Marriage is not for the weak. It can be hard and long suffering, but I'm of the mind that there should be more good times than hard times. The stretches of difficulty should not be longer than the stretches of peace, joy and happiness.
Married Ladies Random Thoughts
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Marriage is not for the weak. It can be hard and long suffering, but I'm of the mind that there should be more good times than hard times. The stretches of difficulty should not be longer than the stretches of peace, joy and happiness.
Brwnbeauti
Well-Known Member
Yeah I was like HOW!?.Dang the whole first 20yrs?!
tinkat
Well-Known Member
They are making it sound dreadful. There are tough times but I wouldn't say hard and long-suffering, that sounds like someone going through an illness. There are ups and downs but the good out weigh the "bad". Its all about perspective.
Crackers Phinn
Either A Blessing Or A Lesson.
The first 2 years were hard because I wasn't quite processing the "we" part of marriage the right way but years 3-7 have been a breeze. That's not to say we don't have conflict but I definitely would not use the words hard or long suffering. For 20 years? That's crazy. It could be that because we got married older that maybe there is a maturity threshold that sifted out a lot of problems that younger people had. Maybe those people counting 20 years are now my age and deal with things differently.
Crackers Phinn
Either A Blessing Or A Lesson.
The I only way I figure is from this meme.
*Originally by Robyn Harris but the yt's Columbused the joke.
Brwnbeauti
Well-Known Member
Several times I said “I don’t have the fortitude for -insert long suffering behaviors-“
Crackers Phinn
Either A Blessing Or A Lesson.
Did they give any examples?
Brwnbeauti
Well-Known Member
Many facets of struggle love.
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Crackers Phinn
Either A Blessing Or A Lesson.
Girl, you need to burn some sage around yourself after talking to them broads. Alladat is awful.
Brwnbeauti
Well-Known Member
So I get home, skipped the gym and everything, and I have my mouth ready for fruit snacks. Dh left the empty box in the pantry. Ima tape it closed and move it so he can feel what I felt 
So I get home, skipped the gym and everything, and I have my mouth ready for fruit snacks. Dh left the empty box in the pantry. Ima tape it closed and move it so he can feel what I felt
I thought only my DH did stuff like that.
Brwnbeauti
Well-Known Member
Nope. He does it with popcorn too. I have to go tape that box before he comes home tomorrow...
I thought only my DH did stuff like that.
Papoose
The Phoenix
I love ALL of this!!!
hopeful
Well-Known Member
Brwnbeauti
Well-Known Member
i left it in there for a week... he didn’t fall for itPlease let me know your dh's response when he finds that "empty" box.
Brwnbeauti
Well-Known Member
Dh wanted to argue last night. He gets in his feelings because my siblings aren't more "open" to him. Otoh he hasn't done anything to build a relationship with any of them, idk what he expects. And I honestly don't care.
hopeful
Well-Known Member
I don’t blame you! I wouldn’t care either.
Things likes this make marriage feel like a struggle to me.
1.Eating that last slice of pizza. Eating the leftovers without checking with me. I am the cook and I am a greedy foodie so I say who has rights to the leftovers.
2. Not unloading the dishwasher.
3. Putting everything in the wrong place when you do. Like come on, do you live here?! How many years is it going to take for you to know which utensils go into which drawer? It is not bloody rocket science.
4. Getting to the the TV and watching a program first. While I am in the kitchen slaving away at dinner.
5. Reaching the toilet first for a pee, when you get up in the morning to get ready for work and I am dying to pee.
6. Hogging the covers.
7. Hugging me when I am not in the mood.
8. Trying to have in depth conversations with me first thing in the morning when I have told you I do not like talking in the morning - not a morning person.
9. Touching me with their freezing feet at night when I am snuggled under the duvet/quilt.
10. Being nosy and up in my business. If I am gossiping with someone on the phone asking me who I was talking about.
11. Constant horniness and being stabbed in the back, thigh, side with an annoying member.
12. Having to try and fulfill conjugal duties when you live with mr ever ready and you are rarely ready.
13. Oh my gaawd. The worst most infuriating thing. Farting under the bedsheets! separate sleeping arrangements is seriously considered when that happens. But I noticed it is taken care of when beans are taken off the menu.
14. Every once in a while being told that I need to pay him more attention or give affection (code for sex). Or him being told the same (for me affection means affection and attention means attention). I always scratch my head and wonder how/when did affection and attention=sex?
15. Just being in my space EVERY freaking, single day.
Other times I am so glad that I decided to get married. Like
1. When you lose your job and you appreciate having 2 incomes so that you can fall back on his.
2. Having that one person who will always take your call, even if it’s just to say I cannot talk now I am in a meeting but I will call you back.
3. Someone to cook when I don’t feel like it.
4. Someone to be with me if I have to go to the hospital emergency department. It can be lonely when you have no one to go with you.
5. A constant ear to gossip and complain to.
6. Someone to take out your frustrations on (then apologize because you feel guilty).
7. Someone for hugs and cuddles.
8. A dining companion when you go out. I like eating out and it’s nice to have a constant companion on hand.
9. Someone who will (sometimes happily, sometimes grumpily) take you for a short holiday break on a whim.
10. Someone to vacuum.
11. Someone to wash the dishes, stack the dishwasher.
12. Sex on demand when I feel like it once per year.
13. Having another credit card to use when for whatever reason, you do not want to use yours.
14. Having SOME of his family members in your life because they bring positivity.
15. Someone who think you are a better cook than his mum. Though he would never admit to her but admitted it to me 10 years in.
16. Garbage.
17. Yard work. Lawn. DIY.
18. Fixing or replacing stuff in the house and car when they break down.
19. Sorting out the pool after every winter.
20. Being able to live in a house. If I was not married I would live in an apartment or condo. Less maintenance.
Next time I think of divorce I will look up this list.
Yeah I have too much time on my hands these days...
So I get home, skipped the gym and everything, and I have my mouth ready for fruit snacks. Dh left the empty box in the pantry. Ima tape it closed and move it so he can feel what I felt
1.Eating that last slice of pizza. Eating the leftovers without checking with me. I am the cook and I am a greedy foodie so I say who has rights to the leftovers.
2. Not unloading the dishwasher.
3. Putting everything in the wrong place when you do. Like come on, do you live here?! How many years is it going to take for you to know which utensils go into which drawer? It is not bloody rocket science.
4. Getting to the the TV and watching a program first. While I am in the kitchen slaving away at dinner.
5. Reaching the toilet first for a pee, when you get up in the morning to get ready for work and I am dying to pee.
6. Hogging the covers.
7. Hugging me when I am not in the mood.
8. Trying to have in depth conversations with me first thing in the morning when I have told you I do not like talking in the morning - not a morning person.
9. Touching me with their freezing feet at night when I am snuggled under the duvet/quilt.
10. Being nosy and up in my business. If I am gossiping with someone on the phone asking me who I was talking about.
11. Constant horniness and being stabbed in the back, thigh, side with an annoying member.
12. Having to try and fulfill conjugal duties when you live with mr ever ready and you are rarely ready.
13. Oh my gaawd. The worst most infuriating thing. Farting under the bedsheets! separate sleeping arrangements is seriously considered when that happens. But I noticed it is taken care of when beans are taken off the menu.
14. Every once in a while being told that I need to pay him more attention or give affection (code for sex). Or him being told the same (for me affection means affection and attention means attention). I always scratch my head and wonder how/when did affection and attention=sex?
15. Just being in my space EVERY freaking, single day.
Other times I am so glad that I decided to get married. Like
1. When you lose your job and you appreciate having 2 incomes so that you can fall back on his.
2. Having that one person who will always take your call, even if it’s just to say I cannot talk now I am in a meeting but I will call you back.
3. Someone to cook when I don’t feel like it.
4. Someone to be with me if I have to go to the hospital emergency department. It can be lonely when you have no one to go with you.
5. A constant ear to gossip and complain to.
6. Someone to take out your frustrations on (then apologize because you feel guilty).
7. Someone for hugs and cuddles.
8. A dining companion when you go out. I like eating out and it’s nice to have a constant companion on hand.
9. Someone who will (sometimes happily, sometimes grumpily) take you for a short holiday break on a whim.
10. Someone to vacuum.
11. Someone to wash the dishes, stack the dishwasher.
12. Sex on demand when I feel like it once per year.
13. Having another credit card to use when for whatever reason, you do not want to use yours.
14. Having SOME of his family members in your life because they bring positivity.
15. Someone who think you are a better cook than his mum. Though he would never admit to her but admitted it to me 10 years in.
16. Garbage.
17. Yard work. Lawn. DIY.
18. Fixing or replacing stuff in the house and car when they break down.
19. Sorting out the pool after every winter.
20. Being able to live in a house. If I was not married I would live in an apartment or condo. Less maintenance.
Next time I think of divorce I will look up this list.
Yeah I have too much time on my hands these days...
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PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
Cxshortie
Well-Known Member
I feel like if it isn't one thing, it's another. Everything is good one minute and the next the sky is falling. Hubby is upset I don't want to move again. So much feels like a battle with him, especially lately. He talks...I listen...I engage/ask questions...I try to talk to him and I get a frown and a shrug. If I tell him how I feel about sometime he does, he takes it as an attack. He has problems with me, I sit and I listen. Feeling exhausted with all of this.
I made him a meal for the first time today
The meat didn't actually go well (I haven't cooked pork tenderloin before and made a mistake) but the other elements were tasty. He was so appreciative at the gesture and thanked me quite a few times.
The cooking thing we never did together and has only started through my suggestion after we got married. Partially because I want to cut down on the tendency to get take outs/restaurants too much at the weekend. Now Sunday is new recipe day.
We also go to the gym 2-3 times a week now. I'm glad we are getting fit and healthy together.
The meat didn't actually go well (I haven't cooked pork tenderloin before and made a mistake) but the other elements were tasty. He was so appreciative at the gesture and thanked me quite a few times.
The cooking thing we never did together and has only started through my suggestion after we got married. Partially because I want to cut down on the tendency to get take outs/restaurants too much at the weekend. Now Sunday is new recipe day.
We also go to the gym 2-3 times a week now. I'm glad we are getting fit and healthy together.
Brwnbeauti
Well-Known Member
Dh has pissed me off. He accused me of not making plans regarding my profession, of being reactive.
Irl I can't plan because if his job says move, we move. Since we married -almost 7 years- we've moved 4 times. That's once every 1.75 year. How in the hades am I supposed to plan anything?
And how is it that he doesn't see this.
Irl I can't plan because if his job says move, we move. Since we married -almost 7 years- we've moved 4 times. That's once every 1.75 year. How in the hades am I supposed to plan anything?
And how is it that he doesn't see this.
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