My husband is indian and says since im black I cant grow my hair long!!!

Well, from the looks of your bedroom and having the view of the Atlantic Ocean, if you decide to do the reveal I suggested, it's going to be off the chain up in there.

Congratulations on retaining your length.
 
My Friend said:
Well, from the looks of your bedroom and having the view of the Atlantic Ocean, if you decide to do the reveal I suggested, it's going to be off the chain up in there.

Congratulations on retaining your length.
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Thanks, I plan on doing what you suggested. I cant wait to reveal!
 
mami2010 said:
Successfulmiss
Thanks! We are looking forward to opening a salon next year. He is very encouraging with my journey now. He helps me with my scalp massages and I help him put up his targets when he shoot. lol we really have a great marriage.
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I am so glad that things have turned around! :drunk:The first yr in my interracial marriage was VERY hard...my husband and I had to talk and pray so much together because there was alot of cultural differances we had to overcome. Glad you both made it through!:)
 
czyfaith77 said:
I just came in to read a little. But, I want to add that it has been a while since I have really been on LHCF regularly (I took a hiatus) but, I have to really say we have some wonderful women on here. I like the supportive words and encouragement that I have been seeing on here with a lot of the ladies. It was like that before but in times past ( and I am sure it still exist and some other parts of the forum) there had been a lot of cattiness, rudeness, ignorance, and so forth but I really glad to see this group of ladies really do best what women can and should do and that is support and encourage one another. Have a wonderful day ladies, keep doing what you do and keep encouraging what we all need to do and that is take special care of ourselves for as wives, mothers, sisters, friends, career orientated, students and just women in general we do alot and we give alot and if we don't love and support ourselves, then who will. Much love ladies!

And to the OP, just do the doggone thang! You know what and how your husband said what he said. You can act and respond to as your feel you should because only you know what was said, who it is from, and how you perceived it. Regardless, take it with a grain of salt . Don't wear your feelings on your shoulders. Stay focused and keep it moving. My husband sometimes say things. However, with me knowing him, I have learned not to take it the way it just comes out. Sometimes what he says does have some truth however, sometimes he is not as tactful as I would be with words. He is Ghanaian. Smiling..and I have also learned to check him on it by expressing myself tactfully and honestly about about how I perceived it. I am tactful and careful because I still like to hear what he has to say and do not want him to totally shut down and feel like he can't communicate with me. However, when he talks to me he now considers what he is saying and how he is saying it. I have learned not to react so eagerly as I may have perceived it wrong. It is interesting though.....Smiling Part of it is a men's thing with communication and in my case some of it it is part culture too as I have talked to some of the women and some of them will say we just say what we have to say. Again, you know what and how it was said and you do what you have to do and still remain true to you. Keep it moving girl, you can do it!
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im ghanaian and yeah the men can be harsh with their words i guess because they expect everyone to have a tough exterior as they do. alot of the females in my family are like that too. im very sensitive compared to them. i guess that has to do with being born and raised here in the US and growing up with barney & friends lol. I definitely understand where everyones coming from though.

& i would like to say i really admire you ladies. Speaking about your realtionships/marriages really gives a youngin, like my self, hope! I learn alot from you all:yep:
 
mami2010 said:
[USER]MyFriend[/USER]

Yes I have retained some length and better overall hair health! My husband is a really big help now in this journey. He even reminds me at night if I forget to put on my scarf, and does my scalp massages. I really love this lhcf community for all the help and support. Thanks for checking on me! :grin:

Excuse the bathroom, wallpaper not complete yet. We just got done building our home and is putting on the finishing touches.
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What oil are you using for scalp massage?
If you're not already maybe you could try Ayurvedic oils without mineral oil
 
mami2010,
I just wanted to Congratulate you on your new home, marriage, and baby.
Your bedroom is gorgeous as well as that shower. LOL
It is obvious that you and your DH have a great relationship. I am glad that you took the high road in this thread instead of feeding into the negativity.

My DH is of a different culture than me and sometimes we say things that may be perceived as rude or as some have stated, racist but only we know the context of those comments and there is no malice behind them. Just true, cultural differences.

We learn from those things and therefore, learn about each other.

Good luck with your continued hair journey!
 
xmsxtashax said:
im ghanaian and yeah the men can be harsh with their words i guess because they expect everyone to have a tough exterior as they do. alot of the females in my family are like that too. im very sensitive compared to them. i guess that has to do with being born and raised here in the US and growing up with barney & friends lol. I definitely understand where everyones coming from though.

& i would like to say i really admire you ladies. Speaking about your realtionships/marriages really gives a youngin, like my self, hope! I learn alot from you all:yep:
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You're funny. So you understand. It took a little getting used to but I'm cool now. He is not hard like some that I have met. Many of those were older ones and more old school. My husband is rather sweet, gentle , and kind but sometimes he just say things because that is the only way he knows to express himself. It comes with listening, respect, open communication
 
I have to add I learn a great deal on here too other than just hair. Some I toss and some I keep. Sometimes it feels like either a slumber party or being amongst a bunch of your sisters or friends.
 
Personally I wouldn't be offended at all. I'm guessing he said it as he doesn't know any better. Until the Internet; YouTube, this forum, I was ignorant too. My hair has always been nice and healthy (thanks mum!) but it never grew past apl due to excessive trimming and the styles i used to wear. I kinda just accepted that that was my length.
I would just let the comment roll off, continue with my healthy hair journey and be sure to tell him "I told you I could do it", once you reach your goal(s) :)
Imo there is no need to feel negative about it, Just let it be something to motivate you
 
Caramel Hottie UK said:
Personally I wouldn't be offended at all. I'm guessing he said it as he doesn't know any better. Until the Internet; YouTube, this forum, I was ignorant too. My hair has always been nice and healthy (thanks mum!) but it never grew past apl due to excessive trimming and the styles i used to wear. I kinda just accepted that that was my length.
I would just let the comment roll off, continue with my healthy hair journey and be sure to tell him "I told you I could do it", once you reach your goal(s) :)
Imo there is no need to feel negative about it, Just let it be something to motivate you
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I do agree. I never fully understood our hair until I started researching the internet like you mentioned.
 
Last night I hung out with a friend of mine, who just happens to be Indian , and he decided it was appropriate to tell me that hair is the reason why he doesnt date fully black women. Apparently he doesnt want to "deal" with it. I wonder how his new half black girlfriend is going to be able to deal with him. :ohwell:
 
mami2010 How's it going? This thread's pretty old? I was looking for the update, but got lost in the sea of comments?

Meanwhile, I've learned so much coming on here, which is saying something because I considered myself VERY knowledgeable on hair care and had always been able to grow my hair to pretty significant lengths, looking very healthy. That said, there was a WHOLE lot I didn't know (and I'm still learning). Being on this site gave me the info I needed to be confident that once I took the natural plunge, there would be hair care techiques and products to support my natural hair care and styling. But I digress...

The biggest lesson I've learned is about shrinkage. Now, let's be honest, black women with their own hair past SL has only recently become widespread. Those of you who had long hair growing up and grew hair long as adults from say, 1980 - 2000, can you REALLY say you were the norm and not the "exception?" I can't. I can probably name every single girl I went to school with who had hair as long, almost as long, or longer than mine and probably count them on one hand. At least that's what I thought. Now, that I know more about shrinkage, I wonder how many of those girls whose hair I thought was shorter, had hair just as long, but it just didn't look as long due to curl pattern and shrinkage?

In any event, the rest of the world isn't even as close to being as educated as the people on this site, so if someone says "black women can't grow their hair long" they're absolutely dead wrong--but I don't think it's all that unreasonable to conclude that based on what limited info there is in the mainstream. But they are wrong! :D
 
Shadiyah said:
@hola_lo2002 how does it feel to be past WL????? I just checked your youtube length check yaa!!
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Honestly, I never thought my hair could reach past WL. There was a time when I thought I'd stay APL forever!!! I don't want my longer than WL because it'll be to hard to manage. I'm just happy that I can now achieve any hairstyle that i want :-)
 
hola_lo2002 said:
Honestly, I never thought my hair could reach past WL. There was a time when I thought I'd stay APL forever!!! I don't want my longer than WL because it'll be to hard to manage. I'm just happy that I can now achieve any hairstyle that i want :-)
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hola_lo2002

That was really inspiring! My hair is the longest I can ever remember it being and I haven't quite reached APL yet. I recently started feeling like maybe I'll finally make APL this year and then never make it further. I don't know why this started! I'm trying to banish those negative thoughts. Anyway, your post reminded me to stay positive! Thank you!

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2
 
HauteHippie said:
@hola_lo2002

That was really inspiring! My hair is the longest I can ever remember it being and I haven't quite reached APL yet. I recently started feeling like maybe I'll finally make APL this year and then never make it further. I don't know why this started! I'm trying to banish those negative thoughts. Anyway, your post reminded me to stay positive! Thank you!

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2
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Stay focused on your goals and you'll get there:yep:!!
 
My husband is now shedding his hair more than usual... I told him before his hair is thinning and he didnt want to believe it. But now he is asking for my advice. Lol I was waiting for this day. I got out my castor oil and have him taking saw palmetto. Any other suggestions ladies? The thinning is starting from the center of his head. His back and edges are good still.
 
mami2010 said:
My husband is now shedding his hair more than usual... I told him before his hair is thinning and he didnt want to believe it. But now he is asking for my advice. Lol I was waiting for this day. I got out my castor oil and have him taking saw palmetto. Any other suggestions ladies? The thinning is starting from the center of his head. His back and edges are good still.
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mami2010

No offense but I'm just going to put it out there.
Well stress and extra weight in the mid section, or plainly belly-fat is directly linked to thinning hair and loss of hair because it produces toxins that hurt the hair follicles. You can look it up. Also internal cleansing like colon cleansing can help greatly it will get him off to a good start. Dr. Natura is a good cleasning system and you don't have to fast to do it. HTH
 
Ebonybunny said:
Last night I hung out with a friend of mine, who just happens to be Indian , and he decided it was appropriate to tell me that hair is the reason why he doesnt date fully black women. Apparently he doesnt want to "deal" with it. I wonder how his new half black girlfriend is going to be able to deal with him. :ohwell:
Click to expand...

Ebonybunny
I call bullshyte, he's a man he would never have to "deal" with a woman's hair or his kids hair, so if he lived in say Brazil, Venezuela, Atlanta where the fully black women do have some hair on average he would still not want to date one? Is it hair texture, or short hair that's his problem cause I know of plenty of fully black women who have long healthy hair with a range of textures.
 
Lucia said:
Ebonybunny
I call bullshyte, he's a man he would never have to "deal" with a woman's hair or his kids hair, so if he lived in say Brazil, Venezuela, Atlanta where the fully black women do have some hair on average he would still not want to date one? Is it hair texture, or short hair that's his problem cause I know of plenty of fully black women who have long healthy hair with a range of textures.
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Its a texture thing for him, he cant seem to appreciate the tight coils etc. Im not sure why he felt the need to share this with me of all ppl :perplexed
 
mami2010 said:
My husband is now shedding his hair more than usual... I told him before his hair is thinning and he didnt want to believe it. But now he is asking for my advice. Lol I was waiting for this day. I got out my castor oil and have him taking saw palmetto. Any other suggestions ladies? The thinning is starting from the center of his head. His back and edges are good still.
Click to expand...

Add scalp massages with the castor oil. He should be able to do this daily since he doesn't have a hair style to disturb. He wants to start and the nape of his neck and work his way up.
 
The 'Ignance in me would have said Its not possible for Indian's breath to smell good. lol

Oh the look on his face when ur hair grows out.
 
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