Married Ladies Random Thoughts

delitefulmane said:
Do you ladies tell your husbands about every purchase you make? If not, what is the amount that you have decided you will tell him about or the amount you guys have decided you will discuss before purchasing? I sometimes feel guilty for buying some things for myself. I'm writing this after I went shopping this weekend, and just ordered some new boots online. :giggle:
Click to expand...
I usually show him my purchases but he never asks about the price.
If he did, I'd tell him.
We've shopped together so we both know what costs what.
We discuss big purchases unless they're gifts.
 
honesly if i hadnt gotten some in a week i would be very betchyyyy :angry2:...im positive if you give him some he'll be cool as a cucumber lol
also if his love language is physical touch and intimacy then that could be it

LucieLoo12 said:
Dh is soooo sensitive today :perplexed:. Gessshh. My bed and breakfast surprise is Thursday. He was trippin so bad this morning, I almost canceled our reservation .He misunderstood something I said and I told him I didn't mean it that way. But he still wanted to get mad. After explaining myself 3 times, I said look if you wanna still be mad that's on you, have a good day. :look: He better get over it because I don't need him ruining my surprise for him. :yep:

I really think it's because we haven't been intimate for a like a week now. Maybe he just needs some......
Click to expand...
 
PrissiSippi said:
I'm listening to all the financial info. ^^ I had the problem with the tax refund stuff because we still do separate finances. We need to combine them and I need to start telling him what I spend my money on and vise versa but I guess I'm scared.
Click to expand...

@PrissiSippi , what are you scared of? In marriage, as I'm sure you know, you have to be open to be vulnerable. If you can't be vulnerable with him, who can you be? Or are you scared cause you like to spend a lot of money. If that's it then I can't help there. :giggle:
 
LucieLoo12 said:
Dh is soooo sensitive today :perplexed:. Gessshh. My bed and breakfast surprise is Thursday. He was trippin so bad this morning, I almost canceled our reservation .He misunderstood something I said and I told him I didn't mean it that way. But he still wanted to get mad. After explaining myself 3 times, I said look if you wanna still be mad that's on you, have a good day. :look: He better get over it because I don't need him ruining my surprise for him. :yep:

I really think it's because we haven't been intimate for a like a week now. Maybe he just needs some......
Click to expand...

:bighug: I feel your pain! @LucieLoo12, I hope he gets his act together!! Why is it when we plan something special for them, they wanna go and act up and ruin it?? :nono2:
 
lux10023 said:
honesly if i hadnt gotten some in a week i would be very betchyyyy :angry2:...im positive if you give him some he'll be cool as a cucumber lol
also if his love language is physical touch and intimacy then that could be it
Click to expand...

Naw :laugh:. Sex has not been withheld from him this past week. We both just been busy and when we get in the bed, we are knocked out! But we are not children, if he wants some, then come get it , but I don't have time for the temper tantrums. We had made plans since last week to eat out last night. So he came home in a "mood". So I tried the "baby what's wrong, talk to me" thing. He was still acting stank. So I said ok. I got in the shower and got dressed. When I came out, he heated up some leftovers and said he was going to eat that. So I picked up my purse and keys and said I will be back, I'm going out to eat. :look: He got mad and started an argument. He said I was wrong for leaving without him because he wanted some food too. Ummmmmm you said you are going to eat the leftovers!!! But the real issue was he expected me to sit and sulk with him. I had not time for it. So he calls himself sleeping on the couch last night. I politely brought him his phone on the couch so his alarm wouldn't wake me up because he gets up before me. I crawled up in bed and slept like a baby.:) The old me would have catered to his every emotion but I learned quick, you wanna act a fool, you will be acting one by yourself.

Then he came this morning and apologized and said everything was his fault and he was sorry for his mood. So I will keep the reservation :look:.
 
delitefulmane said:
:bighug: I feel your pain! @LucieLoo12, I hope he gets his act together!! Why is it when we plan something special for them, they wanna go and act up and ruin it?? :nono2:
Click to expand...

OMG Right? I went all out my way to plan this and he wanna go act up .Just can't act right :laugh:. But he apologized , so it's good. But I was coming to cancel them this morning if I cancel before 24 hours I won't be charged a fee.

It's so funny how in a marriage things change so fast!! :giggle:
 
like a boss you did that!! Applause all the way for the way you handled him :toocool:

and LOL at him coming to his senses an apologizing..MEN UGH!!!!! :angry2::look::lachen:


LucieLoo12 said:
Naw :laugh:. Sex has not been withheld from him this past week. We both just been busy and when we get in the bed, we are knocked out! But we are not children, if he wants some, then come get it , but I don't have time for the temper tantrums. We had made plans since last week to eat out last night. So he came home in a "mood". So I tried the "baby what's wrong, talk to me" thing. He was still acting stank. So I said ok. I got in the shower and got dressed. When I came out, he heated up some leftovers and said he was going to eat that. So I picked up my purse and keys and said I will be back, I'm going out to eat. :look: He got mad and started an argument. He said I was wrong for leaving without him because he wanted some food too. Ummmmmm you said you are going to eat the leftovers!!! But the real issue was he expected me to sit and sulk with him. I had not time for it. So he calls himself sleeping on the couch last night. I politely brought him his phone on the couch so his alarm wouldn't wake me up because he gets up before me. I crawled up in bed and slept like a baby.:) The old me would have catered to his every emotion but I learned quick, you wanna act a fool, you will be acting one by yourself.

Then he came this morning and apologized and said everything was his fault and he was sorry for his mood. So I will keep the reservation :look:.
Click to expand...
 
lux10023 said:
like a boss you did that!! Applause all the way for the way you handled him :toocool:

and LOL at him coming to his senses an apologizing..MEN UGH!!!!! :angry2::look::lachen:
Click to expand...

Girl they are so emotional!! And they said we are the emotional ones...no sir!

At least when I am mad, you know why. But men wanna play these guessing games, silent mode, silent anger.....I have time for none of that. You wanna talk about it? Sure baby let's talk. You wanna pout? Bye.
 
delitefulmane said:
@PrissiSippi , what are you scared of? In marriage, as I'm sure you know, you have to be open to be vulnerable. If you can't be vulnerable with him, who can you be? Or are you scared cause you like to spend a lot of money. If that's it then I can't help there. :giggle:
Click to expand...
1. I spend a lot of money on frivolous things. Well not a lot but I like to thrift a lot. I spend $5 here and $10 there almost every day. But I can only spend $100 a week. He spends big amounts at one time like $50 here and $75 there but he doesn't relatively spend much at all.
2. I don't trust his finances. He makes more than me but doesn't save.
3. I'm a planner. I think if I saw exactly where his money is going ( I think it's to his parents still) that I would be upset and wondered why he doesn't save as much.
4. I never saw a true need to. He pays his bills I pay mine. (My old coworker said why have separate finances? Yall could be cheating on each other and neither of yall would know because yall have separate finances.)
 
PrissiSippi said:
1. I spend a lot of money on frivolous things. Well not a lot but I like to thrift a lot. I spend $5 here and $10 there almost every day. But I can only spend $100 a week. He spends big amounts at one time like $50 here and $75 there but he doesn't relatively spend much at all.
2. I don't trust his finances. He makes more than me but doesn't save.
3. I'm a planner. I think if I saw exactly where his money is going ( I think it's to his parents still) that I would be upset and wondered why he doesn't save as much.
4. I never saw a true need to. He pays his bills I pay mine. (My old coworker said why have separate finances? Yall could be cheating on each other and neither of yall would know because yall have separate finances.)
Click to expand...

I can agree with your coworker. I see having a joint account as being able to hold each other accountable. For some people, this helps and for others this causes strife, so you guys have to find a way to make it work for you.
 
PrissiSippi said:
1. I spend a lot of money on frivolous things. Well not a lot but I like to thrift a lot. I spend $5 here and $10 there almost every day. But I can only spend $100 a week. He spends big amounts at one time like $50 here and $75 there but he doesn't relatively spend much at all.
2. I don't trust his finances. He makes more than me but doesn't save.
3. I'm a planner. I think if I saw exactly where his money is going ( I think it's to his parents still) that I would be upset and wondered why he doesn't save as much.
4. I never saw a true need to. He pays his bills I pay mine. (My old coworker said why have separate finances? Yall could be cheating on each other and neither of yall would know because yall have separate finances.)
Click to expand...

It sounds like you guys have never had a conversation about finances. Would you be open to having atleast a joint savings account, come up with an amount and you both deposit into that way you are working towards a joint goal?
 
Taleah2009 said:
It sounds like you guys have never had a conversation about finances. Would you be open to having atleast a joint savings account, come up with an amount and you both deposit into that way you are working towards a joint goal?
Click to expand...
I'm not being snarky. I'm foreal. What's the point of having a joint account? Other than if I wanted his money in guessing I could just let him know and go get it and vice versa.

And yeah we went to two marriage counseling a and we talked about finances. We had an argument about it to early on. I said I didn't know where his money went and he didn't know where mine went. And we talked about having a joint account for emergencies related to the house. But I just came to the point where I realize he pays mostly all the bills for the house. I pay electricity, my car, my cell phone, and groceries. So before I bought the car I only had to spend $360 worth of bills so I just let the finances go and realized I probably going to have to be our saver since he didn't save much even though he makes 50% more than what I make.
 
PrissiSippi said:
I'm not being snarky. I'm foreal. What's the point of having a joint account? Other than if I wanted his money in guessing I could just let him know and go get it and vice versa.
Click to expand...

I didn't question your question as snark. For my marriage, a joint account assists in our common goals. It makes me feel we are working towards one common goal. Also, I don't want my money vs your money. I want to get into the habit of everything being ours.

A joint account is not necessary, as @delitefulmane said you just kind of have to figure out what works best for you. I always want to feel like we are working as a unit.
 
PrissiSippi said:
I'm not being snarky. I'm foreal. What's the point of having a joint account? Other than if I wanted his money in guessing I could just let him know and go get it and vice versa.
Click to expand...
I liked joint and separate, especially when we were splitting bills.
Joint for household maintenance and groceries.
Separate for your personal responsibilities. The only thing we've never paid for together is our own student loans. I also carry his checkbook and one of his credit cards in addition to my own.
 
CafedeBelleza said:
I liked joint and separate, especially when we were splitting bills.
Joint for household maintenance and groceries.
Separate for your personal responsibilities. The only thing we've never paid for together is our own student loans. I also carry his checkbook and one of his credit cards in addition to my own.
Click to expand...

We do joint and separate accounts as well. I physically pay all the bills, and DH puts whatever amount I need from him into the joint account so I can cover what needs to be covered. And I also maintain our joint savings account. Now that I think about, I don't even think he knows how to the access the savings account smh. lol
 
PrissiSippi said:
I'm not being snarky. I'm foreal. What's the point of having a joint account? Other than if I wanted his money in guessing I could just let him know and go get it and vice versa.

And yeah we went to two marriage counseling a and we talked about finances. We had an argument about it to early on. I said I didn't know where his money went and he didn't know where mine went. And we talked about having a joint account for emergencies related to the house. But I just came to the point where I realize he pays mostly all the bills for the house. I pay electricity, my car, my cell phone, and groceries. So before I bought the car I only had to spend $360 worth of bills so I just let the finances go and realized I probably going to have to be our saver since he didn't save much even though he makes 50% more than what I make.
Click to expand...

As long as you are comfortable with your arrangement, that's all that matters. With my inlaws, they don't have any accounts shared and they have been married over 26 years.
 
Taleah2009 said:
I didn't question your question as snark. For my marriage, a joint account assists in our common goals. It makes me feel we are working towards one common goal. Also, I don't want my money vs your money. I want to get into the habit of everything being ours.

A joint account is not necessary, as @delitefulmane said you just kind of have to figure out what works best for you. I always want to feel like we are working as a unit.
Click to expand...
I just didn't want you to think I wasn't listening to you or make you feel you were wasting your time replying lol. I'm listening. lol Thanks for replying.

Hmm I might start one for our house maintenance. We were going to keep that money in cash to always have on hand but a joint account would work too.
 
PrissiSippi said:
I just didn't want you to think I wasn't listening to you or make you feel you were wasting your time replying lol. I'm listening. lol Thanks for replying.

Hmm I might start one for our house maintenance. We were going to keep that money in cash to always have on hand but a joint account would work too.
Click to expand...

No worries love! We are all here to support each others through this thing called marriage lol
 
I told DH that we HAVE to sit down this weekend and figure out some daily/weekly chores for him. He just goes with the flow and does what I need him to do. It drives me crazy because he doesn't take the initiative to do things around the house on a consistent basis. The buck stops here, buddy! :spank:
 
@PrissiSippi

You ponder the need for a joint account. We have a joint account and it is used to pay the household bills, cover any household emergencies or unexpected expenses, and finances our life insurance/investments. You mention getting on a budget and planning for the future. Having a joint account made this possible for us, especially since hubby makes more than me. We both have several insurance policies and the like which are paid from the joint account. There is no, I can't afford this policy or that investment. Instead, we treat our investments and such like bills and have everything come out on the 1st and the rest of the money is there for each of us to take as we need. We do have individual accounts. I currently have $.94 in mine and it will stay that way until I want to buy something specifically for him.
 
Husband said he was going to put together the rest of the furniture for my sewing room while I was work since he was off today. I am willing to bet by the time I get home my cutting table will not have been put together. lol. It's cool because if its not together, I am dragging his arse with me to ikea after dinner. If by some chance hell froze over he did assemble my table, I will give him a pass on the ikea trip. For today atleast lol
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

MrsBKJ
Im gettin' married...I gave in!!
2
Replies
40
Views
1K
MrsBKJ
MrsBKJ
Glib Gurl
What are your "Marriage Musts"?
Replies
29
Views
735
JustKiya
JustKiya
Julessy
Tradition: Children before Marriage...thoughts?
2
Replies
39
Views
1K
Julessy
Julessy
yokoyokogirl
Married and never divorced: Big deal or not?
2
Replies
42
Views
1K
Aveena
A
movingforward13
Married Ladies - Question
Replies
4
Views
262
movingforward13
movingforward13
Back
Top