Married Ladies Random Thoughts

@PeaceLover I dont know what gets into these men after the birth of a child. I will say that some of the most trying times in our marriage was after the birth of a baby .My husband was spoiled by his mom growing up and into his adulthood, so I’ve had to set him straight on a few things (though I enjoy catering to him in some areas, after childbirth is not one of those times).

Your mother in law was way over the line. I’m glad you let her know
 
DH was awesome after our boys were born. Part of that was bc I was in so much pain, I think he felt bad for getting me pregnant. I had a really hard, unusually long recovery both times so he was doing everything around the house with help from my mom. I can't imagine if he had expected me to be up cooking and cleaning during that time. My mom was also there to talk to him about what I was going through and how I needed my rest. We did talk before we had kids, about what my expectations were and how I wanted my husband to be a hands on dad, so I already knew going into it that he and I were on the same page.

Just wanted to add that, because it's not inevitable that your husband will be a jerk after you have a baby. Any man who loves you and cares about you should want you to rest and relax so that you can heal. If he sat there and watched you go through X hours of labor, he should not expect you to be out picking cotton the next day like our ancestors did.
 
Ganjababy said:
Men are burdensome. The ones I know anyway. I’m sure there are women out there who do not have to deal with these foolishness. If you are that person can you share. Pretty please?
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Aside from our adjustments to parenthood (and that’s been years ago), I don’t find mine burdensome. I find all relationships (even non romantic) take a bit of upkeep tho. It’s whether you’re happy to do it or not that makes the difference.
 
LivingInPeace said:
I don’t know if you were serious. But I’ll answer. My husband isn’t burdensome and I’ve never felt like marriage was hard work.
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I’ve said this before but I love your posts.

I think the only way to not deal with bs from men is to not tolerate it, period. All of this coddling of men, all of this be patient, and being understanding will get you got, and going over the same crap year after year is a waste of time and energy. All men aren’t babies, jerks, selfish, or immature.
 
And I love your posts. I always take note of your advice. No nonsense truth. Tapered with love.
hopeful said:
I’ve said this before but I love your posts.

I think the only way to not deal with bs from men is to not tolerate it, period. All of this coddling of men, all of this be patient, and being understanding will get you got, and going over the same crap year after year is a waste of time and energy. All men aren’t babies, jerks, selfish, or immature.
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Thanks for this. I and others from the responses I have seen feel for peacelover. No one should have to go through that at this time especially. I hope her DH comes round. But if he does not budge we are here for you @PeaceLover and will support you whatever actions you decide to take.
FoxxyLocs said:
DH was awesome after our boys were born. Part of that was bc I was in so much pain, I think he felt bad for getting me pregnant. I had a really hard, unusually long recovery both times so he was doing everything around the house with help from my mom. I can't imagine if he had expected me to be up cooking and cleaning during that time. My mom was also there to talk to him about what I was going through and how I needed my rest. We did talk before we had kids, about what my expectations were and how I wanted my husband to be a hands on dad, so I already knew going into it that he and I were on the same page.

Just wanted to add that, because it's not inevitable that your husband will be a jerk after you have a baby. Any man who loves you and cares about you should want you to rest and relax so that you can heal. If he sat there and watched you go through X hours of labor, he should not expect you to be out picking cotton the next day like our ancestors did.
Click to expand...
 
@Ganjababy I wish I had some advice to give you but you know your own circumstances better than anyone. My marriage doesn’t feel like work because my husband is an easy going, mature, mentally balanced, organized planner. Basically, everything I’m not. :lachen:What we do have in common is that we don’t like to argue. If there are things that the other does that bother us, we express it with no long drawn out discussion. Both of us annoy each other with petty issues that we recognize as petty. Neither of us is perfect and don’t claim to be. We both know that no one else would put up with us. I mean we have some quirks! I don’t think I could get along this well with any other man. Actually, I don’t get along with anyone as well as I get along with my husband. He’s the only person I know who I enjoy spending unlimited time with. We fit each other.
 
Things worked out for me and we are good now.
LivingInPeace said:
@Ganjababy I wish I had some advice to give you but you know your own circumstances better than anyone. My marriage doesn’t feel like work because my husband is an easy going, mature, mentally balanced, organized planner. Basically, everything I’m not. :lachen:What we do have in common is that we don’t like to argue. If there are things that the other does that bother us, we express it with no long drawn out discussion. Both of us annoy each other with petty issues that we recognize as petty. Neither of us is perfect and don’t claim to be. We both know that no one else would put up with us. I mean we have some quirks! I don’t think I could get along this well with any other man. Actually, I don’t get along with anyone as well as I get along with my husband. He’s the only person I know who I enjoy spending unlimited time with. We fit each other.
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Brwnbeauti said:
Dh threw his first tantrum this year today. We go to the movies, it’s sold out. He urges that I pick somewhere to eat - it’s 94 out and he doesn’t want to stand out while I decide. So I pick the first place. We get in and he’s like oh I thought you didn’t want this type of food anymore- it’s a sports bar- I let him know that he was pressuring me so I chose the first place. Then he clams up. The truth should not upset you. Now I’m sitting enjoying these cocktails and a nice steak salad and he’s off somewhere with his tantrum.
Whatever.
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sounds like he was on his man period
 
qchelle said:
We signed our contract this week and will be going to underwriting soon. Ryan homes build process is really stupid. They need to do a lessons learned or something so they can improve their process. Anyway. Our est completion date is dec 1. I've been on pinterest lol.

Now we in the process of getting a few things fixed in our current house. We want to rent it out. Our neighbor just moved and is renting his out. Lots of people have been coming to look at it. However, it is summer time...
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I built with them as well. Definitely, need to improve their process.
 
Brwnbeauti said:
@PeaceLover
you were right to ask her to stay out of your marriage. She didn’t come to you as a neutral party.
So glad my mil stays in her lane because ion know what I would do. May she always stay in her lane.
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My mother-in-law has never come out of her face to me about anything. Ever in the near 20 years we've been married. Similarly, I don't say anything to her about how she lives her life and my parents don't say spit to my husband. Everyone deals with their own blood when it comes to disagreements. That is the way we do things. We are probably both the favorites in our families and it just wouldn't end well.
 
Hold the line. Politely, firmly, even with a sweet smile if you must, but hold the line.

YOU are the one who literally endangered your life bringing a child into the world that has HIS last name. YOU are the one who now has to deal with the physical, chemical, and emotional toll this takes.

You can go out and get a job. He can't birth no babies. He needs to have some respect.

eta: sorry I just reread this and saw you said "don't quote"
 
Last edited:
Went to work today to start getting my classroom ready before school (and pre-planning) starts. When it was time to leave, my car wouldn't start! I called my hubby and he left work right away to come get me. It was sooo hot and he was dripping with sweat after replacing the battery. I am going to pamper him tonight...:kiss3::kiss4:
 
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