My husband is indian and says since im black I cant grow my hair long!!!

My Friend said:
Girl....jus give him the side eye then get your grow on. Wear ps so he can't see your growth :spinning: once you reach bsl or longer, let the games begin.

Trench coat and a bun :yep:

Strip off that coat :blush:

Do a bun drop :blush:

Use yo hair as a feather all over his body :blush:

Spank him with that hair :blush:

Spank him some mo :blush:

Color him all day and night and do the white girl swing with that hair! :blush:

Make him say yo name! In two languages :lachen:


Ummmmm....... :look: ok you get the picture.
Click to expand...

OK. This is hilarious. :lachen:
 
SmileyNY said:
He's not the first to think this. It is a very common misconception & perhaps one of the primary reasons why this hair forum even exists.... So, why are some people in this thread up in arms & acting brand new? :look:


*clutches pearls* "Oh my! He said that?! How dare he have a common point if view that is part of the reason why I'm on a hair board trying to find the best possible strategies to keep my hair healthy so that it will become long? *humph*"
:rolleyes:

The only way to change this extremely common and false POV is to keep proving them wrong. Good luck OP :)


Sent from my iPhone 4 using LHCF
Click to expand...


Thanks was not enough!

People be in denial................................
 
SmileyNY said:
He's not the first to think this. It is a very common misconception & perhaps one of the primary reasons why this hair forum even exists.... So, why are some people in this thread up in arms & acting brand new? :look:


*clutches pearls* "Oh my! He said that?! How dare he have a common point if view that is part of the reason why I'm on a hair board trying to find the best possible strategies to keep my hair healthy so that it will become long? *humph*"
:rolleyes:

The only way to change this extremely common and false POV is to keep proving them wrong. Good luck OP :)


Sent from my iPhone 4 using LHCF
Click to expand...

Okay said:
Thanks was not enough!

People be in denial................................
Click to expand...

There seems to be a disconnect between why people are upset and the issue at hand. It's not surprising that someone has this misconception, it is surprising that someone married to a black woman would tell her something so defeatist and--sorry--racist. Black women can, do, and have grown their hair long without LHCF. It's this very misconception that keeps many black women from even trying to grow their hair and continue to perm it up (in an unhealthy way), weave it up, or just have bad hair all day every day.

I think the real reason this board exists is so black women will see that it's not true. So, I think the response is twofold: One - don't believe the hype! A message that can't be repeated often enough on this board, especially for someone who's being actively discouraged from seeking to grow out their hair. And Two - Wow, that's your DH talking that smack to you? I can see some ig'nant dued on the street, but your man??? Whassup with that???

I hope OP is right and it's just some reverse psychology okey doke. But as you said SmileNY, the best response is just to prove him wrong! Tell the women from his country to keep their hair! :lol:
 
I don't think it's fair (at all) to make the OPs husband out to be a villain for having a VERY COMMON misconception. From his POV, he's not "talking sideways," he's just being honest about his viewpoint. Just because he married a black woman doesn't mean he has to be privy to everything about black culture. There isn't a test required before interracial marriage :rolleyes: It doesn't mean that he won't be a victim of mistaking a stereotypes for facts either.

A lot of BLACK WOMEN don't even think they can grow their hair long. We all know a couple women who feel this way. So, how can we get mad at men of other races for not knowing?

The OP knows her husband better than anyone else on this board & she knows his heart. Calling into question why she married him or how he could marry her is out of line & disrespectful.


Sent from my iPhone 4 using LHCF
 
SmileyNY said:
I don't think it's fair (at all) to make the OPs husband out to be a villain for having a VERY COMMON misconception. From his POV, he's not "talking sideways," he's just being honest about his viewpoint. Just because he married a black woman doesn't mean he has to be privy to everything about black culture. There isn't a test required before interracial marriage :rolleyes: It doesn't mean that he won't be a victim of mistaking a stereotypes for facts either.

A lot of BLACK WOMEN don't even think that they can grow their hair long. We all know a couple women who feel this way. So, how can we get mad at men of other races for not knowing?

The OP knows her husband better than anyone else on this board & she knows his heart. Calling into question why she married him or how could he marry her is out of line & disrespectful.


Sent from my iPhone 4 using LHCF
Click to expand...


I agree, its not only him that thinks this way. Even some of my family members of mine would think the same thing about hair. I am letting them know too it is possible.
 
It is nice to see what people think about this. I am growing my hair out for me. But to see people think you cant do it makes me more anxious to prove them wrong.

Thanks for all the replies!
 
mami2010 said:
I agree, its not only him that thinks this way. Even some of my family members of mine would think the same thing about hair. I am letting them know too it is possible.
Click to expand...

mami2010
You didn't answer my earlier question, but how can your husband and family members think it's not possible, if your mom & sis have long hair. Maybe I'm missing something...
 
SmileyNY said:
He's not the first to think this. It is a very common misconception & perhaps one of the primary reasons why this hair forum even exists.... So, why are some people in this thread up in arms & acting brand new? :look:


*clutches pearls* "Oh my! He said that?! How dare he have a common point if view that is part of the reason why I'm on a hair board trying to find the best possible strategies to keep my hair healthy so that it will become long? *humph*"
:rolleyes:

The only way to change this extremely common and false POV is to keep proving them wrong. Good luck OP :)
Click to expand...

Amen and amen! Let's keep it real. Many at some point have put up with worse comments than that from a significant other or side piece :perplexed
 
Go girl and don't let them (HS) fool you when your HS tells you need a cut (so called trim). You gauge it yourself when you need to trim. Be firm and take care of your hair and body and you will get there. Best thing is what you are doing is taking your hair care into your own hands. HHJ!

Now when you grow your hair out, what would be the excuse that you grew it that long and the general black populous does not. You're mixed, you're one of the exception....
Don't let anyone get to you cause you know different!
 
Last edited:
sipp100 said:
Awww, if DH is kind in all other respects, I'm sure he just wasn't thinking when he spoke.
mami2010 If your mother and sis have long hair, why would he think BW can't grow long hair?
Click to expand...

I told him their hair is naturally silky and he said that from using flat irons .... I told him no no that's not from flat ironing. He believe me now. He will soon believe us black women can grow our hair long too.



Sent from my iPhone 4 using LHCF
 
mami2010 - did you edit your post to say "Someone" instead of your DH? Just curious.

I had to re-read it to respond to SmileNY - which is only to say that it looked as though OP was looking for support for her indignance and determination. This is a message board, so I'm not sure, if she didn't want responses what reaction she was hoping for. I *think* she got it, although I'm not sure. Maybe some of the "how could you marry him?" stuff was over the top, but all in all, (I'm not in an IRR so I can't really say 100%) I would think that couples in IRR's would at the very least avoid using racist stereotypes against each other in common conversation.
 
I told him his hair has thinned out since I met him and he need to work on it.. He says since I'm into hair work on it for him... I told him we can work on our hair health together. He is coming around.

After we leave the gym and get home I will bring him to the forum and school him.


Sent from my iPhone 4 using LHCF
 
Cherokee-n-Black said:
mami2010 - did you edit your post to say "Someone" instead of your DH? Just curious.

I had to re-read it to respond to SmileNY - which is only to say that it looked as though OP was looking for support for her indignance and determination. This is a message board, so I'm not sure, if she didn't want responses what reaction she was hoping for. I *think* she got it, although I'm not sure. Maybe some of the "how could you marry him?" stuff was over the top, but all in all, (I'm not in an IRR so I can't really say 100%) I would think that couples in IRR's would at the very least avoid using racist stereotypes against each other in common conversation.
Click to expand...

I think it's a good thing he said it so that it can be corrected or else I would have never knew he think that way. If he say yes baby u can do it just to say so but don't feel it in his heart would be a lie.

And yes I did edit post....


Sent from my iPhone 4 using LHCF
 
mami2010 said:
I told him their hair is naturally silky and he said that from using flat irons .... I told him no no that's not from flat ironing. He believe me now. He will soon believe us black women can grow our hair long too.



Sent from my iPhone 4 using LHCF
Click to expand...

So, your mom & sis are not Black? If they are, why would your husband think Black women can't grow hair, when it's right before his eyes - in the form of your very own mother and sister?

Anyways, I wish you all the best on your hair journey. :Rose:
 
mami2010 said:
Not my mom or sis but others like cousins



Sent from my iPhone 4 using LHCF
Click to expand...
are your cousins black? lol

I told my mom I was gonna grow waistlength natural hair and her reply was, "your hair has never been that long"... I don't think she thinks I can do it.
 
No disrespect...but your husband needs to be educated about avoiding stereotypes....especially since he is married to an African-American woman....I hope you continue to impress yourself while growing your hair out because ppl will continue to make up excuses to feed their own ignorance and I wouldn't doubt that he'll come up with a creative reason as to why you and the rest of us were able to grow long, healthy hair...even though most humans have that capacity...HHG!!
 
That list is not gonna work unless you take the "mixed" folks off. I can hear him saying "all of them are not black,. Some are mixed".:yep:

Lucia said:
Call his bluff. I'm posting a dozen different YTubers so you have some good examples of what healthy haircare can do for anyone.



LeobodyC5
http://www.youtube.com/user/LeobodyC5#p/c/69A3AAFAB00BD571/3/E9oOrIT83P0

http://www.youtube.com/user/LeobodyC5#p/u/36/MgIn6OG3CYs

Longhairdontcare
http://www.youtube.com/user/Longhairdontcare2011

Irris
http://www.youtube.com/user/IRRISISTABLBTCH#p/u/6/NCUVPksA_vk

Sylver
http://www.youtube.com/user/sylver2

songsofjoy-no vids just the background pic

KimmayT
http://www.youtube.com/user/kimmaytube#p/u/4/_1b5_XLegUY

http://www.youtube.com/user/kimmaytube#p/u/5/8db1nhP_oAk

Moptopmaven
http://www.youtube.com/user/MopTopMaven#p/u/12/ppY5S0cBwyM


Naptural85
http://www.youtube.com/user/Naptural85

http://www.youtube.com/user/Naptural85#p/u/0/szp1DdV0Rm8

Chellywellzshop
http://www.youtube.com/user/chellywellzshop#p/u/31/gG_Tz2o1nic

Mlle Cafeaulait
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOtRT_1aD0M&feature=feedrec_grec_index

http://www.youtube.com/user/MlleCafeAuLait#p/u/4/MX7f8jJgWJU

http://www.youtube.com/user/MlleCafeAuLait#p/u/8/bTbhiWAEpJg


Taren
http://www.youtube.com/user/taren916#p/u/2/49vbeS7vONY

Stelladata
http://www.youtube.com/user/stelladata#p/u/14/jPuSrOHKXDs

DOrient
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheDorient#p/u/1/aykIesjT_oM

Richeau
http://www.youtube.com/user/richeau#p/a/u/0/aQgY_NlgxNY

http://www.youtube.com/user/richeau#p/u/4/y51CjWpiNHs

Haircrush
http://www.youtube.com/user/HairCrush#p/u/22/da8u_TxphJU

http://www.youtube.com/user/HairCrush#p/u/18/sFMkR6MZgOY

http://www.youtube.com/user/HairCrush#p/u/19/p8uBpeVhFPY

http://www.youtube.com/user/HairCrush#p/u/6/AVotrFMm5T4

Amoremusica
http://www.youtube.com/user/amoremusica#p/u/2/WIPo_tFCBRk

Kinkycurly founder Shelley
http://www.youtube.com/user/KinkyCurlyHairCare#p/a/u/2/_JkWd-MyVdE

SophistecatedMamma
http://www.youtube.com/user/SOPHISTICATEDMMAMA#p/u/52/UOqyUjaie58

Tais Araujo-brazilian Actress
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpOra7EGhMQ&feature=mh_lolz&list=WLC0DB6EAF84F4CC71


Andrea's choice
http://www.youtube.com/user/AndreasChoice

http://www.youtube.com/user/AndreasChoice#p/search/11/7_r7Ii2jSvk
Click to expand...
 
I have a naysayer in my life and to him(ex/father of my child) its even laughable for me to imagine growing my hair past my shoulders. He also thought I was clinically insane to cut off my relaxed hair and go natural. I have goals to reach for me but it will be wonderful to prove his ignorance wrong. I can relate to you OP and I hope u can prove your DH very wrong by exceeding your goals.
 
NicWhite said:
This is a prime example of why it is important to pay attention to how something is said.

It is probably not a good idea to title a thread "My husband is indian and says since im black I cant grow my hair long", on a forum that caters to black women.

The OP made a statement that she is is jealous of her daughters and husband's hair. Unless her husband has long hair, the statement leads me to believe she is jealous of the texture of their hair.

OP, it might be a good idea to get this thread removed so that you will not have to read angry comments about your husband. I think all women should learn from this, especially if your husband is of a different race. Threads like this usually never end well. :perplexed
Click to expand...

ITA, especially the part in red/bold. I wish I could "THANKS" this post more than once.
 
Funny thread. I wonder how he will feel if someone tells him Indian men are known for tiny package below. lol
 
OP, if he is indeed using reverse psychology on you, and telling you that you can't grow your hair long b/c you're Black, then just ignore it and do ya thang! Afterall, you have a wealth of info here at LHCF, not counting all the thousands of hair care blogs, sites, and informative pages on the 'Net!!

But if he is genuinely convinced Black women can't grow their hair long...like others said, show him some pics from the online sites! And, other than that I'd just let it go in 1 ear and out the other...while you grow your hair beautifully. HTH!
 
Re: Someone told me since im black I cant grow my hair long!

mami2010 said:
Last night I told Someone I will be growing my hair out to bra strap length. They said no that is not possible. Black people cant grow hair long. I told them yes it is possible. Umm I think I am even more motivated to grow out my hair now. I got my notebook ready and starting to really get this hair growing thing down because I know it is possible thanks to this forum. So I am now really to take this journey full blast.

I have been working on my hair since I joined this forum in November 2010 and it is on the right path now. My hair was cut in May 2011 to get rid of some damage. It was so thin but now its looks alot fuller since I cut it.

Click to expand...

I don't know what your regi is but I wanted to tell you if you are going to wear your hair out to try rollerseting it because the flat iron looks like it is causing damage. and leave the grease alone if you are using that. don't do anything that they say is for black hair like the pressing grease we use to use back in the day lol. like I said I don't know what your regiment is but I just wanted to point those things out to you.
 
My two cents: I don't believe in "race"... terminal hair length is dependent on your individual growth rate and the length of your anagen (growth) phase. Anybody that has knowlegde of simple hair science should not be offended by this comment. Why be offended by something that is not true coming from someone who is simply ignorant about the subject and really means no real harm. Also even if it were true that "black women can't grow long hair"... what would be so bad about that? Your hair length doesn't determine you worth as a human. To be offended is to believe (even subconsiously) that it does. Why argue and take offense to something that is based on genetics? There are some people out there that really can't grow long hair because of genetics. This man is not racist... he would have to believe "blackness" and "short hair" were negative (i.e. blackness=negative=short hair)... and um his wife is black. Anyways that's all I have to say... I'm just shocked by the offense and defensiveness in this thread.
 
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