Married Ladies Random Thoughts

[tolly]

@scarcity21 I will discuss and express my reservations and if he chooses to still address the party, let the chips fall where they do.
Leaving home or asking him to leave wouldn't work in my circumstance. But this is just me. I am increasingly of the opinion that the social distancing can't go on indefinitely.
I am not necessarily giving advice, just what I would. I don't have very young children (mine are teenagers) and, I honestly can't say I would make the same decisions if I did.
Best wishes for you and your family.

 

[scarcity21]

Thanks ladies, I will have another conversation with him and I pray he comes to his senses.

 

[futureapl]

One of my close friends informed me that her husband recently cheated on her. I was crushed when I found out. I'm not sure why. I guess it is because I could've never imagined he would cheat.

Hearing this led to me having a long convo with my husband. I think we need to start coloring more often and communicate better.

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

One of my close friends informed me that her husband recently cheated on her. I was crushed when I found out. I'm not sure why. I guess it is because I could've never imagined he would cheat.

Hearing this led to me having a long convo with my husband. I think we need to start coloring more often and communicate better.

I’m so sorry. Are they separating?

 

[futureapl]

I’m so sorry. Are they separating?

No they are going to try and work it out. He told her that he felt emasculated by her.

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

No they are going to try and work it out. He told her that he felt emasculated by her.

Hmm. I have to wonder if that’s the whole story though. I hope they go to counseling.

 

[futureapl]

Hmm. I have to wonder if that’s the whole story though. I hope they go to counseling.

Agreed

 

[Fine 4s]

If you want to work it out - great, you want to leave - great.
All I hope for her is peace of mind however she gets it whether believing his excuse will get her there or not.

 

[Rocky91]

Men saying they feel emasculated=narcissistic potential abusers. He’s trying to redirect blame on her for his misdeed. She should run for the hills,IMO.

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

Men saying they feel emasculated=narcissistic potential abusers. He’s trying to redirect blame on her for his misdeed. She should run for the hills,IMO.

I am always suspicious any time a man says that he’s been emasculated.

 

[Sosoothing]

I am always suspicious any time a man says that he’s been emasculated.

This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. I detest when people blame others for choices they make. Even if he felt emasculated, there are many other healthy ways he could have coped. But he chose to cheat. HE made that decision. Completely Unacceptable.

 

[ClassyJSP]

Ya'll I love married life.

 

[Ganjababy]

Congrats

Ya'll I love married life.

 

[weaveadiva]

Ya'll I love married life.

This makes me smile. So happy for you, sis.

 

[jbwphoto1]

Ya'll I love married life.

It all comes down to who you chose to marry.

 

[Kanky]

I really like having my dh around all day working from home.

 

[PeaceFlow]

I really like having my dh around all day working from home.

Miss this. It was so nice.

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

I really like having my dh around all day working from home.

That working from home together started out rough for us. He wanted me for lunch all the time.

 

[PeaceFlow]

He has this piece of clothing that I want to rip accidentally on purpose and he has it on today.

I remember when my friends ex had a beloved hat that didn't suit him one bit. One time they went to a big party and he left the hat on a seat. She peeped it, but didnt tell him to pick it up. Acted all sympathetic like when he realised the next day

 

[Sosoothing]

He has this piece of clothing that I want to rip accidentally on purpose and he has it on today.

I remember when my friends ex had a beloved hat that didn't suit him one bit. One time they went to a big party and he left the hat on a seat. She peeped it, but didnt tell him to pick it up. Acted all sympathetic like when he realised the next day

I can't believe I'm admitting this but I once put an item of clothing of his straight into the trash. I first told him how much I disliked it. But I don't think he got the message. Or he did but wasn't too bothered. One day I saw it while doing Laundry and trashed it...Lol.
I told him a few weeks later and he just shook his head.

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

So 20 years into our relationship...14 years of marriage and the man seems to be turned on cause he was TODAY YEARS OLD when he realized I can actually sew.

He bought a sew kit 10 years ago and last week, asked if I was even able to sew his pocket that had a big but clean rip in the seam. I sat down and did it pretty easily. He saw how fast I threaded the needle and I saw him grin. Later on I asked what that was about and he said it turned him on. He said he didn't think I could. I asked why did he buy that kit. He was like he was just hoping I would try and sew some old underwear but being as I wouldn't sew the underwear, he said he just thought it was because I couldn't sew. I told him 1)....YOU can't even sew...so you tried it. 2) I didn't sew your underwear bc the holes were as big as your head and they needed to be trashed.

He told me he figured that's what I was doing (trashing them) because he couldn't find a few. Of course he assumed the laundry ate a few so I went on and confirmed his suspicions. His mom (RIP) used to buy him a bunch every Christmas so the poor thing had no idea. My husband was a bit of a coddled son ya'll.

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

I can't believe I'm admitting this but I once put an item of clothing of his straight into the trash. I first told him how much I disliked it. But I don't think he got the message. Or he did but wasn't too bothered. One day I saw it while doing Laundry and trashed it...Lol.
I told him a few weeks later and he just shook his head.

I trash hubby's stuff all the time. I have to do it behind his back bc if he sees me do it he swears I'm thinning out his wardrobe. I am but he has more clothes than me so he really doesn't know it.

 

[qchelle]

So 20 years into our relationship...14 years of marriage and the man seems to be turned on cause he was TODAY YEARS OLD when he realized I can actually sew.

He bought a sew kit 10 years ago and last week, asked if I was even able to sew his pocket that had a big but clean rip in the seam. I sat down and did it pretty easily. He saw how fast I threaded the needle and I saw him grin. Later on I asked what that was about and he said it turned him on. He said he didn't think I could. I asked why did he buy that kit. He was like he was just hoping I would try and sew some old underwear but being as I wouldn't sew the underwear, he said he just thought it was because I couldn't sew. I told him 1)....YOU can't even sew...so you tried it. 2) I didn't sew your underwear bc the holes were as big as your head and they needed to be trashed.

He told me he figured that's what I was doing (trashing them) because he couldn't find a few. Of course he assumed the laundry ate a few so I went on and confirmed his suspicions. His mom (RIP) used to buy him a bunch every Christmas so the poor thing had no idea. My husband was a bit of a coddled son ya'll.

Why do he think that people sew old underwear?!?

 

[mensa]

I trash hubby's stuff all the time. I have to do it behind his back bc if he sees me do it he swears I'm thinning out his wardrobe. I am but he has more clothes than me so he really doesn't know it.

My husband finds it hard to let go of his tattered undies too, lol!

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

Why do he think that people sew old underwear?!?

HE old chile....An old man in a younger-ish body. His mind ain't right.

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

Ion know where to put this: Trigger warning....SUICIDE.






My husband's best friend, college roommate, and god father to our daughters killed himself late Friday night.
We just saw him a month ago at my FIL's funeral. He came to my SIL's wedding, my MIL funeral, and all through college, he, hubby (while we dated), my roommates were all clubbing and partying together. We have an over 20-year friendship. We were even there when we got the call his first child was being born. She is 20 now. We were one of the first to hold her. He survived 3 heart attacks...a head on car crash, he found out a girl my husband grew up with, and he hooked up with in college had AIDS and other than a son from that union, he was HIV negative....its just been a LOT the last couple days. We all caught up last month and we KNEW he had a crazy lifestyle...and that he'd had several children out of wedlock...but after that day we learned he had another 3 kids amounting to 8. And that he REFUSED to have children within his own marriage. Not to mention he had a child that was 2. He and his wife have been married for 6 years. An AGREEMENT he insisted. The weekend has just been rough. We finally put together his last few moments and its really REALLY REALLY bad. Every relationship don't. We begged him to consider the fact that she may want kids of her own and he insisted she would know better. We begged him to reconsider that she may fight him on it. We learned not only did she fight him on it, but that they had already conceived by the time we'd seen him and she refused to terminate. His now-adult daughter threw her stepmother a gender reveal (that's how far along she is) and he threatened he wouldn't be around to raise the baby if they went through with it. They argued while she was at the restaurant ....he did a facetime call...when they picked up....he made good on it...in front of several people who saw him on the phone. He even left the garage door open....something he never does because they have luxury cars. He even opened his social media page for people to post messages on it....something he'd told me last month he'd never do, because I'd chastised him about that when I complained about wanting to leave a birthday message. I told him it had been like 3 years and that it was time to open it up to friends and family. My oldest was close to her "Uncle" and we haven't told her about his passing. She is still adjusting to her granddad passing last month....and still mourns her grandmother. I'm having to stay strong for DH. And he for me. We are up to hundreds and hundreds of messages....he did so much for EVERYBODY. A super dependable person. Dropped everything for my family as well. We are still just in so much shock. We suspect the pregnancy and the party sent him over the edge....but his brother says he's been depressed for a while. He had several weekends of vacation times planned with his wife and our other friends too. Rooms booked, flights and rentals all booked for weeks. Even the weekend he passed and this weekend coming up. I still don't understand. But I acknowledge I never will.

 

[futureapl]

Ion know where to put this: Trigger warning....SUICIDE.






My husband's best friend, college roommate, and god father to our daughters killed himself late Friday night.
We just saw him a month ago at my FIL's funeral. He came to my SIL's wedding, my MIL funeral, and all through college, he, hubby (while we dated), my roommates were all clubbing and partying together. We have an over 20-year friendship. We were even there when we got the call his first child was being born. She is 20 now. We were one of the first to hold her. He survived 3 heart attacks...a head on car crash, he found out a girl my husband grew up with, and he hooked up with in college had AIDS and other than a son from that union, he was HIV negative....its just been a LOT the last couple days. We all caught up last month and we KNEW he had a crazy lifestyle...and that he'd had several children out of wedlock...but after that day we learned he had another 3 kids amounting to 8. And that he REFUSED to have children within his own marriage. Not to mention he had a child that was 2. He and his wife have been married for 6 years. An AGREEMENT he insisted. The weekend has just been rough. We finally put together his last few moments and its really REALLY REALLY bad. Every relationship don't. We begged him to consider the fact that she may want kids of her own and he insisted she would know better. We begged him to reconsider that she may fight him on it. We learned not only did she fight him on it, but that they had already conceived by the time we'd seen him and she refused to terminate. His now-adult daughter threw her stepmother a gender reveal (that's how far along she is) and he threatened he wouldn't be around to raise the baby if they went through with it. They argued while she was at the restaurant ....he did a facetime call...when they picked up....he made good on it...in front of several people who saw him on the phone. He even left the garage door open....something he never does because they have luxury cars. He even opened his social media page for people to post messages on it....something he'd told me last month he'd never do, because I'd chastised him about that when I complained about wanting to leave a birthday message. I told him it had been like 3 years and that it was time to open it up to friends and family. My oldest was close to her "Uncle" and we haven't told her about his passing. She is still adjusting to her granddad passing last month....and still mourns her grandmother. I'm having to stay strong for DH. And he for me. We are up to hundreds and hundreds of messages....he did so much for EVERYBODY. A super dependable person. Dropped everything for my family as well. We are still just in so much shock. We suspect the pregnancy and the party sent him over the edge....but his brother says he's been depressed for a while. He had several weekends of vacation times planned with his wife and our other friends too. Rooms booked, flights and rentals all booked for weeks. Even the weekend he passed and this weekend coming up. I still don't understand. But I acknowledge I never will.

I am so sorry to hear about your loss.

 

[hopeful]

@naturalgyrl5199 sending you my condolences. I’m so sorry that you are hurting so much. It sounds like he was a very troubled man. And it doesn’t sound like anyone could have done anything to prevent what happened. Also, the pandemic has worsened mental illness for many. I’m so sorry for your loss.

 

[LivingInPeace]

@naturalgyrl5199 That's a lot. Sorry to hear this news. Hope you and your family stay strong during this crisis.

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

Thanks.
I am seeing hubby exhibit some signs of anger. As a gift, our friend gave hubby and some other friends a gold charm which is their University's seal. When he remembers to wear his necklace (which was a gift from me), he said he almost didn't put it on. He already felt like suicide was kinda selfish (no he doesn't understand and we are reading articles together) but now being that he had so many kids and the guys are calling MY HUSBAND in complete despair, he is very upset at his friend. I am not looking forward to this funeral. I mean big old burly guys just weeping hard on the phone.