My husband is indian and says since im black I cant grow my hair long!!!
- Thread starter mami2010
- Start date
Jazala
Well-Known Member
LovelyNaps26
Well-Known Member
Wow...first let me say you MARRIED someone that said that to you???!!!erplexed What happened to support? I don't care what his reason, lack of knowledge or if it was a "bluff", that was effed up...period...that's all she wrote. Damn!
Now that that's out the way...I hope you do grown hair LONGER than your goal just to prove him wrong-even though you should do it really for you. But yeah...I'm cheering for you.
it's not that deep.
Lucia
Well-Known Member
That list is not gonna work unless you take the "mixed" folks off. I can hear him saying "all of them are not black,. Some are mixed".
I actually added them in after thinking about it because mixed race women of African decent always get written off as mixed other or white and don't get identified as being part of the black race at all that's why I put them in.
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AmyRose92
Well-Known Member
Well before joining LHCF and starting my hair journey, I thought the same way. I always worked hard to get my hair to a good, full SL because I felt that that was long hair. I thought that you had to be mixed in order to have long hair or just be blessed with really resilient hair. And I'M black. If most black women believe this, why call out someone from another nationality/race/background/gender because they believe the same thing?
All that needs to be done is to prove the myths wrong. OP, just keep growing your hair and that'll be enough proof for him. And if that doesn't work, you can always show him the awesome ladies on LHCF or Fotki
All that needs to be done is to prove the myths wrong. OP, just keep growing your hair and that'll be enough proof for him. And if that doesn't work, you can always show him the awesome ladies on LHCF or Fotki
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Afrobuttafly
Well-Known Member
Maybe you need to educate your husband a little on the subject. Then he won't have ignorance to fall back on making misinformed comments like that. There are many long haired black women to present as evidence contrary to his opinion. Show him.
lilsparkle825
New Member
What is your regimen? How much has your hair grown since you started in November? Do you relax bone straight? How do you wear your hair?
I hope you have gotten it out of your head that your mom and sister were "lucky" and you are doomed to short hair. HHG!
I hope you have gotten it out of your head that your mom and sister were "lucky" and you are doomed to short hair. HHG!
SerenavanderWoodsen
SkinnyMe
This post is funny!Girl....jus give him the side eye then get your grow on. Wear ps so he can't see your growthonce you reach bsl or longer, let the games begin.
Trench coat and a bun
Strip off that coat
Do a bun drop
Use yo hair as a feather all over his body
Spank him with that hair
Spank him some mo
Color him all day and night and do the white girl swing with that hair!
Make him say yo name! In two languages
Ummmmm.......ok you get the picture.
SerenavanderWoodsen
SkinnyMe
I'd be hurt if my husband said that. And I'd be SET on proving him wrong lol even though I'd never expect to be able to grow hair as long and thick as and Indian woman lol so he'd always have something to say.
Luckily his sisters and mom don't have hair longer than mine lol. My husband is Afghan which is sort of like Indian lol. He doesn't seem to mind it curly at all luckily even when it's huge, it's like I expect him to say he doesn't like it but he never has. He doesn't like my hair soaked down with gel or super defined though lol. His family all love my hair curly and dislike it straight. Go figure. His mom used to have a perm back in the days
a frizzy perm do so when she sees my curly hair it probably reminds her of being young.
Luckily his sisters and mom don't have hair longer than mine lol. My husband is Afghan which is sort of like Indian lol. He doesn't seem to mind it curly at all luckily even when it's huge, it's like I expect him to say he doesn't like it but he never has. He doesn't like my hair soaked down with gel or super defined though lol. His family all love my hair curly and dislike it straight. Go figure. His mom used to have a perm back in the days
a frizzy perm do so when she sees my curly hair it probably reminds her of being young.
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fiyahwerks
Well-Known Member
Even though that's your hubby. I think you still have the God given right to ignore his ignorance, and force that negativity into energy to baby your hair.
What did they say about opinions and butts...
What did they say about opinions and butts...
omegachick31
New Member
Ignorance is not a damnable thing, stupidity is....ignorance can be remedied with education...stupidity is beyond reproach....Lady, just get your teach on...
lovenharmony
ET / OT Bonafide Member
He's not the first to think this. It is a very common misconception & perhaps one of the primary reasons why this hair forum even exists.... So, why are some people in this thread up in arms & acting brand new?
*clutches pearls* "Oh my! He said that?! How dare he have a common point if view that is part of the reason why I'm on a hair board trying to find the best possible strategies to keep my hair healthy so that it will become long? *humph*"
The only way to change this extremely common and false POV is to keep proving them wrong. Good luck OP
Sent from my iPhone 4 using LHCF
It's the 'everything is someone else's fault but our own' syndrome
Our own Black community thinks these things, but let another race say the same thing and peeps ready to roll heads! It's the same concept when I hear our misguided youth talking about 'N word this and N word that', and don't want other races to say it to them. We got to get our own house in order in order to stop perpetuating the negative stereotypes of the Black race.
HauteHippie
Well-Known Member
Nope! It's a free for all! Censors are for strangers!
Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2
HauteHippie
Well-Known Member
I don't think it's fair (at all) to make the OPs husband out to be a villain for having a VERY COMMON misconception. From his POV, he's not "talking sideways," he's just being honest about his viewpoint. Just because he married a black woman doesn't mean he has to be privy to everything about black culture. There isn't a test required before interracial marriage
A lot of BLACK WOMEN don't even think they can grow their hair long. We all know a couple women who feel this way. So, how can we get mad at men of other races for not knowing?
The OP knows her husband better than anyone else on this board & she knows his heart. Calling into question why she married him or how he could marry her is out of line & disrespectful.
Sent from my iPhone 4 using LHCF
Heard and agreed! I've noticed that we tend to get offensive and verbally disrespect women's husbands on here even if it's not due. In this case, maybe people are personally offended, but I haven't read this kind of response in "My mother said Black hair XYZ".
On LHCF, she WILL be encouraged to toss 'em out for crumbs in the bed.
Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2
Cherokee-n-Black
Well-Known Member
It's the 'everything is someone else's fault but our own' syndrome
I hear you, but these things did not come from within us, they were told to (ETA: forced upon) ourancestors by other races, who then became inundated with the message, internalized it, and then passed it down and passed it down. I finally had to let go of comedic and insular use of the "n" word, after formerly justifying our use vs. other people saying it by the fact that they use it to insult and degrade, while we use it to diffuse its effect and meaning. After hearing multiple latino youth use it back and forth, openly in front of black people on the subway--along with black kids--I had seen enough. Let someone call one of them a spic or wetback and see if it's all love and games.
We did diffuse it's effect and meaning, to the point where it's considered acceptable in the mainstream, and that ain't cool.In the end, we are in an uphill battle to undo the damage that was done. I don't fault the black community for the endemic psychosocial issues that plague us because we didn't create them. It's become a part of the culture and it's very difficult to change a culture, particularly when the opposing viewpoint is constantly being reinforced by something as powerful as the media. All we can do is fight the good fight, and raise our children differently from how we were raised. Maybe in 100 years, after they raise their kids, and their kids' kids raise their kids, it will be a different world...
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ScorpioBeauty09
Well-Known Member
I agree we shouldn't demonize him but IMO this isn't even about race or understanding black culture. He should support/encourage her to grow her hair because she is his wife and this is what she wants to do. It's like my dad supporting my mom in publishing her novel or my mom supporting my dad in his business merger. Race or stereotypes shouldn't come into the picture when it's your spouse. But maybe I'm being too idealistic.I don't think it's fair (at all) to make the OPs husband out to be a villain for having a VERY COMMON misconception. From his POV, he's not "talking sideways," he's just being honest about his viewpoint. Just because he married a black woman doesn't mean he has to be privy to everything about black culture. There isn't a test required before interracial marriage
A lot of BLACK WOMEN don't even think they can grow their hair long. We all know a couple women who feel this way. So, how can we get mad at men of other races for not knowing?
PinkGirlFluff
New Member
Re: Someone told me since im black I cant grow my hair long!
He probably thinks that because he assumes that all Black women with long hair are wearing weaves or he does not see many Black women with long hair. Hair is just another part of your body. If you take good care of it and your body overall it will flourish. Race does not matter. I sometimes wonder if the studies that state that our hair grows slower take overall health into consideration?
He probably thinks that because he assumes that all Black women with long hair are wearing weaves or he does not see many Black women with long hair. Hair is just another part of your body. If you take good care of it and your body overall it will flourish. Race does not matter. I sometimes wonder if the studies that state that our hair grows slower take overall health into consideration?
PinkGirlFluff
New Member
And please do not be mad at your husband for stating that. Often there are things that are said between lovers that are not things we might say to others. And I know some people might freak out but when you date somebody that may be from a different background (whether it be race, religion, or socioeconomic status) you feel more free to ask questions and to make statements that you wouldn't make to others because it would be rude. I am sure he did not mean any harm. He just thought he knew something he didn't and when he sees your hair swinging and blinging he'll eat his words! lol. Men think they are so smart!
lamorenita02907
New Member
My hubby said the same thing when I began my journey..and now I'm BSL and every time I straighten my hair his eyes gets sooooo big. I know he feels soo stupid now....it just makes me feel soo good to be able to shut him up and prove him wrong. Now he just stares at it and can't keep his hands outta my hair! he's amazed! lol
they're too funny
i'm black and he's dominican lol
they're too funny
i'm black and he's dominican lol
lamorenita02907
New Member
I'm gonna tell him that imma grow my hair down to my booty and see what he says! 
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
my husband said the same thing. now he knows better. a lot of folks feel that way. i don't think he wasn't being rude or unsupportive. he was just stating a fact (his truth). i can't wait to see your progress 6 months to a year from now. you should join the SL challenge. you will be there in no time. Good Luck!
make him take your progress pics too! i use DH for that so he sees it for himself. he now likes my hair being natural. he just doesn't like it when i looklike someone from the cast of the Color Purple!
make him take your progress pics too! i use DH for that so he sees it for himself. he now likes my hair being natural. he just doesn't like it when i looklike someone from the cast of the Color Purple!
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mami2010
New Member
my husband said the same thing. now he knows better. a lot of folks feel that way. i don't think he wasn't being rude or unsupportive. he was just stating a fact (his truth). i can't wait to see your progress 6 months to a year from now. you should join the SL challenge. you will be there in no time. Good Luck!
make him take your progress pics too! i use DH for that so he sees it for himself. he now likes my hair being natural. he just doesn't like it when i looklike someone from the cast of the Color Purple!
LOL, ok I will join that I can do that. Yep I will make him take the pics.
mami2010
New Member
lamorenita02907
New Member
Yea, I couldn't wait till the day that I could prove him wrong and everytime I look at my hair I'm sooo happy and amazed at the progress! I now know that I can grow it as long as i like and that feels great.
Everyone around me is amazed as well..my mother's mouth flies wide open when she sees my hair..it's an accomplishment, and it makes me feel like I can do anything. Makes me feel purty too and unique!
Everyone around me is amazed as well..my mother's mouth flies wide open when she sees my hair..it's an accomplishment, and it makes me feel like I can do anything. Makes me feel purty too and unique!
mami2010
New Member
Yea, I couldn't wait till the day that I could prove him wrong and everytime I look at my hair I'm sooo happy and amazed at the progress! I now know that I can grow it as long as i like and that feels great.
Everyone around me is amazed as well..my mother's mouth flies wide open when she sees my hair..it's an accomplishment, and it makes me feel like I can do anything. Makes me feel purty too and unique!
That is great! I cant wait till I get to bra strap. I know the day is coming just will take some time. How long were you when u started?
mami2010
New Member
My Regimen:
Shampoo 2x per month - rollerset
co wash 1x per week - rollerset
DC 1x per week - Airdry
Clarify 1x per month - Airdry
Relax 12-16 weeks - Rollerset
Whole head baggie 2x per week
Moisturize and seal 2x per day
PS wigs, sew ins
I am trying to keep it as simple as possible.
Shampoo 2x per month - rollerset
co wash 1x per week - rollerset
DC 1x per week - Airdry
Clarify 1x per month - Airdry
Relax 12-16 weeks - Rollerset
Whole head baggie 2x per week
Moisturize and seal 2x per day
PS wigs, sew ins
I am trying to keep it as simple as possible.
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lamorenita02907
New Member
I was shoulder length..it took me about 2 yrs. to get to BSL. I had several setbacks because I was transitiong in the process.
mami2010
New Member
I was thinking it would take me two years. COOL!
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