Married Ladies Random Thoughts

IslandMummy said:
I did the thing you aren’t supposed to do and fell in love with a house. I’m sure we won’t get it because of how tight the market here is right now. Ugh. I’m so mad at myself.
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@IslandMummy, you can't count yourself out that quickly. Tight market or not, it's amazing how things can work out sometimes. @Dee-Licious made an excellent point, if you don't get this one, it may be because a really awesome house around the corner is meant for you.
 
Bad&Bougee said:
@IslandMummy, you can't count yourself out that quickly. Tight market or not, it's amazing how things can work out sometimes. @Dee-Licious made an excellent point, if you don't get this one, it may be because a really awesome house around the corner is meant for you.
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It’s terrible down here! Investors come in and snatch any half way decent house off the market to do $30k worth of work and then resell for ridiculous amounts. A house valued at 124k sells for 260 :cry3:

Thank you ladies so much, I’m trying to not let this process continue to stress me out. We at least have time to look.
 
IslandMummy said:
It’s terrible down here! Investors come in and snatch any half way decent house off the market to do $30k worth of work and then resell for ridiculous amounts. A house valued at 124k sells for 260 :cry3:

Thank you ladies so much, I’m trying to not let this process continue to stress me out. We at least have time to look.
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Hoping and praying for the best for you guys! Stay strong and keep stacking. The market is due for a change.
 
PLEASE DON'T QUOTE.

I really don't understand how things can change so quickly. We had a decent weekend and then today we got into a stupid disagreement that turned into something bigger - and I literally had to just walk away because I almost went off and didn't want to do that in front of DS. But I told him multiple times to just let it go and he just keep forcing it to the point where I told him there will be consequences if he keeps this up. He did not, so I removed myself from the situation. He can say what he wants about me as a wife, IDGAF. But he need not ever, EVER come out his mouth questioning me as a mother. I am NOT the one and he will learn real quick if he thinks he's gonna get away with that :censored: again. I do not take that disrespect lightly.

I already had one foot out the door and he is just giving me more and more reasons to hit "go."
 
divachyk said:
My husband passed on 10 Sep 17 and will be buried on 16 Sep 17. I'm so heartbroken yet relieved he's not suffering any more. He and I started dating in middle school and have been married for 19 years. In total, we've been together for 28 years. I miss my best friend so much. Thank you in advance for the condolences.
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish I had words to say that would give your heart some peace. I will keep you in my prayers.
 
Bad&Bougee said:
I will continue to pray for you two. I hope it works out.

Another note - San Antonio is beautiful. Take some time to let your hair down and enjoy the city.
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Thank you! I have some vague ideas of stuff I wanna see while I'm there, but it's only two days. Fortunately the conference sessions I need to go to end at noon, so I'll have the rest of the day to explore. :-)
 
DH and I had a little talk today. Not fully because we had DS but... he admitted that he has been looking for an apartment. He said he felt like he was never really welcome here and he feels like I've checked out so he wanted to be prepared. He said he was looking at places nearby so he could still watch DS when I go to work. He told me last night my re/actions have been different, I said they have been because I don't feel secure. He did not seem to understand what I meant by this, because he said how do I think he feels when I don't talk to him and I'm about to go on this work trip. He said I must be talking to someone else or getting support somewhere else if I'm not getting it from him.

This is not the case.

But anyway. It basically ended with me trying to mollify him, as usual. I said this is just a rough patch and we will get through it. I don't know if I really believe it, but I think it was what he needed to hear. That seemed to help him a little bit. Me? I don't feel anything. I should feel something right? There was a time when the thought of being without him sent me into a panic. Now I feel like I would be fine. I really don't know what to make of this.
 
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Miss617 said:
... I said they have been because I don't feel secure. He did not seem to understand what I meant by this, because he said how do I think he feels when I don't talk to him and I'm about to go on this work trip.
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The bolded is what stood out to me most. And it makes me angry that he so quickly and easily changed the subject.

You go on your work trip and have a blast. Enjoy the freedom. Focus completely on yourself while you are there.
 
Miss617 said:
DH and I had a little talk today. Not fully because we had DS but... he admitted that he has been looking for an apartment. He said he felt like he was never really welcome here and he feels like I've checked out so he wanted to be prepared. He said he was looking at places nearby so he could still watch DS when I go to work. He told me last night my re/actions have been different, I said they have been because I don't feel secure. He did not seem to understand what I meant by this, because he said how do I think he feels when I don't talk to him and I'm about to go on this work trip. He said I must be talking to someone else or getting support somewhere else if I'm not getting it from him.

This is not the case.

But anyway. It basically ended with me trying to mollify him, as usual. I said this is just a rough patch and we will get through it. I don't know if I really believe it, but I think it was what he needed to hear. That seemed to help him a little bit. Me? I don't feel anything. I should feel something right? There was a time when the thought being without him sent me into a panic. Now I feel like I would be fine. I really don't know what to make of this.
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Is he a cancer?
 
hopeful said:
The bolded is what stood out to me most. And it makes me angry that he so quickly and easily changed the subject.

You go on your work trip and have a blast. Enjoy the freedom. Focus completely on yourself while you are there.
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Oh, I have a few things I want to do when I'm not at the conference! Gonna go to the art museum to see a "Nightmare Before Christmas" exhibit. And get some barbeque. :lick:
 
Miss617 said:
I mean... I should be used to it by now but ugh, it's like it's just gotten worse as he's gotten older. He just stays in his feelings, it's infuriating. I wouldn't wish a Cancer man on my worst enemy. :lol:
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Oh man. I don’t mean to laugh but man they are a complete handful. DS is mad at me now because I won’t let him use my ipad. He HAS two iPads.
 
Miss617 said:
DH and I had a little talk today. Not fully because we had DS but... he admitted that he has been looking for an apartment. He said he felt like he was never really welcome here and he feels like I've checked out so he wanted to be prepared. He said he was looking at places nearby so he could still watch DS when I go to work. He told me last night my re/actions have been different, I said they have been because I don't feel secure. He did not seem to understand what I meant by this, because he said how do I think he feels when I don't talk to him and I'm about to go on this work trip. He said I must be talking to someone else or getting support somewhere else if I'm not getting it from him.

This is not the case.

But anyway. It basically ended with me trying to mollify him, as usual. I said this is just a rough patch and we will get through it. I don't know if I really believe it, but I think it was what he needed to hear. That seemed to help him a little bit. Me? I don't feel anything. I should feel something right? There was a time when the thought of being without him sent me into a panic. Now I feel like I would be fine. I really don't know what to make of this.
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Marriage can be very hard work. There are times when I love my DH to the moon and back. Yet, there are other times when I could strangle his last breath out of his body, LOL. (I'm sure that he may feel the same about me). But through the ups and downs of our marriage we still love each other are determined not to become a statistic. Miss617, please believe me when I say that there have been times that our marriage could be compared to a breath taking sunset and other times that it could have been compared to a raging, tempestuous storm.

But those wedding vows that we spoke were pretty powerful: for better for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward till death we do part." We promised each other before God to keep those vows, (we've broken some of them but we strive to do better), and to stay together until we are separated by death. We've dug in our heels and declared that there will be no divorce. Sometimes, when one of us is super stubborn, the other one must sacrifice their own feelings and wait for things to get better. Surprisingly, they always do.

I pray that you two stay together and are able to work things out. But if not, at least you know that you did your best and gave everything that you could give to make the marriage work.
 
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IslandMummy said:
Oh man. I don’t mean to laugh but man they are a complete handful. DS is mad at me now because I won’t let him use my ipad. He HAS two iPads.
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It's all good, I'm fully aware of how they are. I was actually talking to the husband just now about my childhood friend who is also a Cancer and also annoys the ish out of me :lol:. I think IslandSon and Little617 would get along because this kid stays demanding my mom's tablet at 7 o'clock on the dot (he's a Sag though). I'm like dude, you're not even 3, you can't read an analog clock! Chile.... These kids are something else.
 
Bad&Bougee said:
I am delighted to hear that you have some ME time planned. Enjoy yourself!!
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Thank ya, ma'am. I was so happy to learn about that exhibit because I love that movie! And I feel like I can't go to Texas and not get barbeque (barbecue? Now they both look weird.

I'm sorry to hear you're stuck with a crab too. :lachen:I'm a Scorpio so... yeah. I feel like that explains like 90% of our issues. :lachen:
 
Miss617 said:
Thank ya, ma'am. I was so happy to learn about that exhibit because I love that movie! And I feel like I can't go to Texas and not get barbeque (barbecue? Now they both look weird.

I'm sorry to hear you're stuck with a crab too. :lachen:I'm a Scorpio so... yeah. I feel like that explains like 90% of our issues. :lachen:
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You know what, we ate everything but BBQ when we went to San Antonio! Now we have to go back. Is your hotel anywhere near the Riverwalk?

Now that is a combination for the record books; a Scorpio and a Cancer. That has to be a lot of give and take and tongue biting. Bless your heart.
 
Bad&Bougee said:
You know what, we ate everything but BBQ when we went to San Antonio! Now we have to go back. Is your hotel anywhere near the Riverwalk?

Now that is a combination for the record books; a Scorpio and a Cancer. That has to be a lot of give and take and tongue biting. Bless your heart.
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It looks like it's about a 20 minute drive. But I am waaaaay under budget for the trip, so best believe I'm putting anything and everything on my corporate card. My boss seemed a bit disappointed when I told him how much I'd spent on the flight and hotel because if we don't spend that money, they will cut our 2018 budget. So I'm trying to make up for it wherever I can LOL.

Yes, it's been... Interesting, to say the least. I always say when things are good, they're amazing, but when they're not, it's Armageddon. I'm trying, I really am. But I've been with him since I was 18, I'll be 29 next month... A lot has changed since then.
 
mensa said:
Marriage can be very hard work. There are times when I love my DH to the moon and back. Yet, there are other times when I could strangle his last breath out of his body, LOL. (I'm sure that he may feel the same about me). But through the ups and downs of our marriage we still love each other and have been determined not to become a statistic. Miss617, please believe me when I say that there have been times that our marriage could be compared to a breath taking sunset and other times it could have been compared to a raging, tempestuous storm.

But those wedding vows that we spoke were pretty powerful: for better for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward till death we do part." We promised each other before God to keep those vows, (we've broken some of them but we strive to do better), and to stay together until we are separated by death. We've dug in our heels and declared that there will be no divorce. Sometimes, when one of us is super stubborn, the other one must sacrifice their own feelings and wait for things to get better. Surprisingly, they always do.

I pray that you two stay together and are able to work things out. But if not, at least you know that you did your best and gave everything that you could give to make the marriage work.
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Thank you, mensa. Unfortunately it seems like we've both contemplated divorce which I have always hoped it would not come to. I'm a child of divorce and I don't want that for my son. I'm trying to work through this as much as I can without throwing in the towel, but some days I'm just so tired of the arguing. We've been through some tough times and have made it through so I know we *can* do it, it just seems like it's now a matter of whether or not we have the mental and emotional fortitude to keep trying.
 
Bad&Bougee said:
My DH is a Cancer as well. It can be pretty difficult at times, especially when my Gemini kicks in and I get mad because he's mad. You have to do A LOT of petting but it's worth it. Isn't it?
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DD is a Gemini and booooy. If I don’t hear “why are you so ANNOYING?!” at least twice a day, someone is sick. They love each other to pieces but also can’t stand each other. It’s fascinating to watch.

Bad&Bougee said:
He has 2 but yours is special. Plus he wants to see what you are up to . When will they learn that wives aren't up to anything - just enjoying life.
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I’ve had to work really, really hard and not dismissing him because I don’t want him to develop a complex and end up hating me for denying him affection or attention. But that kid stays under me. Nonstop. I hide in the bathroom with the lights out sometimes. DH is the better emotionally available parent. He enjoys random hugging and cuddling.

He is everyone’s favorite thing in the world though. Had a parent teacher meeting a couple weeks ago and his teacher spent 30 minutes gushing over how helpful and attentive but shy he is.

These cancers. So loving and loyal but emotionally taxing. Ya gotta love em.
 
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