MARRIAGE need your opinions

summerof1990 said:
22 is perfect you should be done with the club/bar life it gets tiring and OLD quick.
6 years they got married after high school
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Hmmmm, why does it have to be bar/club life vs marriage? Some of us haven't been to a bar or club in years but still live a full life without marriage.
 
I have had discussions about marriage and kids with guys before we even got serious. I just simply asked them if they planned to get married and did they want to have children someday.
 
TamedTresses said:
:lol::lol: This will work perfectly if you are both psychics.
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But I've seen it work for others without having a map to do so . Like this.

Two people are totally in love with each other.
Guy KNOWS he wants to spend the rest of his life with this beautiful woman
Shes not going any where because he's the best and shes ready to get married also
Guy proposes
She makes the decision
The end.

You do need a little direction with marriage but eye'm not bringing up marriage because eye feel theres no need too it's his decision and place to take the initiative

So you're saying the people who get it this way have some type of super powers?
 
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Good luck to all who try op's method. I don't agree with it but to each her own. Let us know how it works out for you...

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF
 
summerof1990 said:
Women who reject married should have just rejected the relationship before it even got to that part. stop wasting each others time

yes and sitting around waiting i would just leave and find something else.
"AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THIS"
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Oh, ok :look:. I still disagree.
 
Southernbella. said:
Good luck to all who try op's method. I don't agree with it but to each her own. Let us know how it works out for you...

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF
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i will let u know
it work for plenty of others and im sure u know women who never HAD to bring up marriage because the guy was already in there.
i never knew how many women did this until now :shrugs:

im not an take initiative person. i dont take initiative in anything ppl who wants to be around will be.
 
so basically u guys are saying no man takes the initiative in marriage?
its uncommon for a man to just drop down on one knee and just hope the woman says yes these days.
im super old fashioned i guess.
i dont want to rush a pressure a man into anything let him do it if he doesn't move on
 
OP what you are proposing is very juvenile. In addition to discussing what you both want out of the relationship, there are important topics that are best discussed early on.

I wish you all the best.
 
Ogoma said:
OP what you are proposing is very juvenile. In addition to discussing what you both want out of the relationship, there are important topics that are best discussed early on.

I wish you all the best.
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If a man wanting to go out his way to marry a woman without having her to even discuss it is juvenile so be it. and have her to accept his hand in marriage then its juvenile. discuss how you want to build a life together AFTER she said yes.
 
summerof1990 said:
so basically u guys are saying no man takes the initiative in marriage?
its uncommon for a man to just drop down on one knee and just hope the woman says yes these days.
im super old fashioned i guess.
i dont want to rush a pressure a man into anything let him do it if he doesn't move on
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My husband proposed on one knee and it was lovely. We had already discussed marriage though. We started our relationship for the purpose of getting married. I was surprised by the date of the proposal but not the proposal itself...I wouldn't have entered a relationship unless I knew marriage was in the future, and as mature adults, we discussed it.

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF
 
Oh okay, well me and my girls are dfferent they didn't even have intentions on getting married it just happened. which is beautiful.
 
I was very direct with dh about marriage, and brought it up when we first started dating. I tried the passive approach with my ex and all that did was waste my time! I will never encourage a woman to wait for their so to bring up marriage. You nay be waiting for a while. There's nothing wrong with expressing what you want. I flat out told dh that if he wasn't interested in marriage then we should not proceed any further with our relationship. That was one of the first times in my life that I was ever that direct/blunt and i'm so glad I was.
 
gabulldawg said:
I was very direct with dh about marriage, and brought it up when we first started dating. I tried the passive approach with my ex and all that did was waste my time! I will never encourage a woman to wait for their so to bring up marriage. You nay be waiting for a while. There's nothing wrong with expressing what you want. I flat out told dh that if he wasn't interested in marriage then we should not proceed any further with our relationship. That was one of the first times in my life that I was ever that direct/blunt and i'm so glad I was.
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boss lol.
if he doesn't ask then i will feel im not worth is so i'll just move on it if never happens i'll just assume im not either pretty enough for a man to be interested for a life long commit or my personality is not good enough
 
yardyspice said:
:lol::lol:

Women are such liars. I wish people would be honest and say while I never had a conversation :rolleyes: I either dropped hints, started distancing myself, etc.

ETA: I believe in discussing marriage openly and candidly. How else is a man supposed to know that you e.g. want to stay home, how many kids, etc.?
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This right here. Op is assuming that her girls told her the truth. Some think it sounds better to say their man just up and proposed like they live in a fairytale or something. :lol: I don't know many men who would drop thousands of dollars on a ring for someone and not even know if they were interested in marriage at all, let alone to him! I'd question that man's logic skills for real.
 
summerof1990 said:
boss lol.
if he doesn't ask then i will feel im not worth is so i'll just move on it if never happens i'll just assume im not either pretty enough for a man to be interested for a life long commit or my personality is not good enough
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I think you would be making a mistake. Assumptions will get you nowhere in life, and that doesn't just go for relationships.
 
gabulldawg said:
This right here. Op is assuming that her girls told her the truth. Some think it sounds better to say their man just up and proposed like they live in a fairytale or something. :lol: I don't know many men who would drop thousands of dollars on a ring for someone and not even know if they were interested in marriage at all, let alone to him! I'd question that man's logic skills for real.
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they wouldn't lie. and
i asked the guys too
im not just going to let them off easily without my approval.lol
i asked what made them want to marry them since men that are younger than 25 don't want that usually.
they all gave their reasons one said he was ready (he's a good guy raised well)
other one was ready because he was missing a key woman in his life. which is his mom. and my besty is really sweet and lively. hard to find this in my generation SO I SEE WHY HE MARRIED HER POINT BLANK
 
Marriage as a surprise is the worst idea ever. You need to be prepared for marriage. Mentally and otherwise
 
summerof1990 said:
22 is perfect you should be done with the club/bar life it gets tiring and OLD quick.
6 years they got married after high school
Click to expand...

I'm guessing you're young, and you don't know what marriage is? Because its nothing to run to at 22...and I'm saying that, and I have a pretty happy marriage. One of the reasons it's so happy is because I fully lived my life, and made sure I was a complete person before I joined myself to my husband. And if you think clubs and bars are all there is to life, you'll hit 40 after having been married for 18 years and be f'ing miserable. :yep: Marriage isn't the end all of your life....it shouldn't be your life's greatest accomplishment! Go out and Live first.
 
MrsJaiDiva said:
I'm guessing you're young, and you don't know what marriage is? Because its nothing to run to at 22...and I'm saying that, and I have a pretty happy marriage. One of the reasons it's so happy is because I fully lived my life, and made sure I was a complete person before I joined myself to my husband. And if you think clubs and bars are all there is to life, you'll hit 40 after having been married for 18 years and be f'ing miserable. :yep: Marriage isn't the end all of your life....it shouldn't be your life's greatest accomplishment! Go out and Live first.
Click to expand...

im not young im 22
yes marriage is an accomplishment
and club and bar is not my thing.
 
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