Married Ladies Random Thoughts

secretdiamond said:
Just to update:

No reasonable conversation could have been had. DH was plain ol ignoring the issue and ignoring my feelings on the matter. I was so angry, hurt & uncomfortable-- especially when I kept thinking about how his family treats me-- I was close to tears. DH saw that and turned over. :mad: I knew I couldn't take it any longer and left. SIL was not privy to my argument over the phone (or rather, me yelling at him). She had no idea I had even left, at the time.

But, yes, they needed to know that I mattered, too, in this situation. And, it WORKED.

Ladies, I only came here to vent at the time because I felt so hurt, angry, and alone. Just wanted to let off steam, but ended getting much more in advice from you.

The following morning, DH spoke to his sister regarding me feeling unwelcomed not only in her home, but in the family as well. He explained to her that this was a huge problem and since he married me, things would have to change. She called me after he left, said how shocked and hurt she was I left, sincerely apologized, said she would talk to the rest of the family, and that things will be different moving forward. His family will all be coming down to our new home for Christmas.

YA'LL this has been what I have been asking DH to do for more than a year!! He NEVER took the initiative to do anything, despite how hurt I expressed to him I felt. Despite seeing allll the tears. It took me standing up for myself IN THIS WAY for everyone to wake the hell up!

So, yes, I did the right thing! And I thank you @hopeful :notworthy: and the other ladies so much! I not only got to sleep in my comfy hotel bed, it looks like I finally got my new family as well.
:thankyou:
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What is it @Zaynab always says? Men don't understand words. They understand action."
 
You know what frustrates me???? When I tell you about an event that is going on a certain date or something I want to do on a certain date and you say, "OK". I also drop reminders days leading up to the event....I will even mention something the day before the event. Then, when the day is here and I say something, I get, " That's today?"

I had to vent that here because if I say something to him it will be an argument :drunk:
 
I've been so focused on my needs for so long that I really haven't been wholeheartedly thinking about his. I was in church and a random thought cane in o my head about something DH prayed for but didn't get. He never mentioned again but said something last night. I bet that has been on his mind all year. I want to show him he deserved what he asked for and its coming. I don't really know how all the way. Ima do something though
 
A warning light came on in my car the other day and when I left work I called and made an appointment for me to stop on my way home to get it fixed. I texted DH to tell him I would be late getting home and why. He said no you need to come home and relax You need your rest. I'll take care of your car.

I appreciated that so much. And he had dinner waiting for me. :infatuated:
 
DH is soooooo forgetful. It's not things like anniversary dates or birthdays, but it's little things.

Example: He waited until the last minute to decide that he was getting candy and treats for his students. He's a teacher. So, Thursday night he runs to Walmart at 9:30. The next morning as I'm heading out the door, he's texting me asking if I can swing by with the candy he forgot at home!!!

Example: Since he's off for vacation, we made a grocery list for him to pick up some groceries for the week. He leaves and comes home five minutes later. He forgot the list.

I can't understand it. He forgets something at least once a day. I don't fuss, but Lord knows I'm wondering why he can't remember things.
 
cam2717 said:
DH is soooooo forgetful. It's not things like anniversary dates or birthdays, but it's little things.

Example: He waited until the last minute to decide that he was getting candy and treats for his students. He's a teacher. So, Thursday night he runs to Walmart at 9:30. The next morning as I'm heading out the door, he's texting me asking if I can swing by with the candy he forgot at home!!!

Example: Since he's off for vacation, we made a grocery list for him to pick up some groceries for the week. He leaves and comes home five minutes later. He forgot the list.

I can't understand it. He forgets something at least once a day. I don't fuss, but Lord knows I'm wondering why he can't remember things.
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Lol this would be me. I just....forget lol. Scatter brained. Lol I've gotten better with it but lawd. Just work with us.
 
Tamrin said:
I just had a talk with him about us spending more time together.

But tonight will be another 1 hour night. I'm working later, then gym. I will be home by 11pm. :nono:
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Hi @Tamrin,

Your schedules sound like a challenge!

Maybe you two could plan to work out together? If not at the gym, even just walking together where you could talk (no cell phones) and reconnect?
 
DH is a teacher so he is off for the next 2 weeks and I don't know I feel about this. :look: LOL! I worked from home yesterday to spend time with him, but yea I was ready to come back this morning. LOL :drunk: . DH said he would love to work with me so we could be together all day. I'm like no baby, we need our time apart. I want to actually miss you sometimes. lol

I want to give him a honey do list but I think I will let him rest this week and hit him up next week. I just hope I don't come to a house full of dirty dishes and an unmade bed. :laugh:. It seems like when DH is on these little breaks from work I find myself doing more household work.
 
CafedeBelleza said:
Then we were watching the last MI movie and he wants to point out all the places he visited in London that are in the movie. Nica I wasn't there so I don't care!
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This made me laugh!

My DH is the sammmee waayyy. But he is a "late night" talker. When it gets about 10pm, he wants to get into all these deep late night confessional talks. I'm like I got to go to work in the morning. He wants to talk about all his dreams, goals, opinions etc late at night and I am sooo tired. We have all day to talk about this, why now?
 
So much for our first Christmas being married. Hubs is walking around not talking to me. I have no clue what his deal his. We did have an argument yesterday but I thought we moved passed it. Guess not. He hasn't even opened his gifts yet and I'm ready to be petty and remove them from under the tree and take them back
 
I told DH we can go to his parents house first since we went to our house first for thanksgiving. Well my family decided to do s seafood feast. DH likes seafood so he wanted that. He said he wanted to go there first and then his parents. So we just got to his parents. His ma said she "was about to kick my ass" for keeping her son away. (She halfway playing but she's halfway not". She said next holiday I need to skip going to my folks all together and come down here. I wish he would stand up for me. It was his decision to go down here last. He makes me look bad yet again like I'm Tryna keep him from his folks and don't care about them and only care about my family. But I know he won't see it that way.
 
Taleah2009 said:
So much for our first Christmas being married. Hubs is walking around not talking to me. I have no clue what his deal his. We did have an argument yesterday but I thought we moved passed it. Guess not. He hasn't even opened his gifts yet and I'm ready to be petty and remove them from under the tree and take them back
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Figured out what's wrong with my husband! I just finally asked him what's his beef with me. I remained super calm and didn't interupt him (thanks queens code). He went on for a bit and I finally got the root of the issue. He thought I was talking to some guy on Facebook. I'm like ummm what?! Let's get my phone and see. I showed him phone and it turns out he was reading messages between my friend Carolina and I. I'm like dude you know carol why would you think that was a guy. Smh he going to apologize and say it was a lot going on. Dude ruined our Christmas when he could have just asked me on Christmas Eve when he saw the messages about them instead of giving me the silent treatment
 
Taleah2009 said:
Figured out what's wrong with my husband! I just finally asked him what's his beef with me. I remained super calm and didn't interupt him (thanks queens code). He went on for a bit and I finally got the root of the issue. He thought I was talking to some guy on Facebook. I'm like ummm what?! Let's get my phone and see. I showed him phone and it turns out he was reading messages between my friend Carolina and I. I'm like dude you know carol why would you think that was a guy. Smh he going to apologize and say it was a lot going on. Dude ruined our Christmas when he could have just asked me on Christmas Eve when he saw the messages about them instead of giving me the silent treatment
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Lol he couldn't let all that sexiness get away from him. Goes,back to boys and their toys. Lol so cute.
 
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