Married Ladies Random Thoughts

Miss617 said:
Thank you for checking on me. You are very sweet.

Things have been kind of up and down, but we're trying. I have some things I need to work through and he does too. My major challenge right now is balance and having time for my son while still working and going to school. His is working toward a career change. We'll see what happens.
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@Miss617 I hope things work out for you in whatever way is best for you. Take all the time you need to be sure of what you want to do. I will be praying for you that things work out for the very best.
 
Ms_Delikate said:
@Miss617 I hope things work out for you in whatever way is best for you. Take all the time you need to be sure of what you want to do. I will be praying for you that things work out for the very best.
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Thank you, I appreciate that. Unfortunately, I am not sure what's going to happen now because he is really pushing to have more kids and I don't see myself changing my mind. But he literally said to me this morning, "I want more kids, what can I do to make you want more kids?" And I told him he can't do anything because I don't want any more. If this is going to be a problem, he needs to go find someone else because I'm not having kids that I don't want for a relationship that might not survive the pregnancy.
 
Miss617 said:
Thank you, I appreciate that. Unfortunately, I am not sure what's going to happen now because he is really pushing to have more kids and I don't see myself changing my mind. But he literally said to me this morning, "I want more kids, what can I do to make you want more kids?" And I told him he can't do anything because I don't want any more. If this is going to be a problem, he needs to go find someone else because I'm not having kids that I don't want for a relationship that might not survive the pregnancy.
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Stand your ground and do what’s best for you. When it’s all said and done you will be glad you did. I’m telling you from what I’ve seen.
 
DH and I are in a really really bad place right now. I have been praying more than ever. I had just gotten to the point where I could talk without tearing up yesterday. I sent him a text asking if he was hungry and he said "No Thank You". That sent me back over the edge and I started crying again. I am laughing about it now because I am such a big baby, and I know he is a grown man capable of feeding himself, and half the time when I do cook for him, I don't want to, but just the thought of him not needing me to get him something eat made me soo sad. So weird. I need to man the *** up lol
 
IslandMummy said:
Don’t do it sis. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Nope nope nope. Go slather your uterus in birth control. Go find some pennyroyal leaves and brew a daily tea. Do not do it.

Go to school, work on being a better you and work outwards from there.

Tell him to get a fish.
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To the bold :lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen: and I definitely agree. @Miss617, if your heart says no then the answer is no.
 
Bad&Bougee said:
Where are you going @Miss617?
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Isla Mujeres, Mexico with my sister. About 20 minutes from Cancun.

Bad&Bougee said:
To the bold :lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen: and I definitely agree. @Miss617, if your heart says no then the answer is no.
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Yeah, I'm all set with having more kids with him. Not when we're still in limbo, struggling with DS and don't even have our own place. I don't know what crack he's smoking to even fix his lips to say such a thing.
 
Ladies, if it weren't for that crazy thang at the house (DH), I'm not sure how sane I would be. It has been a tough month for me but DH has been my constant and I am so thankful for him. He just let me BE. He didn't tip toe around me or get mad because I wasn't attentive to him or his needs, he "cooked" when he saw that I wasn't going by the kitchen that day, and regardless of how I looked going to work he would say, "You look good this morning, Babe." I know he was lying but it felt good for the moment and it was an attempt to at least start my day on a positive note.

I am so glad to be back and was able to work through the issues I was having. I hate being down and depressed because I am a happy go lucky type person. So this weekend I am going to treat him to a nice dinner and some drinks and let him pay. I think he will like that LOL!
 
Bad&Bougee said:
Ladies, if it weren't for that crazy thang at the house (DH), I'm not sure how sane I would be. It has been a tough month for me but DH has been my constant and I am so thankful for him. He just let me BE. He didn't tip toe around me or get mad because I wasn't attentive to him or his needs, he "cooked" when he saw that I wasn't going by the kitchen that day, and regardless of how I looked going to work he would say, "You look good this morning, Babe." I know he was lying but it felt good for the moment and it was an attempt to at least start my day on a positive note.

I am so glad to be back and was able to work through the issues I was having. I hate being down and depressed because I am a happy go lucky type person. So this weekend I am going to treat him to a nice dinner and some drinks and let him pay. I think he will like that LOL!
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Aww... (hug)
I hope February is a better month for you. I appreciate your demeanor. Your posts are always supportive and show concern in this thread.
 
Miss617 said:
Isla Mujeres, Mexico with my sister. About 20 minutes from Cancun.



Yeah, I'm all set with having more kids with him. Not when we're still in limbo, struggling with DS and don't even have our own place. I don't know what crack he's smoking to even fix his lips to say such a thing.
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You have no idea how jealous I am! That's really nice. Have a drink (or two) for me :beer:.
 
qchelle said:
We start our premarital counseling this month. I'm hoping we like our therapist; I'm sure she'll have good topics to initiate. But anything anyone recommend to bring up during counseling? How can we get the most out of it?
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I highly recommend a prepare-enrich program.
https://www.prepare-enrich.com/weba...aySecureContent.vm?id=pecv*home*homepage.html

When I took an MFT course, this model
was hands-down the best at predicting which marriages would succeed/fail. It provides couples with great tools to strengthen relationships and can even tell you what you don’t want to hear - that this coupling/relationship is a mistake to avoid.

A lot of people go into premarital counseling very resistant to hearing bad news. They have already decided that they are going to get married and nothing will change their minds. My advice is to keep a very open mind and be 100% honest.

The 4 horsemen of the relationship apocalypse are also very helpful. Couples
Who regularly do this and don’t improve on it almost always end up divorced or stay married but unhappy.

The four horsemen are:

Criticism
Contempt
Defensiveness
Stonewalling

I highly recommend reading about it. When DH and I were on the path to divorce/misery I could see these themes developing in our marriage. When DH especially became more aware of it things really changed.

https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-fo...cism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/
 
Farida said:
I highly recommend a prepare-enrich program.
https://www.prepare-enrich.com/weba...aySecureContent.vm?id=pecv*home*homepage.html

When I took an MFT course, this model
was hands-down the best at predicting which marriages would succeed/fail. It provides couples with great tools to strengthen relationships and can even tell you what you don’t want to hear - that this coupling/relationship is a mistake to avoid.

A lot of people go into premarital counseling very resistant to hearing bad news. They have already decided that they are going to get married and nothing will change their minds. My advice is to keep a very open mind and be 100% honest.

The 4 horsemen of the relationship apocalypse are also very helpful. Couples
Who regularly do this and don’t improve on it almost always end up divorced or stay married but unhappy.

The four horsemen are:

Criticism
Contempt
Defensiveness
Stonewalling

I highly recommend reading about it. When DH and I were on the path to divorce/misery I could see these themes developing in our marriage. When DH especially became more aware of it things really changed.

https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-fo...cism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/
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I read Silver & Gottman’s book 7 Principles. It was eye opening!
 
I hate living with someone and they interfere with my things. DH used to try my expensive shampoos and face creams. After several screaming episodes and threats I think he stopped.

I bought some apple cider vinegar for myself recently and noticed that it was going down faster than I was using it. Caught the man making a concoction with it - garlic, ginger etc. Talmbout he is fat and needs to lose weight.

He turned forty and immediately gained 20lbs. Dude is 6’2 and now weighs 90 kilos (I know that’s not really fat but he is used to being skinny and feels uncomfi) and none of his nice suits fits. He fat:lachen: I told him he lost a centimetre from his member. Now he is obsessed. But he does not overeat. I am enjoying his pain:look:

Now he knows what I go through lol. I am enjoying this. Except for the fact that if he does not go on diet he will need a whole new wardrobe...
 
Ganjababy said:
I hate living with someone and they interfere with my things. DH used to try my expensive shampoos and face creams. After several screaming episodes and threats I think he stopped.

I bought some apple cider vinegar for myself recently and noticed that it was going down faster than I was using it. Caught the man making a concoction with it - garlic, ginger etc. Talmbout he is fat and needs to lose weight.

He turned forty and immediately gained 20lbs. Dude is 6’2 and now weighs 90 kilos (I know that’s not really fat but he is used to being skinny and feels uncomfi) and none of his nice suits fits. He fat:lachen: I told him he lost a centimetre from his member. Now he is obsessed. But he does not overeat. I am enjoying his pain:look:

Now he knows what I go through lol. I am enjoying this. Except for the fact that if he does not go on diet he will need a whole new wardrobe...
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Idk why this is so funny to me!
 
We are having such a good time here, if it weren't for my son, I would never want to leave. Everyone staying at our hotel is awesome, especially the other pair of sisters. We rented a golf cart with them for the day yesterday and went around the island to Punta Sur (South Point) where there used to be a temple for the Mayan goddess Ixchel. It was gorgeous there. I'm glad we made it down there.
 
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