It's Sexy To Me When A Woman Has Her Own

Honey Bee said:
Not necessarily. What you see in this forum are women who want the freedom to stay home with their newborns without worrying about who owes whom. I think you're younger than most of us, so that might not yet be on your list of concerns. For me, I had serious health issues very early on(straight out of undergrad) which precluded our power couple dreams, lol. It's nice knowing the relationship will survive regardless of your earning power. Comforting.
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I'm in my early 30s, getting married & having kids within the next year or so :lol: Ultimately, I totally get that ppl have different aspirations and concerns in life. For me, I don't have the worries you mentioned Bc I've been very intentional about certain things & God is so kind. I'll be home with my babies and comfy regardless of how we slice the cake at this point. Prob w/ a nanny, but still :lol: Bae thanks the Lord I'm a "just in case" type of girl. Knowing we'll always be good financially Bc I'm directly involved is the most comforting space for me. (I'm also really happy to hear that things worked out so well in your relationship despite any health setbacks, that's a blessing :yep: )
 
Sue me but ... I sure wish that my brother felt this way. He always seems to go for these women who are financially needy. He dates all races so I'm not sure why he can't find someone who brings something to the table. I guess his priority is a warm bed and a home cooked meal. His current love interest is not even providing that. She works retail and wants him to buy them a house to move into together to see if they can make it. Not just a house but an expensive one that he can use as an investment property if they don't make it. He can afford it. Meanwhile she can make no real contribution towards the purchase of this home.

I'm looking for a wonderful lady for my brother. Must be single, heterosexual, a pretty good cook, affectionate, attractive, over 40, a team player (willing to work together to achieve stuff), outgoing (likes concerts, plays, dinner, travel, etc.) and gainfully employed. I would add that she should have an advanced degree but that's probably being too bougie huh?
 
MissNina said:
I'm in my early 30s, getting married & having kids within the next year or so :lol: Ultimately, I totally get that ppl have different aspirations and concerns in life. For me, I don't have the worries you mentioned Bc I've been very intentional about certain things & God is so kind. I'll be home with my babies and comfy regardless of how we slice the cake at this point. Prob w/ a nanny, but still :lol: Bae thanks the Lord I'm a "just in case" type of girl. Knowing we'll always be good financially Bc I'm directly involved is the most comforting space for me. (I'm also really happy to hear that things worked out so well in your relationship despite any health setbacks, that's a blessing :yep: )
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Congratulations!! I don't know why I thought you were in your 20's! :lol: Yay on the wedding and stuff!

I've been lucky, but the best laid plans... I was very intentional too, did all the right stuff, but somehow, it all ended up... not working. The plan was archaeology or translation from the ancient languages but (hereditary) things hit you and plans go awry. What can you do? It's lucky that, @ 19, I had tired of the game and was looking to 'settle down'. :spinning: :lol: I just so happened to have picked right and didn't get left, even though I pushed him away for many years.

All I can say is, 'hope for the best, plan for the worst.' :yep:
 
Honey Bee said:
Congratulations!! I don't know why I thought you were in your 20's! :lol: Yay on the wedding and stuff!

I've been lucky, but the best laid plans... I was very intentional too, did all the right stuff, but somehow, it all ended up... not working. The plan was archaeology or translation from the ancient languages but (hereditary) things hit you and plans go awry. What can you do? It's lucky that, @ 19, I had tired of the game and was looking to 'settle down'. :spinning: :lol: I just so happened to have picked right and didn't get left, even though I pushed him away for many years.

All I can say is, 'hope for the best, plan for the worst.' :yep:
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OT: Do you do year ahead forecasts? I'm looking to get one...oh and a birth chart analysis :look:
 
LadyPBC said:
Sue me but ... I sure wish that my brother felt this way. He always seems to go for these women who are financially needy. He dates all races so I'm not sure why he can't find someone who brings something to the table. I guess his priority is a warm bed and a home cooked meal. His current love interest is not even providing that. She works retail and wants him to buy them a house to move into together to see if they can make it. Not just a house but an expensive one that he can use as an investment property if they don't make it. He can afford it. Meanwhile she can make no real contribution towards the purchase of this home.

I'm looking for a wonderful lady for my brother. Must be single, heterosexual, a pretty good cook, affectionate, attractive, over 40, a team player (willing to work together to achieve stuff), outgoing (likes concerts, plays, dinner, travel, etc.) and gainfully employed. I would add that she should have an advanced degree but that's probably being too bougie huh?
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Girl no shade but is this an ideal woman for you or your brother:lachen:if he has basic priorities than so be it. Give your future broke SIL a chance.
 
bellatiamarie said:
But isn't that what grown, single/unmarried people do? Don't they take care of themselves? What's so sexy about providing for self as a single person?

That's what makes me think he's tryna run game talmbout "it's sexy." boy, gone on.

I could understand if he said something like I appreciate a woman that's able to take care of herself.... but you find it "sexy"? :lol:

I must be missing something in the game. All of the single women I know work to care for self.
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I kinda-sorta understand how it can be sexy. I live alone and keep a nice place and my cousin said, "men must really like it here." She couldn't explain why so I asked some male friends about it and they said they found it attractive because I keep my place clean and inviting, and I make a good hostess. I think they begin to see me in a more "home life" light and their minds begin to wonder "what if...."

Now I only allow men over when it's beneficial for them to see me in that way.

ETA: They never comment that it's sexy for me to be working or having a job. :lol: It's always compliments about my homemaking skills.
 
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hunnychile said:
I kinda-sorta understand how it can be sexy. I live alone and keep a nice place and my cousin said, "men must really like it here." She couldn't explain why so I asked some male friends about it and they said they found it attractive because I keep my place clean and inviting, and I make a good hostess. I think they begin to see me in a more "home life" light and their minds begin to wonder "what if...."

Now I only allow men over when it's beneficial for them to see me in that way.

ETA: They never comment that it's sexy for me to be working or having a job. :lol: It's always compliments about my homemaking skills.
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Well is it working ? I keep a nice place too so I need to know :lachen:
I don't invite people over and men are usually surprised by that because a lot of women are eager to show off their cooking and cleaning skills.
 
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Covagirlm said:
Well is it working ? I keep a nice place too so I need to know :lachen:
I don't invite people over and men are usually surprised by that because a lot of women are eager to show off their cooking and cleaning skills.
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You already know...dont even ask to use the bathroom my nig. You better pee before you pick me up. I dont want anyone in my house AT ALL. The waitress can show us her hosting skills:look:
 
BillsBackerz67 said:
Girl no shade but is this an ideal woman for you or your brother:lachen:if he has basic priorities than so be it. Give your future broke SIL a chance.
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I feel her because if stuff doesn't work out then he is going to be paying her alimony while she moves on to the next. It will be more difficult for him to move on with reduced pockets.

Plus- what could she have in common with the other women in his life? Those women may resent that she is doing the bare minimum for herself and gets a good man while they are working hard...

I have NO issues with a man taking care of a woman but broke one who has nothing going for her? I know two men now who gave the world to broke women and they are paying for it dearly. Good men that are now jaded by "love". I tell them all the time, you deserve what you got- should have chosen better.
 
movingforward13 said:
I feel her because if stuff doesn't work out then he is going to be paying her alimony while she moves on to the next. It will be more difficult for him to move on with reduced pockets.

Plus- what could she have in common with the other women in his life? Those women may resent that she is doing the bare minimum for herself and gets a good man while they are working hard...

I have NO issues with a man taking care of a woman but broke one who has nothing going for her? I know two men now who gave the world to broke women and they are paying for it dearly. Good men that are now jaded by "love". I tell them all the time, you deserve what you got- should have chosen better.
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Then thats her brothers prob not hers. Look at what you said in your last sentence...pretty much! Like its nice to have ideals for family but after its all said and done he's going to chose who he wants to chose and will have to deal with whatever ramifications that comes along with his choice. How is it her problem if the women you mentioned have to work hard? Thats their choice. Girl boo not her circus. He a grown ass man. If he's not concerned she shouldnt be.


ETA im a workaholic, by choice. but i dont look down on women who or feel salty about falling into the easy life or dont have to work hard like i do. It is what it is, and thats my choice.
 
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BillsBackerz67 said:
Then thats her brothers prob not hers. Look at what you said in your last sentence...pretty much! Like its nice to have ideals for family but after its all said and done he's going to chose who he wants to chose and will have to deal with whatever ramifications that comes along with his choice. How is it her problem if the women you mentioned have to work hard? Thats their choice. Girl boo not her circus. He a grown ass man. If he's not concerned she shouldnt be.
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Because it's resentment that the "lesser" woman found a good man.
 
FemmeFatale said:
Because it's resentment that the "lesser" woman found a good man.
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ITA. And its like lesser based on what? Because her earning power isnt what it should be? Because she didnt go to school? Laughable...cuz yall all see how that thread in OT is going with Judge Ratchet:look: if anything id chose the former for my brother than that lady lol.


Now granted i think every woman regardless of income level should be able to afford to provide her own standard basic needs...ie soap to wash her ass, feminine hygiene products, a stash or stream of income independent of dude...even if its pocket change from selling clothes on poshmark, a roof over her head (whether is a shared space, roomie situation, or living with rents) and be able to provide her own transportation whether its car, bike, metro card...enough to where if ish hit the fan she doesnt have to deal with the trash nonsense and can bounce....basically an escape route. If not i give a major side eye.

If she can snag a provider and be smart enough to make that situation work for her vs becoming financially abused, knocked up out of desperation, and manipulated, then kudos, issa comeup. I aint mad. If shes lazy, doesnt cook or clean, and dude still chooses to be with her hey who are we? Its not affecting my pockets. Lol.
 
FemmeFatale said:
Because it's resentment that the "lesser" woman found a good man.
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This exactly.

I think it is difficult for most people to "put in work" and "do the right things" only to find they aren't "rewarded" in the end compared to someone who didn't do as much and had it easier (that's life yes, just stating the obvious) .

But you right @BillsBackerz67 - concerning my friends, I give them an honest opinion about a woman and wish them well. Their choice. Usually I am right and end up hearing about it later on (just like a phone call I got this past Sunday) and I tell them "you should have chose better".
Now, if it were my brother or my son, I would be more forceful with it... why, cause they mine. No one wants to see their family member go through that if they can help it. If I know his is thinking with his peynus more than what this girl brings to the table, I am going to have something to say, as this girl will potentially be my SIL or DIL or mother of my grandchildren/nieces or nephews.
 
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movingforward13 said:
This exactly.

I think it is difficult for most people to "put in work" and "do the right things" only to find they aren't "rewarded" in the end compared to someone who didn't do as much and had it easier (that's life yes, just stating the obvious) .

But you right @BillsBackerz67 - concerning my friends, I give them an honest opinion about a woman and wish them well. Their choice. Usually I am right and end up hearing about it later on (just like a phone call I got this past Sunday) and I tell them "you should have chose better".
Now, if it were my brother or my son, I would be more forceful with it... why, cause they mine. No one wants to see their family member go through that if they can help it. If I know his is thinking with his peynus more than what this girl brings to the table, I am going to have something to say, as this girl will potentially be my SIL or DIL or mother of my grandchildren/nieces or nephews.
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And in most instances theyll try to prove you wrong and really push the unwanted woman on you to like her....and everything you dont want to happen will happen unfortunately:lachen:. I dont have this issue if anything id tell these women to run like gump messing with my brother. Hes tight as hell with money and needs to get a vasectomy.
 
BillsBackerz67 said:
ITA. And its like lesser based on what? Because her earning power isnt what it should be? Because she didnt go to school? Laughable...cuz yall all see how that thread in OT is going with Judge Ratchet:look: if anything id chose the former for my brother than that lady lol.


Now granted i think every woman regardless of income level should be able to afford to provide her own standard basic needs...ie soap to wash her ass, feminine hygiene products, a stash or stream of income independent of dude...even if its pocket change from selling clothes on poshmark, a roof over her head (whether is a shared space, roomie situation, or living with rents) and be able to provide her own transportation whether its car, bike, metro card...enough to where if ish hit the fan she doesnt have to deal with the trash nonsense and can bounce....basically an escape route. If not i give a major side eye.

If she can snag a provider and be smart enough to make that situation work for her vs becoming financially abused, knocked up out of desperation, and manipulated, then kudos, issa comeup. I aint mad. If shes lazy, doesnt cook or clean, and dude still chooses to be with her hey who are we? Its not affecting my pockets. Lol.
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Pretty much! I have 2 older brothers, male cousins, friends and the most I've asked is the general "oh what does she do" question and it's out of interest/small talk, not much past that. I've also never gotten a response that made me say drop her, she doesn't make enough.
 
movingforward13 said:
This exactly.

I think it is difficult for most people to "put in work" and "do the right things" only to find they aren't "rewarded" in the end compared to someone who didn't do as much and had it easier (that's life yes, just stating the obvious) .

But you right @BillsBackerz67 - concerning my friends, I give them an honest opinion about a woman and wish them well. Their choice. Usually I am right and end up hearing about it later on (just like a phone call I got this past Sunday) and I tell them "you should have chose better".
Now, if it were my brother or my son, I would be more forceful with it... why, cause they mine. No one wants to see their family member go through that if they can help it. If I know his is thinking with his peynus more than what this girl brings to the table, I am going to have something to say, as this girl will potentially be my SIL or DIL or mother of my grandchildren/nieces or nephews.
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Take it from me. They won't listen. I stopped dipping into my bros business a while back. They like what they like, as a woman, I won't understand.
 
FemmeFatale said:
Pretty much! I have 2 older brothers, male cousins, friends and the most I've asked is the general "oh what does she do" question and it's out of interest/small talk, not much past that. I've also never gotten a response that made me say drop her, she doesn't make enough.
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I kinda said something once to my cousin's best friend...i knew the girl he was messing with and she was bad news. She was under 26 and had 3 kids with 3 different men. I jokingly said to him"Bruh what you trying to be the 4th BD or something?! Goals! High five. LOL" and left it at that. He learned real quick.:lachen: She had the most beautiful long curly hair and cute face...i can see how she reels em in.:abducted:
 
Honey Bee said:
:rofl:
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gorl! That situation was just too messy for me not to say something. Like dude what iz you thinkino_O 1 kid ok...maybe even 2 by the same dude but after that ur nuts to fall into that trap. Dude was balls deep in love with that girl by the 3rd day:lachen:Im almost certain he would have been the next victim if he didnt get sent away for CO training school in Albany shortly after meeting her. That was his saving grace.
 
BillsBackerz67 said:
gorl! That situation was just too messy for me not to say something. Like dude what iz you thinkino_O 1 kid ok...maybe even 2 by the same dude but after that ur nuts to fall into that trap. Dude was balls deep in love with that girl by the 3rd day:lachen:Im almost certain he would have been the next victim if he didnt get sent away for CO training school in Albany shortly after meeting her. That was his saving grace.
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Shame works! :lachen: :up:
 
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