It's Sexy To Me When A Woman Has Her Own

[LadyPBC]

@BillsBackerz67 and @FemmeFatale

Well there is more to the story. I'm not knocking her earning potential but I'm knocking her sense of entitlement. You want to live large and insist on doing so by spending my brother's money while bringing nothing to the table. They have a budget but she doesn't want to live within it. She has not even EVER cooked him a meal. I would appreciate her better if she worked with him. He has to make all the concessions. She is not bending in any way but he shut her down. He is tight with his coins.

Anyway I don't mind having an opinion about his relationships because he certainly is not shy about giving me his opinion or telling me exactly what I should do.

 

[BillsBackerz67]

@BillsBackerz67 and @FemmeFatale

Well there is more to the story. I'm not knocking her earning potential but I'm knocking her sense of entitlement. You want to live large and insist on doing so by spending my brother's money while bringing nothing to the table. They have a budget but she doesn't want to live within it. She has not even EVER cooked him a meal. I would appreciate her better if she worked with him. He has to make all the concessions. She is not bending in any way but he shut her down. He is tight with his coins.

Anyway I don't mind having an opinion about his relationships because he certainly is not shy about giving me his opinion or telling me exactly what I should do.

If your brother likes it you love itHe'll learn...or maybe not.

 

[Southernbella.]

@BillsBackerz67 and @FemmeFatale

Well there is more to the story. I'm not knocking her earning potential but I'm knocking her sense of entitlement. You want to live large and insist on doing so by spending my brother's money while bringing nothing to the table. They have a budget but she doesn't want to live within it. She has not even EVER cooked him a meal. I would appreciate her better if she worked with him. He has to make all the concessions. She is not bending in any way but he shut her down. He is tight with his coins.

Anyway I don't mind having an opinion about his relationships because he certainly is not shy about giving me his opinion or telling me exactly what I should do.

He would stop if he wasn't getting anything out of if. He's your brother so I don't want to say something that will squick you out but there must be something about her company that he really enjoys

 

[movingforward13]

And in most instances theyll try to prove you wrong and really push the unwanted woman on you to like her....and everything you dont want to happen will happen unfortunately. I dont have this issue if anything id tell these women to run like gump messing with my brother. Hes tight as hell with money and needs to get a vasectomy.

Take it from me. They won't listen. I stopped dipping into my bros business a while back. They like what they like, as a woman, I won't understand.

You right- that is why I am trying to instill in my son now what to look for when it comes to women. Not overtly just little tidbits here and there to get into his young mind. Mamas do shape their sons, especially if they have a close relationship (like I do with mine). Don't get me wrong, I want my son to be a provider and lead his family for a good woman. The same as I would want my daughter to take care of her husband to a good man.

I don't have a brother so I am only worried about my son.

 

[movingforward13]

@BillsBackerz67 and @FemmeFatale

Well there is more to the story. I'm not knocking her earning potential but I'm knocking her sense of entitlement. You want to live large and insist on doing so by spending my brother's money while bringing nothing to the table. They have a budget but she doesn't want to live within it. She has not even EVER cooked him a meal. I would appreciate her better if she worked with him. He has to make all the concessions. She is not bending in any way but he shut her down. He is tight with his coins.

Anyway I don't mind having an opinion about his relationships because he certainly is not shy about giving me his opinion or telling me exactly what I should do.

This is what I am talking about

 

[FemmeFatale]

@BillsBackerz67 and @FemmeFatale

Well there is more to the story. I'm not knocking her earning potential but I'm knocking her sense of entitlement. You want to live large and insist on doing so by spending my brother's money while bringing nothing to the table. They have a budget but she doesn't want to live within it. She has not even EVER cooked him a meal. I would appreciate her better if she worked with him. He has to make all the concessions. She is not bending in any way but he shut her down. He is tight with his coins.

Anyway I don't mind having an opinion about his relationships because he certainly is not shy about giving me his opinion or telling me exactly what I should do.

Honestly I would consider that none of my business..his life isn't in danger and he's making those choices himself so obviously he wants to do it. That's like me being salty and mad at my very grown 36 yr old brother for spending $18K on his fiancé's engagement ring. If he loves her and feel compelled to go all out then who am I to be crabby about it.

Oh I love a demanding, entitled woman lol.

 

[intellectualuva]

Meh. She's winning. If your brother like it...so be it. Plenty of men don't mind women doing nothing...wish there were more women in relationships doing less...maybe married women would bridge the lifespan gap between them and single women.

 

[chassiecrane]

In a world where my dollar is a fraction of a man's dollar, you shall never catch me out in these streets sympathizing with a man about coming out of his pockets for a woman. Get money honey. Matter of fact, even if my dollar equaled his dollar, I would not be sympathizing because the way patriarchy is set up, he will alwayssss be on a higher rung of the ladder of life than me. And for the same reasons it makes my throat itch when I see a woman with money stuffing a man's pockets. Neither are any of my business though until it's my business so more power to them.

 

[caribeandiva]

Was it Neyo?

I know right! Every time I scroll past this thread that song pops on in my head: "I love it cuz she got her own.."

 

[lalah]

Or paying him alimony

Yes! The guy from my past who I reconnected with and just got out of a relationship with is recently divorced from his wife who is a nurse making 80K. I realized he chose her with the intension of her taking care of him. He stayed umemployed throughout the marriage. The money he made (illegally and on bouts of employment) he spent on expensive cars, weed, and alcohol, while she paid all the bills. She became angry after marrying him realizing he was a leech. Now she's paying $500/month alimony for 3 years and he got half the value of her 401k and pension during the 8 year marriage. I realize he was looking for his next victim because of the comments he would make to me. He's now wooing his new woman, who is a nurse, with his ex-wife's money. I realized I dodge bullet when we broke up the 1st time 14 years ago and this time too.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Is it just me but I feel like I never hear other races of men talk about being a "power couple?"

It's actually getting kind of annoying.

 

[michelle81]

Is it just me but I feel like I never hear other races of men talk about being a "power couple?"

It's actually getting kind of annoying.

Other races do as well. In fact, I was just watching an old video and a white doctor who had been married for years was talking about it. The wife was a SAHM and she (apparently) never knew until the video that he initially wanted someone as accomplished as him. Awkward.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Other races do as well. In fact, I was just watching an old video and a white doctor who had been married for years was talking about it. The wife was a SAHM and she (apparently) never knew until the video that he initially wanted someone as accomplished as him. Awkward.

But that's kind of my point. It's not the first thing out their mouths.

I'm recovering from adventures in online dating and it's something I've noticed. Standards for women have increased while standards for men have decreased.

 

[michelle81]

I think there's "room at the table" for all types of women. If a woman desires to be a SAHW or SAHM and her DH can afford for her to, good for her. That situation can come with some risks if the couple does not proactively seek to make sure the woman will be financially okay should divorce or death happen. Non-working spouses can have IRA's and life/disability insurance would have to be an absolute must for me to be okay with that situation, probably along with a prenup.

I've read before that women are happiest when they work part-time. Who knows why those women are the happiest. My guess is that some feel their best when having their own thing going on and the security some may feel if divorce or death happens.

Other women have spent years and thousands of dollars pursuing a career she is passionate about and wants to enjoy the fruits of that labor by doing something she is passionate about. That doesn't mean she may not stay home for a little while if she wants to with a new baby or that she is actually paying any household bills. I know plenty of women that have this setup and they are not splitting any bills or worried about much of anything financially.

We all have to make the choices that we feel are best for us and our families. I'm sure it's just the circles I hang around in, but I work with a lot of millionaires of all races. Some of them want to have a wife just as accomplished or nearly accomplished as he is - others don't care one bit. The guy I mentioned earlier in this thread didn't care at first, but a nasty divorce changed all of that.

 

[michelle81]

But that's kind of my point. It's not the first thing out their mouths.

I'm recovering from adventures in online dating and it's something I've noticed. Standards for women have increased while standards for men have decreased.

I'll have to see if I can find the video. The look on the wife's face was one where she wish she would have known that early on. The guy said he was happy with their setup now, but it was not what he wanted. A lot of black guys are okay without being a power couple. There's a few women in this thread that have stated they are taken care of financially without the expectation of being part of a power couple. I just typically feel that men of all races are much more alike than different.

 

[Evolving78]

Delete

 

[michelle81]

Oh see he is divorced. That explains a lot. He is bitter. What he doesn't understand is once married, whatever happens during the marriage is marriage territory. However it started, doesn't end the same way.

Edited.
I'm not sure that bitter is the word I'd use for him, probably cautiously guarded. Divorce changes both of those involved and I gather that he would do things very different knowing what he knows now. Especially considering second marriages have an even higher chance of divorce.

 

[Evolving78]

Delete

 

[Evolving78]

Delete

 

[AlexandriaKiera]

That's personally a red flag to me. I am 25 and I am in no way, shape, or form interested in men whom I have to "split" finances. I'm okay with it if we are just dating but once we are married that's completely different. I am too much of a quality woman to settle for less and I know my value.

I do not want to struggle and I will not settle for struggle love. Not for me.

I am attracted to intelligence, ambition and power. I am also an equal opportunity dater when it comes to race.

I've always required a man who views me working as "optional". I'll likely always work but I don't want to be required to work

 

[PrissiSippi]

I'm very very very ambitious. In my past it attracted nothing but guys like in the OP. Ones looking for a come up and for me to teach them rather than they help me or we work together as a dream team. I would stay away from types like this.

 

[qchelle]

That's personally a red flag to me. I am 25 and I am in no way, shape, or form interested in men whom I have to "split" finances. I'm okay with it if we are just dating but once we are married that's completely different. I am too much of a quality woman to settle for less and I know my value.

I do not want to struggle and I will not settle for struggle love. Not for me.

I am attracted to intelligence, ambition and power. I am also an equal opportunity dater when it comes to race.

I've always required a man who views me working as "optional". I'll likely always work but I don't want to be required to work

I feel the opposite. I'm not okay with financially helping while dating, but I am within a marriage.

I'm also not attracted to intelligence and power and don't be too ambitious either, cuz I'm not moving all over the place or shmoozing with people for his damn job

 

[PeaceLover]

I think there's "room at the table" for all types of women. If a woman desires to be a SAHW or SAHM and her DH can afford for her to, good for her. That situation can come with some risks if the couple does not proactively seek to make sure the woman will be financially okay should divorce or death happen. Non-working spouses can have IRA's and life/disability insurance would have to be an absolute must for me to be okay with that situation, probably along with a prenup.

I've read before that women are happiest when they work part-time. Who knows why those women are the happiest. My guess is that some feel their best when having their own thing going on and the security some may feel if divorce or death happens.

Other women have spent years and thousands of dollars pursuing a career she is passionate about and wants to enjoy the fruits of that labor by doing something she is passionate about. That doesn't mean she may not stay home for a little while if she wants to with a new baby or that she is actually paying any household bills. I know plenty of women that have this setup and they are not splitting any bills or worried about much of anything financially.

We all have to make the choices that we feel are best for us and our families. I'm sure it's just the circles I hang around in, but I work with a lot of millionaires of all races. Some of them want to have a wife just as accomplished or nearly accomplished as he is - others don't care one bit. The guy I mentioned earlier in this thread didn't care at first, but a nasty divorce changed all of that.

I believe this. Part time seems like the ideal setup. I'm still getting experience & have a life outside of my family, but I'm not overworked. Before we got married, DH told me I could be a SAHW but I didn't want to completely give up work & my own money. So far it's awesome.

 

[dicapr]

Because it's resentment that the "lesser" woman found a good man.

It's because it's hard to see someone who you love with a leach. When the "good" man struggling is a family member who is working hard, and squandering his wealth on someone who doesn't appreciate it and only wants more from them it becomes very difficult to watch.

That isn't a good look on anyone and yes I am unashamed to say I feel that type of woman is lesser. It has nothing to do with education or earning power. It is the fact that they are content to sit back and let someone shoulder the burden while only thinking of themselves and how they can use someone else's means to further their life goals. If you truly loved someone you'd want to make their life easier not capitalize on their hard work and success while you bring nothing to the table. And contrary to popular belief being cute isn't bringing anything concrete to the table.

 

[Femmefatal1981]

You don't get to decide that a woman brings nothing to the table. Only her SO can do that and clearly he disagrees with you because he is willing to work hard so that she can "squander his wealth".

Y'all got a lot of nerve and this it shows that many you don't understand men at all.

 

[Femmefatal1981]

I'm very very very ambitious. In my past it attracted nothing but guys like in the OP. Ones looking for a come up and for me to teach them rather than they help me or we work together as a dream team. I would stay away from types like this.

This is a lesson some women refuse to learn.

 

[FemmeFatale]

It's because it's hard to see someone who you love with a leach. When the "good" man struggling is a family member who is working hard, and squandering his wealth on someone who doesn't appreciate it and only wants more from them it becomes very difficult to watch.

That isn't a good look on anyone and yes I am unashamed to say I feel that type of woman is lesser. It has nothing to do with education or earning power. It is the fact that they are content to sit back and let someone shoulder the burden while only thinking of themselves and how they can use someone else's means to further their life goals. If you truly loved someone you'd want to make their life easier not capitalize on their hard work and success while you bring nothing to the table. And contrary to popular belief being cute isn't bringing anything concrete to the table.

Interesting.. well I don't keep up with what my full grown 36 and 38 yr old brothers and other male family and friends spend on their women. They're grown and it's their money and their lives *shrug*

 

[FemmeFatale]

You don't get to decide that a woman brings nothing to the table. Only her SO can do that and clearly he disagrees with you because he is willing to work hard so that she can "squander his wealth".

Y'all got a lot of nerve and this it shows that many you don't understand men at all.

Yeah this need to police grown men on how much they do for their women is ridiculous and no I don't buy that it's not coming from a place of care.

 

[michelle81]

You don't get to decide that a woman brings nothing to the table. Only her SO can do that and clearly he disagrees with you because he is willing to work hard so that she can "squander his wealth".

Y'all got a lot of nerve and this it shows that many you don't understand men at all.

Right. The men in those relationships are absolutely getting something of equal value out of those types of relationships. Whether it's arm candy, coloring, or a hundred other things. I wish I would tell my brother/uncle/cousin that the person he chose isn't good enough for him and his money. I don't play that. If my brother chose her and as long as there's not abuse going on, I go by the principle "if he likes her, then I love her for him".

 

[movingforward13]

It's because it's hard to see someone who you love with a leach. When the "good" man struggling is a family member who is working hard, and squandering his wealth on someone who doesn't appreciate it and only wants more from them it becomes very difficult to watch.

That isn't a good look on anyone and yes I am unashamed to say I feel that type of woman is lesser. It has nothing to do with education or earning power. It is the fact that they are content to sit back and let someone shoulder the burden while only thinking of themselves and how they can use someone else's means to further their life goals. If you truly loved someone you'd want to make their life easier not capitalize on their hard work and success while you bring nothing to the table. And contrary to popular belief being cute isn't bringing anything concrete to the table.

This- but that is why I am teaching my son from now versus trying to get him when he is older. He gonna know not to marry or get leaches pregnant. I could care less about any other man, especially if they already consulted with me and I gave my disapproval. They will learn one way or another *shrugs*

Side note - I believe this is why we have so many problems now dating... I keep meeting men who refuse to $pend because they were used by someone who only saw him as dollar signs and a means to an end versus a human being who has a lot to bring to the table. Men remember this quicker than women and they coach one another AND COACH THE YOUNGERS (just hit it and move on, f&ck that B, etc.)

This is also another reason why many of them look at us as property - because we can be "bought". Again, not saying a man SHOULDN'T provide or take care of his wife and his family- that is completely different from a leach.
There are levels to this. But JMHO.