MARRIAGE need your opinions

[summerof1990]

Need your opinions.
Should a woman bring out the discussion of getting married to her man?
if she wants to get married. I don't think so.

If they are on the same page why would she talk about marriage. Most women want to get married when she reaches a certain point in life.

You should know just by being with a man if a man would spend the rest of his life with you or he's just there for the moment VICE VERSA. If you're not so sure about a man intentions about life it's other ways on going about it than putting marriage of the table.

To me that's a mans job to bring up marriage and take initiative. IF he wants to bring up marriage thats fine but if he's a smart man he should surprise her and THEN talk to her about it.

We all have our own opinions but I won't be taking any initiative in marriage and if I feel he's not serious about a relationship I will leave. You just KNOW theres not discussion for ME.

I asked all of my girls that were married they said they never discussed marriage and it was a big surprise and thats beautiful.

 

[Foxglove]

What sparked this?

 

[cami88]

I don't think it has to be the man's job to bring up marriage. I don't believe in dropping hints. Be direct if marriage is what you want. No point in waiting around to see if he will bring it up.

 

[summerof1990]

I don't think it has to be the man's job to bring up marriage. I don't believe in dropping hints. Be direct if marriage is what you want. No point in waiting around to see if he will bring it up.

I understand that too
I kind of knew all the men who were just there the "boos" and the men who have potential.

I don't believe in taking the Int.
I don't know i kind of believe its a spoiler when u bring it up if ur not married yet.

 

[MrsJaiDiva]

It's only smart to bring up the topic of marriage, just to make sure everyone is on the same page...and to make sure you're not wasting your time. If you find yourself bringing it up Too much, making ultimatums, or , and ....pack him in, and find someone serious. When it's Right, it's Effortless.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

How exactly would they know they are on the same page if they never discuss marriage?

You are mistaken. Most women do not want to get married at any specific point in life and until there is a discussion, the man won't know. I have 4 close friends who are 30 - 45 and single, never married, no kids. They are not actively dating and one has expressed that she has no intention of getting married or having kids.

 

[summerof1990]

It's only smart to bring up the topic of marriage, just to make sure everyone is on the same page...and to make sure you're not wasting your time. If you find yourself bringing it up Too much, making ultimatums, or , and ....pack him in, and find someone serious. When it's Right, it's Effortless.

thats how i feel
no discussions u will KNOW
u too are on the same page
so he proproses and u say yes
and THEN u discuss it because u already knew each other were right

i dont like spoilers so PLEASE dont bring up marriage around me lol

When a woman is 22 she stops looking for hooks up and looks for a real mate.

So i will most likely NOT waste my time or YOURS. You will know if hes just in it for a long time or not too if it's right

 

[summerof1990]

How exactly would they know they are on the same page if they never discuss marriage?

You are mistaken. Most women do not want to get married at any specific point in life and until there is a discussion, the man won't know. I have 4 close friends who are 30 - 45 and single, never married, no kids. They are not actively dating and one has expressed that she has no intention of getting married or having kids.

1. Instincts
2.Well that sucks

 

[topnotch1010]

I think it's ok for a woman to bring up the discussion on marriage, after they've been dating a while exclusively. His response will tell you everything, and most men will be honest about it too.

 

[MrsJaiDiva]

thats how i feel
no discussions u will KNOW
u too are on the same page
so he proproses and u say yes
and THEN u discuss it because u already knew each other were right

i dont like spoilers so PLEASE dont bring up marriage around me lol

When a woman is 22 she stops looking for hooks up and looks for a real mate.

So i will most likely NOT waste my time or YOURS. You will know if hes just in it for a long time or not too if it's right

Marriage at 22?? Why?! That would have screwed up all my wild oat sowin! I got marred at 30, and that was right on time. And I had 1 convo about where our relationship was going, just to find out how invested I needed to be. Some men talk a Great game with No intention of following through...make sure you know you're both on the same page, and leave it at that. Women need to be smart about their investments, and this is no different.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

summerof1990
1. I hope that Jedi Mind trick with never having a discussion works out well for you.

2. It doesn't suck for those who don't want the married with kids life.

1. Instincts
2.Well that sucks

 

[RocStar]

Need your opinions.
Should a woman bring out the discussion of getting married to her man?
if she wants to get married. I don't think so.

Depends on if she is dating for marriage, or dating for fun/relationships.

If they are on the same page why would she talk about marriage. Most women want to get married when she reaches a certain point in life.

How would you know you are on the same page if you don't talk to him about it?

You should know just by being with a man if a man would spend the rest of his life with you or he's just there for the moment VICE VERSA. If you're not so sure about a man intentions about life it's other ways on going about it than putting marriage of the table.

Oh, ok.

To me that's a mans job to bring up marriage and take initiative. IF he wants to bring up marriage thats fine but if he's a smart man he should surprise her and THEN talk to her about it.

Oh, ok.

We all have our own opinions but I won't be taking any initiative in marriage and if I feel he's not serious about a relationship I will leave. You just KNOW theres not discussion for ME.

I asked all of my girls that were married they said they never discussed marriage and it was a big surprise and thats beautiful.

All of my friends did talk about marriage with their guy, sometimes even within the first 3 dates (to find out if the guy is marriage minded), but all of their proposals were a big surprise and that is beautiful.

 

[summerof1990]

Depends on if she is dating for marriage, or dating for fun/relationships.




How would you know you are on the same page if you don't talk to him about it?



Oh, ok.



Oh, ok.



All of my friends did talk about marriage with their guy, sometimes even within the first 3 dates (to find out if the guy is marriage minded), but all of their proposals were a big surprise and that is beautiful.

OH OKAY.
I just know a bull****ter

 

[summerof1990]

summerof1990
1. I hope that Jedi Mind trick with never having a discussion works out well for you.

2. It doesn't suck for those who don't want the married with kids life.

I will work out it always does
it worked out with the women i asked if they discussed marriage
they said the man proposed, never discussed marriaged, and they were deeply in love without each other and
they just knew BOTH PARTIES
if u have to ask as a woman i say just forget it.

 

[Jasmataz]

I think discussing marriage is important when two people are in a serious relationship and have been with each other for a while. I don't think it matters who brings it up first either.

At the very least, there should be some type of talk about where things are headed.

 

[summerof1990]

I think discussing marriage is important when two people are in a serious relationship and have been with each other for a while. I don't think it matters who brings it up first either.

At the very least, there should be some type of talk about where things are headed.

I guess everybodies different one of my besties got proposed to within 2 months
Both were in love
and they are still together

 

[RocStar]

OH OKAY.
I just know a bull****ter

Umm...cool?

You asked for opinions and I gave you mine.

 

[yardyspice]

Women are such liars. I wish people would be honest and say while I never had a conversation I either dropped hints, started distancing myself, etc.

ETA: I believe in discussing marriage openly and candidly. How else is a man supposed to know that you e.g. want to stay home, how many kids, etc.?

 

[wednesday]

thats how i feel
no discussions u will KNOW
u too are on the same page
so he proproses and u say yes
and THEN u discuss it because u already knew each other were right

i dont like spoilers so PLEASE dont bring up marriage around me lol

When a woman is 22 she stops looking for hooks up and looks for a real mate.

So i will most likely NOT waste my time or YOURS. You will know if hes just in it for a long time or not too if it's right

I personally think this is WAY too young to think about settling down.

I guess everybodies different one of my besties got proposed to within 2 months
Both were in love
and they are still together

How long have they been together now?


I think it's really important to discuss marriage with a potential spouse so you can know if you're on the same page.

 

[snillohsss]

I told dh that I wasn't going to be dating forever. That's all I said....got the ring. dh did know what type of family I came from...so he already knew the deal when we became serious.

I do think you have to say something. Just as the woman wants to know the man's intentions...the man wants to know the woman's intention as well.

There is a difference between mentioning your intentions...and thirst.

 

[Jasmataz]

I guess everybodies different one of my besties got proposed to within 2 months
Both were in love
and they are still together

True. I'm not saying it's not possible for it to happen that way, I just don't think it happens that way for most people. I think most people would prefer to have some type of talk about where their relationship is headed.

I think not having this discussion is why some men get their proposals rejected, and why some women sit in relationships for years wondering when their guy will propose.

 

[ladysaraii]

I told dh that I wasn't going to be dating forever. That's all I said....got the ring. dh did know what type of family I came from...so he already knew the deal when we became serious.

I do think you have to say something. Just as the woman wants to know the man's intentions...the man wants to know the woman's intention as well.

There is a difference between mentioning your intentions...and thirst.

I agree with this. I think it can be mentioned, but after that I do think she needs to let him take the lead in the discussions.

 

[Tolle]

Idk, maybe its because I'm buzzed but this thread is weird..

 

[yardyspice]

True. I'm not saying it's not possible for it to happen that way, I just don't think it happens that way for most people. I think most people would prefer to have some type of talk about where their relationship is headed.

I think not having this discussion is why some men get their proposals rejected, and why some women sit in relationships for years wondering when their guy will propose.

I think the point is that you must not be some super special being if you have to mention marriage.

 

[greenandchic]

Ah, Summer its you! Carry on...

 

[summerof1990]

I personally think this is WAY too young to think about settling down.


How long have they been together now?


and its still like they are just obsessed with each other
I think it's really important to discuss marriage with a potential spouse so you can know if you're on the same page.

22 is perfect you should be done with the club/bar life it gets tiring and OLD quick.
6 years they got married after high school

 

[summerof1990]

Ah, Summer its you! Carry on...

hi

 

[summerof1990]

True. I'm not saying it's not possible for it to happen that way, I just don't think it happens that way for most people. I think most people would prefer to have some type of talk about where their relationship is headed.

I think not having this discussion is why some men get their proposals rejected, and why some women sit in relationships for years wondering when their guy will propose.

Women who reject married should have just rejected the relationship before it even got to that part. stop wasting each others time

yes and sitting around waiting i would just leave and find something else.
"AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THIS"

 

[summerof1990]

Women are such liars. I wish people would be honest and say while I never had a conversation I either dropped hints, started distancing myself, etc.

ETA: I believe in discussing marriage openly and candidly. How else is a man supposed to know that you e.g. want to stay home, how many kids, etc.?

if its not on his mind i dont think hes worth it or he doesnt think im worth it
so i'll just save the time

 

[summerof1990]

Umm...cool?

You asked for opinions and I gave you mine.

i gave you mine also