Married Ladies Random Thoughts

I'm afraid. Just because of my mindset. I'm slick depressed by all these fertility problems. I picked the one dude that has fertility problems. Then with my background this is not good. Then I don't know how to heal my background. Therapy never helped it. And then I have to stay on top of him to try to go to the dr and ask prudent questions. He's so lackadaisical about he situation. But quietly I feel like I'm dying. He says he understands my pain but I feel like he doesn't. I mean after this doctorate I sit back and wonder what will I really have to leave for, strive for, yearn for if I haven't started my own family. I feel at the end of my rope. And I can't admit it in real life
 
Dh is gonna make me commit murder. He is out of town this weekend and I woke up hearing noses like someone was coming through my bathroom window. Well I look outside and apparently someone is outside working on something. On a damnsunday and I know they always let him know when they're coming. Idk why I wasn't informed of this ****. Ima call him right now I hope he's sleep too
 
I'm so grateful DH got up and made us some breakfast but he's driving me nuts with his incessant need to watch ALL the campaign coverage. I'm stuck in this room watching the same pundits....I don't need him to give me a summary of their summaries :rolleyes: He got one mo' gain to mute this TV to rehash what they just said and I'm just gonna get up and sit in the bedroom by myself.
 
SwtAnana said:
I'm so grateful DH got up and made us some breakfast but he's driving me nuts with his incessant need to watch ALL the campaign coverage. I'm stuck in this room watching the same pundits....I don't need him to give me a summary of their summaries :rolleyes: He got one mo' gain to mute this TV to rehash what they just said and I'm just gonna get up and sit in the bedroom by myself.
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:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:
 
PrissiSippi said:
:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:
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:lachen: Love that man but he's driving me nuts!

BTW, have you looked at the fertility forums on cafemom and thebump? I started looking at them last year when we first started trying to conceive....trust me, you would not be the only couple to both have fertility obstacles to overcome. So many people are struggling. These forums have given me the emotional support to keep trying when it seems like other couples can do it so easily. Try not to blame him, it's not his fault. He's probably being hard enough on himself, he really needs your support for you guys to tackle this together :bighug:

Every month that we don't conceive I go and buy myself something nice :look:
 
@PrissiSippi Not the same situation, but I understand how you feel. Before we had DS, I didn't think I could get pregnant. We had been together for 8 years and it never happened. Not even a scare (we weren't actively trying, but we weren't being particularly careful either). It didn't bother me as much when we were dating, but after we got married, it made me very depressed, especially because he already had a kid. In the months before we found out I was pregnant, I flipped out on him several times because I felt like he didn't share my pain (in retrospect, that was probably the pregnancy hormones talking LOL). I was so hurt, I felt like I was dying and he was just living his life like everything was rainbows and butterflies.

You have to be honest with him. You cannot and should not be going through this alone. If he loves you, if he wants to have a child with you, he needs to get his sh*t together and do what he's supposed to. If he doesn't, it makes you feel like he doesn't care as much as you do, and I'm sure that's probably NOT the case. But men don't deal with this stuff like we do. Maybe he's trying to be strong for you, but that's not what you need right now. You need to feel like you're in this together. I get it, believe me. Tell him straight up how important this is to you and that he follows through with his appointments.

Lots of love and baby dust to you and others who are struggling. It CAN happen - it did for me. Have faith! :bighug:
 
Thanks @Miss617 im just so emotional these days. Every holiday, pregnancy announcement, and wedding is making me so depressed. I just burst out crying for little reason at all. And yeah he told me he doesn't show it like I do. He says he wakes up in the wee hours and wonders what he could do to make us okay and to stop my pain and worries. I just feel alone in it. He's sooo optimistic that I feel like he's lying to me when I read the actual medical reports. This is the 2nd dr that told us IVF is our only chance. We don't have the money for it plus with my genetic disorder I don't think drs want that liability in their hands. So it depresses me more. I wish I could just disappear for awhile cuz my close friends can sense my pain buti don't want to bother/worry them and it's really nothing to say that makes me feel better. I dunno. I just feel so alone.
 
@PrissiSippi I totally understand. It was hard for me too. I wrote an article about Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler having their second baby and I broke down crying. Friends of mine from school were having kids like nothing. I was so depressed, like why was it so easy for them? It seemed so unfair. Sometimes you don't want cheering up, you just want someone to commiserate with you. But trust me, you are not alone. If you need to talk, please feel free to PM me. See as many doctors as you need to get another opinion about the IVF. There are natural fertility pills you can try in the meantime; I was looking at this company, http://fairhavenhealth.com/ I will pray for you and your DH.
 
PrissiSippi said:
Thanks @Miss617 im just so emotional these days. Every holiday, pregnancy announcement, and wedding is making me so depressed. I just burst out crying for little reason at all. And yeah he told me he doesn't show it like I do. He says he wakes up in the wee hours and wonders what he could do to make us okay and to stop my pain and worries. I just feel alone in it. He's sooo optimistic that I feel like he's lying to me when I read the actual medical reports. This is the 2nd dr that told us IVF is our only chance. We don't have the money for it plus with my genetic disorder I don't think drs want that liability in their hands. So it depresses me more. I wish I could just disappear for awhile cuz my close friends can sense my pain buti don't want to bother/worry them and it's really nothing to say that makes me feel better. I dunno. I just feel so alone.
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Aawwwwww hugggsss. I can relate to you a little bit as well as @Miss617. We are not actively trying but I haven't been preventing for years and nothing. Like @Miss617 my husband already has a child so he doesn't really feel or understand my desire and my baby fever. Sometimes I think I can't even have children because it hasn't happened and for others they get pregnant sooo easy. I am actually starting testing on Tuesday to see where I am with things and I may possibly have to go to a fertility doctor. Just know you are not alone and you can always post here or pm if you just need an ear to get it out.
 
How were your husbands after baby?
My husband seems to have lost the hots for me. :ohwell:
I lost all the baby weight and then some, renewed my wardrobe, fixed my skin problems and constantly walk naked around him. :look: Just walking around with my underwear used to drive him nuts.
I asked him why he was "distant" and he said it's because I'm a busy mother now and he doesn't want to bother me. There is definitely some truth to this because I'm either busy around the house or taking care of the baby/busy toddler, but can a girl get a smack on the butt. :giggle:
I initiate more than I've ever done so before and he enjoys the attention :naughtycouch:.
I get more compliments and attention from co-workers, both male and female, but I miss my man's words. :cry3:
 
PrissiSippi said:
I'm afraid. Just because of my mindset. I'm slick depressed by all these fertility problems. I picked the one dude that has fertility problems. Then with my background this is not good. Then I don't know how to heal my background. Therapy never helped it. And then I have to stay on top of him to try to go to the dr and ask prudent questions. He's so lackadaisical about he situation. But quietly I feel like I'm dying. He says he understands my pain but I feel like he doesn't. I mean after this doctorate I sit back and wonder what will I really have to leave for, strive for, yearn for if I haven't started my own family. I feel at the end of my rope. And I can't admit it in real life
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:bighug:
I know how you feel dear. I myself am experiencing fertility issues.
It can be painful but one thing I do is let myself have "those moments" If I need to cry, I cry. I will tell DH "Baby it's one of those days". I have had 4 of closest friends get pregnant in the past year. I don't trick myself into thinking I am OK with it, but I don't let it make me feel like my life is failure. I believe everything happens in God's timing. But I have to keep on living my life and not just living it, but enjoying what I DO have. And trust me, men hurt just like we do but they try to be strong for us. Your DH has probably had his moments when you wasn't around. I asked my DH one day " Baby does it hurt you that we haven't been successful in TTC" He said "yes but that doesn't change my love for you and I am believing God" When I heard that it hurt him too, I was almost relieved because it made me see that I wasn't alone in this and that we were both dealing with this and we could be a help to each other. We are just enjoying the season we are in. Going on trips, traveling, etc.

Praying for you love!
 
So I went to the doctor and finds out I have a UTI :cry3:. DH was in the doctor office asking "Is this something I can catch?" :drunk:. I was like boy be quite.

I never had a UTI before, but my doctor said I need to urinate each time after sex, I was like oh :look:. So here is to antibiotics and cranberry juice.

OAN she said you can get one from wiping back to front. I was like whhheeettt? Who does that??? :confused:
 
pick up some d-mannose....its a god send...its at vitamin shoppe or etc
UTI's can be very serious make sure your urinating when you need to go and search the board we've discussed them here a ton....

LucieLoo12 said:
So I went to the doctor and finds out I have a UTI :cry3:. DH was in the doctor office asking "Is this something I can catch?" :drunk:. I was like boy be quite.

I never had a UTI before, but my doctor said I need to urinate each time after sex, I was like oh :look:. So here is to antibiotics and cranberry juice.

OAN she said you can get one from wiping back to front. I was like whhheeettt? Who does that??? :confused:
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MrsMe said:
How were your husbands after baby?
My husband seems to have lost the hots for me. :ohwell:
I lost all the baby weight and then some, renewed my wardrobe, fixed my skin problems and constantly walk naked around him. :look: Just walking around with my underwear used to drive him nuts.
I asked him why he was "distant" and he said it's because I'm a busy mother now and he doesn't want to bother me. There is definitely some truth to this because I'm either busy around the house or taking care of the baby/busy toddler, but can a girl get a smack on the butt. :giggle:
I initiate more than I've ever done so before and he enjoys the attention :naughtycouch:.
I get more compliments and attention from co-workers, both male and female, but I miss my man's words. :cry3:
Click to expand...

My husband seems to be just like he was before I had dd....everything I do seems to drive him crazy! His advances and attention have gotten more intense in the last few months because I've gotten back down to the weight I was when we were first dating. I understand where your dh is coming from, and his intentions are sweet, but he has to realize that you are still a woman....HIS woman. Try talking to him again and telling him EXACTLY what you need/how you feel. You know men need things laid out for them explicitly. I hope this helps some because, Lord knows, I'm no expert on this married life! Hopefully some of the ladies who have been married longer will chime in!
 
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HappywithJC723 said:
My husband seems to be just like he was before I had dd....everything I do seems to drive him crazy! His advances and attention have gotten more intense in the last few months because I've gotten back down to the weight I was when we were first dating. I understand where your dh is coming from, and his intentions are sweet, but he has to realize that you are still a woman....HIS woman. Try talking to him again and telling him EXACTLY what you need/how you feel. You know men need things laid out for them explicitly. I hope this helps some because, Lord knows, I'm no expert on this married life! Hopefully some of tbr ladies who have been married longer will chime in!
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Girl, I'm tired of laying it out for him. Everything is laid out and I voice my desires and concerns weekly but the man is still nonchalant about the whole thing.
We used to cosleep so the baby was in the way but we just moved to another room. Now the man has been sleeping on the couch for the last two months.
I have transitioned the baby into the playpen but he still does not sleep in our bed. It's frustrating because we've never had such issues before. It was the opposite with him harassing me.
 
@Nyssa28 I did the full J.J. Smith green smoothie cleanse for 10 days. After that, (for about a month and a half) I ate very clean and counted my calories using MyFitnessPal. Now, (to lose my last 3 lbs) I'm doing the modified version of the J.J. Smith green smoothie cleanse. There's a thread around here on the cleanse where you can get more info and support from us that have done or are currently doing the cleanse.
 
Nyssa28 said:
@MrsMe and @HappywithJC723 - Not to derail the thread, but what have you ladies done to lose the baby weight?
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I just breastfed my daughter. I haven't worked out in 2 years and eat a pretty balanced diet so I really have no advice. The key for me was to eat healthy during and after pregnancy. The pounds literally melted away.
HappywithJC723 said:
I don't understand then. You have talked to him and the baby isn't in the bed anymore! What more can you do? There does seem to be some kind of issue going on. I can see now why you're so concerned. I don't really have any advice but I hope things get better for you and your dh :bighug:
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Thank you for your kind words @HappywithJC723 . One of my close friends suggested counseling by the man is stubborn as you can see. :(
 
Lookat for vacation spots and saw this. in one of the reviews...
Which one of yall wrote this? LMAO
"Ok, so the House is a decent boutique'y hotel for well traveled unicorns, but let me give some pointers

2). Beach service- unicorns like being able to sit on the beach, and at a minimum order a drink every 30-50 minutes. Or at a minimum be asked by a waiter every hour if we need anything. Unicorns need liquids, and appreciate hotels that offer in your face, on point service on the beach to get what you want. That doesn't happen here. It's not the fault of the service people - like I said, we liked all of them - but it's just not really in their job description"
 
HappywithJC723 said:
@Nyssa28 I did the full J.J. Smith green smoothie cleanse for 10 days. After that, (for about a month and a half) I ate very clean and counted my calories using MyFitnessPal. Now, (to lose my last 3 lbs) I'm doing the modified version of the J.J. Smith green smoothie cleanse. There's a thread around here on the cleanse where you can get more info and support from us that have done or are currently doing the cleanse.
Click to expand...

I've been trying to add more veggies into my diet. I will look into it. Thanks!
 
I noticed lately that I need to give my husband more "credit" in front of others. It's like I get all the credit. Here are some examples: We invited some close friends to a game that we had free tickets for and at the end of the night they thanked me...not DH. It was him that suggested we invite them, it was him that drove so they could relax in the backseat, it was him that showed them around and made sure we all had a great time.

Another example: We did some charity work and the people in charge just gushed and gushed over how helpful I was...when really it was DH that pushed us to go and help and he was soooo helpful (not me).

These types of things have happened over and over again...not just once or twice.

Thankfully, my husband hasn't noticed this trend, but I can see it and I'm like from now on I'm going to make sure this man gets the credit he deserves. The only thing is that I react too late. When someone compliments me, I automatically say thank you. I need to learn to say, "I appreciate the compliment, but actually it was DH that suggested this, that. and the third. He's wonderful!"

Can anyone else relate to this? I cannot be the only one getting all the kudos while their husband gets left out.
 
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