Married Ladies Random Thoughts

crimsonpeach said:
It's wedding season and we have five weddings to attend between March and July. Just attended the first. This is our first year of marriage and it's so much fun seeing another couple start their journey together. We spent half the day reminiscing over our own wedding. And no more going to catch the bouquet with Single Ladies being played! lol

As a matter of fact all of the upcoming weddings are for my friends in their mid to late 30s. All the brides are cutting out the bouquet/garter toss. All the weddings I went to in my 20s did the tosses.
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I did the toss for the pictures. Bouquet only
 
crimsonpeach said:
It's wedding season and we have five weddings to attend between March and July. Just attended the first. This is our first year of marriage and it's so much fun seeing another couple start their journey together. We spent half the day reminiscing over our own wedding. And no more going to catch the bouquet with Single Ladies being played! lol

As a matter of fact all of the upcoming weddings are for my friends in their mid to late 30s. All the brides are cutting out the bouquet/garter toss. All the weddings I went to in my 20s did the tosses.
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Same here. One of them I'll be a bridesmaid so I'm excited :)

I did the toss at my wedding last year and I'm glad I did because my 80 year old aunt caught the bouquet and it was the funniest thing lol. I didn't do the garter.
 
My mentor told me I was going to have to start including my husband in conferences and my passion because I'm so busy and in the professional world that it would be easy to feel disconnected and like I was only work driven instead of we-driven. This is our first conference that I took him on. It's been so much fun. I've already been thinking of how we're going to the next conference in Los Angelos lol. I love we're getting to see the world together.
 
lana said:
@hopeful, I hear what you're saying, but I was speaking to her in a "semi-calm down it's not over" type of way.

My first thought was - what in the world happened? You don't just throw away a 20 year marriage! So please don't take my comments to her in the wrong way. She knows me well (just like I know her). Usually, we both feel like most things in a marriage can be fixed, but cheating or physical/emotional abuse are deal breakers for both of us - and that's not going to change. That's why I asked her if any of the above happened. Most minor problems can be "worked on". That's all I meant.

There problems are: They argue too much. They speak in anger. The husband blames the wife and she blames him about the daughter's pregnancy. They both need to be more forgiving, and let go of the past.

She doesn't feel "cherished", but she knows he loves her based on their history, and yes, she loves him. Recent events have put a major strain on things. All I can do is be there for her.

Why does she blame him? She said that he didn't put any rules, boundaries, or limits on their daughter. She warned him constantly, and he just let her run wild. He felt that she was too strict.
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You are a good friend. And boy do you really get it. You understand relationships. I hope she cherishes you.
 
@Nyssa28
Get him shirt that would be cute with it. That's what I did with mine. When I'd shop I'd pick up a top for him to wear with an all black pair he ordered on a whim last year.
I had to get him out of khakis and button downs :spinning:
 
Somebody help me be more appreciative of the strides my husband is making. He is really changing for the better. Sometimes I feel that others can see it (that I complain to) but I don't see....or is it I don't want to see it?

That narcissistic thread they had posted on how to get away from people like that....makes me depressed. I think I'm very narcissistic and times (and just found out so because of my narcissistic mother) and because of it I'm overly critical and not the wife I wanna be genuinely. I mean I'm trying but I fall short. He's so patient with my flaws. I'm not. They each annoy me in a "I am better than you; you need to be a man" way.
 
DH told me he would give me $1000 when he got his bonus to put towards our bills. I asked him the other day when he would be getting his bonus and was he still giving me the money. He told me no because I told him I didn't want it. (Why would I say this if we still have the same bills?) I got annoyed. We had an argument about how he doesn't have to say he will do things if he didn't intend on doing them. He told me whatever I wanted he would give to me. I told him I didn't want it if I had to ask for it when he initially brought the idea up. How was I supposed to handle this instead.

My REAL problem is that he will say he will do stuff (pay for my tag, take us out somewhere, do blah blah for our future) and then see me planning or subtly reminding him that such and such needs to get done but not do it unless i tell him exactly what I need from him. Which in turn makes me feel like he is a child. If I feel like he is a child I will treat him as such and not respect him.
 
Why did he say you said you didn't want it? Did you tell him directly that you would appreciate the $1,000 after he offered? I'm as confused as you. It sounds like even though he is nice he is starting to master the passive aggressive stuff. Maybe you guys can talk on a weekly basis about your financial plans? The back and forth, the not following through and being an adult about things that need to get done is very annoying. I hope you guys can work through these issues soon.
 
hopeful said:
Why did he say you said you didn't want it? Did you tell him directly that you would appreciate the $1,000 after he offered? I'm as confused as you. It sounds like even though he is nice he is starting to master the passive aggressive stuff. Maybe you guys can talk on a weekly basis about your financial plans? The back and forth, the not following through and being an adult about things that need to get done is very annoying. I hope you guys can work through these issues soon.
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He said I told him in passing in the car that I didn't need it. I don't remember this at all. I told him I need to write it down and make him sign it when he says he's going to do something. But realistically speaking. No one is doing all that in a relationship. This is not a business.
 
PrissiSippi said:
He said I told him in passing in the car that I didn't need it. I don't remember this at all. I told him I need to write it down and make him sign it when he says he's going to do something. But realistically speaking. No one is doing all that in a relationship. This is not a business.
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I understand. Hang in there. I think he wanted you to be super excited about his offer and like ohh thank you so much :blah:. You probably said something in the car that hurt his feelings and he's being passive aggressive trying to make you ask/beg him for the money. Take a breath and get the money from him.
 
hopeful said:
I understand. Hang in there. I think he wanted you to be super excited about his offer and like ohh thank you so much :blah:. You probably said something in the car that hurt his feelings and he's being passive aggressive trying to make you ask/beg him for the money. Take a breath and get the money from him.
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Maybe that's it. I say thank you but I don't kiss him or anything for it. And y'all know I'm working on the show gratitude thing so I'll just try to be more aware of showing gratitude.
 
CafedeBelleza said:
@Nyssa28
Get him shirt that would be cute with it. That's what I did with mine. When I'd shop I'd pick up a top for him to wear with an all black pair he ordered on a whim last year.
I had to get him out of khakis and button downs :spinning:
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That's a good idea. That way, he can't say he doesn't have anything to wear with them. Thanks!
 
Taleah2009 said:
Married for 6 months in a few days. Time is flying.

I still need to change my last name and get my official marriage. Shesh, I need to get on that.

Oh and send out the thank cards that have been sitting on my counter for the past month. I don't feel like it!! lol
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I'm going on three years and still haven't changed mine. I honestly don't feel like it at this point, but my married name is on my son's birth certificate. Ugh. I feel like it would probably be less trouble to do the name change than try to amend the birth certificate.
 
DH bought me a car. :2inlove:

I had a Nissan Altima that was paid off. But I wanted a SUV, I was looking at the GMC Acadia but changed my mind on them. Then I fell in love with the Traverse. DH got it for me :)

images
 
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