how small, and he may promise to get it for you. But he won't say when, and he"ll do it deliberately slowly just to frustrate you. Maybe he won't comply at all. He blocks any real progress he sees to your getting your way.

*FOSTERING CHAOS - The p/a man prefers to leave the puzzle incomplete, the job undone.

*FEELING VICTIMIZED - The p/a man protests that others unfairly accuse him rather than owning up to his own misdeeds. To remain above reporach, he sets himself up as the apparently hapless, innocent victim of your excessive demands and tirades.

*MAKING EXCUSES & LYING - The p/a man reaches as far as he can to fabricate excuses for not fulfilling promises. As a way of withholding information, affirmation or love - to have power over you - the p/a man may choose to make up a story rather than give you a straight answer.

*PROCRASTINATION - The p/a man has an odd sense of time - he believes that deadlines don't exist for him.

*CHRONIC LATENESS & FORGETFULNESS - One of the most infuriating & inconsiderate of all p/a traits is his inability to arrive on time. By keeping you waiting, he sets the ground rules of the relationship. And his selective forgetting - used only when he wants to avoid an obligation.

*AMBIGUITY - He is master of mixed messages and sitting on fences. When he tells you something, you may still walk away wondering if he actually said yes or no.

*SULKING - Feeling put upon when he is unable to live up to his promises or obligations, the p/a man retreats from pressures around him and sulks, pouts and withdraws.

A passive-aggressive man won't have every single one of these traits, but he'll have many of them. He may have other traits as well, which are not passive-aggressive.

 

[sonce]

Passive-aggressive men seem to be the majority...and the more successful a man is, the more PA he seems to be, in my (sad) experience.

 

[LadyChe]

So do you mean to let me, you have a man and you're complaining?

I know, j/k

LOL... DLewis, you know I wouldn't BE complaining if he was a MAN.

But imagine all this whining and crying from fools that don't even live in the same dang state. And we're on date #5. FIVE. CINQO.

Humph. If the tables were turned that man would be like...

ETA: the success thing is soooo true too. I don't even understand how this man has subordinates - he MUST not act that way with them...

 

[lexi08]

Passive-aggressive men seem to be the majority...and the more successful a man is, the more PA he seems to be, in my (sad) experience.

This is very true I catch hell with more successful guys.

 

[lexi08]

Passive-aggressive men seem to be the majority...and the more successful a man is, the more PA he seems to be, in my (sad) experience.

This is very true I catch hell with more successful guys.

 

[lexi08]

Passive-aggressive men seem to be the majority...and the more successful a man is, the more PA he seems to be, in my (sad) experience.

This is very true I catch hell with more successful guys.

 

[Syrah]

Anything we can do to limit the population of whiny, passive aggressive man?

I'm so tired of meeting men who are outwardly successful and normal, but the second I tell them no (Like no I'm not coming over to your house, no you can't stay at mine, I'm busy that weekend, Let's reschedule) I get all this p*ssin and moanin.

"Well since you don't have any TIME for me"
"Well since I can't stay with you, I guess I'll just not book this flight"
"Well since you can't support me by rearranging your entire life for random event _____"
"Well since you didn't text/email/call me RIGHT back I guess you're sooooo busy"
"Well since you don't want me SLOBBIN you down in the restaurant, you MUST not like me"


I wish we could put tags on these types of men like birds so we could discover their patterns and eradicate the species.

This is called the momma's boy.

He's so used to being the CENTER of someone else's world that he can't imagine not being the CENTER of yours.

Kick rocks.

Men who want clingy women = needy.

Needy man + one bad situation = Scary Man.

No thanks.

 

[sonce]

Anything we can do to limit the population of whiny, passive aggressive man?

We can all band together and refuse to tolerate them. PA men stay that way because they're good at finding women to confuse and abuse. Take away the women willing to put up with their mess and PA men will change by necessity because no man wants to go booty-less.

 

[itismehmmkay]

We can all band together and refuse to tolerate them. PA men stay that way because they're good at finding women to confuse and abuse. Take away the women willing to put up with their mess and PA men will change by necessity because no man wants to go booty-less.

________
but yeah, the P/A man is nothing new. My generation seems to have a huge percentage of them though.

 

[Bunny77]

This is very true I catch hell with more successful guys.

Yeah, what is it about successful guys that make them this way? I just cut one off... I think I surprised him. He's probably not used to women telling him no...

Although I don't do better with less-successful men either. Then they're intimidated. Sigh.

 

[Bunny77]

We can all band together and refuse to tolerate them. PA men stay that way because they're good at finding women to confuse and abuse. Take away the women willing to put up with their mess and PA men will change by necessity because no man wants to go booty-less.

I'm with you Captain Sonce! :mob:

 

[sonce]

Yeah, what is it about successful guys that make them this way? I just cut one off... I think I surprised him. He's probably not used to women telling him no...

There you have it. Whenever I give a successful guys the boot, they're always so shocked. Many women will put up with beatings, cheating, and all sorts of lies from broke guys who use them for cash, so you can only imagine what they'd do for men with good jobs and money.