Amour
Well-Known Member
Re: Marreid Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
Married Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
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divinefavor
Well-Known Member
Re: Marreid Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
Wonderful post!!!
This is long and I could go on, but I think this is sufficient.
Let me see what I have learned from my own experiences and from other women...
No marriage is a cake walk and for those women you meet who tell you that marriage is perfect and they have the perfect husband, be leery of listening to any advice they have to offer. Usually, the perfect ones have the most problems. Before you make the final decision to get married, remember, it is not a game of playing house and then you put the dolls away. Marriage is real and be sure you are ready to take your relationship seriously. It goes beyond the beautiful gown, the guests, and wedding gifts. Once the wedding and honeymoon is over, reality sets in. Again, before you make the decision to get married, make sure it is a challenge that you are willing to act on and accept.
ALWAYS STAY PRAYED UP!!! Annoint your home and your family. Always pray for him, yourself, and your children and ask God to show you how to be a good and loving wife and ask him to show you how to love him the way that he does.
Be supportive and respectful. Men need to feel like you have their back and are willing to nudge them when necessary. Always give them compliments. For some reason, men need their egos stroked. Sometimes you feel like you are talking to one of your children when you keep saying, "Good job honey, I'm so proud of you." They need positive affirmation.
Don't put your spouse down in front of people. For example, if he cannot follow directions, don't say, "X is such an idiot and cannot follow simple directions." Even if he is clueless about doing something, just build him up and don't tear him down. When you are alone, he will thank you for it and beam like a million stars.
Giving him respect is vital. That does not mean giving him a license to abuse you. Basically, you need to give him unconditional love and confront the bad behavior. Communicate respectfully! You will get farther in your relationship when you speak in a respectful versus angry tone. If you don't, he will shut you out.
Think before you speak. Everything does not deserve an argument. So what if he left his clothes strewn across the floor. Although it is hard for us not to sweat the small stuff, soon you will realize it is worth it in the end.
Choose your listening ears carefully. No matter how bad an argument went, it does not mean you need to share it will everyone. Yeah, we all need to vent at some point or another. Always align yourself with positive energy and positive friends who will give you the best advice. Remember, misery loves company. Keep your family out of your business. Long after you make up with your spouse, your mother or father may hold what he did to you against him.
Independence One of our biggest problems as women is that we can be too independent and think we don't need a man for everything. Men like that, but at the same time, they want to feel like you need them in your life. Sometimes we have to take a step back and let him do some things for us.
Don't get too comfortable. Look your best for your man.Sometimes women think because they are married, they don't have to look their best most of the time. Yeah, we have some bad days but everyday is not your worst day. Remember, your man will see beautiful women at work, women who have taken the time to look great for the office. Then he leaves you in the morning and comes back that afternoon to see you looking unkempt. Ummmm.... Give him a great portrait to remember, because there is always someone prettier than you. No one is saying that you have to look like a model everyday you leave the house, but don't look like a dusty old wife. What you did to get him is what you need to continue doing to keep him.
If you do not learn anything else from this thread, do remember that, "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." Proverbs 14:1
Wonderful post!!!
divinefavor
Well-Known Member
Re: Marreid Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
So very true!!!
This is really important! Before I got married my grandma, mom and aunts all told me this. It is VERY important!
Whenever you talk ish about each other in public you are exposing the vulnerabilities of your marriage. A marriage should be like a military armory. Only select people are welcome, only during certain times for certain reasons, high-security and tough-screening. You wouldn't tell people what time the armory guards do a change in shift, hours when the armory is unmanned, the code to the safe...and as such should you treart your marriage.
I have an acquaintance who does this and I don't think we are close enough to talk about this. Maybe I'll muster the guts to bring it up to her. She is always talking about how DH mishandles finances, how he isn't clean
You know what, she's lucky I am a principled woman, a married woman and a woman who has no interest in her man. I could run a number on them in a heartbeat! She has given all this info up, so all I would have to do is stroke his ego to the utmost. And throw in a whole bunch of - "well, if I had a man like you, I would____." And say, I think your family is so warm and a whole bunch of other stuff. All he would need would be a moment of weakness.
Do you know how many affairs begin with a seemingly innocent comment of affirmation where the spouse has failed? Guard your marriages!
So very true!!!
andrea
New Member
Re: Marreid Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
I have only made it through page 2.. However, I see a lot of mistakes I have already made in just a few relationships that were staring me in the face.. Hmm. Some women wonder why a man is with simple woman.. They may be simple to us.. However, they have the golden rules of what a man wants down to a tea. Piece and Peace and Food.. I am kicking myself.. This is great.. Off to subscribe and read the other 6 pages..
ETA: This has to be one of the best threads I have ever read.. Boy all the years of $6.50.. well 5.00 in the beginning will never be enough for this info.. Where was this info at a 2 years ago.. J/k.. Things happen in the lords time and for a reason. At least that is what my g-ma says...
Thank you ladies..
I have only made it through page 2.. However, I see a lot of mistakes I have already made in just a few relationships that were staring me in the face.. Hmm. Some women wonder why a man is with simple woman.. They may be simple to us.. However, they have the golden rules of what a man wants down to a tea. Piece and Peace and Food.. I am kicking myself.. This is great.. Off to subscribe and read the other 6 pages..
ETA: This has to be one of the best threads I have ever read.. Boy all the years of $6.50.. well 5.00 in the beginning will never be enough for this info.. Where was this info at a 2 years ago.. J/k.. Things happen in the lords time and for a reason. At least that is what my g-ma says...
Thank you ladies..
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Re: Marreid Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
Great post
This is awesome advice!
The underlined is especially true. I have friends that do this with their SO's. Everytime they talk about the relationship- it's what he's done something wrong. Big mistake, because your friends and family members will always have your interests at heart, and when you continuously present him as the adversary- you make him look like a loser and you make yourself look like the fool for staying with him. If in a 7 day week, he messes up one day, and that happens to be the day you call me to "vent" Then every week I get a dose of why he's no good, when there are 6 days when he's Mr. Wonderful.
Great post
This is long and I could go on, but I think this is sufficient.
No marriage is a cake walk and for those women you meet who tell you that marriage is perfect and they have the perfect husband, be leery of listening to any advice they have to offer. Usually, the perfect ones have the most problems. Before you make the final decision to get married, remember, it is not a game of playing house and then you put the dolls away. Marriage is real and be sure you are ready to take your relationship seriously. It goes beyond the beautiful gown, the guests, and wedding gifts. Once the wedding and honeymoon is over, reality sets in. Again, before you make the decision to get married, make sure it is a challenge that you are willing to act on and accept.
ALWAYS STAY PRAYED UP!!! Annoint your home and your family. Always pray for him, yourself, and your children and ask God to show you how to be a good and loving wife and ask him to show you how to love him the way that he does.
Be supportive and respectful. Men need to feel like you have their back and are willing to nudge them when necessary. Always give them compliments. For some reason, men need their egos stroked. Sometimes you feel like you are talking to one of your children when you keep saying, "Good job honey, I'm so proud of you." They need positive affirmation.
Don't put your spouse down in front of people. For example, if he cannot follow directions, don't say, "X is such an idiot and cannot follow simple directions." Even if he is clueless about doing something, just build him up and don't tear him down. When you are alone, he will thank you for it and beam like a million stars.
Giving him respect is vital. That does not mean giving him a license to abuse you. Basically, you need to give him unconditional love and confront the bad behavior. Communicate respectfully! You will get farther in your relationship when you speak in a respectful versus angry tone. If you don't, he will shut you out.
Think before you speak. Everything does not deserve an argument. So what if he left his clothes strewn across the floor. Although it is hard for us not to sweat the small stuff, soon you will realize it is worth it in the end.
Choose your listening ears carefully. No matter how bad an argument went, it does not mean you need to share it will everyone. Yeah, we all need to vent at some point or another. Always align yourself with positive energy and positive friends who will give you the best advice. Remember, misery loves company. Keep your family out of your business. Long after you make up with your spouse, your mother or father may hold what he did to you against him.
Independence One of our biggest problems as women is that we can be too independent and think we don't need a man for everything. Men like that, but at the same time, they want to feel like you need them in your life. Sometimes we have to take a step back and let him do some things for us.
Don't get too comfortable. Look your best for your man.
If you do not learn anything else from this thread, do remember that, "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." Proverbs 14:1
This is awesome advice!
The underlined is especially true. I have friends that do this with their SO's. Everytime they talk about the relationship- it's what he's done something wrong. Big mistake, because your friends and family members will always have your interests at heart, and when you continuously present him as the adversary- you make him look like a loser and you make yourself look like the fool for staying with him. If in a 7 day week, he messes up one day, and that happens to be the day you call me to "vent" Then every week I get a dose of why he's no good, when there are 6 days when he's Mr. Wonderful.
A.Marie
Well-Known Member
Re: Marreid Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
I love your analogy and will have to start using this line when I talk to other women.
This is really important! Before I got married my grandma, mom and aunts all told me this. It is VERY important!
Whenever you talk ish about each other in public you are exposing the vulnerabilities of your marriage. A marriage should be like a military armory. Only select people are welcome, only during certain times for certain reasons, high-security and tough-screening. You wouldn't tell people what time the armory guards do a change in shift, hours when the armory is unmanned, the code to the safe...and as such should you treart your marriage.
I have an acquaintance who does this and I don't think we are close enough to talk about this. Maybe I'll muster the guts to bring it up to her. She is always talking about how DH mishandles finances
You know what, she's lucky I am a principled woman, a married woman and a woman who has no interest in her man. I could run a number on them in a heartbeat! She has given all this info up, so all I would have to do is stroke his ego to the utmost. And throw in a whole bunch of - "well, if I had a man like you, I would____." And say, I think your family is so warm and a whole bunch of other stuff. All he would need would be a moment of weakness.
Do you know how many affairs begin with a seemingly innocent comment of affirmation where the spouse has failed? Guard your marriages!
I love your analogy and will have to start using this line when I talk to other women.
envybeauty
New Member
Re: Marreid Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
Excellent post!!!
This takes practice and I try to extend some of this to other people (parents, siblings, etc.) in my life as well just to keep the peace. Not everything is worth arguing about, not everyone needs to be told about themselves in front of company, etc.
Excellent post!!!
This takes practice and I try to extend some of this to other people (parents, siblings, etc.) in my life as well just to keep the peace. Not everything is worth arguing about, not everyone needs to be told about themselves in front of company, etc.
This is long and I could go on, but I think this is sufficient.
No marriage is a cake walk and for those women you meet who tell you that marriage is perfect and they have the perfect husband, be leery of listening to any advice they have to offer. Usually, the perfect ones have the most problems. Before you make the final decision to get married, remember, it is not a game of playing house and then you put the dolls away. Marriage is real and be sure you are ready to take your relationship seriously. It goes beyond the beautiful gown, the guests, and wedding gifts. Once the wedding and honeymoon is over, reality sets in. Again, before you make the decision to get married, make sure it is a challenge that you are willing to act on and accept.
ALWAYS STAY PRAYED UP!!! Annoint your home and your family. Always pray for him, yourself, and your children and ask God to show you how to be a good and loving wife and ask him to show you how to love him the way that he does.
Be supportive and respectful. Men need to feel like you have their back and are willing to nudge them when necessary. Always give them compliments. For some reason, men need their egos stroked. Sometimes you feel like you are talking to one of your children when you keep saying, "Good job honey, I'm so proud of you." They need positive affirmation.
Don't put your spouse down in front of people. For example, if he cannot follow directions, don't say, "X is such an idiot and cannot follow simple directions." Even if he is clueless about doing something, just build him up and don't tear him down. When you are alone, he will thank you for it and beam like a million stars.
Giving him respect is vital. That does not mean giving him a license to abuse you. Basically, you need to give him unconditional love and confront the bad behavior. Communicate respectfully! You will get farther in your relationship when you speak in a respectful versus angry tone. If you don't, he will shut you out.
Think before you speak. Everything does not deserve an argument. So what if he left his clothes strewn across the floor. Although it is hard for us not to sweat the small stuff, soon you will realize it is worth it in the end.
Choose your listening ears carefully. No matter how bad an argument went, it does not mean you need to share it will everyone. Yeah, we all need to vent at some point or another. Always align yourself with positive energy and positive friends who will give you the best advice. Remember, misery loves company. Keep your family out of your business. Long after you make up with your spouse, your mother or father may hold what he did to you against him.
Independence One of our biggest problems as women is that we can be too independent and think we don't need a man for everything. Men like that, but at the same time, they want to feel like you need them in your life. Sometimes we have to take a step back and let him do some things for us.
Don't get too comfortable. Look your best for your man.
If you do not learn anything else from this thread, do remember that, "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." Proverbs 14:1
Transformer
Well-Known Member
Re: Marreid Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
A. Marie,
Absolute great post...all of it. You've stated almost everything I would say based on 31 years of marriage. There are just a few things I would add:
1. First do your "research" before marriage. His parents/relatives--ahh they are your's also after marriage. By no means do you have to kiss their behinds but you must decide on how you and YOUR SPOUSE TOGETHER will handle them if their is conflict.
2. You CANNOT change the basic personality of an adult male. If there is something that you don't like, again you need to decide whether you can tolerate this "flaw" for the next fifty years.
3. DO NOT DO EVERTHING in your marriage. Throw away all ideas of being SUPERWOMAN. Don't take his manhood--there are things he need to man-up and do, so let him. He CAN change diapers and do laundry also.
4. This has been covered a lot by other posters. Don't underestimate the importance of sex in a relationship. You can't emphasize the bolded above enough. I might never have hair to my knees because I refuse to wear a "head rag" to bed. Also, coomunicate and expect the same from him. I'm older and have always hated the concept of men wearing boxers around the house--especially to the dinner table. I told him thirty two years ago, I make the effort to put on at least jeans and and shirt, so can you- I don't use a "house coat", I dress as soon as I'm up!
5. NEVER pass up the opportunity to shut-up when talking to your girlfriends or family members about your spouse. Unless you're suffering from spousal abuse, keep everybody else out of a marriage issue that's just designed for two folks.
6. Finally, most arguments in a marriage deal with finances--can't help you much there, because hopefully you're both responsible people, can control impulse spending, and stick to the priorities you have BOTH set!
This is long and I could go on, but I think this is sufficient.
Don't get too comfortable. Look your best for your man.
If you do not learn anything else from this thread, do remember that, "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." Proverbs 14:1
A. Marie,
Absolute great post...all of it. You've stated almost everything I would say based on 31 years of marriage. There are just a few things I would add:
1. First do your "research" before marriage. His parents/relatives--ahh they are your's also after marriage. By no means do you have to kiss their behinds but you must decide on how you and YOUR SPOUSE TOGETHER will handle them if their is conflict.
2. You CANNOT change the basic personality of an adult male. If there is something that you don't like, again you need to decide whether you can tolerate this "flaw" for the next fifty years.
3. DO NOT DO EVERTHING in your marriage. Throw away all ideas of being SUPERWOMAN. Don't take his manhood--there are things he need to man-up and do, so let him. He CAN change diapers and do laundry also.
4. This has been covered a lot by other posters. Don't underestimate the importance of sex in a relationship.
You can't emphasize the bolded above enough. I might never have hair to my knees because I refuse to wear a "head rag" to bed. Also, coomunicate and expect the same from him. I'm older and have always hated the concept of men wearing boxers around the house--especially to the dinner table. I told him thirty two years ago, I make the effort to put on at least jeans and and shirt, so can you- I don't use a "house coat", I dress as soon as I'm up!5. NEVER pass up the opportunity to shut-up when talking to your girlfriends or family members about your spouse. Unless you're suffering from spousal abuse, keep everybody else out of a marriage issue that's just designed for two folks.
6. Finally, most arguments in a marriage deal with finances--can't help you much there, because hopefully you're both responsible people, can control impulse spending, and stick to the priorities you have BOTH set!
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changedlife
New Member
Re: Marreid Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
Great thread!
Great thread!
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jamaicalovely
Well-Known Member
Re: Marreid Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
This amazes me. I'm like fighting to accept this. I'm so opposite.
One more thing, men want sex, peace (hate drama, arguing, confrontation) and food. I promise if you do all of those things, make him feel kingly, they are just as happy as pigs in mud. They are just really simple creatures
After I got all of these things downpat, I have honestly never had problems in my marriage. It still amazes me how sex and good food can change the whole course of a man's mood, odd.
This amazes me. I'm like fighting to accept this. I'm so opposite.
This was meant for me.
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meecee
Well-Known Member
Re: Marreid Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
I haven't read through this entire thread yet, but I wanna thank each and every lady that has given advice. I have very few married couples in my life that would be able to offer this type of advice. So thank you ladies...may your marriages continue to grow in strength
I haven't read through this entire thread yet, but I wanna thank each and every lady that has given advice. I have very few married couples in my life that would be able to offer this type of advice. So thank you ladies...may your marriages continue to grow in strength
yokoyokogirl
New Member
Re: Marreid Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
This is some GREAT info ladies! Wow I really appreciate this post!
This is some GREAT info ladies! Wow I really appreciate this post!
Re: Marreid Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
I agree.
My ex-girlfriend would always tell me her and her husband didn't fight, argue and that they got along perfectly. He was indeed the perfect man and let her have her way. Well after she moved away my boss and coworker tells me how she caught her husband with her best friend, she was married to. An that was the 4th affair he had been caught in.
I remember thinking that she was a damm fool for letting her husband sleep in the bed with her friend. (Her friend is a nurse and would stay at her house often because she lived about an 30 mins away
erplexed) But she said he would never.....well I guess he did.
That friend is now married to a contractor friend of mine. She had an affair with him to.
I agree.
My ex-girlfriend would always tell me her and her husband didn't fight, argue and that they got along perfectly. He was indeed the perfect man and let her have her way. Well after she moved away my boss and coworker tells me how she caught her husband with her best friend, she was married to. An that was the 4th affair he had been caught in.
I remember thinking that she was a damm fool for letting her husband sleep in the bed with her friend. (Her friend is a nurse and would stay at her house often because she lived about an 30 mins away
erplexed) But she said he would never.....well I guess he did.That friend is now married to a contractor friend of mine. She had an affair with him to.
A.Marie
Well-Known Member
Re: Marreid Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
WOW is all I can say! See, that's why I don't invite "girlfriends" to my house. If you want to hang out, then we'll do lunch.
I agree.
My ex-girlfriend would always tell me her and her husband didn't fight, argue and that they got along perfectly. He was indeed the perfect man and let her have her way. Well after she moved away my boss and coworker tells me how she caught her husband with her best friend, she was married to. An that was the 4th affair he had been caught in.
I remember thinking that she was a damm fool for letting her husband sleep in the bed with her friend. (Her friend is a nurse and would stay at her house often because she lived about an 30 mins away
That friend is now married to a contractor friend of mine. She had an affair with him to.
WOW is all I can say! See, that's why I don't invite "girlfriends" to my house.
If you want to hang out, then we'll do lunch.
bamachic08
New Member
Re: Marreid Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
couldnt get over my ex...i slept with him after marriage
couldnt get over my ex...i slept with him after marriage
Re: Marreid Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
I promise it is true. You should try and be friends with some men and pick their brains. I found most of my info out via being friends with guys, and then dating.
I promise it is true. You should try and be friends with some men and pick their brains. I found most of my info out via being friends with guys, and then dating.
monami
New Member
Re: Marreid Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
this is so true. I am on going on my second year of marriage. sex...peace..food. that is about it. we women are so intense it seem unreal for it to be so simple. but it is what keeps my sexy husband happy...and me too
this is so true. I am on going on my second year of marriage. sex...peace..food. that is about it. we women are so intense it seem unreal for it to be so simple. but it is what keeps my sexy husband happy...and me too
longhairlover
New Member
sometimes i wish i hadn't done it and stayed single, i'm 1yr and half in and our personalities clash at times, but then other times we have fun and enjoy each other, it's a rollercoaster.
advice would be to make sure it's the right person but sometimes you never know until you are actually married to that person. i have issues with my mil that my hubby is too scared to confront,
but other than that i'd say patience, not to be petty and communication. spirituality is key too. i wish my hubby was religious or at least go to church read the bible something.
i thinkg a marriage with no spiritual foundation may fail or will be rougher in the beginning, i may be wrong but from my experience i think if he were spiritual things would be better.
advice would be to make sure it's the right person but sometimes you never know until you are actually married to that person. i have issues with my mil that my hubby is too scared to confront,
but other than that i'd say patience, not to be petty and communication. spirituality is key too. i wish my hubby was religious or at least go to church read the bible something.
i thinkg a marriage with no spiritual foundation may fail or will be rougher in the beginning, i may be wrong but from my experience i think if he were spiritual things would be better.
Butterfly08
New Member
Re: Marreid Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
EXCELLENT THREAD!!! Wonderful advice ladies!
thankyou:
EXCELLENT THREAD!!! Wonderful advice ladies!
thankyou:
Coffee
Well-Known Member
Re: Marreid Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
You really shouldn't blame your husband, you started off doing everything and when you got tired you expected him to know this. Don't start something at the beginning of your marriage and then expect your partner to know that you want change. Men aren't that bright!
You really shouldn't blame your husband, you started off doing everything and when you got tired you expected him to know this. Don't start something at the beginning of your marriage and then expect your partner to know that you want change. Men aren't that bright!
Re: Marreid Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
I have been married for over 5 years. Ok, so reading this thread tonight, I decided to give DH some couch "lovin" and OMG! He is changing the channel to whatever I want to watch, rubbing my feet, and following me into every room.
Keep speakin knowledge ladies!!!
I have been married for over 5 years. Ok, so reading this thread tonight, I decided to give DH some couch "lovin" and OMG! He is changing the channel to whatever I want to watch, rubbing my feet, and following me into every room.
Keep speakin knowledge ladies!!!
la' shebia
New Member
Re: Marreid Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
Some men aren't use to a good woman. I. agree put God first. And some men need to be
school to. Because all they have had in the past were no good women. Women don't
settle for this either.Marriage is what you make it. Respect each other, Talk out problems
Don't go to bed angry. A family that prays together stay together.When you get older, sex don't play out like when you are younger. you get set in a mood okay maybe or it okay if we don't. So don't think sex plays a role to win him over. And don"t be control in no form or fashion. Because it take all your self worth. All your dream and goal can go out the door if he is controling. meet each other half way.we are all not perfect either.what work for me may not work for you. I, praise my husband for things he do for me. I tell him he look good and smell good.He tell me things he like about me too. this works for me. But he's not perfect and i'm not either. We, both work at our marriage it not easy at times.I give him space.He give me space. Its give and take.......
Some men aren't use to a good woman. I. agree put God first. And some men need to be
school to. Because all they have had in the past were no good women. Women don't
settle for this either.Marriage is what you make it. Respect each other, Talk out problems
Don't go to bed angry. A family that prays together stay together.When you get older, sex don't play out like when you are younger. you get set in a mood okay maybe or it okay if we don't. So don't think sex plays a role to win him over. And don"t be control in no form or fashion. Because it take all your self worth. All your dream and goal can go out the door if he is controling. meet each other half way.we are all not perfect either.what work for me may not work for you. I, praise my husband for things he do for me. I tell him he look good and smell good.He tell me things he like about me too. this works for me. But he's not perfect and i'm not either. We, both work at our marriage it not easy at times.I give him space.He give me space. Its give and take.......
la' shebia
New Member
Re: Marreid Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
I've been married 1yr. and a half.
I've been married 1yr. and a half.
DarkHair
New Member
Re: Marreid Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
I've been married for ten months and this thread is the truth.
My DH and I have known each other for 8 years now and have gone through a lot. Since being married so much has changed. I couldn't say 'husband' for a while after the wedding. Our relationships outside of the marriage have changed, as they should. I don't talk about my relationship with my best friend now, like I used to. Even my relationship with my sister has changed. I am more defensive toward her when she comes out of her mouth wrong. I've had to school her and her DH about calling before coming over. Just because they don't have sex in their marriage, doesn't mean we don't. I've also had to cut her off for her comments regarding our sex life, 'bodily fluids' and how they are performing.
I agree with the prayer, peace, piece, food, ego. This reminds me that I need to go grocery shopping this week.
re peace, his family treats me different now. I used to complain ALL the time. He never saw it. Now, I just sit back and play my position and let their actions do all the talking.
re prayer, we take turns nightly praying aloud. We pray seperately and then jointly. Tonight we decided that Sunday nights we'd read the Bible together and have Bible Study.
re piece; I envy those who have sex more than twice a week. DH works more than one job (3) and is sooo tired. While my drive is ALWAYS a 10, his may be -2, I had to learn to let him rest. He is the head/provider/hunter/gatherer for our house and he needs his rest. Since I am not working at the moment, you best believe that this house is clean. If his clothes are on the floor, they are on the floor. Until he wants them properly placed somewhere, they'll stay where they are.
We had a discussion recently and the biggest point was that no marriage is the same. Tests and trials will come. In the end, each individual's actions determine the outcome of the marriage. You are responsible for your own marriage.
I've been married for ten months and this thread is the truth.
My DH and I have known each other for 8 years now and have gone through a lot. Since being married so much has changed. I couldn't say 'husband' for a while after the wedding. Our relationships outside of the marriage have changed, as they should. I don't talk about my relationship with my best friend now, like I used to. Even my relationship with my sister has changed. I am more defensive toward her when she comes out of her mouth wrong. I've had to school her and her DH about calling before coming over. Just because they don't have sex in their marriage, doesn't mean we don't. I've also had to cut her off for her comments regarding our sex life, 'bodily fluids' and how they are performing.
I agree with the prayer, peace, piece, food, ego. This reminds me that I need to go grocery shopping this week.
re peace, his family treats me different now. I used to complain ALL the time. He never saw it. Now, I just sit back and play my position and let their actions do all the talking.
re prayer, we take turns nightly praying aloud. We pray seperately and then jointly. Tonight we decided that Sunday nights we'd read the Bible together and have Bible Study.
re piece; I envy those who have sex more than twice a week. DH works more than one job (3) and is sooo tired. While my drive is ALWAYS a 10, his may be -2, I had to learn to let him rest. He is the head/provider/hunter/gatherer for our house and he needs his rest. Since I am not working at the moment, you best believe that this house is clean. If his clothes are on the floor, they are on the floor. Until he wants them properly placed somewhere, they'll stay where they are.
We had a discussion recently and the biggest point was that no marriage is the same. Tests and trials will come. In the end, each individual's actions determine the outcome of the marriage. You are responsible for your own marriage.
Katt73
Member
Re: Marreid Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
Cracking up at "couch lovin'" but I'm gonna give FH some today since he's been entertaining my family who were in town for Christmas...watch out now!
Cracking up at "couch lovin'" but I'm gonna give FH some today since he's been entertaining my family who were in town for Christmas...watch out now!
ScorpionQueen
Member
Re: Marreid Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
I will be married 6 years in March. The issues that we had in the early years were:
-we got married young so in addition to learning more about each other, we were still maturing as well
-too much togetherness..the honeymoon period lasted for a LONG time between us and we were inseparable...we did not do any hanging out with others without each other...bad, bad, bad..
-I like to get my feelings out in the open and nip stuff in the bud while my husband shuts himself off when he is upset. So whenever we had an argument, I had to talk about it right away and clear the air, while he just did not want to talk about it and wasn't going to budge until he was ready..
-in law drama..his family was kinda nosy in the beginning and got too involved. They felt like because he was young, they could butt in our business. They were very overbearing.
-my husband is a sports FANATIC. Boxing or UFC on Sat nights..Football from thursday to Sunday..And during March Madness, he had to see all that. Same thing goes for the NBA Finals and the World Series. He hates to leave the house when stuff is on. So we had to work thru that and compromise somehow.
Here is my advice based on what I've learned from experience in my marriage:
-don't worry about the petty stuff, most of it really is not that serious
-don't hold a grudge forever, it's not healthy for your marriage
-realize that a lot of men are clueless. The things that you get, they won't always get. It's like, to you, you will be like DUH! but the man will be totally oblivious.
-tell your husband exactly what you mean. Be very straightforward. Some men just need it laid out for them
-keep others out of your business. What happens is between you and your husband.
-maintain your autonomy and independence. Do things on your own or out with the girls sometimes.
I will be married 6 years in March. The issues that we had in the early years were:
-we got married young so in addition to learning more about each other, we were still maturing as well
-too much togetherness..the honeymoon period lasted for a LONG time between us and we were inseparable...we did not do any hanging out with others without each other...bad, bad, bad..
-I like to get my feelings out in the open and nip stuff in the bud while my husband shuts himself off when he is upset. So whenever we had an argument, I had to talk about it right away and clear the air, while he just did not want to talk about it and wasn't going to budge until he was ready..
-in law drama..his family was kinda nosy in the beginning and got too involved. They felt like because he was young, they could butt in our business. They were very overbearing.
-my husband is a sports FANATIC. Boxing or UFC on Sat nights..Football from thursday to Sunday..And during March Madness, he had to see all that. Same thing goes for the NBA Finals and the World Series. He hates to leave the house when stuff is on. So we had to work thru that and compromise somehow.
Here is my advice based on what I've learned from experience in my marriage:
-don't worry about the petty stuff, most of it really is not that serious
-don't hold a grudge forever, it's not healthy for your marriage
-realize that a lot of men are clueless. The things that you get, they won't always get. It's like, to you, you will be like DUH! but the man will be totally oblivious.
-tell your husband exactly what you mean. Be very straightforward. Some men just need it laid out for them
-keep others out of your business. What happens is between you and your husband.
-maintain your autonomy and independence. Do things on your own or out with the girls sometimes.
Loves Harmony
Well-Known Member
Re: Marreid Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
Ive will be married for 2 years come Jan. 29
What ive learned:
1) pick and choose battle
2) had to let go of drama friends
3) Keep parents(friends) out of our Business
4) Dont go to sleep mad
5) Learn how to give husband space.....( always wanted to be under him)
6) Be straightforward
Im still learning..... Marriage is no joke. Its a full time job.
Ive will be married for 2 years come Jan. 29
What ive learned:
1) pick and choose battle
2) had to let go of drama friends
3) Keep parents(friends) out of our Business
4) Dont go to sleep mad
5) Learn how to give husband space.....( always wanted to be under him)
6) Be straightforward
Im still learning..... Marriage is no joke. Its a full time job.
twilight80
Well-Known Member
Re: Marreid Ladies: What issues did you have in the early years of your marriage?
I wish my DH was that simple. He's a little too honest, tells me what's bothering him and doesn't care if he hurts my feelings.
But I'm also too sensitive when it comes to words too.
I wish my DH was that simple. He's a little too honest, tells me what's bothering him and doesn't care if he hurts my feelings.
But I'm also too sensitive when it comes to words too. ^^^^^ See, even dlewis knows what's up
My dh was like all mad because I hadn't cooked in like 4 days, he wouldn't say anything directly---just was mumbling about "kiddie food" I'd been making, you know quick stuff, tacos, hot dogs, etc.
Then last week, I told him I needed some gas, I was like "you're slacking on my gas" he said "yeah you're slacking too"
No mention of what I was slacking on
Dude hadn't got any in like 4 days. So that coupled with NO FOOD, shooot.....was liable to send him over the edge.
He's normally very sweet and gregarious......SO, I sent him some umm X rated text messages later that day and told him what was up for later, and he has been whistling, bringing me diet cokes when he comes home from work.
I'm telling, men are like simple, simple. Babies, men and dogs, simple creatures.
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