mischka about town.

mischka said:
That's an interesting way of looking at it.
Click to expand...

For future reference, if you meet a guy on a dating website; only see him once in your life; he never calls you after the date; you call him several times but he never picks up; then he texts you telling you to come over and "cuddle" with him, that's code for telling you to come over and have sex with him. He doesn't have to come out and say it, but it's implied in his request. He knows that not many women would comply with this kind of request from a stranger, but you did, so he thought you were down for whatever. That's why when you got there, he tried to take your pants off and called you a tease when you resisted.
 
MissJ said:
For future reference, if you meet a guy on a dating website; only see him once in your life; he never calls you after the date; you call him several times but he never picks up; then he texts you telling you to come over and "cuddle" with him, that's code for telling you to come over and have sex with him. He doesn't have to come out and say it, but it's implied in his request. He knows that not many women would comply with this kind of request from a stranger, but you did, so he thought you were down for whatever. That's why when you got there, he tried to take your pants off and called you a tease when you resisted.
Click to expand...

Wow, that's a really cool perspective.
 
MissJ said:
For future reference, if you meet a guy on a dating website; only see him once in your life; he never calls you after the date; you call him several times but he never picks up; then he texts you telling you to come over and "cuddle" with him, that's code for telling you to come over and have sex with him. He doesn't have to come out and say it, but it's implied in his request. He knows that not many women would comply with this kind of request from a stranger, but you did, so he thought you were down for whatever. That's why when you got there, he tried to take your pants off and called you a tease when you resisted.
Click to expand...

It's also potentially dangerous, safety first!
 
Ummm... I don't know Mischka. :look: I've been thinking about your posts and concern is tugging at my sleeve for you. Normally, I just keep it moving after I've had my say, but something is telling me to come back here and implore you to be careful.

MissJ really let you know the real deal and I hope you get it - it's just not a perspective.

My fear is that one day you'll disappear and it won't be because your $6.50 ran out and you didn't renew your subscription.

Your stories are cute and all and make a good read, but the reality is that you may be flirting with disaster. I hope you won't have to look back on this thread with regret.

For me it's not about whether you're looking for a relationship or not, it's about the reality that it can be dangerous out there. We see it on the news more and more these days.

Carry on.
 
I have to admit...I clicked on this thread randomly and surprisingly became very entranced in your dating journey. I love the fact that youre an amazing writer and that i can almost imagine you going through each date with the details you provide. Your posts about your dates provides such a fun, unadulterated youthful view that I can't help but smile at each one...good luck with your quests! As long as you remain safe, you will be fine! You provide the true meaning of following your heart, which is what a lot of us forget to do.
Sent from my PC36100 using PC36100
 
OMG I just read the WHOLE first page....I have a super short attention span, lol.....I usually skip all over people's posts, but something about the way you're writing these.....it's engaging and interesting! I wish I could be so uninhibited like you, lol. I'm dating 2 guys right now, and I just am not as free-spirited as you! TEACH ME YOUR WAYS!
 
OK, I finished the other 3 pages, and I am still hooked! I DO think some are kind of overreacting and analyzing about what you're doing.........okay, so S or Farrell may necessarily not be looking for a long term relationship, and you're not either so?! AND? I fail to see the point? I mean, isn't that what dating is, as you said?

Because I'm into dating right now as well, and I also don't want a long term, super serious relationship or an *** buddy or a husband......I'm just dating for fun! I'm young and single, and it's fun! I don't see the harm, lol. I swear I always thought that's what dating was? I hate how women all too often try to act like the sole purpose of dating is to land yourself a fiancée or husband. UM, NO? I'm 22 myself....I'm not ready for anything like that! How about dating around a bit, and see what's out there? So yeah, I think some women ITT are acting like you're trying to land yourself a serious boyfriend or hubby.......

That said, the only iffy thingy to me was going over to the dude you met from okcupid's apartment so sudden and soon.....that is truthfully risky for me personally, and I say this as someone who has a profile on okcupid. But if you feel safe with him then that is your decision. :yep:
 
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january noir said:
Ummm... I don't know Mischka. :look: I've been thinking about your posts and concern is tugging at my sleeve for you. Normally, I just keep it moving after I've had my say, but something is telling me to come back here and implore you to be careful.

MissJ really let you know the real deal and I hope you get it - it's just not a perspective.

My fear is that one day you'll disappear and it won't be because your $6.50 ran out and you didn't renew your subscription.

Your stories are cute and all and make a good read, but the reality is that you may be flirting with disaster. I hope you won't have to look back on this thread with regret.

For me it's not about whether you're looking for a relationship or not, it's about the reality that it can be dangerous out there. We see it on the news more and more these days.

Carry on.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the concern, sis. I'm going to be more careful in general so that I don't get myself murdered out there lbs :yep:

Now then, I will continue this post but I have to say, if there becomes an abundance of nasty for the sake of nastiness, attention-seeking comments, I will stop sharing. It's one thing to have an opinion and it's another to force said opinion on me when I have already explained why certain views are ones that I will not adopt. If you live your life by certain rules, and if certain things make you feel certain ways, fine, but I'm not with the whole idea of taking my words out of context or framing things in a way to change my views to ones that I don't hold. And additionally, I won't allow the internet to be used in such a way for people to talk to me in ways that I wouldn't allow them to talk to me irl. So for those of you who are getting all riled up

CHILL OUT.

Just bring it down like, ONE notch. It's not your life. Don't feel some kinda way about it :lol:


 
So a couple weeks ago, it was my friend Jeremy's birthday. As usual we headed to the bar to celebrate. At this point, I had a crush on this other guy, and I was excited to see him there. Until I quickly realized... he'd brought a date! D'oh!

Now what am I supposed to do all night? :lol: So I nursed my drink and had casual, friendly conversation with other friends there, wondering how much longer I'd hang around until I got bored enough to call the shuttle. At this point, Jeremy and a third guy (who is gay) and I are hanging around talking. Jeremy is an international student from Korea and he speaks somewhat broken English. He kind of talks like he doesn't have any teeth. So my subdued mood is somewhat lifting by now because they're both cracking me up so much.

Before the party, there was a conversation on facebook about the gay guy giving Jeremy a birthday kiss. So we started pressuring them to kiss (I took a picture of this) and afterward, Jeremy wanted to lean over the table to kiss me, so I let him. He totally slipped me the tongue. After that for the rest of the night, Jeremy jokingly but not really asked if we'd be going home together. I knew he wasn't really kidding because at one point he was kind of standing leaning against my leg as I sat and I could tell he had an erection. But after I saw the guy I had a crush on leave with his date, I threw in the towel and went home.

After that, Jeremy and I started to talk online. We'd talk more or less everyday but he seemed primarily interested in only discussing school. If I tried to change the subject to ANYTHING else, any other interest, he'd give monosyllabic responses or say that he didn't know. But he could talk for a half hour about the public health program at the University of Minnesota. Not wanting to dismiss him for these shallow reasons, I invited him to the bar one night. It was kind of fun, kind of awkward, we shared a plate of fries (omg so good) and he'd walked me back home.

Now I mention all this to say, remember the night that I met Farrell we were standing at the bar at last call? While we stood there, Jeremy also stood, obstinately and blocking the way, like he couldn't believe/disapproved of/or intended to stop us from leaving :lol: We hadn't talked much that night (because before I met Farrell I spent the whole night flirting with a different guy) and now he was standing there like he couldn't believe I was going to leave not-alone.

The next day, he'd changed his profile pic on facebook and when I went to go look at it, I noticed I couldn't - he'd put me on his limited profile :blush: :lol:. I instant messaged him, and he didn't respond. I tagged him to a status and he ignored me and untagged it. I haven't seen him at school again yet, but I'm wondering if I lost myself a friend here.... :lol:
 
Well, you've been walled by Jeremy, S is a douchebag, Farrell seems nice, and Landry seems...temperamental with a touch of bratty.

It would be fun to see what's eating Jeremy, do you like Jeremy?

And after all of this derailment, are comments and questions allowed?
 
Yeah, it's fine. Jeremy's mad at me :sad: I would totally date him so that kind of sucks. Once I realized he was playing all these passive aggressive games with the internet, I just deleted him from my profile. I'm going to talk to him if we run into each other. I'm having a party for graduation and I really want him to come (since it was something we'd already talked about and stupid stuff shouldn't come in the way of at least being friends and whatnot.)
 
Hopefully, Jeremy will have a change of heart. I can't see why he would react the way he did being that he hasn't (I assume) staked a claim or made his feelings known.
 
Just to make sure I understand, everything happened with Jeremy before meeting Farrell, then Jeremy started acting stupid after the night you left with Farrell. Sorry I'm a little slow:perplexed Definitely subbing, just making sure I don't get the story confused.
 
Mmmk... so here is where we are now...

Landry texted me this past Saturday to go to (yet another) birthday party. A.) It was in a far away neighborhood and b.) though technically I wasn't not invited, I wasn't personally invited either. Though Landry would be driving, after he asked if I was going and I said simply "wasn't invited," he basically said, "yeah I don't know if I'll go either but if not I'll be watching UFC blah blah blah" basically either way, if I wanted to hang out with him to speak up. I wasn't really in the mood to be bothered, so I didn't reply. Of course, somewhere during all this is when I had the fb conversation with Farrell and ended up spending the entire day with him instead. So, that was fortuitous non-planning in the end. (By the way, I saw party pics on facebook the next day and I was glad I didn't go, because there was really no one I liked there...)

I saw Jeremy at school yesterday. He was across the lobby studying. I stood further away but I saw him look up at me. I waved... he paused for about 30 seconds and then looked back at his books. Mmmk.

I mentioned before I met Farrell I spent the whole night flirting with a different guy. I know this guy from school but until that night I'd never really talked to him. There was a bit of touchy feeliness going on - hand on the arm, hand on the leg, hand in the hair (mine in his :look: :lol: I do too much :lol:). When I saw him yesterday I was coming in with sunglasses on. I could have ignored him, but I looked over and he did an uncomfortable double take, the kind where you both know you saw each other but if they don't say anything first you'll pretend like you didn't. I waved, he waved. After class as he was leaving, he stopped to make a funny little face at me (kind of like poking out the tongue nanny-nanny-boo-boo) and then smiled. Now, random flirting at a party is too tenuous a grip for me to show any further interest - it's grasping a bit at straws too much. So I really have no moves on that one, I'll wait it out to see if he does anything else, but I'm in the shadows on that one. He is awfully cute, though.

A guy who I met during my short tenure at POF texted me the other day. We were supposed to meet about 2 weeks ago, but he lives in the burbs and wouldn't have had anywhere to sleep in the city had he come out that night. He kept saying this over and over as though he expected me to offer my couch. I did not. He's a Jewish kid who is studying the same thing as I am, and I was gonna give it a shot mostly because he's 6'4. But it got a little too convoluted, and I don't think I'll follow up now. His recent text wanted to attempt another meeting, but I just let it go without reply.

I don't know if I'm going out this weekend. The events I've described so far all happened within the past month, and that's a lot of excitement for my boring, lazy bookworm life. Plus I got a good rhythm with the gym going and drinking and partying on weekends always messes it up. So I don't know. We'll have to see what, if anything, comes up...
 
mischka said:
I saw Jeremy at school yesterday. He was across the lobby studying. I stood further away but I saw him look up at me. I waved... he paused for about 30 seconds and then looked back at his books. Mmmk.
Click to expand...

Ugh, Jeremy comes off as a sour puss. Gets the side eye, big time from me.
 
Did you post threads like this over at Lipstick Alley or did you save them for your new membership at LHCF?
 
mischka said:
The next day, he'd changed his profile pic on facebook and when I went to go look at it, I noticed I couldn't - he'd put me on his limited profile :blush: :lol:. I instant messaged him, and he didn't respond. I tagged him to a status and he ignored me and untagged it. I haven't seen him at school again yet, but I'm wondering if I lost myself a friend here.... :lol:
Click to expand...
You mentioned Jeremy was from Korea. Is he traditional or cosmopolitan? Maybe he saw that kiss as more because of his background. I think you should talk to him... not date him because I couldn't deal with all that... but talk to him to clear the air.

So what happened with the Jewish guy that made it so convoluted?
 
Girl, I'ma have to ask you to get a life at this point. You're on my bra strap a little too hard. I don't wanna be friends with you k? :wave: and say hi to my ignore list while you're at it.
 
princessnad said:
You mentioned Jeremy was from Korea. Is he traditional or cosmopolitan? Maybe he saw that kiss as more because of his background. I think you should talk to him... not date him because I couldn't deal with all that... but talk to him to clear the air.

So what happened with the Jewish guy that made it so convoluted?
Click to expand...
I don't know much about how his background informs his views. I don't think he had any illusions about there being more going on than there was... I think mostly he's just being a brat. He's known for defriending people on facebook for stupid stuff. So I think he just expected me to play along with it and beg him to be my friend again, but I didn't. You wanna freeze me out? Ok, I'm gone. But I do plan on confronting him eventually.

re: the Jewish guy. It was mostly that it was dragging out, and there wasn't that big of a spark there to begin with. And plus, he wanted to do a bit too much. Like he'd talked about going grocery shopping together and cooking dinner... or having a picnic and other such excessively romantic stuff. Plus, for all intents and purposes he didn't really have anywhere to live - I think he still lived with his parents, or at least was temporarily. It got too convoluted having to work around him not being in the city.
 
MissJ said:
Did you post threads like this over at Lipstick Alley or did you save them for your new membership at LHCF?
Click to expand...

Does it matter where she posts it? Can't we just enjoy the stories? This why people are afraid to share information with the board b/c there is always some who wants to "go hard" against them.


Mischka, I'm really enjoying the stories. I always love the hear how black women are navigating the dating world and I like to see stories where black women aren't the "undesirable" women that the media takes us to be.
 
LovelyPiratess said:
Does it matter where she posts it? Can't we just enjoy the stories? This why people are afraid to share information with the board b/c there is always some who wants to "go hard" against them.


Mischka, I'm really enjoying the stories. I always love the hear how black women are navigating the dating world and I like to see stories where black women aren't the "undesirable" women that the media takes us to be.
Click to expand...

Thank all you guys who have posted encouraging words :yep: :hug:

I want to share because I know the way I approach dating isn't necessarily common... less so, I'm learning, amongst AA women for some reason. So, it's a way to give a look into a different way of doing things, maybe to improve understanding or insight into pros/cons that can be implemented (or pruned) from one's own life... And, I know there may be women out there who wish they could try a different approach but don't really know what it's like. So, I'm here to be an example and show that kind of it's okay to feel that way... I know if you feel a certain way and don't see any examples of it around you you discourage your feelings or tend to think it's wrong... plus, I know before I started dating interracially I would have enjoyed reading something like this.
 
princessnad said:
You mentioned Jeremy was from Korea. Is he traditional or cosmopolitan? Maybe he saw that kiss as more because of his background. I think you should talk to him... not date him because I couldn't deal with all that... but talk to him to clear the air.

So what happened with the Jewish guy that made it so convoluted?
Click to expand...



If he saw her kiss as more he would have to see the kiss he had with that man as more to right? hmmmmmm :lol:
 
LovelyPiratess said:
Does it matter where she posts it? Can't we just enjoy the stories? This why people are afraid to share information with the board b/c there is always some who wants to "go hard" against them.


Mischka, I'm really enjoying the stories. I always love the hear how black women are navigating the dating world and I like to see stories where black women aren't the "undesirable" women that the media takes us to be.
Click to expand...

Girl get outta my head.:yep:

I love this thread Mischka. I've subbed it.:yep:
 
For those who don't agree with Mischka's spin on dating it is easy enough to just skip over the thread:yep: i know for me i avoid threads and topics that I either don't agree with or have any interest in.

I hope you keep posting mischka, there are some of us who are enjoying your stories. Have fun and be safe:yep:
 
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