Married Ladies Random Thoughts

Thanks @Bad&Bougee!

Honestly, I'm excited for this new chapter. I told him I never really got to navigate the world on my own and I feel like there is so much to learn about myself. Obviously being a mom will still be a core part of who I am. But now that I'm back in school and have a potential new job opportunity, I'm like... what else is out there for me? He said he will have to figure things out for himself and focus on changing for himself and for his family. He said he is excited that maybe he will finally grow up. That's great. I will be happy for him if he does. But I can't wait around for that anymore when I've been waiting literally our entire relationship for him to get it together.
 
qchelle said:
Hey guys! Im lurking in here. I got engaged last week :D We're having a short engagement (no wedding planning- doing JOP), we plan to wed in April 2018.
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Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey

:clap:

Congratulations and all the best!

My only bit of advice is to take pictures! Engagement pictures, professional wedding pictures, ALL the pictures! It’s my only regret of not having a big wedding, no pretty pictures.

I’m going to rent a pretty wedding dress when I’m no longer fat and go to town.
 
So DH went to Jamaica on Tuesday and DS has NOT handled it well. He is so sad. I realized this is the first time it’s been DH to go away and not us so the mental shift is lost on him.

His teacher messaged me to let me know he’s moping in class as well and she was worried. He’s usually quiet but she said he was very sad and his best friend hugged him to try and cheer him up. She’s letting them sit together this week.

I feel so bad, OTOH I’m like get over it already kiddo we’re flying down soon but then I remember my little crab is sensitive and I need to reassure him. DH does most of the “emotional” heavy lifting in our family, this is not my speciality.
 
IslandMummy said:
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey

:clap:

Congratulations and all the best!

My only bit of advice is to take pictures! Engagement pictures, professional wedding pictures, ALL the pictures! It’s my only regret of not having a big wedding, no pretty pictures.

I’m going to rent a pretty wedding dress when I’m no longer fat and go to town.
Click to expand...

Thanks! Oh yes, I'm a picture whore, so we're def taking all the pictures lol. We're taking engagement pics in New Orleans' French Quarter. Just booked the photog! And the courthouse we chose is very dope looking :)
 
Yaasss! Get that good lovin, girl :congrats: @qchelle
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Pretty much everyone in my dad’s family died young. I am afraid I am going to face the same fate. I am young and constantly facing medical emergencies. My mom is very ill and other relatives are overseas so any kids will end up with DH’s family. I have been trying to remain positive but given my family medical history and me constantly ending up in the ER it is time
For me to accept that I likely won’t live to see 60. I will try but the odds are not in my favor.
 
Farida said:
Pretty much everyone in my dad’s family died young. I am afraid I am going to face the same fate. I am young and constantly facing medical emergencies. My mom is very ill and other relatives are overseas so any kids will end up with DH’s family. I have been trying to remain positive but given my family medical history and me constantly ending up in the ER it is time
For me to accept that I likely won’t live to see 60. I will try but the odds are not in my favor.
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I'm sorry to read about the family history and your bouts of illness. As you said you will try, so please try your best, I hope you are the exception in the family. Hugs to you.
 
When dh text me and ask me to pick up deodorant and he doesn’t even know the brand he uses because that’s something he doesn’t worry about I am vindicated in not worrying about how the bills are paid around this place.
So you don’t even know what type of brand you use?
So you careless like that!?
 
CafedeBelleza said:
When dh text me and ask me to pick up deodorant and he doesn’t even know the brand he uses because that’s something he doesn’t worry about I am vindicated in not worrying about how the bills are paid around this place.
So you don’t even know what type of brand you use?
So you careless like that!?
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Men are ridiculous sometimes. DH does most of our grocery shopping. We share an app where we both update stuff. He will omit stuff that only HE uses. And then he gets mad that I did not tell him we were out. How the hell am I supposed to know we are out of something only YOU use? YOU used it last and you go shopping so shouldn’t YOU know? Geez...
 
Farida said:
Men are ridiculous sometimes. DH does most of our grocery shopping. We share an app where we both update stuff. He will omit stuff that only HE uses. And then he gets mad that I did not tell him we were out. How the hell am I supposed to know we are out of something only YOU use? YOU used it last and you go shopping so shouldn’t YOU know? Geez...
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Hi @Farida! Which app do you all use? We could use a grocery app :)
 
Last week DH crashed twice after hitting a patch of black ice on the highway. He’s banged up but doing OK. I couldn’t handle it. I was a mess and I hate that I was a mess because I generally believe men ain’t ****. But when I got that phone call I felt a stabbing pain in my chest and it felt as though my entire life started crumbling and I was going to be swallowed up by pain. I started losing my balance and 10 seconds later I started getting dressed. I never want that to happen again. We are working on our first child and I still get so scared when he leaves. I went running with him and he made us turn around and took me home. I love that Negro, ugh.
 
Dh and I have moved back to England. I'm so relieved with all our trying for a family Nigeria was really getting on my last nerve.

Main issue: my spirit does not want to have ANYTHING to do with his mother or sisters. I cannot even force myself to pretend for a second I can stand them, more worrying is that I don't want to.

I find them toxic, draining and hypocritical. So he's in a tizzy about it. I just had a pregnancy loss not 2 months ago after he insisted we go to their event and I'm like you see! I feel like if dealing them is a critieria for this marriage we have no kids yet, deuces will be the name- that's how dgaf I am on this.

Besides I'm still young and dem New Zealand All Blacks have me rethinking life :lol:

ETA: sorry so long
 
hothair said:
Dh and I have moved back to England. I'm so relieved with all our trying for a family Nigeria was really getting on my last nerve.

Main issue: my spirit does not want to have ANYTHING to do with his mother or sisters. I cannot even force myself to pretend for a second I can stand them, more worrying is that I don't want to.

I find them toxic, draining and hypocritical. So he's in a tizzy about it. I just had a pregnancy loss not 2 months ago after he insisted we go to their event and I'm like you see! I feel like if dealing them is a critieria for this marriage we have no kids yet, deuces will be the name- that's how dgaf I am on this.

Besides I'm still young and dem New Zealand All Blacks have me rethinking life :lol:

ETA: sorry so long
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Those rugby players :lick: we went to the sevens one year and I felt so sorry for the Japanese team. They were such small men.

Anyway, I’m sorry. Family can be draining. Even your own family can sometimes suck the life out of you. I often counsel young women really hard not to let love blind them into marrying into family drama. I hope you can find a common ground, at least temporarily.
 
At work with several married women who were discussing the stat that working women still did something like 65% of all household chores compared to their husbands even when she made more money. Everyone was saying its higher for them, got even worse when kids arrived, or their husband is just useless around the house......

It is such a depressing thought! :(
 
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