Married Ladies Random Thoughts

[locabouthair]

So sorry you're going through this @IslandMummy

 

[cinnespice]

Clicked on the thread by mistake but then I saw the post.
@IslandMummy sorry your going through this

 

[LeftRightRepeat]

i'm sorry to hear this @IslandMummy . *hugs*

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

Not at the moment. I REALLY would like to hurry up and have the D/C but I’m low priority on the surgery list unless I start hemorrhaging.

That’s what makes this time suck so much, I still look pregnant, and my numbers are still high enough to mimick symptoms. It’s a constant battle to remind myself that I am not actually pregnant anymore.

:hugs:
Can they not give you cytotec or something else to help things along? I had a missed miscarriage that first time and couldn’t bear to let things happen naturally. I also didn’t want to deal with a D&C if I could help it..

 

[Zuleika]

Not at the moment. I REALLY would like to hurry up and have the D/C but I’m low priority on the surgery list unless I start hemorrhaging.

That’s what makes this time suck so much, I still look pregnant, and my numbers are still high enough to mimick symptoms. It’s a constant battle to remind myself that I am not actually pregnant anymore.

I am so sorry sis. This is an awful situation to be left in; I can't imagine the emotional and psychological implications for you. I very much hope that this is resolved soon for you, even though the resolution itself may be very difficult to deal with.

Again, I am so sorry you are going through this.

 

[hopeful]

@IslandMummy
I’m so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. You deserve lots of love and support. Take good care of yourself, be kind and gentle to yourself.

I miscarried years ago and it was awful. My then dh was no help at all. Just wanted to act like nothing happened. I ended up becoming very depressed and had to take Zoloft for a few months until my hormones settled down and I’d had time to pull myself together. I had a natural miscarriage though so I cannot even imagine what it is like going through what you are experiencing. It’s a lot. Cry as much as you need to, talk it out, baby yourself, get all of the support you need and deserve. (((Hugs))) You will get through this. The best is yet to come. Hold on.

 

[IslandMummy]

:hugs:
Can they not give you cytotec or something else to help things along? I had a missed miscarriage that first time and couldn’t bear to let things happen naturally. I also didn’t want to deal with a D&C if I could help it..

I am one of the patients cytotec is an “absolutely do not give for any reason” because of my classical c section. She was going to order it for me but couldn’t. I have a script in case I do naturally miscarry to help curb the bleeding but that’s it. Her biggest concern is the placenta and me having natural contractions (why I can’t take the cytotec) to expel it.

 

[tapioca_pudding]

@IslandMummy warmest tightest hugs sis sincerely. Take the time you need to get thru this, forget what others expect. Dh may be trying to process this in his own way as well, men grieve over this loss just like we do, they just don't know how to help. But you take care of yourself and like @hopeful said, get the support and care you need.

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

I am one of the patients cytotec is an “absolutely do not give for any reason” because of my classical c section. She was going to order it for me but couldn’t. I have a script in case I do naturally miscarry to help curb the bleeding but that’s it. Her biggest concern is the placenta and me having natural contractions (why I can’t take the cytotec) to expel it.

Aww man, that sucks :/ But it makes sense. I really wish they could get you in sooner!

 

[Virtuosa]

@IslandMummy Take care you first, dawta. Let yourself have everything you need to heal.

 

[IslandMummy]

Thanks everyone, i try to not let it affect the kids because they don’t know what’s going on but he took my feigned attitude as the real deal and assumed I was over It? I assumed he’d know I wasn’t.

Lack of communication on both ends.

 

[sunnieb]

@IslandMummy please take care of yourself. I'm sorry, but you need to be selfish right now. I understand putting on a front for the kids, but dh needs to know exactly what you are feeling - and support you.

Yes, he lost a child too, but it's a different feeling when it comes to you. He's not the one carrying.

Hugs lady!

 

[divachyk]

@divachyk, Christmas is around the corner so I wanted to get my hug in before it's too late..........



I know the absence and emptiness is there but the love is too - - - let the love lead.

Thank you @Bad&Bougee -- truly appreciate it.

 

[PeaceLover]

I want to stab DH with a fork. I hate him right now.

 

[Dee-Licious]

Awwww @PeaceLover we not 4 hours Into the new year. ((Hugs))

 

[Bad&Bougee]

Don't stab him.......what happened?

 

[IslandMummy]

I want to stab DH with a fork. I hate him right now.

Just use the spoon

 

[Taleah2009]

Just use the spoon

Pass me a spoon too sis

 

[Taleah2009]

Hubby has been walking around all day giving me the silent treatment. I don’t even know why. Oh well. 2018 I’m not using my good energy on this behavior.

Currently taking a nice bath, scrolling the internet unbothered. And here he comes to use the bathroom to pee. Dude you were downstairs all day. There is a whole bathroom down there why come up here to pee. Just to see what I am doing

 

[PeaceLover]

Just use the spoon

 

[PeaceLover]

Don't stab him.......what happened?

I was just super annoyed with him. He decided to have a NYE kickback without consulting me first & his family stayed a couple days with us. His sister bought her dog (without asking us)that kept pooping/peeing everywhere. I’ve been having bad headaches, heartburn & trapped gas(preggo problems) so I just couldn’t. I believe I ate something that didn’t agree with me because my stomach was in knots. He claimed I could relax & he was going to take care of everything, but I knew that was a lie.

His folks kept calling me lazy & spoiled I was like Bruh you need to check them before I do it. Then he kept saying I was being antisocial by being cooped in the room most of the day. But I honestly didn’t have the energy. It was so many people over. I kept trying to get a nap, but his nieces/nephews kept knocking on the door and coming in my room all day. I was like dude do SOMETHING BEFORE I SNAP! He ended up getting into it with his sister last night because he actually realized that I couldn’t...he told them I was pregnant & sick so stop with the comments & stop coming in the room. However, his nephew (this little boy is terrible btw) barged in the room without knocking while I didn’t have on any pants. That sent him through the roof. DH snapped on the boy, his sister snapped on him so they argued. What a way to start the NY.

So basically he planned something without asking me if it was cool knowing I wasn’t feeling well. I’m so happy everyone is gone. Whew!

Honestly, I usually love kickbacks and I’m great at entertaining. But y’all...this baby recently started kicking my butt. DH didn’t know what to do without my help & he started getting stressed trying to do it himself. But whatever...

I also need to add that in his family being pregnant is not a valid excuse to relax. They take pride in saying stuff like “oh when I was pregnant I worked 2 jobs & did everything without complaining blah blah blah” like I give a darn. That’s where the lazy comments came in. They say he spoils me too much because I don’t have to work (I still work part-time, but I’m on vacation) & I’m always getting what I want. Like, so...

 

[scarcity21]

Baby stopped developing in the first trimester but the placenta is still in there doing it’s thing. Last time I miscarried naturally and I’ve had bouts of bleeding but nothing noteworthy this time. I’ve been exercising vigorously to see if I can get anything started but it just makes me nauseous and sleepy.

I hate being in limbo.

@IslandMummy im sorry to hear that. I'm going through an ectopic now and they've given me the methotrexate shot so now I'm playing the waiting game...Getting labs once a week until my HCG levels go to 2 or less

 

[sarumoki]

@PeaceLover If that were me, that dog and the nephew would've been locked outside and I don't care that it's 9 degrees right now where I'm at. Sick and pregnant and dealing with disrespectful relatives? Oh no. And hubby would've been outside right with them for letting them in my house in the first place while I curled up with a book next to a heater.

 

[Bad&Bougee]

Sounds like more than DH needed a good stabbin'.

Family can be so disrespectful! You weren't being lazy at all and even if you were........SO! And your DH should spoil you! As a Queen, that's how it goes. He provides a lifestyle that, obviously, others are envious of. Not your fault. They should mind their business. I'm with @sarumoki - to the COLD they go!! That situation is over but right now, the norm is not the norm and hubby needs to double check before he does anything that involves you in any way. Being pregnant is nothing to sneeze at I don't think DHs truly understand what that entails.

Your NYE was definitely memorable though! Take care @PeaceLover.

 

[Bad&Bougee]

Hubby has been walking around all day giving me the silent treatment. I don’t even know why. Oh well. 2018 I’m not using my good energy on this behavior.

Currently taking a nice bath, scrolling the internet unbothered. And here he comes to use the bathroom to pee. Dude you were downstairs all day. There is a whole bathroom down there why come up here to pee. Just to see what I am doing

I was going to say something but never mind. Your DH might not be as ridiculous as my DH.

 

[Farida]

DH had a "come to Jesus" moment on Christmas Eve. It always pays to marry someone who believes he cannot do better than being married to you and that is quite the privilege to have you. LOL. He has never believed me when I tell him if I were to die or leave him he'd be wifed up in no time.

I was so fed up and in the interest of my health I had decided 2018 was not the year I was not going to allow people to stress me out. But why wait till 2018? I started in Dec 2018. And he noticed I was just carrying on with life, doing me, while he was moping and feeling sorry for himself. I didn't really engage him in any conversation beyond what was necessary because I was sick of fighting and playing the guessing game. And then we went to our friends' and I know he was nervous they would sense something was up and they are not shy about calling him out because they consider him family. On Friday I could tell he was trying to get out of going. He started by claiming he was sick but he could not tell me what mystery illness he had. But on Saturday we went and then on Sunday he told me he was terrified I was going to leave him.

He was pretty much like he'd do ANYTHING. And not the "whatever you want" type of BS he was giving me before. I already see a marked difference in the way he is behaving and talking to me. We still have a lot to work on so I'm not going to assume things are awesome but at least we seem to be out of the rut for now. Unfortunately we are going to miss our next retrouvaille session because I have to have surgery (cannot change the date). So we'll see. We may stick with the same group and attend the next one or we may have to look for another retrouvaille group to join.

 

[Taleah2009]

I was going to say something but never mind. Your DH might not be as ridiculous as my DH.

Lol. What were you going to say?

 

[Bad&Bougee]

Lol. What were you going to say?

He probably came to the bathroom you were in just so you can see IT. My husband loves displaying it when we have an argument as if to say, "See what your are missing?" Put some clothes on foolish Man LOLOL!

 

[mrselle]

Hubby has been walking around all day giving me the silent treatment. I don’t even know why. Oh well. 2018 I’m not using my good energy on this behavior.

Currently taking a nice bath, scrolling the internet unbothered. And here he comes to use the bathroom to pee. Dude you were downstairs all day. There is a whole bathroom down there why come up here to pee. Just to see what I am doing

Lol. He probably wanted you to see that he was still ignoring you. Sometimes men are just as immature as children.

 

[Taleah2009]

He probably came to the bathroom you were in just so you can see IT. My husband loves displaying it when we have an argument as if to say, "See what your are missing?" Put some clothes on foolish Man LOLOL!

LOL LOL probably that too lol lol. He always comes in the bathroom when I am in there.